Some of you may have wondered in the past, just how my kids got their wonderful artistic abilities. Well, look no more! I found these papers from when I was in kindergarten. I think they explain a lot. Let's take a look...
The first page - "All About Me"
As you can see, when I was in kindergarten, I had short black hair. And I bet you never knew I have one black eye and one purple eye. Oh, and let's not forget the fact that I had a chicken foot for a nose. Thank God for plastic surgery! Yes, I know I have a freakish joker-looking smile there. I think it's just because I was having so much fun drawing my self-portrait.
page two - "My House"
Yep, back in those days, I lived in a teepee. With a chimney. And a giant letter "E" on the roof. And two windows. And a door that didn't go down to the ground. You had to kind of hop up into the teepee-house. I have no idea what the red thing is on the right. Maybe one of my giant red teeth fell out.
page three - "My Hand"
Yep, it's my hand all right. Right after it was squished in a farming accident. And check out the nail polish job. Niiiice. If you look closely you can see rings on every finger. Or maybe those aren't rings. Hmmmm, it looks a little bit like I've drawn hair on my knuckles. Oh yeah, there's nothing quite so attractive as a 5 year old girl with knuckle hair.
page four - "My Feet"
Yes, they're dirty. Even back then I liked to go barefoot. And they appear to be fused at the heel. I'm either about to step on some eyeballs or a caterpillar with a water spout on its head. Maybe my feet are supposed to be a butterfly in which case the clouds are a nice touch.
page five - "My Favorite Color"
Any guesses as to what my favorite color was? Anyone? Anyone? As you can see, I was highly creative back in the day. Assorted checkerboards, an asterisk, and um, hmmm, fluffy clouds? Sheep? Flowers? Purple popcorn?
page six - "My Family"
Let me introduce you to my family. From left to right, we have my dad, Nick (yes, it's a very original Greek name, I know.) In reality he is not a foot shorter than my mom who is standing next to him.
I'm not 100% positive, but I'm pretty sure my mom, Diana, never wore her lipstick like Bozo the Clown. And check out those earrings! Those babies defy gravity! And yes, her arms are coming out of her cheeks. I know, I know, you probably missed that little tidbit because you were too busy looking at her deformed hands.
Next to my mom, is my sister Deb. Now Deb IS almost 2 years younger than I am (despite the fact that I had my kids snowed into thinking I was the younger sister. Hee hee shhhhh!), however, when I was in kindergarten, she did not come up to my knee caps.
And finally, there I am. No, I'm not wearing any pants. Perhaps I thought that snazzy little patchwork number would blind people and they wouldn't notice the lack of pants. If people made fun of the fact I wasn't wearing any pants, I guess I could've just hit them with my club-for-an-arm.
So, there you have it. Creativity abounds in me and I'm certain I'm responsible for passing these awesome genes down to my kids.