Friday, August 24, 2007

Robin Williams on Speed

LOL! Look at my buddy map at the bottom of this blog! Three days ago it looked like it had the chicken pox with a few scattered red dots. Now it looks like someone shot it and there's blood everywhere! Red dots all over!

I've gotten so much mail and oh my gosh - some of them were so funny, I about wet MY pants! You guys crack me up! I know I said I'd post some of the comments on my blog, but I've received nearly 10,000 emails and honestly don't know where to start! I want to apologize to all of you who have taken the time to write, compliment my writing, share your story, or ask me a question. I just cannot respond to all the mail I'm getting. This will probably all die down in a day or two and then maybe I can get back to all of you. Please don't think I'm ignoring your questions and requests. It's just that I can only read so fast and now and then I have to change a diaper and throw my kids some food. (Notice I didn't say vacuum or dust or anything even remotely related to cleaning?) My house looks like it's been lived in by grizzly bears. Smelly grizzly bears looking for food after hibernation.

Today was the second day of school and ordinarily I'd be ecstatic that the gang is back in school. In fact, I've been known to do a little happy dance of joy on my kitchen table the first day of school. What can I say - some moms meet up for coffee the first day, I dance on my kitchen table. So, usually, I'd be thrilled. Today, however my oldest daughter woke up and said she was too sick to go to school. It's the SECOND day! You can't pull that yet! Not until at least November! (Actually, she does have a sinus infection and an ear infection and I know she wasn't feeling too great.) My oldest son got ready for school like he usually does.
ME: Are your teeth brushed?
AJ: I don't remember.
ME: You don't remember if you brushed your teeth?
AJ: Today?
AJ: walking off to brush his teeth
ME: five minutes later Are you ready? Did you brush your teeth? Do you have your backpack? Got your lunch?
AJ: staring at the t.v. which should really never be on in the morning
ME: Hello?
AJ: What?
ME: Are you ready to go?
AJ: Yes.
ME: I look at his feet and notice he doesn't even have shoes on.
I give up. And of course, he forgot his lunch. IT'S THE SECOND DAY! :::sigh:::

Anyway, I got him to school, came home to get the other kids up and going. This is my six year old's first year of going to school all day. She, much like her mother, doesn't do mornings. She slept until 10:00 or 11:00 every day this summer. It's been fun getting her up the past two days. That kid can sleep! It's like she's coming out of anesthesia every morning. My nine year old, on the other hand, jumps out of bed before the sun and is wired for sound. This is my kiddo with ADHD. He takes medication so he can function in school. His teachers love him. And why wouldn't they? They get Dr. Jekyll. I'm left with a veritable Mr. Hyde in the morning before his medicine kicks in and in the evening after it wears off. Actually, he isn't so much like Mr. Hyde as he is like Robin Williams in his Mork days. No, that's not quite right either. More like Robin Williams on speed. Robin Williams in his Mork days on speed. And sugar. And caffeine. Lots and lots of caffeine.

If you're wondering, I've gotten several offers from publishers because of this auction. I've been emailed by people at C-Span, Nickelodeon, a radio station in Tampa, The St. Petersburg Times, Fox 19 Morning News, and several others. Someone asked me to do a podcast. I don't even know what a podcast is! I don't know what to do with all this so I think I'll run away and hide under a rock for a while.

Oh yes - I thought this was starting to die down a bit, but I just checked my stat counter and apparently I've had over 94,000 hits today. I just can't even conceive of a number that large.

OK it's time for me to go to bed and lay there awake all night freaking out about all this attention. Have a good one everyone!


Addendum: I've been corrected. Knott's Berry Farm is NOT, I repeat NOT in San Diego. Several insulted Californians pointed out my grievous error. :D

Also, a few of you said that you think you went to high school with me. You probably didn't, but that's ok. I always think I went to school with the people in those ads.

Someone just suggested I find a way to use this "fame" and add to my family's income. You have no idea how awesome that would be. Believe me. We live paycheck to paycheck and we're usually a month behind. Kids tend to do that. I don't have the slightest clue how to do this. Anyone? Anyone? Buehler?


Anonymous said...

i think everyone loves you cause it is real, and it is what we all want to say, but just can't for fear of not being perfect. My hero! Thanks for letting me be just a tad more sarcastic on my blog (on which you got a reference today).

From yet another mother of six...

Tandra said...

You NEED to go with a Publisher!! Think of the 6 kiddos that need to go to college!! hahaha
All the words have been said, but you are hysterically funny!! I would pay big bucks to see you in a comedy Concert!!

Oh!oh!oh!! Sign up for Last Comic Standing!! You'd kill 'em all!!!
Thanks for the hearty laughs youve given me!!

Vanessa said...

Yay! I just might be one of the first to comment on your blog today! lol Seriously, I have thoroughly enjoyed reading - I found it through a link in another site. Thank you for the laughs! I think my bladder gave up when I saw the picture of soap with the teeth marks in it. That was just too funny! I hope you don't mind that I put a link to your page on mine. :)

Enjoy all the attention, and may God continue to bless you. :)
Vanessa, another IL mom.

Anonymous said...

My friends and I have been following your instant fame for the past five days and it is SO FUN to see. You are just a mom like us and now look at you - an internet celebrity! I love your "Who me?! Ya'll are crazy but boy is this fun!" attitude.

I'm sure that somewhere in those 10,000 emails someone has told you this but you could really make this work for you. Who would want this to die down in a couple days? I would seriously consider finding a reputable business person who can help you navigate this. Think: manager.

I wouldn't know where to start either but I'd be spending more time finding out how I can extend this 15 minutes and help supplement my family's income with it and less time apologizing about not being able to answer 10,000 emails! LOL

I wish you the absolute best and I'm one of those daily hits. :)

Anonymous said...

It may be worth talking to an agent to get some advice.

(keeping it brief, you have tons to read!)

Anonymous said...

I am SO happy for you!!! I am a writer myself and I just am thrilled for you that you are getting offers like this! It's great! Congrats!

Melinda said...

Loved your auction, love your blog even more! Thank you, you have brightened up several of my days!

My mum had five kids, and I wish she had had your sense of humour!


Anonymous said...

My homeschooling wife of our three children sent me your Ebay auction link today. Evidently it was going around the home school loops she's in like wild-fire. For good reason, you're hysterical. It takes a lot for me to laugh out loud when reading emails anymore. Your story on the Ebay link had me smiling from beginning to end and laughing out loud. Your story reminds me of my own family but my childhood even more. I was the oldest of five boys and your supermarket account was dead on. I'll be reading your blog as often as possible from this point forward, which may be hard since I start back to school in Sept. as well as working full-time. But I'll be checkin' in for sure. Keep it up, you're the bomb!
Erik Zinckgraf
Egg Harbor Township, NJ

Anonymous said...

You really should do something with your talent. Best would be writing a book, so your fans -- read it from the screen FANS -- over here in Germany can participate too:-)

By the way in my parenting Internet forum a mother asked her husband to translate your whole auction text in German so the mothers who
don´t speak English can read it.

And by the way, I love your blog. Great that some things are the same all over the globe!

Author said...

It's quite easy to monetize your blog. I see you already have skyscraper ads. I hope they're generating some extra cash for you. You can also use Blogger to add AdSense. Go under your settings for more info. You can also sign up for affiliate programs! The possibilities are endless!

You can also have someone pay you to write blogs for them. =)

By the way, hello. I found you from Digg. Now I'm a subscriber. I'm a new father and your posts scare/amuse me to death.

Anonymous said...

Well Dawn, I'm just gonna be greedy and leave TWO messages! You have something that the majority of those people trying to get published do not have - an instant (worldwide!) fan base. I really do believe that a reputable publishing house would be very interested in a project from you. I agree, you need an agent. I'd find one quick (find a business person irl whom you trust and can help guide you).

busymommy said...

this is how you can make money.
1. take those offers you mentioned in your post.
2. Start a blog where you can sell your own ads on the blog. Ever heard of He makes millions just selling ads while blogging about celebrities. People will pay for ads on your blog because there is good traffic. Once you have that set up, You can use the help of someone to manage the content, but for the most part, you'll be doing the same thing, just bloggin.

Good luck!

bigwhitehat said...

Okay, I found you because some blog had a link to your auction.

I'm not a big mommy blog reader but you're funny. I'm putting you in my reader. When the crazy mega hits go away, I'll still be reading because you're funny.

Thanks for making me laugh.

Feel free to leave comments at Big White Hat anytime.

busymommy said...

after reading more comments, I really believe blogging with profit is the best way to make money for you. People love your blog, but you don't know how much they will love you for other things....

Sunny said...

WOW. Could you ever have imagined that the most horrifying thing a mother does (Translation:Taking children out into a public place where our parenting and spacing skills can and will be scrutinized)would win you so many adoring fans?
When we get asked (as we often do) if "THOSE are ALL ours" my husband usually responds, "Yes. The world is dangerously underpopulated and we're just trying to do our part."

Good Luck navigating the waves of instant fame! Any time you feel like hiding you can come play at my blog.

Chaim said...

I know you have heard this a million times, but you SERIOUSLY need to consider writing a book. I would buy it. Everyone would buy it. This stuff is simply amazing. The auction was great. This is great. I am not sure where you'd find the time, but if you (miraculously) have time to crank out that auction, and time to do this blog, at even a page or two a day you could have something great to work with in 6 months or less.

Reading your blog seems to be extremely trendy at the moment. In spite of this, I'm glad to now be one of the pack.

Anonymous said...

I like you because you are a stay-at-home mom, and you enjoy it (apparently). You are a great role model for women of America and the world.

alejandro said...

Hey!! I played Mortimer in Arsenic a few years ago!

Found your blog through digg.

Love your writing and honesty regarding your views on life.

Keep at it!

alejandro gutierrez

Anonymous said...

I would like to see you write an idiots guide to pregnancy and parenting.

Are you going to have another one BTW???

Anonymous said...

Money! Well, it is possible to make with your talent. But a more important job I see you doing and doing well is loving your kids. How can I tell? The way you talk about are so passionate about your kids in amongst the humor. Keep up the good work (loving your kids) and if you want to write...write. But always remember where your heart is.


Anonymous said...

For whatever it's worth, I read your ebay page and your blog and found myself laughing so hard I was in tears. You writing style and parenting sense of humor make me think of Erma Bombeck...high praise in my book. She was an incredible woman. Funny, earthy and unpretentious. Even your post about not knowing what to write next had me in Stitches. No pun intended. Well, maybe just a little one. :D I'm with the masses that think you should write a book or three. And I look forward to reading all of them.

Take care and God bless,

Georgina said...

This is also doing rounds on the scrapbooking circuit! I loved your listing was so well written and so true! You really have a talent and I for one will now be a regular visitor to your blog!! Congratulations on doing amazing things!!!

Georgina said...

This is also doing rounds on the scrapbooking circuit! I loved your listing was so well written and so true! You really have a talent and I for one will now be a regular visitor to your blog!! Congratulations on doing amazing things!!!

Anonymous said...

You had a similar auction in 2005 which generated more than 200,000 hits.
Clearly you're not a one hit wonder ...

Anonymous said...

Amused to no end. Thank you for sharing your 15 minutes of fame with us (is it still just 15 minutes in this information saturated, time-speeded-up-thanks to-instant-communication world?).

And I know u were busy as a one legged man in a butt kicking contest before all this started; don't feel obligated to visit my myspacy blog - I whine alot, am not a parent, and aren't nearly as funny as you are. ;)

But if ya wanna it's

The question I do have...did the final total = enough to cover the cereal? ;)



Kelly said...

wow im in the uk and just spat my coffee at pc screen whilst reading your ebay auction lol lol it was sooooo funny !!!!

the blog is cool too...adding you to my blog link now


Anonymous said...

Your story is great! I got it in an e-mail from a moms' group. I only have 2 boys and I can totally relate! My oldest, who is 6, has ODD and is what I call a "high needs" child, and seems like he's really 2 or 3 kids rolled into 1. How does mother nature do that to us? One child should equal one child. The baby is only about 10mos old so we'll see how that goes. He's what me and my hubby affectionately call "Plan B." As a side note, I wonder what happens to all those packages of poked meat. I know we've left several in our wake.

Anonymous said...

I love your sense of humour. I guess you would have gone mad without it. When it comes to income I know Blogspot(Google?) earns a lot on the ads connected to you blog because you get som many visitors. You should get a major share of that profit. If not, make a deal with some other blog provider.

Tom from Sweden

Terri B said...

I just wanted to say I admire you. Your honesty whilst refreshing is also a good giggle to see someone else referencing their day this way.

Huge Kudos to you!!!

Terri B said...

I just wanted to say I admire you. Your honesty whilst refreshing is also a good giggle to see someone else referencing their day this way.

Huge Kudos to you!!!

Sam said...

Talk about feeling like I'm jumping on the coat tales of fame here! LOL!

Found your blog from your ebay auction from a link someone sent me in an email from a friend of cousin's aunty on a forum I belong to third time removed...not all true but you get what I mean and I'm guessing that's how most people have happened upon this hilarity!

Making so many people laugh is a true gift ;o)

Anonymous said...

Not sure if you can do this on blogger, but if you're getting close to 100k hits a day, you can probably make some money off google's adsense.

Sam said...

Can I be greedy and have 2 posts as well? lol

I would like to nominate you for a blog award. You gave me my first (and no doubt loudest) laugh of the day.

Details on my blog ;o)

Anonymous said...

I found your link through a friend and I must tell you this: You scared me to death! LOL! I'm not married yet, but the idea of having kids are scary but funny at the same time too!

Love your blog. I think I'll keep coming back to read more of your funny posts. :D

*Hugs from Malaysia*

Melinda said...

Dawn, have a look at it has info on how to turn your blog into a book. You could get your kids to illustrate it and make it a family affair! Sell it via the blog....

Bobbi said...

I have three children of my own, and watch my best friends two children. your story was almost a day in the life!! I laughed so hard I did almost wet my pants--kids will do that to you!! This morning I was in the shower chuckling about it again! I shared it with my husband, and he laughed too.

I always say better laugh than cry!!

Beth said...

You have the humor of Dave Barry with the subject matter most people can relate to (parenthood)

Being the mom of 6 - I applaude you for your sense of humor. I swear that is what gets me through most days.

Mom to 6
Upstate NY

Anonymous said...

Concerning the question of using your writing to create an income. Until you get a book going - do a donation button. People will make a donation for the pleasure of reading your blog. (My husband has this idea that authors, music artists etc, should be paid in the way of tips rather than from purchases - ie you loved the book - throw them $50 - hated it? $2 - pay what its worth to you sort of thing.) Don't make it mandatory - but add the option and I promise people will utilize it.

Anonymous said...

Can olny say im really impressed of how u manage everyday with your kids, and ill loved the description for the auction on the pokemon cards.

And btw, you are some kind of a celebrity in sweden. :) A little advice, i think you should write a book of your best RL storys from your life and the blog.

Take care!


muppet said...

Thankyou. Just for being you and just for being awesome.

muppet said...

Thankyou - Just for being you and just for being awesome.

Call Me Crafty Al said...

I saw this movie on TV yesterday and it kinda reminded me of you. (well not notally)

It was about this lady in the 50's with 10 children and an alcoholic husband who helped support her family by writing jingles and winning contests.

I am NOT trying to imply your husband is an alcoholic, but what reminded me of you was the fact this lady had a wonderful writing ability and she had lots of kids.

Anyway, here is a link to the lady's daughter's website (it was a TRUE story):

Have a great day!

Anonymous said...

Maybe you could contact Dooce and see how she's done it.

Trish said...

I so wish I had found your blog sooner. You give me something to look foward to with my morning coffee as I casually ignore my children and attempt to pry my eyelids apart so that the world becomes more then just a blur. I could be fixing my children breakfast, but they really don't need my to supervise them while they put their pop-tarts into the toaster.

By the way, I am a thespian too. I still try to do one play a year as well. And boy does it get to be difficult with all these kids. You should write a play..and then my theater company that I am VP of could perform it. We couldn't pay you, we're poor. But it'd be great exposure!! LOL

Anonymous said...

I would pay you money! It would be so much cheaper than therapy! One of the first things I do in the morning is read your blog. I've had a severe case of the baby blues since my second child was born and your blog gets me on the right track for the day. Thank you thank you thank you!

Anonymous said...

I will be short and sweet. YOUR GREAT. Loved your ebay auction and love you blog even more!
Thanks for sharing your life with all of your readers!

Anonymous said...

hey dawn,
both me and my mom have read all your posts and have constantly checked your blog...
i just wanted to let u know that im 14 and have ADHD too. no not just ADD, i get the H just like ur kid, i take medication too, and i was diagnosed.. in 1st grade. i had charts, with smileys...(sp?) but i'm going into ninth grade and taking bio 1, Trig, and all advanced classes, so remember, your kid could be a genius, just a hyper genius... LIKE ME!! its really early, i start school in sept, (yay for PA) and i'm going into HS. (yes im FREAKING OUT!!!) and my best friend Dave Berenato (remember that name) is gone to a diff school. but we are KIT. now member that name because he wrote a book, (hes 14) and it'll be published before the end of the year. and I am his editor.. and partial illustrator, i'll send u the website when he has it up and running,but the book is called: Medlocks: THe Barathrum Evado Trophy.
yeah hes already written the 2nd one and i'm getting the 1st whole draft today.. (idrew the cover!! yaya!!!) mmks sorry for the long comment..

Andrea R said...

I'm yet anothe rwith the blog-for-money option. It'll pay faster than a book, that;s for sure.
I;d find a blog ad system that pays per *view* not per click. You;re getting a butt-ton of views, but if nobody is clicking you probably don;t get paid.

Damn, I wish I had a invite to send you. :-/ they pay per view, those are the ones perez Hilton makes the big bucks from. (I only make little bucks from them).

I actually know a lot about blogs and things, and run a few websites, so if you need any free advice, my email is probably attached to this comment somewhere.

(I have 4 kids, and *I'm* the ADD one, so I totally feel your pain...)

Alicia said...

I am one of the MANY moms you have made wet their pants. The brushing teeth comment ("Today?") again made me have a moment. It just must be something with the oldest child's brain.

Anonymous said...

its 830am. youve had almost 200,000 hits today.
O M G.

Anonymous said...

I found your blog through a link for your ebay auction!! I started reading your blog earlier this week and I could not stop!! You have taken the job of SAHM and really made it real and funny!!! I wish you much luck and success...please take this opportunity and run with it...

Vivian M said...

Get published. It's a start. If that takes off who knows where it would lead...your own sitcom? Staple proof lunchbox items? School clothing line? Your own personalized doll with accessories (additional kids and transportation optional).
Maybe companies would like you on commercials to sell their items? Or maybe you can replace Dear Abby as the new Q&A person on some big newspaper? Find an agent!!

Shari said...

You truly are a pleasure to read!

Genevieve said...

Thank you for being honest about being a mum. Leave the BS to the Mum's in that other world, you know, the imaginery one...Thank you for making me laugh, for letting me know that I'm not the only one and for saying it how you see it.

Cheers! I'll have one for ya!

Mum of Two (that's as far as my social experiment goes)
Gidgegannup, Western Australia

Anonymous said...

okay-so my best friend sent me the ebay listing.our husbands are both military and gone all the time.i have one who is adhd with brain damage and i think she's related to your mork-kid on speed.she wears a clown wig to the grocer.i also get strange looks and comments from people-did you know your child is wearing a clown wig????well,it is rainbow striped and 4 feet off of her head-it's sorta hard to miss.anyway,you gave me a huge laugh this for the one with the perfect kids-how boring that must be...if there wasn't something crazy going on here i'd be checking pulses or something:)

Anonymous said...

DAWN - that is so completely ACE to read how many people have found your blog.

GO GIRL GO - hope you completely make an absolute killing with ad listings etc and even if the crazy high numbers die down you'll still be in my blogroll and I'll still be reading!! And I would love to read anything you wrote - or even watch the movie. Who would play you though - now THERE is a big question!!!

Good luck with it all.

And Mork on speed is going to be my new favourite saying!!


Lee in Australia
(PS If you ever come to Australia I know you would be a bigger hit with all the mum's than Anthony from the Wiggles before he got married. And that is saying something!!! I am sure you would sell out the telstradome!)

Monnik said...

I grew up the oldest of six kids and I'm sure this is what my mom went through too. Your auction was great, and I love this blog!!

RoxC said...

I don't have any children by choice, and I usually get tired pretty soon about stories on them, but you girl are so funny that I cannot stop reading! I'm not even on E-Bay and I received a link to your ad which had me laughing out loud. I hope, really really hope that all these offers with publishers will crystalize and that soon you will have enough money to hire a maid... or two! Good luck.

Anonymous said...

Well i hand it to ya coping with all that - i am tearing my hair out with 1!!! Good luck for the future and i hope that great things happen for are going down a storm here in the UK and links to your ebay listing and blog are being circulated!! Vicki

Anonymous said...

If you're 29, and you've been changing diapers since 94, that means you started getting pregnant at 16.


Unknown said...

I've been reading you blog the past few are truly funny! I have subscribed to your blog! :)

Anonymous said...

If you ever get around to writing that book check out

They do on demand self publishing.

Shannon @ Gabi's World said...

Okay other than a book, maybe you can contact some of these late night talk shows who are willing to pay for your visit, and fly you to them. And magazines who are willing to pay you for your story. I am sure these will want you once they see your eBay auction and read your blog. The amount of hits your blog has suddenly grown to will definately be evidence for them that people will want to see you on their show or in their magazine. Get more paid ads for your blog, especially if they pay you to be there (forget the ones that give you a tiny amount per click). Your big time now girl. Yes, your blog will settle down some, but I really think you'll still have a huge following! You can always be like Roseanne Barr who went from Housewife to actress/talk, show host, etc... I heard about her story and she was alot like you!

Anonymous said...

You are the new up and coming Erma Bombeck!

Anonymous said...

My friend sent me your ebay link yesterday. I loved it, my 16 year old daughter loved it. After 28 years I quit smoking 12 days ago. So everyday I try to find something to help me through that day. You have now helped me through two.

Thank You,

Bucyrus, OH

My Flock Rocks! said...

Go with Wendy's advice...I was going to say the same thing but she said it all! I also added you to my blog here in good old Peoria Illinois! Good Luck! You're so funny!

Anonymous said...

Have you ever been to the blog ? She makes her family's income by blogging. She gets paid for the ads. That seems like the easy way to go....I mean you can keep on doing what you do, and just pimp out the sides of your page :)
You are freeken hilarious :)

Anonymous said...

You really could be the next Ermma Bombeck. You writings are reality. you really should think of sending some of you work to a publisher. To all of them! I think you would be pleasantly surprised. God Bless you as you have blessed me with a smile to start my day. Thank-You.

Anonymous said...

I shared your ebay ad about the pokemon cards with some of my friends on, well you were a hit! And I see you already post a blog, so why not come on over to gather and get paid to post! You earn points every time tou do stuff on gather and then can get gift cards with those! If you are interested come check it out. It is 100% FREE and there are a bunch of groups to support ppl who are trying to write books so if you are even kinda serious about doing a book, you might be able to find some ppl to help you here! Thanks, Julie
Heres the signup link!

If you do sign Please use the link so they will let me know you signed up and I can add you to my friends to read the interesting things you post!

Anonymous said...

Just wanna say hey from the North Georgia Mountains! You have a great sense of humor. And A great outlook on life.

Jennifer Swanepoel said...

Just wanted to say hello! I clicked my way over here from another blogger who saw your auction. Great stuff!

Anonymous said...

I think you are extremely funny. I am reading your blog everyday. Thanks for all the great laughs and seriously consider the offers you are being presented could make a mint with your talent!


Unknown said...

This is NOT dying down..not by a long shot. You are just a natural talent with an exceptional way with words. Scan down your list of messages and look for BIG NAMES like CNN or FOX NEWS. Answer those..and wait to see how much $$$$ they are willing to part with for an exlusive interview.Then wait for publisher offers to come in.
Best wishes.You are a guaranteed super-success story!

Anonymous said...

I have 8 kids. Ages 11 to 7 weeks. When I read your shopping expierience I couldn't believe it b/c it was like I was reading about my own trips to the grocery store! Do your kids wear heelis shoes too? Those can get you into trouble fast! I also always forget at least one essantial item, like toilet paper! We are in trouble then!
You rock!!!

Anonymous said...

found you through ebay!
sounds like doors are being opened for you to make some money off of this to bless your family!

Unknown said...

I hate to tell you but you could have had two and led a life of hell! Trust me! Love your stuff.

Anonymous said...

My husband's boss just passed along the link to your Ebay auction and, as "the baby" of a brood of six, I just had to come by to thank you for starting my day off with a snorting laugh. I have one brother (the oldest) and four sisters - or as we like to say "one boy and five more attempts for another boy" - and I am thankful every day that my parents didn't support the Trojan Corporation. I'm sure your kids will be too. :o)

Melissa H. said...

Heh heh. I can laugh because I can sympathize. My husband doesn't understand how I can get so frazzled when we go shopping or why I insist he comes along.

My brood is only 4, but there's talk of a 5th and possibly a 6th in the future. Mine are 10, 8, 5 and 2. I know what it means to have two carts in the grocery store and try to weed out all the extras.

I agree that you need Incontinence Warnings for those of us who have many children....give us time to run for the Poise pads!

I'm adding you to my Blogroll. Your eBay auction was a hoot to read! Have fun with the kiddos and try not to pull your hair out.

Oh, and on the homeschool thing: I tried with my older two for 3 years and about went nuts. Especially when we had errands to run during the "normal" school day and people give you dirty looks 'cause your kids are out of school...My boys start school next week! Just 4 more days of craziness....not that I'm counting or anything!

Anonymous said...

It must be a wonderful feeling to know you have made so many people smile! Have a hug from the UK :-)

Colleen said...

You're a great writer - sign up for PayPerPost and get paid to talk about websites and products. I've made $15,000 with them in a little over a year.

Anonymous said...

OK I have NO idea of have to make money from the web but when sharing some stories from your blog with my husband last night & the high # of hits you get he said "she needs her own domain so that after so many hits she makes money". I think in one of his college classes he had to buy a domain, create a page and see how well it did. They aren't expensive and you pay for an entire yeear at a time. If you want more of HIS input or help just reply here and I will have him contact you! Thanks for all the laughs!

nita said...

yay you!!! here is a link to james frey's agent. you might send an email to her directly. put 'MY BLOG IS GETTING 100K HITS A DAY' in the subject line. if one of her minions are NOT aware of you, heads should roll! your writing is great. it's tough to capture a moment and dialog the way you do so, get paid sister!

mostly, best of luck to you. i had one child cuz i can barely manage it. the fact that you're not face-down in a dogbowl of gin is highly impressive. highly impressive!

but i do recommend you go with a big agency and don't sign a thing (especially with a smaller one) until you have a lawyer look at it. you CAN take a giant contract to a good lawyer and make an agreement to pay him/her in the near future. if you have a lawyer friend you love/trust, talk to them about it. it would suck for you to get screwed in a deal. the good news is - you could write about it and we would all picket for you!!!!

best of luck and, again, yay you!

Anonymous said...

First time I've left a comment on a blog EVER. I'm the silent reader type, but I just wanted to chime in and say I've been following you since Digg showed you auction, and I'm glad to add you as part of my daily read. Good luck in whatever you decide to do, and yes, you should do SOMETHING!

Rocketgirl said...

Hi! ust found you and THANK YOU for the giggles!! Must admit, my favorite thing I've found so far was the "how many kids do you want - 2" answer:) I don't know HOW you manage it and still make me giggle, but I loves you for it!

Anonymous said...

U are truly a wonderful woman. I serously think u could stop world wars and conflict with your humour and light heartness!!! I have forward your blog and ebay details to the british press and tv companies cos i serously think if anyone deserves their "5 mins of fame" it should be u. Please please please never stop writing u are truly gifted and an amazing woman (who now will not fit through any door frame)

A british fan

LT said...

It's nice to just read a stay at home mom that still has a sense of humor, you make me laugh, even though I have a horrible headache right now and it's probably not a good idea to be in front of the computer and all that, but I just had to read some more of your posts.

You really have a way with words and hitting a core with most of the stay at home moms.. well I can't speak for all of them, but you definitely hit a core with me.

Anonymous said...

I've just stumbled across your blog (ok, it was because of the Ebay auction), and I think you're funny, down to earth, and a great mom.

I'll be reading, along with the rest of the internet apparently!

lawnajo said...

Your writing in ADDICTIVE. I put my kids to bed last night and sat up reading your blog until my husband threatened divorce if I didn't come to bed.
Write a book, I'll buy it.

Anonymous said...

Wow, that's wonderful you're getting so many offers. If I were you, and didn't really want to alter my life too much (except for the extra moola) I would probably just accept a little side-job that you can do from home. Write an article here and there, but for a company that PAYS!

Wish you the best!

CableMad said...

There's a book called _Writer Mama_ by Christine Katz that provides advice on selling your writing (agents, magazine submittals, book proposals, etc.). Your library might have a copy.

Seriously, consider doing this professionally. Think about it -- you just keep doing the same kind of writing you do now, only you get paid for it. Just make sure that all contracts are reviewed by someone you know and trust (who's good at financial/legal matters) before you sign anything.

(a technical freelance writer who envies your witty style)

GW said...

I don't have kids, but one of my friends has six girls, my husband is the youngest of six, and another friend was one of nine kids. The latter friend there is the one who sent me the link to your auction, which is how I found your blog. OMG, good stuff! Would you consider adding an RSS feed so people can subscribe with whatever reader they prefer? I use Google Reader to keep up on blogs and news feeds, myself.

:o) mg said...

As a fellow stay-at-home mom, (and IF you choose to do any of the abovementioned) I think that writing a book would be the thing that would cause the least disruption to your family. You could write after they went to sleep (in those few short hours you COULD be getting some shut-eye yourself). Ok, I say all this like you really give a rat's "arse" what my opinion is. LOL
Anyhoo, I wanted to mention that several of my friends who have kids with ADHD or ADD have tried a wheat free diet (like, right, what else with the buggers eat?) and have seen tremendous positive changes in their children. (read: kids are no longer repelling from the rooftops)
Just thought it was worth mentioning. :o) Hope you have a great third day of the kids being in school and I hope your daughter will be feeling better soon.

Anonymous said...

I? Love you! I only have 2 kids, but they're 15 and 8. I'm a single mom. My house can be an emotional circus sometimes, so I can only imagine the circus you've got going on there. Good luck to you... I hope you figure out what to do with those offers!

Anonymous said...

You are just delightful. I love how you want to respond to everyone and thank them.
I am also a mother of a large family (8 kids) and the thought of shopping with all of them gives me the heebie-jeebies. I have always left them all at home with their dad even if it means shopping at 11:00 p.m.
For the hundreds of dullards who can only parrot "Are they all yours" or "Don't you know what causes that" there have been a handful of gems that still sparkle in my memory.
My favorite comment in all my parenting years came when I was trying to shop with just my first two babies and I needed two carts because they didn't have fancy two-kid carts back then, an older gentleman remarked dryly, "Lady, you got more guts than sense." Mister, if you could see me now!! That has become my life's motto.
Another good one was when I was loading six gallons of milk in the car and another older gentleman quipped, "Now you're set for dinner but what about breakfast?"
I thought you were talking about the Target on Randall Road in Elgin IL and I was like, do I know her?? I live in Rockford now but we have family in St. Charles. I don't recognize you from your 80's high school pic but no one would recognize me from mine either!!
Good luck with the future success of your writing. I hope you don't feel pressured by the fame to become something/someone you are not. Just keep writing what you like and the people you have touched will keep reading!
God Bless,
Denise Klaske
Rockford IL

Anonymous said...

Brilliant! I'm glad you made a handsome profit on your auction. It was a really funny read, and today's post about school is spot-on too! We just finished an almost identical 2nd day of school here at our house as well, ADHD kid included! My wife did a happy dance on the table as well. Heck, I did one on my desk at work because I was so happy for my wife! I called the house during the day and commented to her how quiet it sounded there. All she said was, "YEEEESSSSSSSS!!!"

Paula said...

I think you answered your own question on how to get some extra income from all of this.

If people are contacting you...there's your in.

Get an agent before it's too late. You're hysterical stories are great! I know I'd buy a book you wrote. So get crackin' woman!


Anonymous said...

I too am one of the many daily readers. Soo much attention what is a girl to do? Really take to heart what ALL these folks are saying about you, seriously you got something here. Run with it, or atleast attempt a brisk walk. I know it would be worth it!! You are funny even w/out the mommy stuff. Though the mommy stuff is what everyone can relate to so well. You just rock, superhero mom!!

ps: The first day of school I have been known to rock out to some Wiggles while dancing on the coffee table is glass. Keep it up, don't see this slowing down!!

Kim said...

Think this will die down in a couple days, huh?! ROFLOL! No, I don't think a few days will do it--not if people keep mentioning you on their blogs (like I did today) or e-mailing a link to the auction or your blog to everyone they know. If you want to turn this into something, get in touch with some of the news media, etc., who have tried to contact you. The extra publicity may attract a literary agent if writing is something you'd like to do. Of course, if you have three eyes, 27 toes, or the BIG hair you had in high school, you might want to try radio media! LOL! Good luck to you!

dewitte said...

Ah, yes, the television. My son can't even think if it is on. Yay - you! I look forward to having one of your books on my coffee table one day.

Anonymous said...

I'm hooked and already subscribed to your feed. Your sarcasm and wit are really infectious! I don't think your numbers will be going back down anytime soon.

As for making money, um start offering ad space. I'm not sure how to do that with blogger though. google around for articles on making money with a blog.

Tanya said...

2nd day of school already??? How did you get so lucky???? My 8 year old doesn't start school until September 4th!!!!! She is driving me batty! Her 3 year old sister too! (by the way, I made a mental note to never get my 3 year old and your 3 year old together in the same room, they would end up taking over the world)

When you find the boot camp for your son, let me know, so I can enroll my daughter.

hjs000 said...

To answer your "how do I add to my family's income?" Refer to Julie Powell of Julie and Julia fame (she wrote a book after her blog became so incredibly popular).

Old blog:

New blog:

I think you can also get paid for the ads that run on your site. Google, I think, offers this service.

Anonymous said...

I love your blog, I only have three boys, so I have half of the inspiration you have. My blog is

I supplement my income by blogging for cash through Pay Per Post, but I think with your raw talent, book writing is a must!

Da Momma over at Motherhood is Not for Wimps has a book out, maybe you should email her for suggestions on finding a publisher?

Anonymous said...

Hey, read your post today. It all sounds so familiar. I only have 3 kids, all boys, but taking them to the grocery is hell on earth.
We have the wanderer, the whiner, and the grabber. The wanderer never stays with us, he is always in the row behind or ahead, and I am forever calling his name. I worry that someday he will be abducted, but I don't think they could get him out of the store in under an hour. He has to read everything.
The whiner complains the entire time. Why do I have to walk? Can I ride in the cart. We have been here for 4 days..No food, No water..Could you just let me lie down in the aisle, then come back for me. Right.
The grabber has thrown in flavored condoms, baby food, bacon flavored dog treats, and of course candy from every aisle, end cap, and check out.
I grocery shop alone. I am trying to hang on to my last shred of sanity. :-)

Anonymous said...

Our school year here doesn't start until Monday, but I already have one child going to miss part of the first day because of an appointment lol.

I do enjoy your blog, and please do keep blogging..

Anonymous said...

You totally made my day. I got the link to your auction through another blog that I read and I was laughing so hard I had to start reading all over. You are one funny lady and need to take advantage of that.
Thanks for your post about military wives. (I'm an Army wife) and hubby is deployed right now. Please keep us all in your prayers (especially the soldiers!)
God Bless you and good luck!

that girl said...

i'm totally linking to you on my blog. those pics of you as a kid? we're the same age - i have all those awful outfits (and haircuts) too!

good luck!

Anonymous said...

Love your stuff. Your conversation with your older son being ready for school and remembering if he brushed is teeth seems to happen at my house also. You would think the yucky feel of their teeth would give them a clue. Thank you for the wonderful laughs. It will help me thru the day.

MP said...

Why do boys have such an issue w/ brushing their teeth?

..get an agent..but don't let them get paid until YOU are getting paid. Or don't do anything, just blog away and keep ads on your site...

Anonymous said...

I have to agree with a couple of comments above... your writing style and story telling remind me of Erma Bombeck.

Go on ya!

1anonymousmom said...

hey girl, sounds like we are kindred spirits. i'm a mom of a 6 YO and a 7 YO, and i never get anything done, either. because a)i'm 45, and b) i just finished chemo.
the laundry in the washer and dryer? been there since monday.
i woke up at 6am Tuesday, and the first thot in my head was, "Hey! I can go grocery shopping by myself!"

Christi Flores said...

I got this from your ebay post which was posted on a blog by a friend of mine. Too funny! Congrats on your newfound famousness! I too am a writer and thoroughly enjoyed reading your blog and plan on checking it often. You're are so real which makes it all the more fun.

AdventurerMom said...

my mom likes your blog too! and you're all inspiring cause i've only been blogging for two months also...

AdventurerMom said...

according to wikipedia, robin williams was on cocaine during the mork and mindy years...

Elizabeth Gwen Originals said...

Hi! There is not much left to say, everyone seems to have done it already. I have three kiddos and am carrying number 4, so to see that you can still survive with 6 is very uplifting to me, lol. You are very funny and honest. Your blog is great!


Anonymous said...

Your sense of humor is FANTASTIC, and I believe us stay at home moms need to have one to keep our sanity. And I to keep most of my sense of humor from my husband for fear of less help if he knows how much I enjoy it.

As for house cleaning, I judge how the weather is outside by how big the hair tumble weeds are on my living room floor, (when its hot the dog sheds more), and laugh when I pass by the hay rolls on the farms near my home wondering if I could roll up mine and sell them.

I only have 3 kids, but they are the equivalent to 10, especially my 4 year old. She is like 5 kids herself. Did I mention that she calls every over weight person white or black "Big Mama" and tells everyone that has bad teeth that they should of brushed their teeth when they had the chance? I have considered selling that one, but I would spend the money to fast and would not have it to give a refund when she was returned.

And shopping ha, ha, I have been banned from many places including the vet and the one of the pediatricians offices. To think I have been considering having more. CRAZY!!!!

I love that you have received all of these comments because it gives me hope that so many people do relate to what we go through.

Your most inspirational comment to me is "The day's are long, but the years are short". No matter what they do our kids are growing way to fast for us.

Write the book.

Anonymous said...

Thank you! Love it! Every mom relates to you. I now shop at 11:30 at night. I know all the night clerks. It's so much easier. I have 4 children and watch three more in the summer. Please write a book! I would buy copies for everyone I know! Love your auction and blog. I had the auction link emailed to me and found your blog. Now I'm passing it on. SO FUNNY!

Esther said...

Dear Dawn,

Thank you for the best laughs I've had in about 2 years. I laughed so hard I cried, starting with your eBay auction story. Thank you! As I was reading the eBay ad & your blog, my kids kept asking me "what's so funny?" "What are you laughing at?"

me: a Blog, an eBay story

kids: an eBay story?

Kids come running. I told them they could look later.

Because I have to continue reading your blog. Because it's the funniest thing I've seen in yearSSSSS!

You are on my blogroll. And the eBay ad will be noted on my blog as well.

You deserve an award or salary for such great writing and my gratitude of thanks for women around the world for such a great way to start the day.

And I'd give you Miss Congeniality if you are ever in the Mrs. America contest.

By the way, I have a blog too if you have a chance to stop by after you finish reading 10,000+ emails. I have three boys plus two kids on the way via adoption. The two additional kids will join our family MONDAY! Our life is a circus.

You may enjoy my post yesterday where I ask everyone "how long do we have to supply team sport snack?" What do you think? Until they are 32yrs old? Sigh. My latest quandry is that my sons football team has 22 kids, and 8 football games. A lady sent out a signup for treats. Um, I think I won't respond until she hounds me. Not to mention, only 8 parents really need to sign up for treats, right?

Best wishes, Esther
ps...did you grow up near me because I think you stole my childhood wardrobe. The culots (sp?) were my favorite as a 2nd-3rd grader. And my grandma MADE them for me. Classy.

Anonymous said...

I read your description of your Pokemon card item at Ebay which led me to your blog.

I just want to say that you remind me of Erma Bombeck, my favorite author ever.
There will never be another Erma, but you may come close.
Good luck with that book though how you find the time to write anything, having six kids, tells me you should write a maunal first.

Esther said...

We also have 20 boxes of cereal at any given time. My husband hates this. Why do we all have so much cereal? I think I look at all the boxes and think I will make Rice Krispie Treats or something out of the Chex & Cheerios. Because the kids only want to eat the Cocoa Puffs.

No one has tried to eat the soap around here. That I know of. Although my middle son was about 12-14 months old and tried to eat POOP out of the toilet from a soaking cloth diaper. Did I just say cloth diaper? Yes, I did.

Regarding the 2 children we are adopting who will be a part of our family starting monday, the 2yr old is in diapers. We told our 12yr old this last night. His response:

"That's unfortunate."

Um, for him? Doubtful. I seriously doubt he will be changing any diapers.

I'm off to go get my cloth diapers & plastic pants out of the shed........

Liza on Maui said...

It's 5:23 AM here on Maui, Hawaii and I'm laughing my head off while seating in front of the computer reading this post! Your conversation with you son is a typical conversation we have here at home with my son.

I have added a link to your auction on my blog and I have told about on on the message board I participated in. You have been bringing laughter to our hearts and for that I would like to thank you very very much. God bless you my dear :)

Anonymous said...

I'm just pleased you posted your auction so I could add you to my blog list to read each day. Doesn't mean I read them each day. Just means that they're there.

And, somehow I messed up my blogger info, so I can't post comments like ordinary people. I must be Anonymous. Hah!

~Funky Kim in SLC

Anonymous said...

If you want to earn money blogging, drop over to my blog and let me know. Or better yet, drop by (which is not my site), register and start reading. Everyone there is making good money blogging.

Doc's Girl said...

I'd write Heather at Her blog became very popular and she was able to sell advertisements on her page and now her and her husband both have quit their jobs and stay home with their daughter. :) :)

Good luck!

Timothy Putnam said...

"I don't have the slightest clue how to do this. Anyone? Anyone? Buehler?"

Ask Dave Barry. (I'd tell you to ask Erma, but that might be a little harder)

Love your writing.. (and this attention isn't going to go away soon.)

House of Chang said...

Thanks for sharing your chaos! I have twin boys (13 months) and I am pretty sure that I'm reading about my future when I read your blog. As I told my friends, I think you may be the funniest person I've never met! Thanks again!


Holly said...

So I woke up this morning to my two year old climing into bed with me to read a book. She was sweet and cuddly so I figured this was the start of a good day. Then I opened my email and got the link to your auction. All I want to do is cry now. You see, I hate shopping with my daughter with a passsion. That is right, I only have one and it takes me like 3 hours to shop and that is going off of a list. You are probably wondering why I said it makes me want to cry, well I am pregnant with our second and I dread to shop already. It is too late to go back on having only one child. I have only 2 months to prepare myself to go out in public with 2 kids. I dont know how you do it... you must have some special powers.

p.s. to make some extra money you should list some of those 20 half eaten cereal boxes or some poked ground beef on ebay. You can make millions. While your at it throw in some dirty diapers. Take advantage of your new fame. 6 kids... you have earned all of it.

Jen said...

Ok, I'm going to add to your freaked-outed-ness. :) Your ebay auction had me rolling. The few blogposts had me rolling. The description of your ADHD son is an exact description of my ADHD son; Robin Williams is proof I will not leave my son in a ditch during a blizzard. Same thought with the Dr. Jekyll/Mr. we have the same child?
Lastly, GOOD FOR YOU! Take this current fame and run with it, babe! :) I'll keep reading; I need the laughs.

Anonymous said...


Are you on Facebook?

The Jones Family said...

I'd buy it too! So, in the words of another reader, GET CRACKING! I know, in your spare time, right?

Anonymous said...

I actually had a friend who has six kids claim to have written your auction. When you mentioned you were NOT a military family, I knew better.

You truly do make our day with your humor, and thanks for the thanks to those in the military, and a HUGE thanks for remembering those married to the military. We usually get forgotten.

I hope this takes you far in life. Few people know how valuable (in so many ways) a sense of humor really is. Some of us really need the uplift and you certainly did that.


Anonymous said...

You are amazing.. I feel like i live your life, seriously my kids do the same in the stores, etc, lol

I enjoy reading your blog and thank you for taking the time to write them. :)

T with Honey said...

Oh, the TV should never be on in the morning! We always get out the door 10 minutes later if the TV is on. Toddlers just have no ability to watch Elmo and eat breakfast at the same time.

As for getting $$ - maybe one of the parenting magazines can hire you as a blogger or editorialist?

Anonymous said...

Hey Dawn!
Well, I've been a fan for 3 days now! How beautiful is it that you were searching through want ads just a few days ago and now have endless possibilities on your horizon. Q: Which do you hate more, taking you kids to the grocery store or post office? A: Yes .....hahhahahahahaha
Thank you, as well, for helping kill any sex drive I have left! We have 1 2-year old boy, yes, just 1 and after reading your stories, I think this is where I'd like to stay! I grew up as one of four and remember taking trips to the store with mom. The feminine hygiene aisle was always our favorite. We could get away with yelling "Douche! Douche!" (ya know, sound effect) while taking punches at each other. Probably something Dad taught us...
Anyway, just keep doing what you're doing, be there for your family first, but please keep blogging everyday because it has become one of my must-read! you should also do a video blog on YouTube. I'm sure you'll get published, but if all else fails you can always publish your first book and sell it yourself on Ebay. The trick would be to only sell one at a time. Such high demand would definitely drive the price up! Also these guys are right about getting people to advertise on your blog.
God bless you! You deserve every bit of fame and opportunity you are being blessed with!

Laurie in Austin, TX

Unknown said...

advertising = cash money. oh hey, will you add me to your blogroll?

also, just so you know... is looking for bloggers who get over 50,000 monthly hits on their blog. i applied, but i haven't become famous yet, so they probably won't pick me. maybe it'll work for you.

Anonymous said...

Our family should be doing school right now but instead we're reading your ebay listings and blog entries. Does this count as language arts? LOL How awesome that you have been contacted by so many about publishing, tv, radio, etc. Maybe Oprah will get wind of this and have you all on there! That would be too cool! You are a gifted writer and a blessed mom. Give all your children extra hugs for giving you the material to write about. Maybe even let them sneak a candy bar into the cart from the checkout lane next time. hehehehe

Momily said...

I disagree with the writing a book thing; books are difficult and take lots of planning. A column, however... I think you could handle that; it'd be just like blogging, only you'd get paid for it!

On a more personal note, I've been reading back through your blog a little bit and I love it. I totally relate to the can-stand-anything-gross-except-vomit thing. Anybody even gags around me and my stomach flips over. But blood? puss? other gross stuff? I can handle it. :)

Anyway, I'll leave this short-ish since you have so many comments. I just wanted to let you know that I will definitely be back to read your blog in the future, even after all the hype dies down. That is, unless you do become a columnist, in which case, I'll read your column.

Mommy Brain said...

I'm so excited for you...laughing out loud!! I hope you don't let this chance pass you's time for YOU BABE! You have so many adoring SAHM's we'd back you all the way!

Lisa @ The Plain-Spoken Pen said...

Your 9-year-old sounds like my 5-year-old - up at the butt-crack of dawn, no matter how late he was awake. I asked his pediatrician if they made Ambien in pediatric strength. She laughed. I said, "I'm not kidding." LOLOL

Herry and Jayley said...

A friend of mine posted your e-bay link on her blog, so I took the opportunity to read it. It made me laugh-heartily. Kudos to you in overcoming all the stupid rules that English teachers imposed by saying "You can't write the way you speak." Although I do not know you-I can just hear an exasperated mother telling that story. I loved it. So thank you.

Michelle M. Nebel said...

I just found you - like so many others - through your eBay auction. It was passed around my Mommy & Me group, and you have some of these women totally wetting their pants with laughter. It's awesome to see that you're getting a ton of hits as a result - you're an awfully witty gal!

epiac1216 said...


Second day reading your blog. Great stuff to keep smiling all day long.

Seriously. Try writing a book. You have the talent, originality and passion to write about your kids.

I would buy your book now. I'm from Panama in Central America and you're better than Harry Potter.



mE said...

I love your blog! I'm not a mommy (yet, unless you count a furry 4 legged pooch), and I normally don't like "mommy" blogs... but your real life humor and stories really get me laughing. You should seriously save your blog posts and start compiling them for a book.

Inky Smiles!

Anonymous said...

Hi, amazingly I read your "grocery store" story in a bulletin on Myspace. It was very funny, and very real. I have 3 kids and they are all named after natural disasters, the 11 yr old is Tornado, cause he always seems to have some sort of a mess behind when he spins through the rooms of the house, 6 yr old Hurricane, cause shes full of all this air and cries all the time, and the 2 yr old used to be Sunshine, but Ive changed her name to Earhquake, cause everywhere she goes now,theres destruction of some sort. And then my husband, "ND", the head and cause of all the natural disasters in our life. I won't go to the store with any of them anymore, well I take that back, we had to go to Toysrus cause my 6 yr olds bday (member I said I dont go to the stores, well I don't, even for b-days, but I should have) all my kids, including the husband kid (I dont think any of them grow up, men that is)we were there for 4 hours and while I was being serious about finding a bike that didn't hurt my 6 yr olds "cookie" (yes, she referenced that word a least 50 times, very loudly)the "natural disasters" were running around destroying the Toysrus. Yeah it was great..hack hack!! Headache that reqiured stock in advil, and ears that didn't stop ringing until the next day. Im never doing that again. (well until my 2 yr olds b-day next week) but I can truelly relate to life with kids. Its like that saying "Cant live with them, cant live without them" I'll bet a mother created that quote..Anyways, not to take any of your spotlight, I thought I would offer you alittle laugh too, and let you know that its just great that their are moms like you with humor out there!! Thanks for the grocery store story, Im sure your really going to appreciate this fact but, I re-posted the bulletin on Myspace, as everytime it gets posted and re-posted the whole world might eventually read the "ebay auction story". Im sorry for drawing more time out of your day with 6 kids and relax time (haha, relax time, I know), but your story is awesome and it might touch the most "stressed" mom, or the mom who "wants to throw in the towel", or the "new" mom, or just someone like me, the "seasoned" mom. So I say THANK YOU!! on my behalf, for giving me something to laugh about today. Now I feel like I can accomplish cleaning my house, wait did I say that, maybe I'll just read more of your stories..hehe..besides cleaning makes me mad, and who really wants a mad mom around, they want happy mom, so yeah, Ill just read more of your blogs!!!
P.S Your a great mom!!
Rachal in AZ

Anonymous said...

Hey Dawn,
We keep telling you, you see the thousands of responses, come on woman. I have no ones blog updates but yours, what does that say! WE LOVE YOUR HUMOR. I will be checking you out when you update. You have a God given talent..Hugs

Anonymous said...

OMG you absolutely crack me up! I can go from sad crying to hysterically laughing crying just from reading 1 of your posts! My 10yo thinks my last brain cells have put themselves out of their misery! Thank you so much for sharing your blunt honesty and wonderful personality!

Anonymous said...

Hi -
I know absolutely nothing about books except that I love to read them and I love funny stuff. You remind me a lot of Erma Bombeck. I would think you could practically take your blogs and turn them into a book when you have enough of them. A good editor could probably help.

I SO get your sense of humor - the Buehler thing, the Princess Bride - I won't watch serious movies either. I don't even like totally serious books (do you like Janet Evanovich? I noticed you mentioned a writing book by her. I think she's pretty funny. Anyway, I don't know why I asked you a question since you won't have time to answer!!

Good luck - I hope you become one of those fabulous success stories we all dream about.

BTW, I am 16 wks. preggers w/our first child. Your stories are scaring me a little bit. Ha ha ha!!

bob chaney said...

Hello Dawn .. I am sure that someone has suggested this, but just in case they haven't .. You have a great story to write invloving this whole phenomenon connect with your dBay ad .. including samples from all those email you have received .. I have received that many emails in 12 years I've had email addresses. You do have a talent .. keep up the good work .. on all fronts!

Bob Chaney

Anonymous said...

Quite a few people have suggested that you move to a web domain where you can generate revenue from ads, which is a great idea - if you register a domain, I think it's like $9 or so a month, and you can use the WordPress platform to put up a simple and easy site (in fact, I bet if you asked, one of your new readers would be willing to do it for you - it's really pretty simple).

The other thing you might consider would be starting a weekly/monthly column in your local newspaper or a parenting magazine. That would be more stable income, and you could even still do the above idea in conjunction!

Meg McCormick said...

How about marketing a newspaper column or online chat, maybe advice for parents? Kind of like what Carolyn Hax does, via the, except the focus would be on parenting instead of relationships. I bet it would be well-received!

Unknown said...

you can make money from your site by selling advertisements that you post on it--- could be annoying, but seeing all the hits you've been getting, who wouldnt want to post an ad here?!

Unknown said...

another way you could make money, sell a newsletter ("real" paper one or online one to all these people desperate to hear your stories!)

Anonymous said...

Hi! I just found your site yesterday through a friend on yahoo 360 (another blog site). He was cracking up about your ebay post and after reading it, I subscribed to your blog.

It makes me happy to know that you are the mother of 6 children and you still keep a positive attitude despite feeling a day late and a dollar short with money...or a month late and lots of dollars short...LOL!

Your positive attitude gives me hope for myself. While I only have two children and a full time stepdaugter, I still feel frazzled, pulled in 16 different directions and I am ALWAYS broke. Sometimes I feel desperately alone and like I wasn't cut out for the job of being a mother...but I still wouldn't change a minute of it.

You carry so much on your shoulders and yet, you stay so positive.

Kudos to you!

Stockbridge, MI

studiocharm said...

Too funny. I too echo the sentiments of many of the other posters . . . your witty & real humor reads like a great conversation on the phone with a great friend. Therapeutic. Makes one laugh with tears in the eyes. Today I was feeling a little overwhelmed with my most important job-being a mom. Thanks for a booster shot in the arm to remind me to find the humor every day.

Anonymous said...

You are so funny! I bet that you and your gang have a great time together - you are the mom that voices what we are all thinking! I've never read a blog before but after I read your ebay ad (from my scrapbooking website) I subscribed. I can't wait to read more about your day to day! It is so "mine" that I just like to hear that someone else is out there hanging by a thread like me! Haha. You are great - I hope that you get a monetary benny from all this! Amy, San Diego, CA

Anonymous said...

Ok, extra money, maybe a syndicated column for a magazine or paper. You are great! You really should submit something.

I'm so glad that I found your column because you make me smile and laugh and everyone needs to do those things. I think it is so great that you can see the humor in everyday things that send most of us over the edge! Maybe I should try to do that, like how my 2yo can jump out of the bed for donuts, but every other morning I'm dragging her little hiney to the car after a boiled egg, whole wheat toast, and a banana. Of course, who am I kidding? I was running to the car for that donut too!

No need to respond, obviously, I left no contact info!


Unknown said...

Well I just think you're awesome. That's really all I have to say, though I really wanted to leave you a clever comment. It's not in the stars for today :(
I'm so glad someone linked me to your auction, now I have a new blog to read while I should be working! :)

Suzann said...

You have made me laugh and smile, which is no small feat this week. My youngest went to first grade this week and left me all alone. But, after reading your e-bay auction and now your blog I cannot believe that you went to FREMD! I went to Schaumburg High School which would imply that in a round about way we are nearby neighbors (of sorts). Now, why can't you live in my neighborhood?? I need someone like you in my life day to day. Thanks for the smiles.

Anonymous said...

When my kids were little (they're 19, 21, 23, and 25 now) two funny moms got together and co-wrote "The Mother's Almanac." It was parenting given from the vantage point of ongoing experience, and it was both hysterically funny and very comforting to know that someone had just been where I was at that point and was laughing about it. The world so much needs another book like that now. Believe me, I will have my Amazon pre-order in the moment you announce your title. You're good!

Cristy said...

I LOVE IT! You're hilarious and real, which is what I'm trying to do on my blog too! I get so tired of reading about Moms who talk about all the cutsie cool things they found on line and how perfect all their little girls look in their dresses... BORING! What's the real story?! Adding you to my blog list. Love it.

Anonymous said...

This is a blog I read occasionally. They pay this woman to write it. Maybe you can find a sight like this?

Good luck, we know what it's like to live pay check to pay check and it's always nice to see other people come across a stroke of luck and find success.

If you do manage to do something really cool with this and it pays you should at least take your kids out for ice cream.

ArcticAngel said...

i haven't read all 159 comments to see if someone suggested this or not but have you ever thought of doing paid blogging? some other blogs i read do it and love it. i don't know the ins and outs but a popular one is linkworth and payperpost there is a lot of info at electricvenom she is a sahm and contributes to her family income by doing paid blogs. she has like 4 or 5! she is pretty funny too. also sarahk at mountaineermusings does some paid blogging and has info on her site too. with all the hits on your blog it would be a way to earn some $$$ without adding the hassle (and expense) of finding childcare so you can go to a 9-5. i've added you to my blog page...hope that is okay...God bless you in the first days of school (i just got a call from my daughters school...tummy ache ITS ONLY THE 3RD DAY!!!!!)Blessings! arcticangel

Unknown said...

I'm sure I'll get lost in the shuffle BUT YOU'RE LOCAL! I belong to a group called PALATINE MOMS and we have a mom with 5 under 3 and if you ever want to be a part of the group, please let me know... like you have time I'm sure, but with a group of 100+ moms, I have 2 words for you... FREE BABYSITTING!

Jody W. and Meankitty said...

I nth the advice, if you decide to look into book publishing, to do it via an agent. Whose contract you ALSO need to be careful with! I'm sure you've gotten many offers and advice in the outpouring, but if you want to talk shop, I'm an agented fiction writer and mom of 2 :)

And, incidentally, I'm so glad you posted that auction and introduced yourself to all of us! Love the blog!

Jody W.

The Prairie Jeweler said...

You never dissapoint! As I read your blog all i can do is chuckle and nod because I live this life too! Thank you for using your talent to make the rest of us worn out mothers feel like we're not alone in the insanity of our kids lives (yeah its not our life anymore... they took over)
Wish you could watch my life for a day to narrate it... its totally laughworthy.. i just dont have your talent for words!
Enjoy the "fame" and let us know when you hit the big time! Hey... maybe you could hire a nanny!!!

The Prairie Jeweler said...

nevermind... we dont want you to have a nanny.... we like hearing about the insanity!

Anonymous said...

It's got to be kind of annoying to receive tons of e-mails everyday from people who think they know what you should do with your wonderful sense of humor. So, I want to take some of the pressure off and say, "Do what makes you happy!" You brighten my day considerably everytime I read your blogs! To be honest I am worried that you won't have time to be here if you write a book or whatever! So, please don't leave me!

MJAZ said...

You really should consider taking up one of those publisher offers! You help to ease the mind of so many mothers, myself included with the humor and reality of what you write. I'm a mom of three and I can't imagine your daily warzone with six. Good luck and Godspeed!

Anonymous said...

I can't remember how I found your ebay listing...but I am so thankful I did. You are so very funny and I truly believe you could make some money with your talent. I would LOVE to see you and your kids on OPRAH, we should all write into and tell her about you! Keep up the good work.--Sue
Manitoba, Canada

Anonymous said...

Like others have said, we love you so much becasue your real, no hiding, no faking, just a real mom with real kids and a goo sence of humor and "wordage", i think you should write a book, i'd buy it for every mom i know!!

Hope Grace said...

Thank you for the laughs!
I have six children, also. I love it, too. I know you do because you are so funny (and we all know that it takes a sense of humor to have 6!)
I'm going to pray that you definitely find a way to make some money from this! Congratulations on your new found fame! Hmmm....wonder how you could use that in your theater productions?

Anonymous said...

OK, for money making, think about writing a newspaper column. I suggest taking your four best blogs and modifying them for newpaper format (a library book could probably give you the specs). Then send them off to your local newspaper (make sure you tell them about your already-established reader base). If you get a few, you only write once and get paid multiple times.

I'd also suggest you check out info on Amy Dacyczyn. She wrote _The Tightwad Gazette_ and a couple other books. She's a mom who had a passion for something and wrote newsletters that eventually got published in book form. I bet you could even email her for some advise. :) Read her books too (in your spare time), they have great ways to stretch your money!

How about you establish your family as non-profit and have all you readers donate a dollar to your cause? :D

Wildsissy said...

HA HA YOU WENT TO FREMD? I went to Palatine! Class of '94! My sister was class of '90 and went to Fremd up until her Sophmore year so we know tons of people from both sides of Palatine! Funny you mentioned the Target on Randall in Algonquin! I was really curious if you were from the area! lol!

Queen Talia said...

Hahahhahah I love Arsenic and Old Lace. Besides that: I first heard of you, what, yesterday? And somehow I already have zero doubts that you will ever fail to brighten my day.

**Mama*Said*Quit** said...

Just thought I'd let you know... you made national news. I heard all about you on the radio this morning... of course, I had already read the ebay post, and had visited your blog, but get ready for some more hits!

Anonymous said...

Just an idea to avoid the morning craziness. Go to the website
It's a great product created by a mom of 6. Basically you put a CD on in the morning and between songs it instructs the kids as to what task to do next. There's a CD for the evening as well. The CD's come with a chart, they earn points, then earn a date with mom or dad. It's worked for us big time. I'm not selling it or anything -- just passing on something useful that's worked for us! Love your writing!

Anonymous said...

I just have to say your writing is fantastic, and I had to laugh...I probably did got o high school with you since I graduated Fremd in 97! Anyway, your auction made me downright laugh and your blog is just as amazing. I hope to see you get published someday.

Anonymous said...

Honestly, get an agent/manager NOW, this is a great opportunity and may not last that long. You don’t have to make any decisions right away but you should at least start looking at the offers with someone who knows contracts. You could have a good chance to make some decent money and it sounds like you could really use it. If you are not sure how to find an agent you might ask around your friends. Even a good contracts lawyer who you can trust would be a start. (yea, that seems like a contradiction but there are some of them out there who are honest, they are the ones wearing older suits and shoes that are not reflective).

Best of luck and thanks again for so many great laughs!

Mary Kay Liquidator & Consigner said...

Congratulations on your ebay-imposed fame. LOL

Anonymous said...

Oh, god, I've been laugning until tears fill my eyes. You ARE good.

I have four kids myself, now aged 14 thru 25. My 'Spaz' is now 23. I called all my friends when he turned 18 to exclaim that we made it without him killing himself or my killing him! Sounds like we have something in common there. You'll make it, I'm sure. And as your friends said, it doesn't get much better (don't ask me about his passion for motorcycles and skydiving), but at least it doesn't involve me on a daily basis anymore.

I always wanted a big family, but stopped at four. See, my kids are more spread out than yours and when my last was born, my first was entering puberty. At that point I finally figured out that when you have your own, you have to KEEP them through the teens and beyond. So I stopped having my own and returned to 'borrowing' other people's babies in the form of doing part time childcare for one infant at a time. Every few years I get to trade one in for a new model.

Keep writing, and I hope you do write that book.

Lori in CA

Breezie said...

you need to take your blogging to placing such as and

Your writing is some of the best that I have seen out there, your style is unique and your sense of humor is truly amazing, what you have seen here the past few days is just the type of the iceberg.

Mrs. Santos said...

GET AN AGENT! I REPEAT... GET AN AGENT!!! If you're looking to cash in on this wave of popularity, let someone else do all the legwork of finding you "gigs" through publishers and radio spots and whatever else can be lined up for you. WHY NOT?! If they take 10% - whoop-de-doodle. That's 90% more money than you would have made before your stars aligned with this whole thing. I can't imagine what it would be like NOT to have to live paycheck to paycheck, but you are in the position to strike while the iron is HOT. I don't know if "talent agents" merely list themselves in the yellow pages, but hunt one done and tell them to make you some do-re-mi!! You rock, Dawn! :)

Anonymous said...

Ha! Your morning conversation with your 12 y.o. sounds sooo familiar! I have a 14 y.o. that has ADCLEMD-attention deficit complete lack of energy or motivation disorder. I think, that even if his butt was on fire it wouldn't motivate him! School's a joy with him not giving a flip!
Anyhow, just had to smile at that one!


Nikki said...

I found your blog from Digg a few days ago and I have since read it all. Thanks for all the laughs (and the pictures, I LOVE the pictures!!).

My boyfriend of 7 years never wants kids and never wants to be married (Yay, Libertarian "extremists") so it's nice to read something funny, witty and sweet about a family. These are things I'll never experience and reading your blog makes me enjoy experiencing them second hand instead! :P
Maybe the boyfriend has the right idea. I don't think I would *ever* have the energy to go through what you go through every day.
So kudos to you for finding teh time to care for all your little ones and still keep people entertained and laughing!


Mama Kautz said...

I LIVE with the SAME ADHD'r I can so relate thanks for the laughs YOU ROCK let me know when the 1st book is published

Anonymous said...

Put a Paypal donation button on your side bar!!!! I know I'd kick in a few bucks for this hilarious writing! Just go set up a Paypal account and put a "donations" button on your sidebar... I'm sure someone can tell you how.

Good luck and God bless and ENJOY those babies and THANKS for making me laugh out loud, a bunch!!!!

Trish Berg said...

You are on one amazing ride here. Make sure to take time to enjoy it. You are touching people and encouraging them through your incredible writing all around the world!

God has opened this door for you,a nd I for one, can;t wait to see shere He takes you!


Trish Berg
Mom, Author, and most days, Sanity Seeker!

Anonymous said...

my son is 6 and also has ADHD and a mood disorder. i would totally agree that before the meds start working and after they wear off that my son is robin williams as mork on speed on sugar and on caffine.

Anonymous said...

Most of us struggle to find our God given talent and actually use it. You have found yours and have blessed so many people all over the world.
Continue making us all laugh (especially us stay at home moms) and receive some of the blessing in return by finding someone credible to help you prosper financially. You have such a fanbase! We all have fallen in love w/ you and your beautiful family.

Anonymous said...

How to cash in? Just publish your blog posts! Did you keep a diary before you started blogging? If so, I bet you could just hand a publisher some of your daily entries and your blog posts, and they could turn it into a book that we would all love to read...

Anonymous said...

I think wev'e found the next Erma Bombeck. Thanks for keeping us laughing. MaggieA Ont. Can.

Dani said...

I'm pretty sure our kids are somehow related (distant cousins? Twin stolen from the hospital while I was drugged?). My 8 year old is like a very grumpy rabid bear in the morning (EVERY morning) and my 9-almost-10 year old acts as if the morning is the BEST time to practice speaking to the hard-of-hearing (it's very loud and very repetitive).

We have had the same discussion with our oldest about being ready for school. Are yous SURE you are not watching through hidden camera? One day, he actually GOT IN THE CAR without shoes to go to school. he also was minus his backpack. I'm amazed he's lived this long. I have visions of him losing a car when he's 16 or forgetting where he lives.

Anonymous said...

Oh my goodness, how I NEEDED this laugh! I am the oldest of 6 kids my mother raised, so I can relate to the wonderful chaos that takes place in a household of that size. It was just a month ago that our youngest ended his life, and the family left feeling the deep pain. Your ebay comments and this blog had me roaring. (By the way, it has been forwarded to my mother.) It will be part of my frequent reading as well....

Barbara said...

I enjoy reading your comments and blog.. It had me laughing out loud with people coming to check to make sure I have not went off the deep end. Continue the writing and I will make sure I put your blog in my favorites so i can keep up with it.

Thanks for the laugh and

Anonymous said...

The auction still lives! I just got another email from a friend with the link to the ended auction! It'll be funny to see if it ever ends up on Snopes or Hoaxbusters... "yes, this was a real auction and this really DID happen."

Congrats on your great success!

Anonymous said...

I totally relate to your life. I love reading about someone else who must be telling the kids to get off the top of the piano, leave the light on so I can see and trying to keep the babies fingers off the keyboard while you type. I have ten that I homeschool (actually only 6 are in school, 4 are preschoolers) so the entire day is spent trying to get something, ANYthing, accomplished before I fall asleep while ironing my husbands shirt for work tomorrow. Anyone know which pile the ironing board might be under?

Jody said...

You need to contact Federated Media. They are an online advertising agency. You put the ads up in your sidebar and the advertisers pay something like $20 per 2000 page impressions. You do the math.

You have the hit count to qualify for the ads. I think the url is federatedmedia dot net.

I would love to have the ads, but my hit count is not high enough.

Get on it while your hit count is insane.

Jennifer said...

A Mom to 3 year old triplets here, just chiming in my congrats!

Call me ISHKABIBBLE (It's Faux Yiddish for: "I Should Worry") said...

Love your blog!

Actually, I've just today begun what can only be referred to as "blogger boot camp," whereby I meet with an adviser for an hour every week for six weeks, and learn how to maximize my blog's earning potential. In your abundant free time (heh!) if you want, you can get in touch with They're in St. Louis.

I think you're doing great!

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