Monday, July 30, 2012

You Googled What???

Now and then I like to check my analytics to see the phrases people have googled which have brought them to my blog. There are always plenty of variations on my name, “because-I-said-so”, “mom2my6pack”, and “funny mom blogs”. But there are also a wide variety of bizarre phrases that bring folks to my blog. I don’t know which I find more disturbing – the strange things people google, or the fact that it lands them at my blog. Here are a few recent ones.


My Not-so-Scary Closet

After a little trip to Home Depot to get a few containers, I got to work on organizing my scary closet. You can see the BEFORE pictures here. I really didn't do too much to change my spare closet. I used it as a catch-all for anything and everything I could shove in there. I still use it for storage since I don't have a basement or a useable attic, but now I can actually walk into the closet and easily find what I'm looking for. Before I show you my pictures, I'll share my tips for getting a storage space organized.


My Scary, Scary Closet

I have to confess that I generally hate hardware stores.  Hardware stores have a serious lack of shoes and makeup.  And they smell gross.  And they sell a bunch of stuff that confuses and scares me.  And they're so big that I never know where to find anything.  I've always said that I would like hardware stores a lot more if they sold lip gloss and had sections of pink tools.  Or better yet, they had a comfortable seating area and employees to bring you drinks while demonstrating how to do little fixit jobs without using a shoe, a butter knife, or duct tape.  If the employees doing the demonstating were hot guys with tool belts, well, that would be even better.  (Can't blame a girl for tryin'.)


Thursday, July 26, 2012

Blogging is Hazardous to my House

I’m a stellar parent. Really. My kids are growing up secure in the knowledge that their mother loves them and is teaching them how to be happy, responsible, well-adjusted adults. They have no confusion about what’s right or wrong. They know how to behave and they never veer from what their moral compasses dictate. There’s only one little, tiny, almost non-existent problem . . .


Friday, July 20, 2012

My Harry Potter Closet Gets a Makeover

When I moved into this house a year ago, I was so excited to discover the closet under our stairs. I fondly named it “The Harry Potter Closet”. You know, because Harry Potter slept in the closet under the stairs in the first movie. Yep, only the coolest people name parts of their houses after ficticious movie characters. Ahem.

Anyway, it’s a cool, slanted closet! (Apparently, it doesn’t take much to impress me.) I figured I’d leave it empty because it’s a totally cool place to play and I knew my kids would love it. Plus, it would probably be a good place to hide if there’s a hurricane, or an armed intruder, or a giant swarm of cockroaches.


Thursday, July 19, 2012

How to Shoot Video Like Martin Scorsese

I like shooting video. Sometimes I just shoot the scene, moving the camera back and forth to capture the action. I film continuously, getting great footage and bloopers, terrific moments and dead air, fabulous shots and mistakes. I’ll play the film back and enjoy the raw, unedited video. Sometimes it’s kinda cool to see everything exactly as it transpired.

But most of the time, I like to make a more polished, edited video. The following are some tips to help you make a professional-looking, edited video.


Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Home, Sweet, Home

I like to think of my self as Superman (or Superwoman, or Supermom or Supersomething!) But, at times like these, I realize that no matter how super I am, I still can’t do it all.

While I was immeasurably thankful the pulmonary embolism didn’t kill me, and I was thankful to be in the hospital, getting the care I needed, I couldn’t help stressing out that my kids were home alone. What’s a single mom to do in a situation like this? All of my family lives in Illinois. At least I have three teenagers to help care for my three little ones, but still, it was really hard being told I’d have to stay in the hospital while my kids were at home. Alone.


Getting Organized One Room at a Time

When I was a small kid, I was a slob. When I was an older kid, I was a slob. When I was a teen, I gave the word “slob” new meaning. When I was a young adult, I was still fairly slobbish. When I had kids, however, that all changed.

Before I got divorced and moved to Florida with my kids, we all lived in a small house in Chicagoland. I mean – SMALL. Our family of eight somehow managed to share an 1100 square foot house without killing each other. I know that’s probably more people in less space than most of you can imagine.


Monday, July 16, 2012

The One in Which I Land in the Hospital

A little back story - I have a genetic clotting disorder. It makes my blood more likely to clot than the average person's. In 2005, when I was pregnant with Brooklyn, my leg became painful and swollen. I went to the ER where they did an ultrasound of my leg and discovered that I had a dozen blood clots in a superficial vein as well as a DVT (deep vein thrombosis). DVTs are scary because a clot can dislodge and travel to your lung causing a pulmonary embolism which can be fatal. I was in the hospital for a couple days while my doctor started blood thinners. I continued to give myself shots of blood thinners in my abdomen throughout my pregnancy. After I gave birth, my hematologist switched me to Coumadin which I took for a few months. A repeat ultrasound a few months after I'd given birth showed the clot to be dissolved so I was able to stop taking the blood thinners.


How a Bug Nearly Caused a 5 Car Pile-Up

I realized, after writing about the devil-cockroach incident, that I never did finish my story about how the cockroach, er, Palmetto bug, got his revenge. Those bugs always get their revenge. Case in point? The Bathmoth! And the Batmoth's revenge.

Anyway, after my son squished the giant Palmetto bug in my bedroom and flushed it down the toilet, the creature either escaped his watery grave and swam out of the toilet to seek his revenge, or he sent out a buggy SOS to all his friends asking them to avenge his death as he was drowning.


Tuesday, July 10, 2012

My Princess

My most awesome Disney memory is from 2001 when Savannah won a trip to Disney World. Disney was having a contest in conjunction with the release of the Cinderella 2 DVD. I’d filled out an entry form at a Disney store a couple months earlier and Savannah was one of ten grand prize winners! She won a trip (airfare, hotel, park tickets, etc.) for the family to go to Disney World! Not only that, but they dressed her up like Cinderella, took a million pictures of her at the park, put her up on stage in front of the castle, and let her walk with Cinderella in the parade.


Monday, July 9, 2012

Magnets, Moisteners, and Spoonks

My teens, Austin and Savannah, are volunteering at my school this summer. Today was the first day for them to help out. After sleeping in until 10:00 – 11:00 for the past couple weeks, it was a rude awakening (literally) for them this morning since they had to be there at 8:30. Austin was put to work packing up some teachers’ belongings and moving them across the school to new classrooms. Savannah was placed in a room, helping kids who are attending math camp. Their motives are not entirely noble as they need 100 community service hours to apply for the Bright Futures scholarship, but still, I’m proud that they’re willing to give their time to help out.


Sunday, July 8, 2012

Cool Things you Never Knew you Could do with Your Cell Phone

I was at a family get-together a couple weeks ago when my aunt mentioned, “Someday we’ll be able to have all sorts of technology in the palm of our hands.”

I held up my iPhone and said, “Someday is here.”

My aunt clarified. “But someday you’ll have a computer that small.”

“This IS a computer. I have access to the Internet from my phone.”

“But someday, you’ll also have a little TV like that.”

“I DO have TV on my phone!” I triumphantly exclaimed while showing off my Netflix app.


Monday, July 2, 2012

How I Stopped the Cockroach That Nearly Ate my Face Off

When we arrived back home in Florida after our trip to Chicagoland, I discovered a squatter living in my house (or more specifically, my bedroom). A giant (the only size they come in) Palmetto bug (Floridians call flying cockroaches Palmetto bugs, but giving them a cute name doesn’t change the fact that they’re FLYING COCKROACHES) was on the ceiling of my room. There was NO way on earth I was going to go to sleep with that thing in my room. It was the size of a Buick and it looked like it was hungry enough to eat my face off.


Sunday, July 1, 2012

It's Not an Adventure Until Someone Throws Up

We left Chicagoland today and started our long drive home to Florida. Before we left, Eric came over to say goodbye. And awesome man that he is, he brought us donuts and iced coconut coffee with one Splenda and milk. (You know they care when they get your coffee right.) After saying goodbye to him and my mom, who also came by, we hit the road, but before we could really get going, Jackson begged me to stop at Jarosch Bakery for cookies.


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