The Great Chicken Wars (Part VIII)

 

If you're just joining us, here's the recap -  Phoebe found an absurd video of a rubber chicken "singing" the theme song from Indiana Jones. I flung little chickens at Phoebe. Phoebe filled every inch of the office with chickens. I replaced Phoebe photographs with ones of Nicolas Cage. I put her stapler in Jello. I tried to scare her with a plastic spider, but that backfired badly. And here we are.

One of the deans in the office, Dan had taken off time here and there throughout the last several months to go to the dentist. Phoebe and I teased him about it.

"Where are you really going, Dan?"

"Yeah. No one goes to the dentist that often!"

It became a running joke in the office. Oh, you're going to the "dentist" again, huh? 

"Are you having an affair with the dentist? What's really going on, Dan?"

One day, when Dan was supposedly at the dentist, Phoebe and I decorated his office with teeth. Many, many teeth. What? At least they weren't chickens!

Dan didn't find the teeth amusing, and started planning his payback. The plastic spider with which Phoebe and I had pranked each other gave Dan an idea. With a maniacal laugh and a decidedly evil smile, he brandished a rubber snake. With a length of clear fishing line, he tied it to the legs of Phoebe's chair, pushed in her seat, and carefully set up his phone, framing Phoebe's desk in the screen before pressing record, and walking away, rubbing his hands together like a cartoon villain.

First of all, you have to understand that we live in Florida. Schools are often situated around an outdoor courtyard. I have encountered snakes on school campuses. More than once! We have a family of raccoons on our campus currently. I've seen many stray cats, Sandhill Cranes, vultures, armadillos, hundreds of anoles, and other various creatures on and around school campuses over the years.

We were all out of the office when Phoebe came in and encountered the snake, but it was recorded on Dan's phone. I won't include the video here, but I will say that Phoebe let out a part-English, part-Spanish, part-gibberish expletive that sounded like the pained cry of a wounded animal. And I don't blame her. I would've reflexively jumped out of the second story window had I discovered a snake slithering toward me as I moved my chair away from the desk.

But, you know what they say about payback . . .