Friday, July 6, 2007

House Devils and Street Angels

I realized I'd lost track of time while running errands with the gang when they started whining from the back of my van.

"We're hungry!"
"Can't we go home for dinner?"
"Aren't we finished shopping yet?"
"We're dying!"
"We haven't eaten in like four years!"

Not wanting to stop (only because it would mean having to drag the six of them out again at another time), I replied, "We just have two more stops to make. If you're hungry, look in your car seats. I bet there are enough fries, crackers, fruit snacks, and half eaten lollipops to feed a small nation."

"Mom, we already ate that stuff on the way to Grandma and Grandpa's last week, remember?"

"Oh yeah. OK. Tell you what - if you can make it through two more errands without killing each other, I'll take you to Culvers for dinner."

much cheering from gang

I try not to take the kids out in public, so going out to eat is a big treat for them. We got to the restaurant, stepped to the counter and ordered.

NANA: Can I have two corn dogs?
PRINCESS: Can I have macaroni and cheese?
ME: They don't have mac-n-cheese. Do you want a hamburger?
PRINCESS: Then I'll have a fruit snack.
ME: They don't have fruit snacks.
PRINCESS: Fine. Then I want the thing with the stuff on it.
ME: to Culvers guy Got that? She wants the thing with the stuff on it.
CULVERS GUY: blank stare
SPAZ: Me too!
ME: OK, that'll be two things with stuff on them.
AJ: I'd like a double deluxe with everything on it.
CULVERS GUY: still confused over the last order
BOO: Me too! I want a double deluxe too!
CULVERS GUY: Are you sure you can eat all that? It's pretty big.
AJ: to Boo Yeah, you'll never finish a Crabby Patty, Barnacle Boy. to Culvers guy He'll have a Pipsqueak Patty.

Now a good mother would know at this point that it was time to limit the kids' cartoon viewing to less than twelve hours a day. What went through my head, however, is the realization that the kids could recall every line of every Sponge Bob episode ever made and they could quote them with impressive accuracy, but they couldn't remember to put their dirty clothes in the hamper.

Anyway, the gang was actually very good through dinner. The baby only threw about a pound of food on the floor and she didn't hit any other patrons with her projectile fries of death. There was no fighting, poking, crawling under the table, blowing bubbles in their drinks, or yelling and my three year old only took off his shoes once "because my feet are itchy".

A little, old lady, who'd been dining next to us, walked over to our table as she was leaving and said, "I just have to tell you what a beautiful family you have. And they are SO well behaved!"

I smiled at her, looked lovingly at my little darlings sitting there so politely and then burst out laughing hysterically. She obviously didn't know my kids. Had she seen them last night at dinner goofing off at the table and laughing like rabid hyenas, she surely would've fainted from the sheer horror of the sight.

This nice lady smiled and told me they must be House Devils and Street Angels. I'd never heard that expression before, but I like it. It fits. :)


Stacie said...

LMAO! I love that - house devils and street angels...maybe the lady had experience herself.

Erin said...

Ooohhh!!! I love that!!! I have 5 of those!! And, they too can recite Spongebob. "Oh barnacles" is the expression I hear the most, followed by "look at this crabby patty" usually random toys piled up that my 3 year old *thinks looks like a crabby patty.

LaurieinTX said...

hahahahaha "projectile fries of death" hahahaha!

Amanda said...

OMG, this has to be my favorite blog! I have 3 "House Devils" and "Street Angels". Oh, and whenever we go to McDonalds, we have to order Happy Meals with Krabby Patties. There is no such thing as a hamburger in my household.

Your blog is awesome!

stormisworld said...

This is great. I love the way you switch from talking to the skit mode in seconds. I can almost see you (if you are anything like me) actually saying everyone's parts, probalbly even with the voices and all.
PS. I gotta know what was the things with stuff on them?
Was that the crabby pattys, um... I mean burgers?

Heather P said...

My mom always used to tell us "I don't care how you act at home, but you better behave when we step out of this house." I truly understand what she meant now that I am a mother myself (of three girls, 3.5, 2.5 and 1). My girls absolutely are House Devils & Street Angels. And I am proud to say it! :)

Trina said...

This sounds like my 3 boys. I asked my 4 year old once if he would like a hamburger- he screamed NO - what is that? I want a krabby patty!

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