Saturday, August 25, 2007

But he Started It!

OK put your pitch forks down, readers. The copied auction was pulled by Ebay. Remind me to never cross you guys. You can be scary! LOL!

Oops! I'm sorry I forgot to say that the Fox19 interview will be this Monday morning at 8:40 a.m. Eastern time.

Several readers have suggested that I put a button on my blog enabling people to donate to my Paypal account. I just don't feel right doing this. I'd rather you save your money to buy a copy of my book. ;) But it did get me thinking that it would be a great idea to put a button on here for anyone interested in donating to a charity. I've written St. Jude's Children's Hospital to see if they have a program that will let people donate directly to them through my blog. I'd also like to put one on for breast cancer. If anyone knows of a good organization for breast cancer who may participate in such a program, please let me know.

And yes, the "supposeably" comment was from Friends. I love Friends. And Seinfeld. And Everybody Loves Raymond. My brain is full of stupid quotes from these shows. It's sad really. I should download some of that useless information to the recycling bin and free up a little more memory.


I was all set to write about Picking and Choosing Your Battles today. I had it all written in my mind. Then the kids woke up. Everything has been a battle today. It's largely my fault because I have been spending entirely too much time online this week. Can't imagine why! The kids are desperate for attention. The full extent of this fact hit me (literally) when my son whipped a baseball across the room (yes, IN the house) and it smacked me in the ankle. I lost my cool and yelled, "What are you doing?! Use your head! You just threw a baseball at me!"
He replied with a defensive, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hit you. I was aiming for Aj," as if this made it all ok somehow.
"Oh well, as long as you weren't aiming for me." I rolled my eyes so much I thought they might get stuck at the back of my head.

Then began the whole "He Started It" conversation. If you have one child, you can skip this part. If you have more than one then you know what I'm talking about. Now, I personally don't get involved in this particular discussion. In my opinion there is no way to figure just who started it. It'll make your head spin trying to sort it out especially if you have a quiet instigator. I have one of those. The kind of kid who can't walk down the hall without reaching out and swiping at the sibling he passes. 'What? Who me? What did I do? I was just walking down the hall!'

In my house (except in the very rare, obvious case) both parties get in trouble when something like this happens despite who may or may not have "started it". In fact, it's the one who retaliates, who usually upsets me the most. I always tell them, "If one of your siblings hits you, you need to come tell me. Do not hit them back. That won't solve the problem and it will get you in trouble too."

Of course, I suppose I'm partly to blame when they turn vigilante and take vengeance upon themselves. Despite my wonderful, wise instruction to inform me when they've been wronged, I must admit that there have been a time or two or a hundred when my child has done just that, but to no avail.

CHILD: Moooom! So and so hit me.
ME: Are you bleeding?
ME: Are there any bones protruding from your skin?
ME: Then go work it out yourself!

Yes, I know I'm not being consistent and I'm sending mixed messages and that's really not the best parenting. However, after hearing....

She poked me!
He won't give me my doll back
She just dumped out my cereal
Make her stop going in my room
Why do I have to share a room with them? They're messing up my stuff!
But I don't wanna watch Diego! It's a baby show!
But I don't wanna watch Drake and Josh! I wanna watch my Barbie movie.
He's bugging me!
She's looking at me!
He won't give me a turn!
I want to play with it now!

.....five hundred million times, you get a little tired of playing referee, thus the "work it out yourself!" comment. It's not such a bad thing to let them work it out themselves sometimes. I think it's important to learn skills that will help you compromise, work as a team, and get along with people who irritate you. I mean, one day they might just have a boss who they don't especially like. They won't be able to just dump coffee out on his desk or give him a wedgie. They'll have to find a way to cope and get along for the sake of their job.

Hmmm, one would think I had a point with all this. (I'm going to blame it on lack of sleep.) I guess my point is - we want to teach our children how to get along with others. We want to show them right from wrong. We want them to grow up to be well-adjusted, good people. Sometimes we just want them to make it another year! And this job called parenting is rewarding, fulfilling, exciting, and almost always HARD.


Jenster said...

St. Jude's is a GREAT cause. As for breast cancer research, I wonder if the Komen Foundation or has that capability. (I'm a BC survivor myself.)

I only have two children and sometimes they make me want to stop the bleeding from my ears by ramming them with sharp objects. I feel it's best for them to work out their problems, too. Somewhere other than where I am.

Anonymous said...

If someone thinks parenting is easy, they are either not involved enough in their child's life or the child is hiding a whole lot from them. I have 2 great girls. Overall and compared to some they are easy peasy ... but they still make me feel like i want to pull my hair out and scream in frustration on a daily basis.

ugh ... like just now!

morninglight mama said...

I love the work it out comment- as a preschool teacher for 10 years, it was a standard. My two kids are almost six years apart, so I haven't yet had to pull it out at home, but I know I will- especially when #3 comes and is only 18 months younger than his sister. wow- I need to go cower in a corner from fright of what's to come...

Troop 1309 said...

I saw your ebay auction, loved it!

If you are looking for a banner that enables donations, Easter Seals has the banners.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for giving me such a good laugh today. I found a link to your EBay auction item on a Clay Aiken message board and followed that to your blog. You have a gift - thank you for sharing that gift with many women who could also use a laugh in their day.
An organization for breast cancer that you might want put on your blog is the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation at

Good luck with your book!

Deb said...

Ahh, the memories!

Hi Dawn. Got here through eBay, someone sent me a link to the auction and I laughed SO hard. Now reading your blog - especially this particular thread..*sigh* I want my BABIES back! I too was a SAHM for over 20 years. I have four boys and two girls 27, 26, 23, 21, 18 and I guess I'm on the home stretch now. But trust me, I went through all the same things and I miss it - I really do. Lucky for me they are ALL wonderful, polite, productive and well-adjusted young ladies and gentlemen and I consider the raising of them to be my life's greatest accomplishment. That question was asked of me just yesterday at an interview I had with a day care center! (what did I consider my life accomplishment and I said "my kids" without hesitation!)
I know..I'm nuts - at almost 50 here I go again - only with someone else's kiddos! :) But I have EVERYthing crossed 'cause I want that daycare job so bad! It's just "what I do".
And no other occupation (besides mothering) has a greater feeling of accomplishment. Thanks for the laughs, good luck with your brood and happy mothering!

from New Glasgow
Nova Scotia, Canada

Anonymous said...

Wow, I completely know what you're talking about. I feel like my family is a part of The Family Circus, with the little ghost children running around that are named "Not Me", "I don't know", and "He did it".
My oldest two are notorious for the "He started it" or "He made me" crap. I couldn't wait for school to start this year(after swearing for years I would never be a mom that said that) because they seriously needed time away from EACH OTHER, or they would've killed each other! Fighting isn't tolerated, but that doesn't mean it never happens ;).
And, in case you're wondering, I've used the "work it out yourselves" comment more times than I'll admit :D. Because it DOES get tiring once in awhile. I was cracking up reading this part:
"He's bugging me!
She's looking at me!
He won't give me a turn!
I want to play with it now!"

I hear this kind of stuff sooooo many times in a single day.. that yes, sometimes I slack off and let them fend for themselves.
Bad, mommy, BAD!

Tarasview said...

I found your blog today (through my husband salguodbocaj from the balance) and I just have to say that you are my new favourite blog to read! You are hilarious. I only have 3 kids (ages 5, 3.5, and 9 months) but I seriously resonate with your musings! Love it. Thanks for writing!

Tracy said...

I only have two kids and I get sick of being a referee also. I've been known to say "Work it out yourselves and that does NOT mean hitting them back!!"

It's okay to tell them to work it out. And you are right, they need to learn to work things out amongst themselves so they can live in this world. I've just learned the hard way that I have to point out that working it out yourself does NOT include violence of any sort! LOL

by the way, I found your blog through the auction. Funny stuff!!

Anonymous said...

Work it out? Work it out! Work it out! Those words have been said today in my home a minimum of 50 time.

Its it just me or are Saturdays harder than most other days. I have 4 yr old twins. Its always; he started it, it's my turn, He hit me, he threw (fill in the blank) at me.

I have a 5 minute rule if they argue over toys...mostly I just count the minutes down until Calgone can take me away!

I love what you are accomplishing! Your humor, your writings (which is probably what keeps those 14 brain cells in tact!) I think its a great way to vent so you can be the best mom. I tell the stories too, only I usually call friends and dont write it down.

Keep 'em coming!
We love ya in Texas!

Lisa~ said...

LOL... if I didnt know any better and if I knew you didnt have six kids... I would say you were looking in our windows! lol I can relate! *Ü*

I enjoyed your post.... Thanks, Lisawa~

Bigmammy said...

Thanks for the great blog!!!
mother of 4

Sam Currie said...

you have the best sense of humour, very like my own (oops how do I re-phrase that so it doesn't sound like me saying how funny i think I am????)

aaany-hoo, I practically take wine intraveneously to cope with being a mum to one, so hat's off to you, if I had a hat that is, for having 6...............I feel a top up for my wine line is due.....seriously though you crack me up and I LOVE your blog xxx

MorningSong said...

Very true!! Parenting IS hard and rewarding! Although, on some mornings I wish I had pulled the covers over my head and asked for a do-over!! :) C'est la vie!


Anonymous said...

You might check out Samaritan's Purse. 90% of donations go to their projects. This is MUCH higher than most charities.

You rock!

PS. If you hear from Duff at Charm City Cakes, a little birdie sent him a link to your blog. Hee hee!

Anonymous said...

As a mother of 6 kids myself I have been there and done that a million times. I will never forget the time a mother from down the street who only had 1 child came and told me that one of my boys called her son a bad name and hurt his feelings. She wanted to know what I was going to do about it and I looked at her holding onto two of my kids so they wouldn't run out the door, and said if I had to come outside everytime one of my kids said something that hurt the other kids feelings I would get NOTHING done at all. She was shocked at my answer and quickly told me that my child could not every play with her child again and I said whatever!! Work it out is the perfect come back to mothers who fight their kids battles for them. Thanks for teaching your kids how to cope with each other and strangers. LINDA

Anonymous said...

A funny topic my SIL and I talk about is "Things you never thought you'd hear yourself say." Like: "Don't bite the cat!" or "Don't knock on your (infant) sister's head!" I'm sure you've got a zillion of 'em!

Anonymous said...

Dawn your writing is wonderful! I've been stalking your blog for a few days now and I love it lol.

There is a way to fund mammograms for women who cant afford to pay for them, and it is free to do online. The URL for the site is

I click there every day, and every click helps to fund mammograms across the USA. There is also the option to buy stuff or just donate cash.

Good luck with the book

Polli (mum of 2 from the UK)

Anonymous said...

My husband and i first read your auction, just like a million other people. That is how i found you. All i have to say is wow. I myself have 3 children, one of which is ADHD, and i know the joys and triumphs of parenting. Continue what you're doing, you are bringing laughter to many people.

From a mom who hasn't laughed in a long time.

Kim VanDerHoek said...

O.K. Is there any way to see a copy of what you wrote in this famous auction I keep reading about? I missed it and now the plagerized version is gone so I'll never know what this whole funny, brilliant auction was all about. PLEASE fill me in!!

Anonymous said...

Ah yes 'work it out'. I often used to wonder if after they'd 'worked it out' if one killed another, would that put me out of my misery. *sigh*. Two don't work anything out!

You're kinder than I am though ~ when I'm told something is really hurting I ask:

ME: Is it bleeding?
ME: Can you still walk?
KID: Yes
ME: Is it falling off?
ME: Are you gonna die?
ME: Oh, then you're OK.
KID: Yeah really hurts
ME: Ok, chop it off and it won't hurt anymore.
KID: Ohhhh...Muuuuuuummmmmmm.
I've managed to teach the office staff at school: NO SYMPATHY, or they keep coming back! When it relates to my kids anyway.

Thanks for the laugh ~ you're good for a mother's soul!

Bri said...

I have been dealing with the "He started it" comments all summer. I am counting down the days until school is back in session, T minus 10 days!! Sometimes letting them hash it out backfires and instead of one kid crying now Ive got 4! Just yesterday I thought I was going to have to string them up by their toes just to have a moment where someone wasn't screaming, or throwing something, or playing in the toilet. Thank you so much for you blog, I can never wait til I get that email saying "New blog." It really helps me to know Im not the only one bordering on the edge of insanity :)

Julo said...

OH you are toooo funny!!!! I thought my home of 3 was bad. And I'm an only child! I'd love to have a playdate with your family!

Anonymous said...

You crack me up! You are making me feel like it can be done, and it's OK for kids to have bruises.

Anonymous said...

I totally relate with the "She started it". I have Four children myself and three of them can talk. So I hear "she started it" all the time. One of my girls will even tell ME that I started it. Because telling her NO was not what she wanted to hear. And I too lack consistency. I tell them to come to me instead of hitting each other, but I would spend my entire day sorting out what happened if I got involved with their argument. So all involved get in trouble.

Thanks for your blog. It brightens my day. I no longer feel like I alone have a crazy house.

Jen said...

I'm a Pre-K teacher (22 by myself, I feel your pain!), and I totally make my kids go work it out themselves. I actually read a gret book this summer called Postive Discipline: A Teacher's Guide from A-Z. It has a problem solving wheel of choice (like 8 ideas for them to solve their own problems). They have to try 2 before they come see you. I'm interested to see how it works this year (school starts Monday). Might be something to look into as well! :)

Anonymous said...

I was led to your blog by your ebay auction and I'm so hooked! I forwarded it to my Grammy and my mom and her 5 siblings, as well as my dad and his 3 siblings. They are all cracking up.
Anyway I wanted to let you know about All it takes is a single click to donate food to the hungry (the sponsors pay per click). I have it set as my homepage so I remember to click everytime I need to open a window. From that site you can reach a bunch of similar one-click-to-do-good sites including animal rescue, child health, and a breast cancer site. I'm pretty sure you can link their sites to your blog, though I haven't quite figured out how.
Thanks for the smiles! :)

Anonymous said...

OMGosh!!! I just read your auction on Ebay! I laughed until I cried!!! I have only 3 kids but nine times out of ten I have nieces and nephews with me too. I can sooo relate to the shopping experience! Some days I would rather have cream of ketchup-onion soup than drag everyone to the store!!! Anyway I just wanted to stop by and say THANK YOU for the laugh and letting me know that I'm not the only mom out there that goes through this in a
Have a great day!!!

Unknown said...

My 2.5 year old blames just about everything on our 5 month old or says, "I don't know who did it". Well, let's see....Addison doesn't move and I certainly didn't do it, I'm going to go with YOU!

You might want to consider they may have a banner. Plus, they have links to other charity sites such as the hunger site, the children's site, etc. GREAT IDEA!

I might also suggest donating to a child abuse organization or an organization for victims of abuse such as RAINN.

JenLo said...

I always get scared when I tell them to work it out. They usually do. But not the way I want them to!

Anonymous said...

I love the blog and I am really looking forward to the book. When my daughters were little I used the tried and true,"I dont care who started it I am going to finish it!". As my little girls have turned into teenagers those words usually get an eye roll or a "what-ever" responce. Can I just say that I really hate "what-ever"! It makes me crazy,,, ok more crazy. At my house conflict must be dealt with like a fight at a heavy metal concert, swiftly and on occasion with brute force. (I have also found tear gas to be counter productive.)

Jen said...

The "She hit me!" usually makes me run through the house screaming "SERENITY NOW! SERENITY NOW!"

Love your stuff!

I would recommend This is the website for Inflammatory Breast Cancer. It is deadly and often hits younger women then traditional BC.

Anonymous said...

Got the links to your EBay ad and blog from a MOMS Club member, sent it to everyone I know and posted it on BabyZone DDC Sept. 2007 board -- mainly because it's hilarious and you have a laid-back and readable writing style, but also because you are THANKFULLY normal. I really admire families like the Duggars (17 or so kids), the Sansones (10 kids), and various others. However, these families all appear to be perfect: organized, disciplined, cooperative, and harmonic. Which is great, for them. I, however, am not ANY of those things. So to hear the candid side of life with more than 4 kids is so wonderfully encouraging. So though it might scare some (especially all the first time moms on my DDC board, heh), I'm really glad you've become something of an internet celebrity. Ok I'm done. I'm pretty long winded, I know. Sorry =P

bigwhitehat said...

A great deal of good parenting is getting out of the child's way and letting him fend for himself. And the same goes for girls.

I hate it when parents try to micro manage their children.

Maria said...

I don't know if anyone has mentioned the Young Survivors Coalition. I have a dear friend that is a 10 year survivor of BC and she is on ly 33 now. She blogs for them every year in blogathon.

Andrea Hardee said...

lol -sigh- For the 30,000th time this week, can I say with the masses "I've done the same thing!!"

My kids will fight then tattle. I usually say some sort of parenting psychobabble like "did you tell him how you felt when he did that?" or "and what were you doing to him when he decided to put your homework in the toilet?"

But it's the same idea. "Don't hit back! Come talk to me!" and then "leave me alone, kid. Use the brains the Good Lord gave you."

Anonymous said...

When mine say "... started it..." I give them the vulcan eye and ask "do you want me to finish it?" (They know what that means... I bet you do too.) They always suddenly decide maybe it's not that big of a deal after all.

And my favorite of all Everybody Loves Raymond episodes is the one where one of the twins is all embarressed and doesn't want to go to school. Debra finally finds out why and she's telling Ray about it in the kitchen while Ally is there. She tells him that the twin called the teacher "mommy."

Ally pipes up... "why, was she screaming?" I get a fit of giggles every time I think about it.

Cathy ~ Tadpoles and Teacups said...

I'm not sure how I stumbled onto your blog--but as a mother of 4 I can really relate. I had 4 kids in 7 years and there are spaces of time that I just can't (or maybe won't) remember. One particularly hectic evening I was in a hurry to get myself and my kids out the door to some event-I was busy trying to finish supper, deal with a colic-ridden infant, answer a relentless ringing phone, and referee 2 toddlers. As I stirred the pot on the stove, I looked over my shoulder in a panic to the 2 oldest and asked, "Where's the baby?!" I was met with dumbfounded stares, as the oldest said, "Mom, you're holding her." Wow, and now 2 of those kids are in college. From a mom who's lived through to the other side, there is a light at the end of the tunnel and I'd never, ever trade the journey along the way! What a blessing.

Kindest wishes to you,
Cathy Nash

Rosemary Royce said...

I wanted to throw out a suggestion in response to your request. is a site endorsed by Kevin Bacon. You can create an account and choose a charity or charities you want your friends or readers to subscribe to. The site provides you with an HTML link you can then post to your blog.
It hope this helps!

Unknown said...

Did you know that Parents is looking for freelance writers? You should submit some of your writings to them. You can get paid :)

Rosemary Royce said...

Additionally, I would recommend doing a bit of initial research prior to choosing a charity to promote.
Many national charities have very high administrative costs. So 50% of donations could be going right in someone's pocket.
Will give you a good idea of what I mean. (It's late)

Daphne said...

Finding your blog is the best thing that has happened to me all week!(and that says a lot because my husband took both of my kids to NY to visit his family and told me I could stay here...awesome.) I saw a link to your eBay auction on another blog and was laughing so hard I was crying because you described your experience so so well. I'm so glad I'm not the only rambler out there. I just wanted to thank you for brightening my day.

Patricia Lessell said...

I love your blog. Now I've said it. Not many rules in my house when my children (3) were young but these were amongst them: 1. Nearly doesn't count - it has to actually happen - so he nearly hit me doesn't count. 2. Almost doesn't count either - he almost took my doll - doesn't count it had to happen for it to count. 3. I can tell you are lying by the lines on your forehead! Now how does that one work? Easy peasy - if they were lying and I said it the hand would go immediately to the forehead to cover up the so-called 'lines' I could see that were invisible to everyone else and if he or she wasn't lying then they didn't even try to cover his/her forehead.

I always said that as long as I did what was best for my children and not what was best for me I was doing ok and guess I did because our kids grew up just find and dandy and now we have grandchildren that are our reward for not having killed our children. Wait and your turn will come quicker than you think - trust me it just flies by.

You are doing a grand job and I envy you - it must be amazing.

Patti the displaced Yank xxx

Anonymous said...

I just have to say that you're an incredible person! Not just because you're raising the 6 kids and somehow haven't permanently damaged one, but because rather then profiting from this experience you're wanting to do even more good. You are truly a wonderful person and I hope that good things come back to you ten-fold!

Congratulations on your new found success!

Marilyn said...

Wanna know why I have dogs instead of children?

It's legal to crate train them.

Rachel said...

Hi! Just wanted to say that I'm loving your blog and had to share this little bit of insight that my mom used with my brother and I when we were growing up to settle arguments.

I'm 8 years older than my brother (I'm 22 now and he's 14, God help us all). When he was 4 and 5, he was pretty free with his hands, which led to a lot of yelling from me (being 12, of course I knew better than to retaliate!). My mom used to get very stony faced and tell him, "Robby, if you can't be nice to don't get to have a sister today!" My mom would GROUND him from me. On days like that, I wasn't allowed to be his sister.

And he'd burst into tears and just BEG my mom to take it back and he'd practically climb up my leg and into my arms and sob and sob until she'd relent. That was always the threat. "You don't want me to take your sister away from you, do you?!" "NOOOOOOOO, PLEEEEASE!"

I always thought it was a good way to remind littler kids of how much they love their siblings (in theory, at least!)


Elizabeth F. said...

Kids need to try and work things out for themselves. I don't think it is bad advice at all. I must say that same phrase 115 times a day! I think it helps children learn to get along with others, negotiate, and practice problem solving skills by working it out amongst themselves. Good for you!

Anonymous said...

I think the "work it out yourselves" thing is great. As the oldest of two, I always got blamed and punished for everything. As adults it hasn't changed at all and so we barely speak now.

On a side note, I was in the grocery this morning and heard kids crying, parents yelling, and had three boys behind me in the check out with Dad. I SO wanted to ask if there were any Pokeman Cards in that basket!

Anonymous said...

My husband, who rarely laughs at anything on the 'puter, was laughing hysterically so I had to run in to find out what was soooo funny. It was your blog & I soon joined him in laughing out loud. You're a funny lady who can make every day frustrations into something to laugh about. It's a God given gift. Thank you for sharing it with us.

FishMama said...

A book that has really helped me in this area is called Shepherding a Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp. He does a great job addressing that "he did it first" bit. I know you might not have a ton of time for reading, but it is a worthy book. I have five kids and it took me 6 months to get through it, not because it's difficult reading, but because I just didn't have the brain cells to focus on it. But, like I said, it is worth the time investment. Thanks for giving us all some laughs.

Anonymous said...

Urgh, my 3yo has even started with the 'it wasn't my fault, it was (insert name of one of many siblings)'. How DO they learn these things??

I also love Everybody Loves Raymond. Makes me feel better about my sometimes useless husband, my psychotic mother and my PMS.

And I don't know... Sometimes I think bosses deserve a good wedgie!


Anonymous said...

I think having some charity badges up on your blog is an awesome idea!

I have one on my blog for an Autism charity, as my son is autistic.

You could also do something for Make-a-Wish, as they are a fantastic organization for granting the wishes of children with terminal illnesses.

You can go to and choose a badge there or create your own. I used them for my badge and love how it came out.

Unknown said...

Having links to charities is a wonderful idea!!

Jacki Marie said...

Confiscation! That's a word my kids learned by the age of two. If I hear them fighting over something I have the right to confiscate it for as long as I choose to. It works. Still I have 5 kids ages 9 - 19.

Lisa said...

I totally relate to your not getting invovled. My favorite with my kids was "Mooom he's/she's chasing me" and I'd retort with "Well, he/she wouldn't be able to chase you if you weren't running!" I know...nice mom! LOL! Mine are now teens...shudder.. and now they argue over snack food they lay claim to (ummm last I looked, I paid for the groceries) or who gets the use of any electronic device in my home. Love your blog! Keep writing!

Anonymous said...

Dawn, you are hilarious! My best friend sent me a link to your ebay auction and I thought I was going to pee my pants reading it. Then I popped over here and there was MORE to giggle about. Thank you for making my evening. I only have 2 boys, not a half-dozen kiddos, but I can SO relate to many of your stories. Keep on bloggin' and I look forward to that book!

Unknown said...

Congrats on your surprise fame--this must be such a fun time for you and your family! Don't worry, I'm going to pass it on, so you can have even MORE emails to answer! ;) Good luck with the book--if you ever need an editor, I'm your woman!
PS: I'm the mother of three, a full-time college student and a full-time work-at-home mom--it's so great to know I'm not alone in the insanity!!

Connie and Mike said...

Oh my heck!!! I think you just stole my homemovies. I only had 5 kiddos, but in 8 years. The shopping thing...many times I left a store with a cart almost full and had to make an emergency trip back home due to the 3 year old plastered to the 'clean' floor screaming bloody murder. Oh those days were so much fun.

Thank you for allowing me a window to laugh... I took things far to seriously then and now as a gramma... oh well, it's just more fun.

I have saved your blog and will keep up with your wonderful life. We are now 35, 32, (would be 31 deceased), 30 and 27.

They all made it through their life past the teen years (surprise).

I have 9 wonderful grand'babies'. And it's much more fun and tons easier than 'the parent'!!

Keep laughing

Anonymous said...

If my kids aren't bleeding or in need of emergency medical care, they have to work it out themselves.

I only have 3 kids and everyday is an adventure. I can't imagine having more- but did recently after watching 2 other kids for a few days. It was hell on earth. (I think) I had 4 kids 3 and under and my 7 year old. The hardest thing I did was take them grocery shopping (what else, right?)

KATE said...

I am LOVING your blog! You're hilarious. I have 4 kids from 8 years old to a newborn. It's insane & we of course get no "instructions". I LOVE your blog, I have one too & I have to seriously try to think up "good" things to post some days! Thanks for being REAL! I appreciate it! I can completely relate with most everything you talk about! It's nice to know there are normal moms out there too, I do the same with the "Are you bleeding? or is someone unconscious? No, then go figure it out yourself!" There is no other way to deal with it, or we'd all end up in the corner twitching by the end of the day. (and, some days I still end up rocking & twitching in the corner!) Thanks for the blog post it's great!
You can link to mine if you'd like. It's

Anonymous said...

A great organization for breast cancer support is the Young Survival Coalition. I found you through women on their bulletin board talking about your auction. :)

WendyWings said...

Wow I would be hyperventalating if my blog had suddenly gotten so much attention. You have a GREAT style, and adding the button was a great idea too.

Anonymous said...

I am not sure if you are familiar with Mary Kay Cosmetics, but Mary Kay set up the Mary Kay Ash Charitable Foundation in 1996. It helps fight cancers against women (breast, uterine, cervical, and ovarian cancers) and is committed to end violence against women by providing grants to women's shelters and supporting community outreach programs. You can learn more about the foundation at:

Anonymous said...

Do you happen to know if it is Fox 19 in Cleveland or in Cincinnati?

LOVE your writing. Keep up the good work!

Anonymous said...

I have 2, count 'em, all of 2 kids. I don't know how you do it! But I had to drop a line and say Thanks! Thanks for making me feel a little less like I'm the only mom out there that loves her kids fiercely, yet can get just as crazy in the day to day with them.

Honestly, they are the most wonderful little creations on this Earth, and the most maddening at times! Your distinct touch of humor puts everything into persepctive. I'll be a regular reader from now on!! With laughs like these, how could I pass it up?

Anonymous said...

I found the link to your Pokemon sale on and as I read thru it, I started giggling like a loon, making my 7 yr. old come running in from the kitchen (where, knowing her she was prolly ready to commit mischief). She asked me "Mama, what's so funny?" I was still giggling so hard I couldn't answer clearly so it came out sounding like some foreign language. She gave me a dirty look so I just pointed at the computer screen and attempted to calm down. I finally managed to tell her I'd explain it to her after she was a parent in 10-15 years.

Reading your blog too had me remembering some of the crazy things she's done.. I only have one child but sometimes I swear there's 3 or 4 more running around here that the doctor forgot to tell me about. She's 7 going on 2 some days. LOL During the last winter olympics she got it in her head that she wanted to go ice skating because she saw it on TV. Her creative juices kicked in and she decided to build her own indoor "rink" in the kitchen by pouring a full salt shaker all over the floor! Naturally she didn't tell me anything about it because I was in another room and it was to be a "surprise". It was surprise all right, it gave new meaning to the word slippers as I went sliding across the floor, just managing to grab the fridge door handle before I went down. I gave her what for and cleaned it up, dumbly thinking she wouldn't do it again.. WRONG! Next night she used the PEPPER shaker! LOL Good thing I'm blonde, it hides the gray hair better. :D

Anonymous said...

Your blog has certainly gotten a lot of attention and you deserve it. You are an excellent writer and I'm hoping you do write a book. I heard about the cards via a friend's blog. When I told my son he said Mom sell my pokemon cards. lol I told him that it was all in the writing. lol

I think the donate button to a charity is a wonderful idea by the way.

Anonymous said...

Ok.. I am all caught up now and I see I am probably the last person on earth to find out about YOU and your great, lively children! I have to say, I love it all, just as everyone tells you, and I laughed as I read each story.. but instead of relating to your motherhood skills and antics, I thought of my recent marriage. I have two girls who are almost grown I guess, one is still at home, age 16, the other is 23 and on her own - YES! But I married later in life - after my children, actually I was 40 when I married a man who was 15 years my senior - by AGE ONLY.

As I read your stories of your children and all the fun stuff they do each and every day, I don't even think of my kids when they were young, instead I actually think of my husband - how he is NOW!

This man cracks me up daily with all his antics, and how he mimics everyone and every THING he sees! He will watch a bug fly into a wall and go splat, then try to do the same! He will look at a tree that's leaning, and he'll just stand there, slowly leaning to look like the tree! He is an unusual man, but I wonder, maybe I should sell more stuff on ebay using HIS antics! Why not?

And the fact that people are trying to give you money, I love that thought, but just keep selling on ebay – I’ve never seen anything sell for so much more of a profit!!! You're adding sunshine to so many lives - and we ALL need more sunshine! Plus, donating to St. Jude’s is great too, and breast cancer as well – my personal two favs for donations.

Thanks for being out there, and thanks so much for sharing!
Jane form Long island - land of cawfee!!!

Unknown said...

I often ponder that very same thing. I tell my kids to work it out, but when they work it out THEIR way, I get mad and say "you should have come to me". LOL I just keep hoping that they never catch on, because I would hate to have to explain my thinking on that one!

KATE said...

Okay, I have to write more. I just went back & looked at past posts. Your blog is GREAT! I have to tell ya, I had a crazy kill me & put me outta my misery experience at the doc office & did a blog post about it. I got NO comments, & really was starting to think people thought I was horrible for writing about how insane things were. It's so nice to hear that I'm not crazy & my kids are normal! Thanks so so much!!

Anonymous said...

I found your E bay post through a friend of a friend and love it. I have enjoyed reading it so much. I can't wait to hear more. I was wondering how your kids came by their nick names. Baby is fairly obvious, but I'm curious about the rest.

Becky said...

Your stories remind me a lot of my childhood...the way you handle things is just like how my mom handled things, and I'm happy to say, all 5 of us have turned out to be well-adjusted members of society who learned early to roll with the punches life hands out. Same with my husband's family (where there were 6 kids). Big families rock! God Bless you and yours...we love your blog!

Lisa said...

I have not laughed so much since Erma Bombeck.

Anonymous said...

I have to add my voice to many others' who have left comments. I found you through Suzanne Brockmann's message board (she's a romantic suspense novelist). I loved the E-Bay auction, and I love your blog. :) It has immediately been bookmarked as a favorite site! You have an amazing voice, and if you write that book, I'll buy it.

I only have two kids who are now 22 and 19, but I remember fights over the computer and T.V. I, too, would let them work out their own problems (unless it got physical; then I'd intervene!). As a single mom, it's incredibly difficult and challenging. Thank you for making me smile!

Anonymous said...

You are a very funny gal and with six kids to keep it coming. I am sure you will keep us all in laughter and tears for years to come. I come from a family of six children also. I have four brother and an identical twin sister. I relate to many of your stories since we were all very close together in age. I have two grown children and two grandchildren now and they sure have their antics don't they? I have laughed and cried and read some of these things to my husband and he laughed too.

I found your eBay listing on our RV.Net webiste and here is the link
to a thread about old fella(A dog) who is well known because he was rescued by a man from the woods. There is quite a following and a book and movie are in the works. There is a foundation setting up for the old fella rescue for unwanted animals to help place these animals in loving homes and for spay and nueter and veterinary services.

I am telling you about this because I thought you might be interested in having a button for donation to this cause as well as St. Jude and Breast Cancer. All charities are needing funding and old fella is needing funding as well since it is new and a startup rescue. The link will take you to the thread on Old Fella the old dog rescued from the woods, he had heartworm and almost died from the treatment, his foot is missing partly from a trap injury, he was missing most of his teeth and has been loved and cared for and now there are many followers all over the world. It is truly a heartbreaking and tear jerking story of love and compassion for abandoned animals. Will you take a look at it for your other followers? Thanks from all of us camping friends. Here is another link
it will take you to many other stories about old fella and the works that have happend because of him.

Thanks for your stories and taking the time to read this.

Connie-aka Fulltimegrams22 on

Anonymous said...

As the mother of one child, I wish it was true that I didn't hear "She started it". Unfortunately, it happens even with one, albeit not as frequently as you experience. I definitely have a similar parenting style as you and find it refreshing to read your posts. So many people fear looking like "bad parents" and end up acting like "super parent" instead. I'm human, I make mistakes and just hope my daughter will understand as she gets older. If not, at least I've given her plenty of fodder for her own blog at some point. LOL

I love the idea of using your new found noteriety to help charities!

Anonymous said...

I myself peddlersshed sells on ebay and am a full time referee of my own house full of offspring including extra neighbor children find life quite consuming, sleep deprived and NO PAY. Oh yes I do LOVE ALL MY OFFSPRING Even the one who is actually my spouse. I have often told my spouse OH survival of the fittest when he tells me do something about them, make them stop. In the real world this is just how it is. My sister shared the pockemon listing story with me. What a laugh. I mentioned it to my teenage son who after a few sentences then pulled up a seat to listen to the story but had to go for what he said was a refreshment, c glass of pepsi. Just a little more caffine before bed. Oh well! Were actually spending time together. When we got to the part about your seventh child teaching the cart race and it being your husband, my son laughed so much he chocked on his mouthful of pepsi. We can't always be there so they do need the chance to figure out how to work out the battles without the fist fight that knocks your youngests front teeth loose ( Thankfully they are all still there and nice and tight for now). May we all stay sane till they leave the nest! And as my sister asked me what will we do when they all leave! I guess we will referee the grandchildren until we go out to the pasture>

Anonymous said...

I just saw your eBay auction today, that was absolutely hilarious! You definitely have a gift and I hope that you do channel your creativity into a book (in all your spare time? haha)

As for selecting charities, is a great site that evaluates charities by multiple criteria, including how efficiently they use their funds. You can search by topic (i.e. breast cancer) or by charity (i.e. Susan G. Koman) and find out more info.

God Bless you in your amazing journey! : )

Smellyann said...

(Found you on eBay)

I, too, am forever using "Work it out yourselves!" Mine are 2, 4, almost 6 (and an angel) and are always in these situations! Best of luck to you - I'll be back. :)

Anonymous said...

Have 9 kiddos myself (18yrs-16m), navy wife of 16yrs (ok,so we started before we took the vows, we've been working it out with God ever since and yes, he DOES have a sense of humor!) Can just imagine what I've spent the last 18yrs listening to and witnessing. It gets crazy, funny, rewarding and exhausting. If you're looking for laughs that don't involve your own families antics, you can check out my site and blog @

God Bless!

Anonymous said...

Thank you!..

I am a mom of four ( 9, 7, 4, and 1 month) and i want more! HAHA!

I can totally relate with you

Kudos to you for the awesome mom you are!

Have an great day!

Sally Datria said...

I am a mother of four (5.5 years between #1 and #4) and honey, I feel your pain...on top of that, I am a teacher and I get all the greatest stories...Usually I give them a choice, 1) you can solve the problem and never mention it to me again OR 2)I can solve the problem for you....which do you think you would prefer?? For some reason (grin) they ALWAYS pick door #1!!! I do this when my students are misbehaving in class also...I tell them "solve my problem or I'll solve it for you..." Most of the time, I never see the behavior again. I'm a BIG fan of children solving their own issues...

Student: I can't find my math homework.
ME: Wow, that's a bummer, hopefully you'll work that out because there is a 10% dock for every day it's late. Good luck with that.

Student: I lost my spelling list.
ME: Gee, that's too bad, Good luck with finding that or copying it from a friend. Don't forget the test is tomorrow.

Student: I lost my English book.
ME: Really?? Well, I hope your paper route pays really well because it costs $35 to replace it.

The really INTERESTING thing is that ALMOST always, they find the missing item. Now, if it's homework it might not be DONE, and if it's a lost book it might be missing a few pages...they are gambling on the fact that I will come to their rescue on a white horse, when I tell them to walk they usually make it on their own and end up a more responsible citizen in the long run. Plus, I have way fewer headaches which is a BONUS!!

Thanks for the insight...and the laughs!!

mommytobetotwins said...

i REALLY REALLY hope you are serious bout writing a book. OMG! i would buy it in two seconds. haha i literally sit here and READ ALLLLL the blogs and just find myself laughing and relating so so well. i am due with twin boys any day now and i can not wait! to start blogging about them and the stuff that happens.. oh man! i highly doubt any of our day to day activities will come close to yours but... i give you so so much credit and you make me so so proud to be a mommy! :] you're amazing! and i think you should def. write a book because if i know the world... i know they will EAT up what ya have to say like all of us mom to bes :]] good luck!

Anonymous said...

Hi there. I'm yet another new reader from the eBay thing. Thank God you have a blog. I not only laughed but snorted.

See you 'round.

Anonymous said...

I love your blog, the auction, everything! I wish I lived near you, so I could ask your kids to come and play with mine. I have five, wanted more, and ended up finding out that the added bonus of Asperger's Syndrome and ADD/ADHD that was handed out with all four boys was a lot to tackle. My youngest, the girl, probably has ADD. I laugh because your blog is my life.
From poopy bits of torn up toilet paper all over the freshly cleaned carpet, to interupting the lady from "Poison Control" with a more urgent possible poisoning (from the same little boy, who got into something else in the 30 seconds it took for me to find the room he ran off to), to a large sink full of tonight's "dinner"--a large plastic scorpion, submerged in hot water, covered in pepper & who knows what else--I am right here with you!! Misery loves company, and I certainly find you good company!
Three cheers for a mom who knows how REAL life with-- (I am sure this is the reason they are the way they are) *ahem*-- highly intelligent children can be! It doesn't get more "real" than that.
I will buy your book for everyone on my Mother's Day list when you publish it!! I will recommend it to everyone I know!
You should be able to turn some of these great memories into cash, even if it is only to repair the damage caused during the making of said memory!
Soon to be a long time reader, & already loyal!!--Mingra

Anonymous said...

I'm so happy,that I found You,and this blog.It's such an inspiration!I've got a son,but we'd like more children,by reading this funny,crazy(and very intelligent)blog,I'm looking forward to have these problems,like He started it!!!!Who do I have to pray to,if I want to buy your book in Hungary???Whatever,I'll order it on the net!!:)Thank You for being here!!!Anett from Hungary
Ps.:I loved your childhood pictures,not You were only looking like a boy...after a haircut an old men thougt I'm a boy...thanks Mum...:)

Anonymous said...

I just had a thought. I hate to be a negative Nancy and all, but it makes me feel a little uneasy. When your wonderful Ebay ad was plagerised, everyone was up in arms, and rightly so. Ebay fixed it, good on them! Shouldn't they be getting their cut for the original pokemon Ad? The same one that bought everyones attention to you? It just seems a little mean spirited for the winner of the Auction to bypass Ebay and send the money directly to you. Maybe it's just me? And yes, she popped a check in the mail so Paypal wouldn't take a cut.

Anonymous said...

If you are interested to know how far popular you became, here it is: I work in Qatar, got a link to your hilarious ebay posting from my friend in Dubai. Going to forward it to my friends in Russia. So you are popular all over the world! Congratulations!

Anonymous said...

You need to remember what a friend of mine told me, she happens to be a mother of six too. You are your children's coach, not their referee. I've found it a useful bit of advise even though I only have three kids(which can at times seem like six!).

Carla said...

Love this post!! :)

You may NOT want to give to a charity such as Susan Komen. They give to Planned Parenthood, the nations largest abortion provider. I am just assuming you are prolife, I guess. :O

You are such a fun read and I am proud to add you to my blogroll.

Anonymous said...

"Serenity now!"


I used to play Seinfeld trivia game with a friend of mine. We would e-mail questions back and forth and try to stump each other.

For instance: ...What did Kramer want to put on his "make your own pizza" pizza that made Poppy so upset?

Anyhoo...I just HAD to chime in when I saw you were a Seinfeld fan. You just moved up on the speed dial!


~FL (I'll look for your intereview in The Times.)

Rebecca said...

I am so excited that you are writing a book. I'm looking forward to hearing more about it being available for purchase. So is that all that I have to look forward to? My kids are 3 & 10 months so I don't get any of the 'he did this, she did that' yet.

"I mean, one day they might just have a boss who they don't especially like. They won't be able to just dump coffee out on his desk or give him a wedgie." I almost spit out my coffee because I thought of a boss that I wanted to do that to, well except for the wedgie - ew.

Anonymous said...

Hi Dawn,

I'm loving your blog! This one was especially familiar to me as I have 2 daughters 19 months apart. I used to send them to their room to work it out (after asking, "Am I wearing stripes??!"). The amazing thing was, within about 2 seconds of closing the door (and thus removing the "audience"), they were playing like best friends! *shakes head*

Anyway, I have another suggestion for online donations. My husband is in the Army (active duty) and we were stationed in Hawaii for 2 1/2 years (had to leave, *sniff sniff*), and while we were there we became involved with the homeless outreach there in Honolulu. It is such an amazing ministry! I know that every major city has needs in this area, but my heart is somehow connected to the people I met (those reaching out and those being reached) there in Hawaii.

I found this statistic from an article on homelessness:

"Calif., N.Y. lead nation
California was the state with most homeless people in 2005, about 170,000, followed by New York, Florida, Texas and Georgia, according to the report.

Nevada had the highest share of its population homeless, about 0.68 percent. It was followed by Rhode Island, Colorado, California and Hawaii."

Here is the link to the mission we were involved in:

I hope some of your readers may take the time to visit the site.

Dawn, I am amazed at how far-reaching your blog has become. You are a blessing to so many! And I know that you are an example to us all of a mother whose children will rise up and bless! God's blessings to you and your family!!

P.S. You can visit my blog site someday when things calm down here:

Anonymous said...

My wife sent me your ebay auction with the pokeman cards via email. I did enjoy the story. She thinks people will buy into anything.

I think honesty can sell anything.

Kudos to you for being a strong female figure for your family. I enjoyed reading your blog, you have a wonderful looking family.

I only have one little girl who is 2. And one on the way in November. I know I will experience all that you have thus far with your family eventually.

Hopefully we stop at 2, but if God blesses us with more, you'll be hearing from me again:).

I have bookmarked your blog site and cant wait to see you on Oprah (dont act like that wont happen either, hehe). You are heaven sent and an inspiration to all parents. God bless you and your family.

@PCArtCreativity said...

Absolutely brilliantly funny - thank you so much for a wonderful laugh. My sister's adoptive daughter was born this morning at 00-20 and she has no idea really what fun and comedy children really can bring into our lives - ( I have three girls who were treasures too growing up - lol) I know she is only going to be mommy to one (for now) and has waited many years for this little bundle, but she has a fantastic sense of humour and will love your blog and auction xoxoxo

kay said...

blood or fire. that's my motto. if not work it out yourselves.

fav friends quote...

"it's a moo point" we use that all the time

josh is much nicer than drake. and they can work it out in a 24 minute show. ha

AMom said...

I think we could have crossed paths before somewhere... you are in Palatine? We used to live there - now we live near Wauconda. I was shopping in Whole Foods (Palatine) the other day and someone said to me (and I only had my three boys!) "Wow! You have your hands full!" And I thought of you. :) Because that day I was feeling overwhelmed, but if you can keep your sense of humor and laughter in the midst of what I know must be crazy days, then that gives me hope that I can too.

I usually don't "do" Mom groups... I don't know what gave me such a distaste for them... too serious and too one-sided (as in only talking about children - shouldn't we take advantage of our time with fellow adults and women to talk about non-child things as well?) but if you were open to it, I would definitely be willing to "do" a moms group with you... and people like you. :) We could all dance a little jig while the kids are in school... my oldest doesn't start until after Labor Day - and I don't meet for coffee... I dance too. :)

(uh oh . my nose alerts me to a Code Red diaper situation... gotta run)

Anonymous said...

you need 6 They have a "charity badge" that you put right on your website. An organization called network for good collects donations from your website, and then sends checks each month to the charities you designate. I work for a nonprofit that benefits from this service - and it is awesome for all involved. Of course, Kevin Bacon helped launch the whole thing "6 degrees" as a way for celebrities to support thier favorite charities on thier website. Now thier slogan is that anyone can be a celebrity for charity. Check it out!

Anonymous said...

I never understood blogs until I found this one via your eBay auction.

I still don't understand why most people blog, but I do read yours.

I'm a stay-at-home dad with a 15 year old son and a 13 year old daughter and I think it's safe to say that they will be held accountable for the bulk of my grey hair as I still hear variants of "he said/she said" debate, one such incident just this morning.

The worst part was I hadn't even had a coffee and was somehow expected to dispense the wisdom of Solomon with my eyes still gritty from sleep and my tongue tasting like the dog had sat on it.

I'm told that when you get to be a grandparent is the time for payback so I'm going to pray that I ([i]or the kids![/i]) live long enough.

Pax vobiscum

Anonymous said...

I only have two, and it sounds like you're hiding in my house taping my kids' conversations. Do they count as conversations when they're held at decible levels high enough to shatter your eardrums?

Oh well, they're cute.. right? Right?!

Unknown said...

My next to the oldest daughter forwarded your E-Bay auction to me and I about laughed myself sick. I have 5 kids (all grown, 34, 28, 23, 22 and 17), but I remember when they were younger! When my 23 and 22 year olds were younger I babysat, so always had 7 or 8 kids in tow. Believe me, the "work it out" comment was said alot! As was the "are they all yours?"

Now I drive school bus, so have 30 to 60 "kids" that I get to say "work it out" to!

Anonymous said...

My two boys are famous for using the second I get on the phone as their cue to need a moderator. I had to institute the following rule: Unless you're bleeding or on fire, don't interrupt me while I'm on the phone. It confuses them long enough so that I can finish a conversation and then make the little one return the lego to the bigger one, or some other such emergency.

Thanks so much for your blog, you make my day!


Trish said...

St. Judes is a fantastic charity. I work for Dominos Pizza, actually, we're in the process of buying a franchise. Dominos works very closely with St. Jude. My sister died of leukemia when I was 8 and she was 7, so it's a charity near and dear to my heart.

And, as for the rest of the blog, I swear we were seperated at birth. Although my quiet instigator is too dumb to not do it when others can see it. But he still does the "Wha? I didn't do anything" routine.

Anonymous said...

Someone on our e-loop linked to your ebay post, then I HAD to visit your blog. Love it!!

Bill Cosby says that you're not a real parent until you have more than one kid. That's when the "don't touch me's" and the "he started it's" begin. My favorite thing that I found myself yelling since having three boys has been: "Put your brother down and close that window!!!"

Kathy D.

super des said...

I like th kids' way of solving things. Next time I have a boss I don't like, I think I am going to try just dumping his or her coffee on his or her desk. It would feel so good.

Anonymous said...

Hi Dawn

You make me laugh :) and I feel what you feel in this parenting journey (I have 2 small monsters at home too ;p)

Keep bloggin and are you really going to launch a book? If so, please share the details. And also any idea how I may listen to your interview (I am based in Singapore, as a matter of fact).

Way to go :)

Freya said...

I am a mother of 5 with one on the way. I so know what you go through on a day to day basis. There are days I wake up and think am I crazy. Then I answer myself and say of course you are. Who else would willing have so many children. LOL!!!
I love my kids and they are so cute when they are sleeping. (winks)
Have a great day.

Catherine said...

We are closet sisters. I have six kids as well, but it sounds like I'm a little further down the road, as I have two married (yes, they eventually leave) and just had my first grandbaby 3 weeks ago. It's the end of summer here and school starts tomorrow. You've been spying on my kids, haven't you, because I've had the "he started it discussion" so many times this week, I could spit.
You go, girl, I'm pulling for you!

Anonymous said...

OOOH! Everybody Loves Raymond - best line ever. Raymond telling Debra that he's thinking of going to Las Vegas with his brother for a week. Debra says, "yes, I think you should go. And while you're there, find out the odds of me being here when you get back!"

Love that line!

Dana Dane said...

i read alot of your stuff on ebay and found your blog via that.
i read alot of people asking you for a friend got his book published vie and after you sell a certain number of books there they are available via isbn numbers to retail stores. good luck

MrsEvilGenius said...

OMG, I SO use the "are you bleeding?" thing.

I sell cancer awareness items in my online store and I donate a portion of every sale to my local hospital. They have a cool deal wherein one can specify where the donation goes (in my case it's to the breast cancer section and the pediatric cancer section).

A 'Donate' button on the blog is a FAB idea!

Addies Designs said...

love love love your blog. Attention well deserved. Can't wait for your book to be out, cause I'll stand in line to read it.

I'm writing my autobrigraphy on my blog, but could never phathom success like yours. What a lucky girl you are.


Alicia Sharp said...

Parenting is never easy! You just have to go with the punches! Sounds like to me that you have it all under control! ;)

agent713 said...

My favourite quote from a kid who's sister got too close (in his opinion) was "Mooooooooom, she's ruining my LIFE"

Sonya said...

I'm loving your blog. It brings back many memories of my childhood and the things I did to my little sisters. Yes, I bit one in the head, put worms in the other one's bed, and was constantly saying that SHE started it when it was more often me. Oh the joys.... My girls are 2 and 9 months, so I'm sure once the little one can talk I'll be hearing many of the same things you do. Thanks for sharing in the humor that comes with raising children. Sometimes during my worst frustrations I just sit myself in the floor and laugh. None of it is life threatening and they will survive....but I do get frustrated until I take a step back to get a realistic perspective. It's childhood, it didn't kill me but it probably scarred my parents and the same will be true for my girls.

Tara said...

OMGoodness this post just hit home and makes me feel all warm and fuzzy to know that I am not alone in my "work it out yourself" approach, Thanks for making my day!! LOL!

Unknown said...

I found your eBay Pokemon auction page via another blog. Read it, laughed hysterically and found your blog via your comments.

Just thought you'd like to know. I highlight a blog every week that has either made me laugh, cry, do something or ponder. You won this week. Congratulations!

Anonymous said...

I only had one son (he's almost 18 now) but he always blamed one of the cats when something went Love reading your stuff. Let me know when the book is out! haha I will be sure to buy it!

Venita said...

Hi Dawn,

Bless you for wanting to donate to a breast cancer organization. I am currently in breast cancer treatment, and I know how difficult it can be getting resources.

If you have a local cancer center, that might be a thought. My cancer center has some discretionary funds and they helped provide funds to hire a private duty aid for my bedridden husband when I was recovering from a mastectomy.

Another thought is a new group, Cleaning for a Reason. The Foundation finances the cleaning of homes for women with cancer.

Bless you for your caring heart and your sense of humor.

Anonymous said...

Correct me if I'm wrong, but the "negative nancy" is misunderstanding what you were saying about your friend throwing a check in the mail so PAYPAL doesn't get a cut. EBay will most definitely get their share regardless of how the buyer pays, so you need not concern yourself with "poor eBay" and being fair to them. They also own PayPal, which is great except they charge an ADDITIONAL fee if you use them and try to use your charge card for the purchase. Dawn and her friend didn't cheat any one from their cut; they were being smart and not giving an EXTRA cut to ANOTHER party for a payment method they didn't need to use to get the job done.

Unknown said...

Thank you for sharing that Breast cancer link. I have added it to my message board. What a great cause to support.


Lisa said...

Loved your ebay auction!

I'm 4th in a family of 9 (the youngest is only 5 years old right now) so this post reallllly reminded me of the good ol' days- but from the kids perspective! I loved the bit about sneaking cat food in.

BeetleMama (Life of a Bug) & Bu (Dylan's Day) said...

Oh the comments you never thought you'd say are eclipsed by the self explaining comments that require no further details for you to pass judgement, such as "Moooommy, Sasha (dog) bit me when I was vacuuming her".

Loved the auction, put the link everywhere. We have one child with the attention span of a gnat and a weirdness quota way above Einsteins IQ. Currently shouting "Who wants to be a corn head?" well, who the hell knows?

Heike said...

I have two that fight ALL THE TIME!! Now we are homeschooling, and more than not I ask myself if I am CRAZY????

Like you, I have decided to make them work it out themselves. In their room or anywhere else in the house where I am not. "I will not referee you two" seems like their last name :). Our GS puppy has taken over the referee role and jumps in between them when they argue, and it is actually quit funny. He/she started it gets no where with me, they both get in trouble for straining my genteel nerves :).

I can't even imagine having this threefold!

Crazy Lady said...

Just wanted to say Thank you for the laugh today. Can't wait for the next on... Have a great day...I'll see you in Fox, I'll try to starts tomorrow...Woo-hoo!!!
Thanks again. ^_^

WendyK said...

Thank you so much for choosing St. Jude to donate to. My 2 year old has leukemia, and although he is on a COG protocol (don't worry I won't explain the difference), the research at St. Jude benefits all cancer kids as well as other diseases.

I have to say that your blog is too funny, and even though I only have 3, I can so relate. The work it out mentality and mixed messages that comes with it is exactly the way it works in our house as well. If I hear one more so and so hit me I will absolutely scream some days, so just work it out, but no hitting LOL.

Anyway enjoy the kids, they grow up too fast, and have a great day!

Anonymous said...

My favorite quote from a friend, when her little brother was annoying her,is "will you just stop breathing"?

I have 9 little angels, ages 17 to 11 mo. I work full time to get out of the house. And the money, which pays for the commuter car and my newish 15 passenger van, is nice too. :)

mommeeof9 on livejournal

Anonymous said...

A friend of mine forwarded your ebay auction to me. It was GREAT!! I am also a SAHM and have 2 boys, ages 6 and 4. I haven't laughed so hard (out loud) in awhile. I too forwarded your auction to several of my friends. You should seriously have your own show. So many of us can relate to you.
Best of luck with your book and thanks for sharing your adventures with us. Take care, Mom in Iowa :-)

Anonymous said...

You're absolutely right about the "Work it out yourself." I read somewhere several years ago that children whose parents stop the bickering and the squabbling before they are resolved by the children don't allow the children to LEARN how to resolve disputes. (It didn't put a time limit or a volume level on the bickering and squabbling, however....)

I'm really enjoying your blog. My son is 20, and he's the only one, so I'm beyond the memorable experiences you're living through now, but I empathize, and I think you're helping more people than you know. "Misery loves company" doesn't mean that if I'm miserable I want other people to be miserable. It means that if I'm miserable, having someone share THEIR miseries gives me a better context for what I'm going through, and gives me HOPE that I'll come through it on the other side.

Keep up the good work!


Anonymous said...

Not only will I buy your book, I will buy a copy for every single one of my mom friends and sisters.

I am one of seven kids, all born within approximately ten years. No twins. My parents were constantly asked if they were Mormon or Catholic. My mom would respond, "Neither. Just ignorant Protestants."

My sisters each have four kids, so I'm sure they'll be here reading your blog. They'll be laughing as hard as I do.

*Tanyetta* said...

this is my son--I have one of those. The kind of kid who can't walk down the hall without reaching out and swiping at the sibling he passes. 'What? Who me? What did I do? I was just walking down the hall!'

i loved this post!!! very very cool.

Anonymous said...

Well, ya know what, we MAKE our children talk to one another and try to work it out first. WITH WORDS...not violence. B/c THIS is biblical. The Bible tells us to go to the person that has sinned against us...then we may bring in another to help if needed. So our children MUST go to one another first and we are ALWAYS available if that doesn't work! Parenting is no easy job! :)

Ganeida. said...

lol. One of mine threw a discus threw a window ~ from inside! Don't ask. I have 5. I'm sure you can read between the lines.

Melly said...

I just wet my pants laughing out loud. I have one of those kids too, my middle daughter, our little "Tom-boy".
Oh yes "what?who me?" sounds very very very familiar.
And "are you bleeding?" sounds very familiar too.....ugh
thanks for this post and for keeping up the HARD but GREAT work, i adore you....can't wait to see that book published!
Love and hugs

Anonymous said...

I only have two, but I've heard all of the above complaints. I have an ADD boy with tactile problems who can't stand to be touched. Of course his sister is "touchy feely" to the max! The jokes on me!!!

When I hear "HE/SHE STARTED IT!", my standard response is "Maybe, BUT YOU DIDN'T END IT!". The rule is they come to me first, before responding to the initial offense to get direction from "the relational expert" -HA! If they don't do that, then they get no sympathy from me. (Unless of course they are, as you say, bleeding or with bones protruding.)

That's great that you would use your gift to give! I think the Lord has a special place for people like you!

Ed Hausen said...

Another great charity hospital is Shriners Hospitals for Children. They treat children who have been severely burned and children with orthopedic problems, babies with cleft lip and pallet and children who have had spinal cord injuries. The hospitals are 100 percent free of charge to the patients and their families. Children are accepted as patients if the medical staff feels that the child's quality of life can be improved by medical treatment. Patients are accepted regardless of race, nationality, creed, religion or relationship to a Shriner.

I love reading your work. I will be one of the first to buy your book.

Ed Homrighausen
Director of Volunteers
Shriners Hospitals for Children - Houston

Anonymous said...

I have no children but I love reading about yours. You are so funny and you brighten my day. I was told last year there would be no children for me so I love to watch and read about other families. Thank you for sharing with me.

Anonymous said...

My cousin forwarded me your ebay sight...I laughed so hard that I cried. And now your blog is a true comfort for me. I am a single mother of 6 children, the oldest is nine the youngest is two. It is so nice to know that I am not the only one experiencing these things!!
You have brought a smile to my face and a true comfort.
Thank you!!

Unknown said...

I know your suffering. My husband and I have 6 of our own (4 months to 14 years). Are we crazy? probably! but it does make cleaning the house faster! We usually resort to a military style of parenting, since we are both air force brats. Our children line up single file in the grocery store. As I walk down the isle, they all stand behind me and I hand the one directly behind me a product, they rush around me to put it into the cart, and then go to the back of the line. This is the only way I can make it through the store in under 2 hours. It may make your trips more enjoyable. It is worth a try...maybe your kids will love it as much as mine do. Take care...and remember, when they are all out of the house, we will be too tired to enjoy it (LOL).

Unknown said...

I loved your ebay auction-it provided a laugh when I desperately needed one.

I totally related to the denial of responsibility.
My latest was my daughter holding a glass of chocolate milk and a chocolate milk stain next to her on the couch and
her saying 'I wasn't me'
and I said 'how did it get there'
she says 'I don't know it wasn't me'
and I say 'I am not mad, you are only human and spills happen so let's try again...'
her 'it wasn't me'
My kids alternate being being loving and getting along to killing each other with the oldest thinging he is the parent and sending the other to her room etc.

what a rucous. I can just imagine the noise level in your house.
School starts here after labor day and I am looking forward to it!

That Gal said...

Trying again...

I know it seems childish of me to some people, but I join in the whinefest. Drives the kids just as crazy as it does me, and they eventually start laughing and get through the ordeal. I have to admit there are times when I just don't want to hear it and blow a small gasket, but the other method is the norm. I think they start whining at times just so we can play the game. (They are 13, 12 and 8.)

Kristina said...

You are very generous to consider promoting charities through your blog.

As a breast cancer survivor, I thank you for choosing breast cancer as your charity. My favorite breast cancer charity is Komen for the Cure ( as they have low administrative costs, a very high rating amongst charities, and they do amazing work on both the research front for breast cancer as well as in helping underserved populations get breast cancer information, screening, and treatment.

Whatever you choose, keep up the great work, and thank you for the laughs!

Anonymous said...

In regards to sibling rivary and mom always having to step and and work it out, Ginger Plowman (in her awesome book "Don't make me count to three!") points us back to Matthew 18:15 where we should first try to solve the matter with our brother in private, then if he will not listen to take it to one or two others (that being mom in this case). It doens't always work, of course, but it has been a good expample for teaching my kids to not always "tattletale" and bring them back to God's word and his instruction on the matter. Thanks for your posts...I LOVE reading your stories!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Love your blog! Motherhood is the hardest but most rewarding job there is.

All you mom's out there might get another chuckle from this:


Anonymous said...

gosh I am addicted to your blog now... I just love it!

As per the breast cancer fund...I know of this site you could put a link to, that all you do is have to click the button and it gives a free mammogram per click. Its great, free and everyone who visits your blog could do it daily. Please check it out!

Anonymous said...

Any chance you have a link to your interview?

Joy Z said...

Another fantastic resource for the sibling conflict is "THE YOUNG PEACEMAKER" by Corlette Sande. It helps kids to learn to respond to conflict biblically. Hope that might help.

Anonymous said...

LOVE your blogs...just came upon it cause a girl my husband works with forwarded me that ebay auction...too freakin funny...i only have 2 kids so you know i can understand the fighting...who started what when they say i favor one over the other...i also do daycare here in my home so i deal with 4 add'l children besides my own...but thats a whole 'nother story!! I look forward to reading more in the future...take care. Diane

Unknown said...

LOL!... in my house... my 5 1/2 yr old and my 4 1/2 yr old blame each other ... or they recently figured out how to blame their 2 yr old brother who doesnt talk much.. who goes on to blame his 9 month old brother of throwing all the toilet paper over the banister, or tearing all the clothes out of the dressers and scattering them throughout the upstairs, or climbing on the counter to reach the box of bisquick above the refrigerator and proceeding to dump it all over the kitchen and into a mixing bowl with milk and thinking it would be good alternative to cereal.

After im so fusterated i pick up my cell phone and dial randomly hollering im calling santa claus to find out whoever did it. whoever cries out "nooooo!" is the culprit

tho this probably works better with little kids....:/


Deanna said...

Girl, I just gotta say thank you!
Thank you for giving me such a good laugh! But, most important... Thank you from the kids at St. Jude! I work at St. Jude Children's Research Hospital and the donations of your readers will go to helping some great kids!
Next time you're in Memphis, stop by and take a tour!
Many Thanks!

Anonymous said... v=VlY8STkhopc

You are terrific, you must watch this little skit. It has been e-mailed to me as the Mom Song. I thought of you right away, enjoy!

Anonymous said...

Well said. The faster you can get yourself out of the "judge-and-jury" position, the better. It is so important that children learn to begin working it out on their own. It builds confidence in their communication, problem solving, etc. Keep up the good work!

Anonymous said...

Only fools or people without teens think that being a parent is easy!
I see you've learned that very important first question to any quarrel/fight... "Are you bleeding?" or "Is there blood?"
Smart woman!
I'm enjoying the list of complaints, but I see you missed one... it's the "I'm NOT touching you." (but the person's finger is a hairs breath away from the other one's face. Then there's the ever popular but ever painful... "He's making faces at me!"
Ahhh good times.
My kids are still alive, so, I can now say, good times, but, I'm not really fooling anyone. lol BIG HUGS, Steph

Anonymous said...

Wow. I must be a bad mommy 'cause when I hear "Benny hit me!" My response it usually, "Well, swat him back!" Of course I only have 3 boys, not 6 assorted, so it isn't likely to turn into a huge, room destroying brawl. My oldest are only 2 years apart, and closely matched, so it would be a fair fight. ;-)
Surprisingly, they fight less than my sister and I did growing up....we weren't "allowed" to hit each other - Yeah, Riiiiiiight!

Anonymous said...

Congratulations. I have lots of stories, but mine have all stayed in my head - crowded in there. Good luck with the book(s). Thanks for the laughs.

Rachel said...

I have gotten a kick out of the auction and now your blog! I am loving that there are people who still have large families. Whenever anyone asks how many kids I want...I say "at least 4" because I am afraid to give a number higher than that and scare people (a.k.a. guys) away. (And if it's a guy I usually say, "well I would like to have a couple" and leave it vague...for now.
But on to why i wanted to comment. St. Jude's and the Breast cancer foundation are GREAT cause to help out. I think that it is awesome that you are using your "fame" to help out others. I wanted to share another foundation with hopes that more people will know about it. I am a photographer that is in the midst of applying to become a part of it. It is (I don't want to be a downer, but be prepared to cry) I have a friend who just had her fourth child on friday and he is fighting for his life. He will be critical but in stable condition and then something happens and the doctors prepare the family for the worst. Being a photographer, to me, is about capturing those moments that parents may miss or not want to forget. (I started taking pictures while working at a day care and baby-sitting) When I found out what was going on, I told a family member that I was willing to take pictures if they wanted.
I wish that more parents we about this organization because we don't think of things like pictures when a child is so sick. It is something that you will never be able to go back and capture once a child is gone. My hope is to raise awareness anyway i can so that any parent or caregiver going through this can have a once in a life time opportunity.
You don't have to put a link up...It would be cool if you did. Children are such a precious gift and I thank you for taking the time to share yours with the world!



Brian and Schabahn said...

As a participant of the 3 Day Walk for Breast Cancer (Seattle, Sept 7,8,9/07) and I'd encourage you to consider the 3 Day if you are still looking for one. 85% of their donations go directly to the cause. Normally, one registers for a specific walk (60 miles over 3 days) in a specific city. But I know you can make general donations to the organization. Great blog! You do have a way with words and I'd look forward to a book!

Anonymous said...

Kudos to you for teaching them to work it out. My boyfriend has GROWN children living on their own who still call him and say, "DO you know what (one of their other GROWN siblings) did???" and expect him to do something about it. It drives me INSANE!!!!

~Mommy~ said...

For a breast cancer charity, try The film maker's website is

Thanks for sharing your story with the world. It definitely makes us all laugh. I keep a similiar blog, no where near your standards, mainly to keep family updated on the wee ones' antics.

Reading your blog means I'm normal. So THANK YOU!

Anonymous said...

You have very funny stories about your kids and that is great, its hectic I know me and my husband have 5 children they are all now teenagers.....oh wait it gets better..ha,ha,ha. But I just wanted to tell you I have lived your stories with my kids and honestley I would not change a thing if I had to do it all over again. Enjoy them while you can because one day you will stop and take a good look at life and realize where did the past 20 years of my life go. My oldest is a senior in high school this year, I can still remember his 2nd Christmas stuffing Mickey Mouse into his Fisher Price Kitchen oven, and that only seemed like yesturday. They grow up so fast so enjoy every moment you can. Take care.
Ginny Tregaskis

Unknown said...

When my kids were small and ran up to me to tattle on each other, I always stopped what I was doing, looked them directly in the eye and said, "Thanks for the report!" very enthusiastically. It made them feel better and it kept me informed. If there was a 'pattern' then I could interject and it kept them telling me things... spw

Anonymous said...

I just had to leave a comment after reading this installment of your blog. I am not a mother, I am however a nanny to a family of four boys. It has been an insane summer, full of fights and crying and blaming and name-calling....but school starts next Tuesday, and I will be left with one child during the day, and I couldn't be happier for it. Anyway...the point to this comment: I had this EXACT conversation with one of my boys today: "I don't care if your brother kicked you first, if any of your brother's kick you, you need to come tell me, not hit him back or kick him back, because then you will both be in trouble instead of just your brother being in trouble." I have so much respect for their mother. And while I am a long way off from becoming a mother myself, I still can't wait for the day, because despite moments like that, being around kids is very rewarding. Thanks for the insanely funny blogs! I'm sharing the link with every mother/nanny/child care provider I know!

victoria said...

i don't have any kids yet and after reading your ebay listing i might try to have negative kids. :) just kidding, it was hilarious, i work with a lot of families in need and families with young children.. i want to share your blog with all of them!! keep up the hard work!

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