Thursday, May 29, 2008

Quiz Time

A crocodile pillow was found...
A. on Clayton's bed
B. shoved behind the couch and the wall
C. in the backyard
D. in the refrigerator

A toy rocket ship was found...
A. in the mailbox
B. in the box of cars and trucks
C. in the backyard
D. in the beef stew we had for dinner

A ball of Play-dough was found...
A. in the toilet
B. in the Play-dough box
C. in the backyard
D. in Lexi's bed

An empty Pringles container was found...
A. in the garbage can
B. in the bathtub
C. in the backyard
D. on the bookshelf

A pair of shoes were found...
A. in the closet
B. on Austin's head
C. in the backyard
D. in the dishwasher

Some doll clothes were found...
A. in the box of doll things
B. In my shoe
C. in the backyard
D. in Joe's car

Half a plastic Easter egg was found...
A. in Brooklyn's diaper
B. in the box of Easter decorations
C. in the backyard
D. in some pasta salad

Three baseball mitts were found...
A. under the couch
B. in the microwave
C. in the backyard
D. in the kids' baseball bags

If you answered C to all of the above, you are correct. Although, I have to admit if you guessed any of the other choices, you're probably right about those too. I also found a plastic turtle, a toy hairbrush, a toy spatula, a dozen plastic spoons, a bat, a piece from an Oreo cookie games, 2 cups, 1 flip flop, a squirt gun, a Hippity Hop, 2 empty containers of Play-Dough, a model airplane, a sweater, a couple dozen whiffle balls, an empty Coke bottle, a dried piece of cheese, a Tupperware container, and half a moldy apple. This is what happens at my house if we fail to remind the kids to pick up their stuff 5 or 6 times before calling them inside for dinner.

All we need now are some car parts, a broken toilet, and a couple old appliances.

Yes, we now live in the Everglades.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Lots to Say

Lots to say. What are the chances I'll remember everything?

1. Check out my latest review on the HP Photo Center HERE!

2. I went for another mammo yesterday. The technician took 3 pictures. I'll admit that these were more painful because she just took pictures of a particular spot and she used a paddle the size of a coffee cup to smash compress my boob. Still, in the whole scheme of things, it wasn't that bad. I mean, the compression only lasts for a few seconds. Labor is WAY more painful. So are kidney stones. So is strep throat. So are toothaches. So are headaches. So is stubbing your toe on the stupid couch.

So, I sat down and thumbed through the December issue of Ladie's Home Journal. I read all about the Mccaughey septuplets turning 10 (Remember them? It seems like they were just born last year!) She returned to the room and informed me that they needed a couple more pictures. These were even more fun. I can't remember what she called them - "roll something or other", but what she did was take the skin on the top and pull it one way, while pulling the skin on the bottom the opposite way. Yeah, that was fun. Still, I'm telling ya, papercuts hurt more. So does burning yourself with a curling iron. So is getting elbowed in the nose by your two year old in the middle of the night.

Click, click. She disappeared again while I thumbed through the magazine some more. I learned how to decorate my home in festive ways for the holidays and some terrific Christmas gift ideas(which will come in handy SEVEN months from now!) Anyway, after I'd read the magazine cover to cover, she came back and told me that she needed just one more picture. Click.

When she returned after my third photo session, she broke the news that they were still unsure of the spot and wanted me to get an ultrasound. Sure thing! Too few people have seen my boobs today. Bring it on!

The technician did the ultrasound and told me she'd be right back. Ten minutes went by and as I lay there, I thought, "Hmmm this is strange. I should be freaking out right about now, shouldn't I? I could have something very wrong with me. This could be serious. I should be worrying like crazy, right?" But I wasn't. I was absolutely calm. I thank God for the total peace I felt while waiting. And I also thank God that everything is fine and dandy. Can I get an "Amen"?

3. Jax got his cast on this afternoon. Get this - it's waterproof! When some people wrote a comment on my blog telling me that I should get a waterproof cast for him, I thought it meant a cast that was water resistant and wouldn't deteriorate if a little water splashed on it. Nope. It's totally waterproof. I mean - submersible! He can shower and swim with this thing! Whoever invented this was a genius! And he only needs to keep it on for 3 to 4 weeks! Wow, things have sure changed since our last broken bone. Of course, Jackson has discovered that his cast is really hard and makes a nice tool of destruction. Ugh

Doesn't that white, waterproof stuff look weird?

4. Jackson has Vitiligo. His spots have more than doubled in size since last year. I don't know if I have any readers here who have this, but I thought I'd include a link to Vitiligo Support International's 2008 National Conference in San Antonio.

5. One of my readers brought THIS to my attention. I had no idea about it until she gave me a head's up. Thanks Wendy!

6. And last, but not least, I was totally honored to be invited to speak at the BlogHer conference in San Francisco this July! If you haven't registered to go, it's not too late. In fact, you can go HERE to enter for a free ride to the conference! What could be better than going to BlogHer? Going with free registration, airfare and hotel, of course! Rago has a contest that ends May 30. You just leave a comment for that one. There's another contest where you can nominate your favorite Blogging hero who inspires you. That contest ends May 31. SO GET ON IT and I'll see you there!

6 1/2. Oh great. I just lost another filling as I was writing this! Serves me right for munching on cereal when I should have been eating something healthier and lower cal like water. Now I have 2 broken teeth that need fixing. Ugh. Will it never end?

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

But I STILL Don't Wanna Play Tag

Domestic Spaz tagged me for a meme (still have no clue what that means) like two weeks ago and because I'm so organized and prompt, I'm getting to it tonight. Or maybe it's because I can't think of anything else to write....

Favorite person (outside family)? Sarah, Beth, Crystal Jackie, Jenny

Favorite food? Yes

Quirks about you? I don't do vomit, I hate the sound of styrofoam, I hate shoes, I'm apparently obsessed with the word "meme", I have enough bath/shower products to open my own Bath & Body Works, and I always step on the scale at least 3 times in a row just in case the number was wrong and I really weigh 20 pounds less than the first two readings because I'm insane.

How would the person who loves you most describe you in ten words or less? Mommy, you nice. I love you.

Any regrets in life? Yep

Favorite Charity/ Cause? Pediatric cancer

Favorite Blog recently? Ugh, I really don't have a favorite because I rarely find time to read them. :(

Something you can’t get enough of? chocolate, time away from the kids, time with Joe, sleep.

Worst job you’ve ever had? mother Hmmm, I don't think I've had any bad jobs. Or maybe I've just blocked them from my memory.

What job would you pay NOT to have? I wouldn't pay money to NOT have a job. I just wouldn't apply for a job I didn't want. Duh.

If you could be a fly on the wall, where? Ewww, I wouldn't want to be an insect anywhere.

Favorite Bible verse right now? Psalm 127: 3-5 Behold, children are a gift of the LORD. The fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one's youth. How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them; they will not be ashamed when they speak with their enemies in the gate.

Guilty Pleasure? Pogo. It's awful. I log on to play a hand of canasta and a half an hour later, I'm still playing. I've got to block myself from accessing it.

Got any confessions? Yes, but you'll have to call my 900 number to hear them.

If you HAD to spend $1,000 on YOURSELF, how would you spend it? Vacation

Favorite thing about your house? the fact that I have one

Least favorite thing about your house? size

One thing you are bad at? math

One thing you’re good at? making cakes

If you could change something about your circumstances, what? weight

Who would you like to meet someday? Jesus

What makes you feel sexy? my shirt. Oh wait, that's not me. That's Right Said Fred.

Who is your real life hero? Hero Guy

What is the hardest part of your job? the part between 8:00am and 9:00pm

When are you most relaxed? when I'm asleep

What stresses you out? my kids fighting, being late, being late because of my kids' fighting

What can you not live without? oxygen

Do you agree or disagree with the recent article that reported that blogs are authored by narcissists? Well, I don't know about anyone else, but I write my blog about myself because everyone wants to read about me and my life because I'm just that interesting and awesome and obviously no one is as cool as I am.

Why do you blog? First it was for money. Now I do it because I enjoy it, I love getting comments from readers, I feel like I'm doing something good and making people smile sometimes. That's pretty cool.

Who are you tagging? I'm tagging no one because there are people out there who do not like to play tag. Sooo, anyone who wants to copy and paste this meme (seriously, what DOES that stand for? How did the name "meme" come about???) and answer the questions, knock yourself out. If you don't want to, then don't.

Monday, May 26, 2008

You Might Be a Redneck If... wash your truck and your kids at the same time.

What is it with men and power tools?

And poor Jackson could only look out the window and wish he could join them. :*(

What is it About Birthday Parties and Injuries?

Last week at Austin's baseball game, I was talking to one of the boys' mothers. We were talking about active boys and how they're accident prone. She said that she'd been to the ER three times with her junior high age son. I was thinking she meant she'd been there three times this week or three times this month. Nope. She meant that she'd had to take her son to the ER three times in his life. I was a little embarrassed to admit that we go more than three times a year between all my kids. Then I realized that we hadn't been to the ER since November. November? That's six months! Oh no. We're due for another trip soon. Seriously, ever since that night I've had this feeling of dread in my subconscious. I've just had a feeling that someone was going to get hurt soon. And I'm sure that feeling has nothing to do with the fact that Clay goes flying down the street on his 2 wheeler now or how Jackson likes to say, "Look Mom!" as he rides by on his bike, one foot on his seat, the other foot outstretched behind him, and only hand on the handlebar. Nope, Clay jumping off the top off the bleachers at baseball games had nothing to do with my feeling of impending doom. The fact that Brooklyn ran into the playground equipment and got an instant goose egg on her forehead didn't have anything to do with it.

Anyway, we had a combination birthday party for Savannah and Lexi since both of their birthdays are this week. As I was preparing some food for the party, Jax asked me if he could go to a skate park with a friend. I told him no at first.
"But why?"
"Because you don't have pads."
"I don't need pads. I'll wear my helmet."
"No, you should have pads too."
"But Moooom. Pleeeeeease????"
"Yeah, Mrs. Meehan. Pleeeeease?" echoed his friend.
Now, usually, I'm the mean mom and I say something like, "No and if you argue with me one more time, you'll never skate again for as long as you live."
But this time, I looked at Jackson's pleading eyes, then glanced back at the table where 2 unfinished cakes sat and I relented. I figured if he was out doing something with his friend, it would be one less person under my feet, getting in my way while I was trying to decorate the cakes. As Jackson and his friend left, I actually said to him, "Don't go falling and breaking your head because I don't have time to take you to the ER!" That's pretty much the same as saying, "Go break a bone please!"

About a half hour later I got a call from Jackson. He'd fallen and gotten hurt and wanted to be picked up right away. Joe picked him up, drove him home, left his truck running, came inside and said he was taking him right to the ER. Ugh.

I went out to the truck to see Jax. He'd hurt his arm and it was already swollen. Off to the ER they went. Long story short - he broke his arm. They put a splint on it and told us we'd have to go to the orthopaedic doc and get a cast tomorrow. I have a feeling they'll be closed tomorrow though. He cried his eyes out when he realized he wouldn't be able to play baseball for the rest of the season.

Looped up on codeine

Miss Lex

Isn't she lovely?

Savannah's cell phone cake. She helped me to decorate it this year.

Lexi's Barbie Mariposa cake

Austin made these wings for Lexi's cake. He cut each little section out of black construction paper and then took tiny pieces of pink, purple, and yellow tissue paper and glued them behind.

Friday, May 23, 2008

Stupid Pants!

I was going through my kids' closets today and pulling out clothes they'd outgrown. I also pulled out sweaters and warm winter clothes ensuring we'll have another 2 months of 40 degree weather. Anyway, you'll never guess what I found in Austin's closet. SIX pairs of black pants! I kid you not! Why didn't I look in there when he told me he didn't have any that fit?! Granted, he'd outgrown some of the pants, but there were 2 pair I think would have worked for him. I'd forgotten all about those hand-me-downs! Sizes 29W/30L, 14 slim, 14 reg, 16 reg, 16 husky, 18. Maybe he knew about those pants, but just wanted to go shopping with me. HAHAHAHA Ouch! I think I pulled something laughing over that one.

Check out my review blog HERE for a FREE sample of GE caulk singles and a chance to win $1000 Visa gift card!

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Too Tired to Write

OK, there were too many good vodka entries, so I just used a random number generator to choose the winner of the Starbucks card. And the winner is....

Random Integer Generator
Here are your random numbers:27
Timestamp: 2008-05-23 03:19:15 UTC

The 27th comment came from BoufMom9. This lady has NINE kids. She could use some coffee to keep her going! Congratulations!


And please take a minute to check out my friend Michelle's awesome new website! For those of you who are new to my blog, Michelle is this incredibly talented, artistic woman with a huge heart and a soft spot for kids with cancer. She's selling her artwork to raise money for pediatric cancer.


My biopsy results came back fine, however they found a questionable spot on my mammogram so I get to back for some more pictures and an ultrasound. Think I'll get some more cool boob stickers?

Shopping with Teenage Boys (what could be more fun?)

My son has a band concert this week so naturally, he told me that he didn't have black pants or a white shirt that fit yesterday. Thanks for the heads up, hon. So, I took him out to the mall after school yesterday to get the black pants and white shirt that are the required uniform for band concerts.

As we walked into the mall, I had the nerve, the sheer audacity, to touch Austin's shoulder. He jumped away from me, his body convulsing as he recoiled from the poison of "mom cooties". I stupidly tried again to put my arm around his shoulder. Again, he jumped away from me and gave me a look that said, "What is wrong with you, woman?! You're embarrassing me!"

I told him, "Ohhhh boy. You don't have any idea what embarrassment is." Then I said, so everyone within a 20 mile radius could hear, "THIS IS MY SON! ISN'T HE CUTE? I'M SO PROUD OF HIM! I LOVE THIS GUY!"

"Moooom!" My son freaked out. "You're so embarrassing."

"That's not embarrassing. When I do it tomorrow in front of all your friends at the band concert, that will be embarrassing."

He wasn't amused.

I haven't been clothes shopping with Austin in a long time. I usually just pick up jeans and bring them home for him while I'm out shopping. Now I remember why.

I grabbed some black pants in a couple different sizes and told him to try them on. "Let me see them after you have them on."

He did the required eye roll and disappeared into the dressing rooms. He reappeared after a while wearing a pair of pants.

"Well, those look ok. They're a little bit long, but I think they'll be alright with your shoes. Are they comfortable?"

"I dunno."

"You don't know? Do they feel ok???"


"Ugh. Put on the other pair and let me see the length."

Another eyeroll as he trudged back to the dressing room.

He reemerged with the other size pants on. "Hmmm, I think these are just a little too short."

"I like these. They're comfortable."

"Do these fit better than the first pair 'cause they look a little short?"

"I like these better."

I lifted up his shirt so I could see how the pants fit around his waist. They weren't even fastened! They were too small and he couldn't even zip them up! They didn't fit at all and there he is saying that they felt fine and were comfortable. What the...???

"Ummm hello? Are you going to have your shirt tucked in and your pants unfastened when you stand up there in front of a gym full of parents to play your solo?" snort Yeah, that wouldn't be too embarrassing.

On the bright side, I think I've discovered an effective punishment for him. "Clean your room and finish your chores or I'm taking you to the mall to try on twenty pairs of pants."

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

How Did You Find Me?

These are the actual, untouched keywords (spelling errors and all) that weirdos people actually googled. For some reason, these keywords brought them to my blog. Scary, isn't it?

can you wash mold out of a bookbag
I don't know, but I can wash chocolate milk out of a backpack.

knock knock
Who's there?

preschool screaming
better than screaming while they're at home

i'm the best because god said so quotes
What is "narcissism"?

not because if so why i said

No, you've got it all mixed up. It's "Because I Said So".

cos i don't want to ok blud
In English please?

don't play ball in the house
Where have I heard this before? Oh yeah, I screamed said it 20 times today.

oldest boy bathed
but did you have to remind him thirteen times?

polish for butt
Do you think they mean "the Polish word for butt"? Or are they looking for butt polish?

why does sweet food make my throat tickle
I don't know. Why does sweet food make my butt expand?

styrofoam noise
is the most horrible sound on earth!

a drawing of a creepy bunn

i'm trying to diet but its so difficult blog
Oh man, that's my middle name! Well, it isn't really. That would just be weird.

spilled milk on carpet in vehicle - smell makes me gag - what will remove odor?
Nothing. Sell the car.

cold cough brandy remedy old folks
Oh. Brandy, huh? I heard it was vodka that cured all.

okay to give raisins to toddlers
Umm sure

i know a song that gets everybody's lyrics
A song that gets everybody's lyrics? Now that's one talented song.

how to fix stopped up toilet when a plunger doesn't work and a snake
Take the snake out of the toilet. Or better yet - call your husband to do it.

pee behind the shed
Well, that would be an improvement from where Clay peed yesterday. Into an empty plastic bag. Don't ask.

polishing butt
Yep, I guess they're looking for butt polish. I never knew there was such a thing.

raisin in toddler's nose
Ummm, I change my mind about giving raisins to toddlers.

how to drive a teacher crazy use humor and sarcastic
Oh yeah, teachers love this.

how do you get a bunny to go outside with r
with r what? Don't leave me hanging like this!

radiator building ghostbusters
A radiator is building a ghostbuster? You want to know how to make a radiator out of a ghostbuster? Or are you looking for folks who both bust ghosts and build radiators?

how much is pineapple?
It depends. Does a sponge live in it?

why people make fun or laugh of other people
Generally it's for googling strange keywords

decorate a cake once purchased start to chew all of the gum and spit it in your grocery bag

petrified pickel
I found one of those! Oh wait, nope. I found a petrified pickle.

the bugaloos cartoon from the 80’s
Oooo, I know this one! Shows that were created by writers who were high.

can laughing really get me a six pack
Oh if only it were that easy

spam cordon bleu
Delicious, nutritious and made with the goodness of Spam!

house working is so time consuming
just now figuring this out?

are you there god its me dawn blog
No, I believe the title is, "Are You There God, It's Me, Margaret".

butt in polish
Seriously? Another one?

Monday, May 19, 2008

Looks Kinda Like a Pancake

So, I had my colposcopy today. I went in to the room, stripped down, carefully tucked my underwear inside my pants because even though the doctor is seeing my cervix, it would be just embarrassing for her to see my underwear. That's just how my mind works.

The doctor knocked on the door to make sure I was done stripping down and was carefully covered with my paper blanket. It doesn't matter that she's going to lift the "blanket" up and look up my hoo-ha with a high powered microscope, but it would just be crazy if she walked in on me before I was entirely covered up.

She came in, cranked open the speculum, moved the colposcope into position and said, "Hmm, I can't see anything."

I'm like, "Seriously? You should be able to see all the way to my tonsils with how far that thing is shoved up there."

She insisted that there was something wrong with the light and she couldn't see anything.

Well, that's comforting.

She grabbed another doctor (because what's better than lying there with your feet in stirrups in front of one doctor? Lying there with your legs in the air for TWO doctors!) I guess they got the thing to work and she went ahead with the biopsy.

I really wasn't nervous or anything. Heck, I was out alone, lying down and relaxing. I was enjoying myself! Still, she talked me through the whole process. "I'm going to put some vinegar on your cervix now."

"Vinegar? What, are you making salad dressing down there?"

Apparently vinegar can make the abnormal tissue turn white. Then she put some Worcestershire sauce iodine on my cervix. Then came the fun part.

"I'm just going to take a couple samples. You'll feel horrific pain a small pinch. OK, now I'm going to put this stuff that looks like peanut butter on your cervix to help stop the bleeding."

"Seriously, what are you cooking down there?"

Anyway, I guess things looked pretty good and she didn't seem very concerned. Then she told me the great news that I'd probably have to come back for repeat paps every three months! Woo Hoo! Don't be all jealous now.

Although that appointment was fun, I didn't feel like I'd been humiliated enough so I went on to my mammogram appointment. So, I checked in at the outpatient lab thingy place and took a seat in the waiting room. There's a water fountain in the waiting room at my hospital. It's very tranquil and serene. It's soothing to hear the trickling water running down the wall. Unless, of course, you're a million months pregnant and you're there with your full bladder just waiting for your ultrasound. Then it's just cruel and evil. This was the first time I've been in that waiting room without having to cross my legs and will myself not to pee in their nicely upholstered chairs.

When it was my turn for the mammogram, a nice woman named Audrey called me back and sat down and explained step by step exactly what they were going to do. Again, I really wasn't nervous to begin with, but had I been, it would have been very comforting to have a technician take the time to explain everything and ask if I had any questions.

So I changed into an actual gown made of fabric and not paper and went into the waiting room. In my hospital, this whole area was just for women which was nice. When it was my turn, the technician asked me a few questions and then got to work. Now, I know what we've all been told - it's like smashing your boob between two cold, metal bookends, right? I was going to write something all funny about this, but I decided to be honest instead because I think mammograms are infinitely important and I didn't want to scare anyone from actually getting one. So, here's the truth - mammograms aren't that bad! For real!

Yes, it's uncomfortable to have a stranger grab your boob, pull it nearly off your body and place it in this machine. Yes, it's a little strange to have the technician place a sticker that looks like a snap, on your nipple. And yes, it's uncomfortable to have your boob squashed between the two plates. But it really doesn't hurt. Honest! Discomfort - sure. Pain - not at all. And really, what's a little discomfort when you think of the incredible benefits? Breast cancer is highly curable if caught early. Who would rather risk their health just to avoid a little discomfort? And let's face it, after giving birth, our inhibitions are pretty much non-existent anyway, right? Sooo, if you're between the age of 35 and 40 and haven't had a mammogram yet, GO GET ONE! It's important to get that first baseline mammo so doctors have something to compare future mammograms to. Doctors need to know what is normal for you, so they can spot any changes that might occur in the future. Come on, if I can do it, you guys can too! OK, I'm done with my motherly lecture now.

Oh yeah, and when you get your mammo done and you go back to the dressing room to change back into your clothes, don't forget to take the stickers off your boobs. Not that I did that or anything. Just saying...

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Sunday Sound Out

I just noticed that my St. Jude banner shows that someone recently donated some money! THANK YOU!

I'm really impressed that your camera was able to do that. I know you've mentioned before what your camera was, but I failed miserably trying to find that post. I'm in the market for a new camera -- any suggestions for someone who really needs to take more pictures and wants to upgrade from the 1999 model?
I have a Sony Cyber-Shot that I got for 50% off because it was a display one. I don't think they make the same model, but this one is comparable to mine.

So, I'm being nosey. Do you live in the same house as when you started your family and were all your kids born at the same hospital(for me, yes and yes)
Yes and no. Lexi was born at a different hospital than the rest of my kids. My doctor had just changed hospitals at that time. I hated that hospital. The only way I'd ever go back there is if I was in a car accident right outside their door and I was unconscious and couldn't tell them to take me somewhere else. That's why I switched OB/GYNs after she was born (just so I could deliver at a different hospital).

Dawn, I have a couple of questions about the incredible pictures you posted of you and all of your gorgeous kids. I swear it looks like you actually have makeup on in the pics of you with Austin, Savannah, and Lexington...please tell me that you were not that pulled together before/during/after the birthing!
Yes, I had a make-up artist come to my room and do my face and hair periodically during my labor. big was Jackson when he was born? That looked like a seriously large chested baby...and I should kiddo had the same shape when she was born.
He was 8, 5. Aren't you impressed that I remembered that?

Did you get pampered (NOT the diapers) on Mother's Day?
Define "pampered".

Has anyone ever told you that you sometimes look a whole lot like Gloria Estefan?
Ummm no. People usually tell me I look like Cindy Margolis her.

What??? You don't like camping??? How can you not? All someone has to say to to is "s'more" and I am soooo there!
I think it has something to do with the whole - packing up your whole house, getting 4000 mosquito bites, cooking over a fire, sleeping out in humidity, chasing the kids all over God's green earth, no computer, only cold water that smells like rotten eggs, and driving for hours with 6 kids smashed into the car.

You look like like a gorgeous MODEL in the picture with Savannah.
You're my new best friend, by the way.

I want to ask you a question, does Savannah ever complained that she doesn't want to hold the kids anymore? Or the sore arms after holding her little siblings for a long time? She looks like the best big sister on earth.
Nah, Savannah's awesome with the little ones. Austin's really great with them too (at least when he wants to be.)

LOL have you seen the movie "Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion" ?
No, but after so many of you mentioned it, I'm going to have to rent it.

All your ideas sound like the episode of Mad About You when Jamie and Paul go on vacation.Paul: I wouldn't say I invented it, but I said to Lipton: you've got a cup, you've got noodles, you do the math!
BAAAAA! I remember that one!

Has anyone compared you to Erma Bombeck?
Yes. It's very flattering, but I don't hold a candle to her.

Sorry to hear about your book getting pushed I'll have to buy it for my mom for Mother's Day instead of Christmas. What should I get my mom for Christmas?
This great Fraggle Rock doll

Ok, I know I read your blog everyday, and I swear I must have missed one or something because I do not remember reading about your book being pushed back to next year? Could you please go over that once again for people like me, who have no clue what happened?
Here ya go.

How old is that boyfriend? 12?
Nah, he just looks young because we're so old now.

Will Don be at the reunion? I want a "now" photo of him!!
Nope, he went to another school.

SSO: Did I miss a post or has Austin not yet turned in his project for school for which everybody sent in postcards? I remember it being due in May, but I haven't seen any maps for a while. thanks!
He collected hundreds of postcards, letters, pictures, and other souvenirs. He learned a ton about other places around the world. We both found it really interesting! Austin shared a lot of the correspondence with his class. Thank you to everyone who participated! Here's the updated map. Remember, there are two pages. If you don't see your name on the map, scroll down and click on page two.

View Larger Map

Dawn -- How did you and Joe decide on six children? I really would like 6 or more, but my hubby is set at 4 (we are presently half way there). Did you have to convince Joe for more children or did Joe convince you for the children? Any hints would help.
Honestly, it wasn't a conscious decision. It just worked out that way. But seriously, if you want to convince your husband to have more, you might want to keep him from reading this blog.

Your niece and nephew are sooo cute...Do most of your siblings or your husbands siblings children look like your kids also???
That's it - I just have those two (one niece and one nephew). I don't think my nephew looks like my kids and it's too soon to tell with my little niece.

Check out Angie's cool new website. While you're there, use coupon code 15becauseisaidso for 15% off orders of $20 or more.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

I Go More Faster

I got to see my brand new baby niece, Ryan, a couple days ago! Isn't she cute? She's sooo tiny! Makes me want another one. But then I'd have to change the name of my website to Mom2My6PackWithAChaser.
Congratulations Aunt Kelly and Uncle Ross!

I can't figure out if my cute little nephew, Dominick, is trying to make a point or if he's just telling my kids, "Shhhhh!" after they were mauling him.

This is the conversation that took place on my way to baseball.

CLAY: Go faster, Mom!
LEX: She's going faster than Daddy.
CLAY: Mom is more faster than Dad.
LEX: Yeah. Mom's car is faster than Dad's.
CLAY: Yeah, Mom has a fast car. Why is Mom more faster?
LEX: Because Mom has more gas.
CLAY: Ohhh. Yeah, Mom has more gas so she goes more faster.
LEX: Yeah. Dad doesn't have enough gas.
CLAY: Do you need gas to go fast?
LEX: Yeah, you need lots of gas to go faster.
CLAY: Ohhh. Mom has lots of gas.

(By the way, I'm pretty sure Joe has more gas.)

Friday, May 16, 2008

The Many Uses of Vodka

My friend just got this email forwarded to her with a list of ways you could use vodka. I thought it was very helpful and wanted to share it with you guys.

1. To remove a bandage painlessly, saturate the bandage with vodka. The stuff dissolves adhesive.
Or you could just drink the vodka and then rip the bandage off. Six of one, half dozen the other.

2. To clean your eyeglasses, simply wipe the lenses with a soft, clean cloth dampened with vodka. The alcohol in the vodka cleans the glass and kills germs.
Kinda gives the term "beer goggles" a new meaning.

3. Prolong the life of razors by filling a cup with vodka and letting your safety razor blade soak in the alcohol after shaving. The vodka disinfects the blade and prevents rusting.
Because when you cut yourself shaving, it feels so much better to get vodka in your cut.

4. Spray vodka on wine stains, scrub with a brush, and then blot dry.
This is an example of irony.

5. Using a cotton ball, apply vodka to your face as an astringent to cleanse the skin and tighten pores.
Then walk around smelling like an alcoholic all day.

6. Add a jigger of vodka to a 12-ounce bottle of shampoo. The alcohol cleanses the scalp, removes toxins from hair, and stimulates the growth of healthy hair.
But does it give you great body like the beer shampoo from the 70s?

7. Fill a sixteen-ounce trigger-spray bottle with vodka and spray bees or wasps to kill them.
Or get them drunk and angry.

8. Pour one-half cup vodka and one-half cup water into a Ziploc freezer bag and freeze for a slushy, refreshing ice pack for aches, pain or black eyes.
Again, I'm guessing there's a little more pain relief in the ingestion of this ice pack.

9. Fill a clean, used mayonnaise jar with freshly packed lavender flowers, fill the jar with vodka, seal the lid tightly and set in the sun for three days. Strain liquid through a coffee filter, then apply the tincture to aches and pains.
Or drizzle over sorbet, chocolate cake, or flan for a sweet floral flavor with citrus notes.

10. To relieve a fever, use a washcloth to rub vodka on your chest and back as a liniment.
Yes, this is exactly what doctors recommend. Along with: a half an onion placed under the bed of a sick person will draw off fever and poisons; red ribbon should be placed on a child who has been sick to keep the illness from returning; placing a hand in front of your mouth when sneezing will keep your soul from escaping; seeing an ambulance is very unlucky unless you pinch your nose and hold your breath until you see a black dog.

11. To cure foot odor, wash your feet with vodka.
does wonders for your breath too

12. Vodka will disinfect and alleviate a jellyfish sting.
because everyone carries a flask of vodka to the beach with them

13. Pour vodka over an area affected with poison ivy to remove the urushiol oil from your skin. According to the Mythbusters (both Jamie & Adam AND Austin & Jackson) this myth has been BUSTED!

14. Swish a shot of vodka over an aching tooth. Allow your gums to absorb some of the alcohol to numb the pain.
This is even better if you take a swig of orange juice at the same time.

OK, my brain is tired. I need to get to sleep early tonight for the Great Baseball Extravaganza tomorrow. Nine hours of baseball woo hoo! So, your mission, should you choose to accept, is to come up with a snarky comment for this last vodka idea. Leave me a comment with your best retort. The winner will receive a bottle of vodka a Starbucks card. What? Vodka tastes icky and it doesn't ship well.

15. To clean the caulking around bathtubs and showers, fill a trigger-spray bottle with vodka, spray the caulking, let set five minutes and wash clean. The alcohol in the vodka kills mold and mildew.

How Many More Days Until School's Out?

I can't wait for school to be out! Yeah, yeah, I know what you're thinking. Sometime in July, when I'm bribing school officials to institute year-round school, I'll deny ever saying this. But for now, I can't wait for school to be out. This is the only time of the year that I'm on the same page as my teacher friends. We're all counting down. We have one day over 60 degrees and the kids think it's summer. As I'm folding laundry, I see the little ones streak by me in their bathing suits. "Hey! Where do you think you're going?" 

"Outside. Mom, can we go swimming?" 

"Where? In the mud puddle by the swingset?" 

"Will you set up the pool?" 

"Sure, let's have a pool party." My kids learn all about sarcasm at an early age. 

"Awww why not? It's really hot out here." 

"Because I said so." 

"But whyyyy?" 

"Because I'm mean." 

 Clayton decided that since it's summer, it's high time he learned how to ride a big 2 wheeler. So he climbed up onto Joe's tool bench, found the appropriately sized wrench and proceeded to remove his training wheels. He did just turn four afterall. He then (and this is the really impressive part!) returned the wrench to my husband's tool box, and placed his training wheels upon the work bench. They know to return my husband's tools to their proper place, however, they paint maps of Florida with my spatula, dig in the sand box with my ladle and give their hermit crabs baths in my Tupperware and then lose my kitchen gadgets. I've got to ask Joe his secret. 

 Anyway, he hops on his bike and takes off. Ta Da. Nothing more to it. The kid is nuts. Jackson was the same way. But when Austin was 4 or 5, he tried to ride a 2 wheeler and fell off. He got back on and fell again. He then threw the bike down, said it was stupid and stomped off. He didn't try again for a year. Savannah, when learning to ride without training wheels, tried and fell and tried and fell and tried and fell about a thousand times. She was one giant walking bruise, but she learned to ride that thing!

Anyway, the older kids think it's summer too. Baseball games often last until 8:30. By the time they get home, grab a snack, shower, and finish their homework, it's 10:00. They're tired and don't want to get up for school in the morning. Of course, because it's so summery outside at a balmy 50 degrees these days, Savannah thinks she doesn't need a jacket at her softball games. "Don't you want your UnderArmor? Are you sure you want to wear your softball shorts? Why don't you at least put on a t-shirt under your sleeveless jersey?" 

She looked at me and rolled her eyes. She rolled her eyes! She said, "It's hot outside," but what she meant was, "Are you daft, old woman? How did you ever make it this far in life? Clearly, you're stupid."

Of course, I fully exercised my right to say, "I told you so!" when, shivering, she broke down and asked me to get her sweatshirt. And the middle kids also think it's summer. They're done with school. Homework takes them 2.3 minutes to do these days. They've forgotten how to read. I can actually see their brain cells going into summer hibernation. Me? I'm just tired of getting them up and off to school and I'm tired of battling with them to get homework done, especially on baseball days. I'd rather sit outside around a campfire and talk until late at night then sleep in and not worry about homework for a couple weeks. I love summer!


Did I tell you guys I finally got new couches? They've been in pretty sad shape since this incident, but I didn't want to spend any money on new ones because I know the kids are just going to trash them. We had people over the other day. Our couch swallowed one of our guests. We tried pulling them out, but the only things we were able to retrieve were Kix, granola bar wrappers, change, a pencil, a piece of chewed gum, part of a blackened banana peel, a petrified cheese stick, three socks, a cow, a harmonica, and an empty toilet paper roll. At this point, we decided it was probably time to bury our old couch and get a new one. Thank you to Suburban Correspondant at The More, the Messier for her suggestion of Ektorp furniture by Ikea. This furniture has slip covers that are washable! Do you know what this means? It means, if when the kids throw up chicken, mashed potatoes and undigested corn all over the couch, I can wash it Joe can wash it! When Brooklyn drools chocolate on the cushions, I can just pop them into the washer. When Clayton sticks his hands in my container of powdered sugar like a gymnast getting ready for his routine on the bar and then somersalts across the love seat, no problem, I can stick the covers in the wash. Not that this has happened or will happen or anything. I'm just saying hypothetically. Just in case. Oh, who am I kidding? I just got them on Sunday and they're already covered in chocolate and powdered sugar and chock full of crumbs. My "No eating in the family room under penalty of death" rule is certainly working. 


 One more thing - Jenny at Three Kid Circus is having a contest where you can win a new Wii console, Fitness game, and balance board! Just blog about (or leave her a comment with) your most embarrassing fitness purchase story. Do you have a treadmill that's now a clothes hanger? Did you require an ER visit after using the Thigh Master? Did you realize that Buns of Steel was not intended for use for people who have buns of pudding? Write about it and you could win! She's accepting entries until midnight, Friday, May 16th.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

The Picture

For all of you who asked - I've posted my senior picture on my blog before. How could you forget about the hair? I'm quite proud of the volume I achieved with my 'do. That must have taken half a super-size can of Aquanet and a hair dryer to get that look. And how about the four inches of eye liner. Lookin' good, Dawn. Lookin' good. You can see it here and here. But here's a bonus. A prom picture of me in my lovely, poufy, frou frou dress. (Thanks for supplying the blackmail photo, Brenda) Note the matching flower comb thingy in my hair. Gotta accessorize, no? And no, that isn't my husband. He was my boyfriend at the time - Don. Don, Dawn. Dawn, Don. No, it didn't get confusing.

Now, I'm off to Dunkin Donuts for free iced coffee day. I highly recommend iced coconut coffee with a little cream and sugar. Mmmmm.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

My Legacy of Laughter

So thinking about my upcoming high school reunion, I dragged out my yearbook and started looking through the pages. I was really surprised at the things people wrote in my yearbook. I guess some things don't change in 20 years. Here are a few things my classmates wrote. (Apparently I did a lot of laughing in high school. That could explain my grades...)

Hey girl, it's been a long year, but your laugh has kept the class awake..... are a really sweet person who thinks up good excuses for ditching gym.

Art has been fun. You have the most creative laugh I have ever heard.

...It was great having you in my class and hearing all your stories.

....PS laugh for me, Dawn!

Survey would not have been the same if your joyous laughter had not filled the room. I will always remember the time that I had to walk out of class because I was having an uncontrollable fit of laughter after listening to you laughing. Keep laughing Dawn and keep making other people laugh.

.....keep laughing. OK, seriously, thanks for being my friend and I hope your life is filled with much happiness and laughter. You have uplifted my life in many ways. are totally funny. You made art class something to look forward to at the end of the day....

What can I say? You've got a weird laugh (that's a compliment). I mean, this class would be total boredom without it....

And this one was especially funny to me. I about fell off my chair laughing at this one...
"Dawn, you turned out some very nice work this year. The keyword is some! But despite that, you're a nice kid, great laugh, talented girl. Thanks for taking my class.
Mr. Upin
Forget about the tranquilizer remark. You turned out OK."

LOL! I remember him threatening me with a tranquilizer because I laughed too much in his class! Ahhh good times, good times...

Despite the fact that I truly don't remember most of the kids I went to school with (in all fairness, there were more than 600 kids in my graduating class) I guess I made an impression on a couple of them. At least 20 years ago. That's good.

You never know when something you do or say will impact another person's life. Not that all those people who signed my book remember me or the fact that I apparently laugh like a hyena, but still, at the time I impacted a couple lives in a positive way. We can all do that. Every day. Take time to spread some laughter and joy! You never know who could really use a smile. :)

It reminds me of this commercial. I don't know anything about Liberty Mutual, but I love these commercials. Those little acts of kindness can have a huge impact.

(You can start by giving your kids a laugh. Just show them pictures of you from your yearbook. My kids haven't stopped laughing at my picture yet.)

Remember Me?

I have my 20 year class reunion coming up in October. You know what this means, right? I have 5 months to lose like 100 pounds.

I thought I'd be able to tell my fellow classmates, "Yes, I have a best selling book that came out this summer." Now I'm just going to have to say something cool like, "I have a blog", which is another way of saying, "I'm a great big computer dork."

I went to, looked at the list of fellow graduates and recognized like 5 names. Seriously, I swear I don't remember anyone. This realization was somehow disturbing to me. Did I have any friends in high school? I'm pretty sure I did. I remember hanging out with people after school and on weekends. I have all sorts of signatures in my yearbook. The thing is - I don't know who 90% of the signatures are from. The names are completely foreign. Have I just completely lost my mind? What is my deal?

Since I apparently don't remember a single person I went to high school with, why should I even go to the reunion. Who am I going to be reunited with? I don't have any old flames from high school that I'd love to see. There are no bullies with whom I'd like to get even. There are no popular kids I'd like to see all fat and lonely now. There are no outcasts to whom I need to apologize for making fun of. There doesn't really seem to be a point to going. I'm still best friends with my best friends from high school and we see each other on a regular basis. So, should I go to the reunion and walk around, staring at people's name tags and feigning recognition when they come up and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in 20 years! Remember me?"
Or worse yet, maybe no one will remember me! They'll talk to each other and ask, "Who's that loser in the corner? Do you remember her?"

I think the key to enjoying your high school reunion is making up stuff.

What are you doing these days, Dawn?
Well, I work for NASA.
Really? Wow, I'm surprised. Didn't you fail math like 3 years in a row?

So what are you doing with yourself now?
I'm in a circus. I train elephants.

What do you do for a living?
I'm a CIA agent.

What have you done with your life since high school?
I'm still trying to pass algebra 101.

I invented bubble wrap.

I'm dating Charlie Sheen.

I live in Punxsutawney. I'm in charge of feeding the groundhog.

I spent 12 years in Africa learning how to communicate with giraffes.

I have six kids.

That could make for an interesting night. Until people started comparing notes, at which point they might come to the conclusion that I'm insane. Although having the entire graduating class thinking I'm off my rocker would be worth seeing the perplexed looks on their faces when I tell them that I'm a rodeo clown.

Yep, I definitely think I'll be going to this event. If nothing else, it should provide me with blog material. But I promise I won't make Joe go with me. I imagine the only thing more boring than going to your class reunion is going to your spouse's class reunion.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Sunday Sound Out

to all the moms, grandmothers, aunts, godmothers, friends, and other mom-like people out there!

Baby Austin

Baby Savannah

Baby Jackson

Baby Lexington

Baby Clayton

Baby Brooklyn

Big fat belly with bruises from shots

The whole gang. I love being a mom!

Thank you to everyone who emailed me a mother's day greeting! I appreciated all of them and wanted to say "thanks" here because I just didn't have time to thank everyone individually. Thank you! :)

Those of you who have been reading my blog for some time now, know about Julian (carepages - juliansworld) and Coleman (carepages - colemanscott). You probably also know about Michelle from My Semblance of Sanity. Michelle is a mega-talented writer and artist and she has this great, big, servant's heart. Because she has become a big advocate for pediatric cancer awareness and research, she's started 4 The Kids to raise money for pediatric cancer research. Check out her designs for sale here and here and here. 50 - 100% of the proceeds are going to benefit pediatric cancer.

Or you could donate to St. Jude's Children's Research Hospital. I have a banner over there to the right ----->

And, of course, you can always pray for those little ones battling this horrible, awful thing - cancer.

Dawn, so now that the Pokemon craze has passed how many hits does your blog average per day?
Ummm 6000ish on the weekend and anywhere between 8000 - 10,000 during the week.

P.S. If the ADHD med you tried for Jackson didn't work out, you could try using a different medicine. There are several different classes of ADHD meds available.
He's been on three different ones over the years. It's not that they didn't work because they worked beautifully. It's that he developed high blood pressure while on them. I'm certainly not about to judge anyone for their decision to use or not use medicine for ADHD. It's a tough decision with pros and cons on both sides and ultimately, you have to decide what's best for your child and your family. For many reasons (blood pressure included) we've decided to try an alternative (natural diet) approach to helping him control his behavior.

I just watched our local news about a woman in Salt Lake that her and her husband live off of the revenue her blog gets from posting ads. Does your blog make that much revenue?
LOL! Ummm nope. How awesome would that be though?

I have two kids...Ethan and Kayla...almost every day when I am talking to one of them I say the wrong name. "Kay...Ethan, did you take out the trash? "EEE...Kayla did you brush your teeth?" This drives them bonkers. Completey bonkers!! I mean I only have TWO kids, one boy, one girl. Easy enough right?? Apparently not!!Do you ever do the name mix up thing?? Please tell me that you do and that I am not alone in this??
I've taken to calling all my kids "Bob". It just makes things simpler.

If sorting through comments to find for the Sunday thing is the most time could make some kind of special 'comment/question' box people to ask in. I mean I'm sure you'd still read through the 582 comments you get a day but this not only would make it easier for you but could a good catch-all for the questions that might get overlooked sometimes. Just a thought.
That's a great idea. I wouldn't know how to begin to do this, but I'm sure Kelli can when she sets up my website next month!

What I want to know is who took the picture of you at the sink!?!?!
I did! I'm just THAT talented!

ummm...did I miss something? Did Joe quit his job or is he just busier because you are busier?
He didn't quit his job. He isn't busier. In fact, he's working far less hours these days. That's why I have the nerve to expect him to help out more while I write. Even though no one thinks that me writing is a real job.

What is your husband's profession outside the house? I think its so wonderful that his schedule is so flexible that you can do all of these things. I'm really glad God has open all these wonderful doors for you. Congrats Dawn!
He works in the maintenance department of a school district. And yes, we're super fortunate that his job is somewhat flexible and he can take several days off each year.

If it were me in Joe's shoes, I might be a touch envious that my wife was suddenly a celebrity, and might be a touch miffed that suddenly everything is falling upon my shoulders.
First off - a celebrity? SNORT! So not.
Secondly - believe me, "everything" is not falling on his shoulders. LOL! Ouch, I think I pulled something laughing! That was a good one.

Ok, this is gonna seem like a stupid question, but did you dye your hair?
Ummm no. Why? Who told you I color my hair? It isn't gray. It isn't. Really!

So umm how exactly did you get up to the roof to see what was on the roof?
Get up on the roof? Oh gosh no! I just took pictures from the safety of the ground thankyouverymuch! I have an awesome camera. It's the best thing I bought last year.

Is that ice on the roof or is that just how the roofing material looks? Eek! Are you STILL getting snow? When does it ever stop snowing there? June? August???
It isn't ice on the roof. It's just the color of the shingles. And I think :::knocking on wood::: that we're done with snow for the season. Although I'm still wearing my winter coat to the kids' baseball games.

(SSO question?)Is new roof on "the" list, or *Joe's* list? Is that among his DIY capabilities?
That would be Joe's list although it's not something I'm losing sleep over. And it's entirely among his DIY capabilities. That guy can fix/make anything!

Now I wonder what they would find if they dug up your back yard?
Jimmy Hoffa, a T-Rex, hermit crab remains, Legos, Matchbox cars, Barbie shoes, my ladle, two Pokemon figures, a golf ball, a sippy cup, and King Tut's tomb. Just a guess, of course.

Sorry that I don't read ALL the comments so ignore me if I'm repeating a question....I was wondering...did your son ever "pass" the battery?
I think you got me mixed up with Mimi. Her son swallowed a battery. My kids swallow stuff like staples. (And yes, Mimi's son passed the battery.)

She is so verbal for a 2-yr old!
Yes she is. This is the conversation we just had.
Is Daddy home?
No, he's a work.

He's at work?

Ohhh. Daddy's at work?
Yes, Daddy's at work.
Daddy's not home?
He's not home? He's at work?
Still yes. He's at work.
Ohhh. Daddy come home?
Yes, he'll be home later.

Ohhh. Daddy at work now?

Daddy come home later?
Ohhh. Where Austin now?

I don't have a video camera and my regular camera only takes a minute or two of footage. I don't think I could capture the magic that is dinnertime in a couple minutes. But as soon as I get a video camera, that's the first thing I'll tape! Who knows - it may help some of you with your diets. Seeing a video like that is sure to curb anyone's appetite.

Um, Dawn, did you read about your competition today? Yup, there is some lady that is pregnant with her 18th kid.Granted they live in a 7000 square foot house, but still 18 kids?! And she is 41.
I am definitely not competition for her. She can hold the title for the most kids! I'm quite happy with six. I cannot imagine having that many, but they seem to handle it wonderfully. From what I've seen on TV specials about the Duggars, they seem to be very organized and orderly. They have a system and a strong faith and they seem to function really well. Certainly everyone's entitled to their own opinions, but who cares if they want a big family? They take care of each other and those kids will probably all grow up to be productive members of society. What's wrong with that? <---that's rhetorical and if you have something nasty to say about big families, take it somewhere else.

Are any overatures being made by your publisher to have you write a second book? I signed a two book deal, so they're probably kinda expecting me to write that second book.

On the bright side, there's still going to be a book. Now you don't have to take any time away from your lovely family this summer!
True, but the kids were going to go on the book tour with me and now they're disappointed that isn't going to happen. But oh yay - that leaves more time for us to go camping this summer! I'm so excited! Oh boy! Camping! <---- read with heavy sarcasm.

Question: who's the boy on the cover of the book? He looks so much like the little guy on the ETrade commercials who buys stock...
I dunno. Some misc. kid who is a cover model and apparently trades stock in his spare time.

I suppose though while your waiting for your book to come out they may want you to write your second book?
Yeah, the second manuscript is due in January. Think I'll be able to finish it in time if I start it after Christmas?

Will Guideposts have a story about you in their magazine?
Hmmm good question. They were planning on running a story in their August issue, but I imagine they'll hold off until next spring now. Have you guys all read Guideposts Magazine? It's very inspiring, but I warn you - you must have a book of tissues nearby when you read it. Seriously. You've been warned.

what I really NEED to know is HOW in the world did that baby get chocolate all over her face, hands, and clothes but NOT the highchair seat? And which child is that anyway?
It's Brooklyn and I have no idea. She probably licked it off the high chair.

Oh, and do any of your kids have tubes in their ears?
Yep, four out of the six have had at least one set of tubes. They can officially hear, but they still don't listen.

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