Friday, June 20, 2008

You Found Me HOW???

OK, first things first. My good friends Mimi and Michelle are on a crusade to wipe out childhood cancer. For those of you who are new to my blog, Mimi lost her precious 4 year old, Julian, to cancer only 5 months ago. Check out these videos that Mimi's been slaving away on. She had to make three (in fact, she's working on a fourth one) because there were just so many kids who have battled/are battling cancer. Make sure you have tissues nearby.
Video One
Video Two
Video Three
When you're done watching these videos, click HERE to sign this petition. I know it takes a couple minutes and it's kind of a pain, but as Mimi says - it could happen to you. In the blink of your eye, you could get that dreaded diagnosis - cancer. As your whole world crumbles away, wouldn't you want someone in your corner, fighting for your child?
And God has gifted Michelle with incredible artistic talent and she's putting it to use to raise money for childhood cancer. Check out the link for 4 THE KIDS over to the right there -------------> Michelle is also walking for the kids in her Relay for Life. The link for that is HERE. Thank you for taking the time to check these out and/or donate money and/or pray that a cure is soon found! :)

Reminder - you have until midnight central time on Friday to leave a comment on THIS POST listing your 3 favorite mom websites. The winner will receive a set of Wonder Pet beanies..."We're not too big and we're not too tough, but when we get together, we've got the right stuff." Oh joy, I'm going to have that little ditty in my head for the rest of the night. Anyway, you'll get the set of beanies AND a $75 gift card for Good For the Kids!!! Meanwhile, check out Angie's variety of safe sippy cups which are free of Bisphenol A (BPA Free), phthalates and DEHA. She's also got a ton of toys to nurture and engage your little ones like Melissa and Doug puzzles and Zoobie pets.

OK, now it's time for another installment of How On Earth Did You Weirdos Find Me???

These are the actual keywords that folks googled in order to find me.

telling good lies to each other at class reunion
I recommend it.

why do people get stung if they step on a dead jellyfish?
because they've stepped on a jellyfish

Camping in southern Missouri I came across a spider the size of my hand
Note to self: don't go camping in Missouri.

what should i do with my mother when i have so many problems with her
OK, which one of my kids googled this?

pee stains on pants
It wasn't me! Honestly. It was just water from the fountain that I sat in!

How many more days of school??????????!!!!!!!!!!
OK, now which kid googled this one?

If you asked a woman to change your diaper what would she say?
Goodbye freak!

I searched butt paste for you dawn
Umm thanks?

just a fool to believe she's got disease you tube
I believe the lyrics are "just a fool to believe I've got anything she needs..." not "disease"!

Ways to get moms sympathy when I’m sick
Oh suck it up! You're not that sick.

nude cruise
Umm ew!

my daughter shaved her eyebrows off
Oh my gosh! Why???

so i
So you what???

Hahaha i
You what???? Stop leaving me hanging like this!

I look up to the most to my mom because
Grrrr! Because WHY???

I’m so angry at my new husband
Get used to it.

Hi dawn! Wanted to see if I make it to your next google list becuase I said so! =p
Someone has a little too much time on her hands. ;)

Your laughing at me because I’m different I’m laughing at you because I have gas
I'm sorry to hear that.

If you’re driving in a Chevy and your pants are feeling heavy diarreah
Songs about bodily functions for $200 Alex.

Silicone dog’s paws
Do they really make prosthetic paws for dogs?

I resign because of family
I hear ya there!

One fabulous mom blogspot
Thank you, thank you, thank you. :D

Arizona scorpions in toilet drain
Oh my gosh! And I thought it was bad when my friend Stacie told me that scorpions had dropped on her head while she was in the bathroom!

Why does my water bottle smell like feet?
because your kids filled it with milk and let it sit in your car, in the summer heat, for 2 weeks. Just guessing.

Don’t eat the bugs clay
Do you hear that Clay? Don't eat bugs!

Stuffed butts
It just wouldn't be my blog without the requisite butt reference.

How do bats poop
with their butts (sorry - couldn't help myself)

Can you take her back and change her for another
I swear I didn't google this about Brooklyn!

Plaid knee socks
Thing you don't want to wear. Ever.

Children who eat strange things diaper crème
I don't know. When you spell cream like that, it makes it sound like a dessert.

What does a grade one kid put in his backpack
I looked in Lexi's backpack so I could accurately answer this. A first grader puts Littlest Pet Shop toys, Polly Pockets, a Leapster game cartridge, a pencil, 2 crayons, a bunch of misc. papers, 3 socks, a library book that should have been turned before school got out a couple weeks ago, a baggie filled with smashed crackers, 4 containers of chapstick/lipgloss, a bracelet, and one of my Tupperware cups.

My son flushed something down the toilet and now it won’t flush, how do I unclog it?
Oh honey! Are you on your way home yet?

How do mom blogs get so many views?
because we're so darn awesome!

This is how I walk my dog Dorothy
Thank you, Elmo.

Things that make you say, "Wha???"

if suddenly you forget me, don’t look for me, because suddenly I’ve forgotten you


I you because so

Win thi lootery book

The style of is normal day pair of shoes that is in right now for teenage boys

Utah toilet lock bailey

She don’t know that face I know she don’t know the things I know she don’t know I run this show

the chicken had a home where she lived with delight so why did she visit the construction site?

Dawn i.

I haven’t a clue about what you just said, so here is a rabbit with a pancake on its head.

I try to make my way to you but still I feel so lost I don’t know what to say, what else to do. Don’t give up on me yet, don’t forget who I am I know I’m not there yet, but don’t leave me alone

I don’t know if what I did was right or wrong, guess I will never know. But, I made it, and I guess I should be thankfull for that.


Anonymous said...

ROFLOL! Scratching my head here and wondering what people are thinking!

Sara said...

Hehe! I love the random rhyming ones at the end!

cakeburnette said...

I can explain the "rabbit with a pancake on it's head" one...although I'm wondering exactly who googled it...

There is a message board site that had some drama about a poster who had sort of "stolen" someone else's identity and was using it as her profile. Some other folks decided to "out" her to the board, and in the beginning it was all very weird and disjointed. One of the board administrators posted a picture of a bunny with a pancake sitting on its head and the caption that was googled. It's a pretty small community, so I'm dying to know who googled it and got to you.

Anonymous said...

What's with all the people searching Butt related stuff!?! LOL

Anonymous said...

Elmo's pet Dorothy is a goldfish not a dog. LOL

Katy said...

nude cruise...not enough sunscreen in the world to justify a nude cruise.


roseys madhouse said...

you said a while back that you were going to have more items on ebay. What is your ebay id?

Robin said...

Thank you for sharing the link to Mimi's videos. So sad. Those poor little babies and the ones they leave behind. She did a nice job on them.

Sherri said...

Dawn, your blog brings laughter to my day. My favorite three mommy blogs are:

Bad mommy! Bad, Bad Mommy
Mommy Needs a Cocktail
and yours of course

Anonymous said...

Some of those are hilarious, some are just mind boggling and some look like drunk monkeys got to the keyboard.

Laurie said...

Ya know, ALL moms totally get the "butt" frequency of your posts. Kids=butts...its just funny!!

Heather said...

Thanks Dawn! I needed a smile today and now my kids are looking at me like I'm crazy for laughing!

I'm seeing a scary new trend in googling- trying to make Dawn's list...

fawndear said...

Wow Dawn, I just noticed the time you posted. Do you ever sleep?

My Top Three Mom Sites not including your's of course because you are the Queen and no one can really compare.

Amber said...

Thanks for posting the cancer petition link. Funding and media attention are so important for finding cures. I couldn't view the videos because my daughter is currently battling cancer herself, but I'm sure they are heartwarming.

Allison Hill said...

Actually, the rabbit with the pancake on it's head is from don't know if you've ever read that site but it's hilarious. I seriously recommend going on saturday, known on fark as "caturday", when everybody hauls out their best photoshopped and captioned cat pictures. Basically the rabbit picture is posted whenever anybody says anything stupid or completely off-subject. I don't know to what cakeburnett is referring to, but whoever posted it on that site got it originally from fark.

Now that that's done, I have to say that you're my hero, and I love reading your blog!

Anonymous said...

I think it's hilarious that some of the searches are messages for you!

Come on over to my place and enter to win some FREE CHOCOLATE!

Brenda said...

When I first saw your post titles I thought you were asking how the weirdos who read you blog found ME. I found you because someone sent me the EBay listing.

Anonymous said...

Dawn, I didn't know how else to contact you to ask would you possibly link to this digital scrapkit on behalf of 2 children, Abbey & Declan, who have been abused by their parents.

Theresa said...

Childhood cancer is a scourge and needs to be eliminated. This is a cause very near and dear to my heart so I'm all over it!

MaBunny said...


Michelle Kemper Brownlow said...

I am is that find cow was for that miss cat!

Just trying to sound like your "google friends"!


I appreciate it tons...the cancer kids (and their families) thank you, too!!!

Have an amazing weekend - you deserve it!

Valarie said...

Your google keyword searches are always so hilarious. Mine are always so boring. *sigh* I'm sure hearing one more person whining about a little trivial thing is probably just what you need in your life, huh? :)

TheHMC said...

I get scarier ones on mine every day. Yours make me laugh though. The ones I get just scare the crap out of me.

Franny Organny said...

always good to know i would find you again in the wide wide web of the world by typing in these weird key words! people, bookmark dawn!!!


Kim said...

Hey Dawn! My husband says he's so glad I found you. Something about me not ever laughing before...
anyway, my FIL sent me this e-mail. I literally had to stop and catch my breath between paragraphs I laughed so hard. Seeing as you recently had a bunch of check-ups, I thought you'd enjoy it as well!

Anonymous said...

LOL I'm the one who left the "Hi Dawn!" quote. Just couldn't help myself. Too much spare time, LOL

Tricia said...

Love the personalized search messages for you!

And first grader puts things like dirt and grass in her backpack. When questioned as to why she had handfuls of grass in her backpack, she answered, "Cause I picked it." Oh. Makes perfect sense now. Stupid me.

Serial Mommy said...

let me count the ways...

ok, i'm going to make a pretty decent sized list of my fav mommy blogs and you can count the 1st three as my entry, yes?

pioneer woman
miss britt
bean paste (i always think of this one when you talk about butt paste)
the blogess

and in all honesty, i have quite a few more...go to my blog and i have a list on the side, that i need to update with a few more...i go through blogs i like, click on the comenters links and read away, if i like it, i add it to my favs and put it on my blog...

Anonymous said...

Some of them sound like song lyrics.

Aileen McCabe-Maucher said...


I love your blog and am a faithful reader! Can I please copy and paste your friend's cancer videos and petion into my blog (as well as your intro to this piece? I would love to help get word out. Of course I will give you credit link back to your blog.


Have a great weekend!

All the best,

krystina said...

hey dawn,
you said that your migraines stopped coming after you had kids? as in, all of the sudden or did they gradually die down, or just take physical form? lol, just kidding, i know you love them. the kids, not headaches...

Anonymous said...

You always keep me laughing!

My favorite mom/family sites are:

I also like facebook because I can keep in touch with friends and get some "me" time instead of just "Mommy"

Anonymous said...

LOL!! My family just finished looking at me like I'm insane because I've been laughing so hard! I once googled you with Dawn's funny butt or something lol. Just wanted to share :)

Oh and by the way, the illustrating for my book is done! I'm so excited to see it all finished! I'll be getting it Tuesday!! EEEEEEE <--- my impersonation of you sounding excited for me :)

Chelf said...

"just a fool to believe she's got disease you tube"

Are we sure they are searching for Dirty Dancing videos, or are they seriously talking about a disease? Do they have diseased women lying on You Tube? Maybe they need to search for more misheard lyrics.

Beth said...

Hey Dawn! I thought I would step out of my comfort zone and leave a comment...

Cancer sucks! I didn't make it through the first video and I was in tears. My hubby said no more for me, being that I am currently pregnant with baby number one. He says I stress enough!

My three favorite parenting sites are:
(a Pittsburgh Moms group)
(and of course I can't get by without my daily birth control... ;-) I think we are stopping at two! You are one unbelievably awesome mother & wife!)

Michelle said...

So so funny. I can only hope that one day I get just one lovely google search like that. But maybe I need to change what I'm posting about. More about bodily functions and annoying children's songs! ;)

Anonymous said...

Love the misheard song lyrics. There is a website just for them called Good for a laugh or three

The Cochran Family said...

You are HILARIOUS! I read your online auction and that is how I ended up here.

My favorite sites are:

Thanks so much for your comical approach to child-rearing.

debi9kids said...

LMAO! People really type in the strangest things and strangely enough, your blog pops up! hahaha

You got me addicted to finding out the odd words people type that find my blog too, but I have yet to have anything as odd as you do. LOL

Rick said...

How come the search that deal with "body functions" lead to your blog?

Nef B.F. said...

I may not be a parent yet, but your blog has been a great source of entertainment for me. I first came across your blog when searching for pokeman cards, but to my dismay it was an old auction. Any hoots, You're blog's the best.

My Two Army Brats said...

I really love the "how did you find me" posts. People are crazy!

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