Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Just Another Fun-Filled Day

Yesterday my inlaws came over and watched the kids while Joe and I went to buy the van that we looked at on Saturday. I reminded Jackson the kids that good things happen when they behave and military school happens bad things happen when they don't behave. Anyway, we got a good report from grandma and grandpa so I told the kids I'd take them to play miniature golf after Savannah's orthodontist appointment today.

Well, let's see here, the day started with the kids running through the house whipping pillows at each other, yelling, screaming, crying, and shrieking like Howler monkeys. Not really something you want to wake up hearing. I think the US government could use my kids' morning voices on their enemies to gain world domination. Although, I suppose those screeches are probably deemed "torture" under the Geneva Conventions, Amnesty International, and the United Nations.

After that, I walked out to the kitchen where I saw tortillas on the floor, drying out. It doesn't even shock me to find food on the floor anymore. In fact, if I ever walked into the kitchen and saw a clean floor, I'd probably go into coronary arrest. "Where's all the food? Why isn't there any on the floor? Why isn't ice cream dripping down the cabinets? The refrigerator door is closed??? There are no gallons of milk sitting out on the counter? What's going on? What's wrong with the world??? I'm so confused!"

Next, on my day of fun, was the trip to the orthodontist. The kids were all off their rockers insane a little wild in the car. Although I was tempted to ask the orthodontist if he could wire their mouths shut, I decided that the kids would probably scare away the other patients, so I parked right in front of the door and let Savannah go in by herself while I stayed in the car with the riffraff. While we were waiting in the car, the kids somehow decided it would be a good idea to unbuckle and move around the fun, new van. When Austin buckled Brooklyn back in her seat, she started screaming and crying. This went on for 20 minutes. It was fun. I actually had my camera with me because I'm insane and I take it everywhere I thought I might get some pictures of the kids playing mini golf. Austin took some footage of Brooklyn screaming, but alas he was playing Austin Meehan D P (cinematographer extraordinaire), and thanks to his funky vision, the movie had some extreme close-ups, blurred shots of the inside of her nasal cavity, and a lot of earthquake-like shaking. Needless to say, the picture is awful, but the soundtrack is pure birth control.

The first 10 minutes we tried to distract her, calm her, make her laugh, make her stop. At the point the video started, we were beyond that. We were just concentrating on tuning her out. Oh yeah - and yes, she had gum in her mouth. I didn't realize that. Thankfully she didn't choke on it. When she finally calmed down, she closed her eyes and went back to chewing her gum.

When we got home, we saw that Joe's ice cream of the month shipment had arrived (his father's day present). Joe got home from work as we were unpacking the ice cream and putting it in the freezer.
"How did they ship it? How is it still frozen?" he wanted to know.
"They packed it in a cooler of dry ice," I answered.
Joe got this glazed look in his eyes and a smile slowly crept over his face. "Dry ice?" he said in a way that made me fear for my life and the lives of my children.
"Wanna play?" he asked the kids as he grabbed the dry ice and some plastic bottles from the recycling bin.
Next thing I know, Adam Jamie Joe was putting chunks of dry ice and water in the bottles, and whipping them out onto the driveway where he could await the explosions.
"You know a noise like that could impair the kids' hearing."


"Are you happy now Clark? She's deaf."

Then Brooklyn found some stickers and decorated her legs and the kitchen floor. "Can you put a couple stickers over there to cover up those sticky spills? Now put another here to cover up that dirt. Good girl." Oooo pretty.

I walked past my pretty kitchen floor and went to the laundry room to change loads of laundry. I put clothes in my dryer and turned it on. Clunk! Clunk! Cachunk! Clunk!
"What the heck?" I opened the door and found a rock. Not just any rock though. Noooo. A piece of a geode. A geode that Jackson and Clayton were looking at while we were in the play zoo last Friday. Now I knew that Jackson was the culprit because I had actually patted Clay down as we left to make sure he hadn't pocketed any of the rocks. I didn't check Jackson because I thought he knew better.
I confronted Jackson and asked him if he'd taken the rock. He admitted it. I gave him high praise for admitting it and not lying to me. And then I told him it was stealing and he has to take it back to the zoo, find a worker in the play area and return it with an apology and a promise to never do it again. I think he realized he was wrong as he started crying. Either that or he was crying because I told him he had to return it. And so begins his life of crime.

A little later I was folding some laundry and I noticed some clothes that didn't belong to my kids.
"Hey Savannah, these aren't yours, are they? Did you borrow them from Shannon?"
"No? Then how the heck did they get in here?"
"Oh, they're Shannon's, but I didn't borrow them from her."
"So, I'm just doing your friends' laundry now? Oh good. Because doing 8 people's laundry left me with way too much free time."

Now I'm hobbling off to bed. "Hobbling", you ask? Yes, that would be because Clay got mad and threw a toy guitar that hit me in the ankle.
"I didn't mean to hit you! I meant to hit Jackson."
"Oh, well in that case, it's all fine and dandy!"
I resisted the urge to beat him with the guitar. He's lucky.


Janet said...

That is EXACTLY what my husband would do if dry ice arrived at our house.
And all our floors are covered in stickers.
Hope your ankle mends soon.

Michelle said...

Whee! That sounds like fun. Sadly, much of your post reflects my life:

Little Miss not being allowed to sit wherever she wants in the car and bawling? check

Food left out? check (although granted, I blame that on my husband)

Sticker decorating? check

But the most intriguing part was the dry ice. Really? That makes pop bottles explode? I'm SO going to have to try that the next time I get dry ice.

Which of course leads me to the next question. Ice cream of the month, huh? How is it? Both my husband's and dad's birthdays are in the next month plus, and I have no clue what to get either! This could be right up their alleys....

Anonymous said...

Hey Dawn!

Thank you so much for the birth control video. I actually started watching it and 42 seconds into it realized I couldn't handle it anymore. Good thing I don't have kids! Or, maybe if I did, the video would have been representative of just another day in paradise...

I think that some folks are just great parents (like you) and can take the ups and downs.

Tina said...

I am a Mom to 6 kids aswell (3 singletons and set of triplets). I feel like I'm at home reading your adventures LOL. I would love to link you.

janel said...

Now I'm sure that you get more than your fair share of "Diego" in your spare time, because you talked about howler monkeys and tapirs in the same week! Welcome to the club.

Anonymous said...

My boyfriend in college (who was a physics major, to boot) thought it would be a "fun experiment" to put dry ice in a water bottle and close the top to see what would happen. Except he didn't do it in the driveway--he held it IN HIS HAND. He got stitches in two fingers after it exploded in his hand. Thank goodness your husband has more common sense than that!! :)

Anonymous said...

......so did you play miniture golf?

Emily said...

I'm totally digging the fact that Brooklyn stopped crying as soon as "Go, Go, Go Joseph" came on.

I wonder, does she always do that, or was this time just a fluke? :)

Anonymous said...

Hi Dawn -
I've been a faithful reader for months now but have never left a comment. I was just reading your latest post and out of the corner of my eye, noticed my 13 year old daughter creeping around the hallway with an expression of deep concentration upon her face. I asked what she was doing - she froze, looked at me as her expression become more of confusion, and said, "It sounds like there's a cat dying outside." Then she came closer to where I was reading your blog and gave me a look which could only be interpreted as, "My mom is a complete lunatic and in serious need of a life." From her bedroom she had heard the video of Brooklyn pitching the fit in the van -- she thought there was a serious cat fight going on outside. Too funny! Thank you for the daily antecdotes. I look forward to each and every one!

Kristine said...

How could you have so much fun in one day? Lucky dog.

Anonymous said...

I noticed underneath Brooklyn's crying, that you were listening to the soundtrack from "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat" (could they have come up with a longer name?!) It's a favorite of our family's but it got me to wondering: What audio selections do you offer in the car and, most importantly, who gets to pick? My four kids often have nasty arguments over what to listen to in the van.

Aubrey said...

Pure birth control. Love it. Must make my husband read this--he still desperately wants six kids. I'm thinking not.

Kristy said...

wow what a day you had. im sure your glad it finally came to an end so you could hit the bed and get some quiet time and rest!

Anonymous said...

Hope your ankle feels better!

Anonymous said...

Dawn-I love this whole post but the BEST part was the quote from the "Vacation" movie. It makes me laugh when I watch the movie and even harder when I saw that someone else remembers that line like I do!

Jennifer said...

I am amazed that your other kids just sat there while Brooklyn had her fit. Especially Savannah!

When my youngest daughter (15 months) starts throwing a fit in the car, her sister (5 years old) immediately starts whining, "Mom! Riley is crying." As if I didn't all ready realize it!
"Mom, make her stop." "Mom, I can't take it any more."
Yeah, you and me both!!!

Anonymous said...


Just another day in paradise, no? Kudos to you on resolving the rock heist. I've used the same method and it seems to have worked....either that or they just make sure I don't find out!

Great news on the Sonic coming to town. If, I mean, when you get to the West Coast, you must try "In and Out". They have a very simple menu, so there's not a lot of time and confusion deciding what to eat. Chee-burger, fry and Petsie...or shake.

Thanks for bringing so much sunshine into my life!

God Bless,


Suburban Correspondent said...

Hazardous duty pay...that's what we need...

morninglight mama said...

My own little two-year-old was fascinated by the video. I asked her what she thought about it, you know asking a toddler to compose a blog comment... her response. "It was good." Followed by, "That little girl was crying and the mom drive."

Thanks for sharing- glad to know I'm not alone in seeing these types of meltdowns on a regular basis! :)

Robin said...

OH MY GOSH!!! Just another funny...er, I mean, FUN day at your house!!!! I don't know how you do it. Your kids say/do the funniest stuff.

National Lampoons Summer Vacation! We just watched that the other night. That's funny stuff! Between my hubby and I, we have some very similar characters in our own families. I like to think everyone does so that we're not alone.

Have a wonderful day! I hope your ankle feels better.

Anonymous said...

So, what you´re saying is that you don´t really have 6 kids, you have 7 . . . :D I love my man, but he can be a third kid sometimes, too.

I´m very impressed that you survive days like these. I think I´d be a melted puddle or else turn into the Hulk.

Tracy, mom2many said...

Long time reader,first time commenter.

My mom (we're from the South) used to say "her floor's so clean you could eat off it". After I had kids (I have 8), I remember thinking, who could eat off a clean floor? Mine is floor you could eat off, there's an entire buffet down there!

Your blog is a daily read. My oldest boys(10 and 12) read preselected ones too. Thanks for making me laugh.

Ariel said...

Sounds like you've had an interesting day! While your closer is quite amusing, we'd hate for your life of crimes to start by you be charged with "Assualt with a Guitar"!

Rae_Momto2 said...

Oh my goodness!!! How did you not wreck the car?!?! :) When I was playing the video,my 4 and 5 year olds came over to watch too and they were in awe lol. Guess they have forgotten their own days like that...

Ginny Clark said...

Through all that screaming, I was sitting here singing along with the soundtrack of Joseph and the amazing technicolored dreamcoat that you were listening to... LOL, great video and great music :)

The Flying Circus Mom said...

Hmmm this sounds quite simular to my day yesterday....orthodontist appointment included...I feel for you Dawn, I know your pain...hope today is a better one for you!

The Flying Circus Mom said...

Hmmm this sounds quite simular to my day yesterday....orthodontist appointment included...I feel for you Dawn, I know your pain...hope today is a better one for you!

The Flying Circus Mom said...

Hmmm this sounds quite simular to my day yesterday....orthodontist appointment included...I feel for you Dawn, I know your pain...hope today is a better one for you!

The Flying Circus Mom said...

Hmmm this sounds quite simular to my day yesterday....orthodontist appointment included...I feel for you Dawn, I know your pain...hope today is a better one for you!

Cat said...

But listening to Joseph and the Amazing technicolor dreamcoat will make any kid scream. My Mom used to make my brother lsiten to that when he was in the car with her and wouldn't behave. Loved the video....You could actually see the back of her throat :) Good Times

Anonymous said...

Hi Dawn,
I have to admit, I only made it through about 1/4 of the video of the screaming - I couldn't handle it! I hope I didn't miss anything important???

I praise you for being able to handle that screaming! I climb under my shell!

Pam (Seattle)

cakeburnette said...

"Needless to say, the picture is awful, but the soundtrack is pure birth control."

This is the funniest thing I've ever read! You sure do have a way with words...how much longer before we can buy your book, again?

Anonymous said...

This doesn't have anything to do with your post, but I thought you would get a kick out of it.


> Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car
> and

> 3 kids each for six weeks.

> Each kid will play two sports and either take music or
> dance classes.

> The is no fast food.

> Each man must take care of his 3 kids; keep his assigned
> house clean, correct all homework, and , cook, do laundry,
> and pay a list of 'pretend' bills with not enough
> money.

> In addition, each man will have to budget in money for
> groceries each week.

> Each man must remember the birthdays of all their friends
> and relatives, and send cards out on time--no emailing.

> Each man must also take each child to a doctor's
> appintent, a dentist appointment and a haircut appointment.
> He must make one unscheduled and inconvenient visit per
> child to the Urgent Care.

> He must also make cookies or cupcakes for a social
> function.

> Each man will be responsible for decorating his own
> assigned house, planting flow ers outside and keeping it
> presentable at all times.

> The men will only have access to television when the kids
> are asleep and all chores are done.

> The men must shave their legs, wear makeup daily, adorn
> himself with jewelry, wear uncomfortable yet stylish
> shoes, keep fingernails polished and eyebrows groomed;
> During one of the six weeks , the men will have to endure
> severe abdominal cramps, back aches, and have extreme,
> unexplained mood swings but never once complain or slow
> down from other duties.

> They must attend weekly school meetings, church, and find
> time at least once to spend the afternoon at the park or a
> similar setting.

> They will need to read a book to the kids each night and
> in the mornin g, feed them, dress them, brush their teeth
> and comb their hair by 7:00 am.

> A test will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each
> father will be required to know all of the following
> information: each child's b irthday, height, weight,
> shoe size, clothes size and doctor's name. Also the
> child's weight at birth, length, time of birth, and
> length of labor, each child's favorite color, middle
> name, favorite snack, favorite song, favorite drink,
> favorite toy, biggest fear and what they want to be when
> they grow up.

> The kids vote them off the island based on performance. The
> last man wins only if...he still has enough energy to be
> intimate with his spouse at a moment's notice.

> If the last man does win, he can play the gam e over and
> over and over again for the next 18-25 years eventually
> earning the right To be called Mother!

fawndear said...

I think we must be related. You just described my kids to perfection. Although instead of them going wild in a new van they decided to go wild for the world to see as we walked to a near-by park. Loose sticks = swords. Hills = Torturous moaning and groaning. That and instead of collecting geodes they collected rocks, filled their pockets with them, not because they look nice, but for future target practice when mom's not looking.
And as for public birth control - No wonder there aren't too many large families anymore. I guess people have seen yours and mine and realized it's insanity.
Best of luck for a calmer day today. Your awesome!

Anonymous said...

Hi Dawn, What kind of Van did you buy. I also drive a mini-van and I bet a few of your readers do also. Now the dry ice experiment...I have never bottled it but we add hot water in a bowl and make it smoke. Kristine in Michigan.

rae said...

Thanks for brightening my days when you have the time! I don't have children YET but reading about your kids is good preparation I think! I wondered if you had ever considered with the success of your blog/book if someone will offer you a reality series and if you would be willing to do that?
Nashville, TN

Michelle Roebuck said...

Boy oh boy, do I remember those sounds well. Trip right down memory lane. Which doesn't help because I'd all but forgotten that sound and now I've gone and got knocked up again!

Oh, the anticipation of hearing that joyous noise again...

Anonymous said...

That was priceless!! Hope your day is better today.

Erin said...

Thank You! Thank you, thank you and thank you. With only three kids we have days like these. I'm glad to know I'm not alone. My husband will LOVE the dry ice story.

This Crazy Thing Called Motherhood said...

Thanks for the laugh! :)

kristi said...

Never a dull moment, huh?

Jenni said...

Wow! I thought I was the only one that had to deal with tantrums like that!! I thought my 2 1/2 year old son was just going to be a bad child! You have given me hope that maybe it IS just a phase...do you have any suggestions??

Anonymous said...

Haha. One of the funnier ones I've read.

Serial Mommy said...

it seems as though you and i had very similar days yesterday. tis the way with kids. with my son james, he always hates it when he gets caught. i think he cries because he has been caught, more than anything else. who knows though.

Heath said...

Long time outsider. First time commenter. Thanks for giving me my weekly dose of funny. I've got two boys; you'd think that after partaking in all your crazy stories, I'd be done. But, like you, I thrive on crazy and want more...also, I'm Mormon. ha. I turned on your video of Brooklyn screaming and left it on as I read the rest. My 4 year old son came in and asked, "Why are you listening to a baby screaming?" Good question. I had totally tuned it out while I finished the post. We moms are awesome like that. Again, thanks.

SARAH said...

Does Brooklyn normally freak out... scream so nicely, every time you put her in the car seat?
I had a friend who every time they put there baby in a car seat who would just scream & scream. they ended up taking him to a chiropractor who adjusted his little baby back & now the kiddo LOVES his car seat.

just a thought, but maybe the seat messes with her back.. not just her need to be a grown up & free from teh car seat entraptment.

dragonfly domain said...

My Husband went and bought dry ice @ $1.99 a pound JUST so he could Blow things up. SHESH!

I am so happy you guys liked your box I will send you another email. ;) and Thank you *Blush*

Anonymous said...

The dry ice is a good thing. Tell Joe he can play with the dry ice every month if he gives you the ice cream.

Win-win, yes?

Anonymous said...

My wife has been recommending your blog for months, and I have finally had a chance to read it (and we don't even have kids yet!). She was right - it is one of the best things on the web.

I can't believe that you get things delivered in dry ice over there - I so want some to play with!

The Broken Man


Irishmama said...

So what you're really saying is that you have SEVEN kids, right?

We have a 'bad boys' school near by, I have already pulled in their lot, just to scare the kids.

Unknown said...

The Man would love to play with dry ice, too. In fact, every time I go to the grocery store he wants me to buy some. Because he's a freak. Because of this, I just looked into ice cream of the month clubs figuring I could eat the ice cream and he could play with the dry ice. Is it just me or are these clubs a little pricey!? I found one for $225 for 3 months at a 1/2 gallon of ice cream a month. $75 for a 1/2 gallon of ice cream seems a little over the top. Is the ice cream THAT good?

Anonymous said...

Hey! Im Going out of town Friday, If I cant get internet while Im there I think Im gonna need a Docter visit!(I wont get to read your blog! Such torture!) Anyway, how often do you get to go on vacation? If you could go anywhere in the world on your next vacation where would you go?

P.S. if you had all the money in the world.

Sharon said...

OMG Brooklyn screaming while one kid sits there with his hands over his ears and the big sister just zoning it out...too funny! Did you check her car seat, maybe she was sitting on a thumbtack!

Becky said...

LOL on the dry ice explosions!

Yep, after the packing peanut/lighter fluid Napalm incident a couple of summers ago, and then the Mentos in Soda bomb experiment of a couple of weekends ago...dry ice ain't comin' anywhere NEAR my house. Ever.

trishia said...

ok Dawn, I smell something fishy... did not ONE commenter complain about Brooklyn choking on her gum while crying? What happened to the days of everyone feeling they had a right to criticize your parenting skills? Have we entered a revolution?

I don't think so- the other day I was at the store and my 3yr old was complaining about the cookie the lady at the counter gave her, another shopper felt the need to tell me that if she was complaining, she shouldn't get any cookie... ok lady, then maybe you can take her through the grocery store without it, but I'm not..

kudos to you for not beating your boy with the guitar, you deserve a bowl of ice cream! :)

Laura ~Peach~ said...

LOVE the video and the look in Savannahs beautiful eyes oh dear and Clay holding his ears LOL... see my kids would be screaming at the screamer making the chaos even worse than it already is LOL... great video!
Hugs and a laugh

Marga said...

Hi Dawn, As a regular reader i click often on the breast cancer site for free mammograms. But since i'm from the Netherlands, i'm not sure if it helps? When i clicked on the results button, i noticed only the usa. I'd be glad to keep clicking. Does it helps?
Love, Marga

Anonymous said...

I love your comment on doing the laundry!!! I was actully LOL!!!!! So what other fun things do you do with your spare time??lol Thank you for sharing your dd screaming video. Let's me know my 3 are normal when it comes to crying.LOL :0)

Anonymous said...

The poor girl sitting beside her will refuse to ever have children.

Shelley said...

I don't know if anyone else caught this because I didn't read all the comments, but I loved your shout out to Clark Griswold. That made me laugh, a lot. Bless you and your brood. :)

Sunny said...

What is is with men and dry ice?So does that mean you do about 9 to 10 loads of laundry a week?

Anonymous said...

See now my husband would do that too if dry ice arrived at our house, has to be a guy thing LOL! Hope your ankle mends fast.

Anonymous said...

Hey Dawn, when i first started to read your blog, Brooklyn was always presented as the little angel, a cutie pie. Since when you started to present her bratty side? I still think she's cute, but can't stand her screaming sound though....

It's so funny that in the vid, Clay was covering his ears and Savannah looked so annoyed. Clay looked really calm!

Paula71 said...

OOh Dawn,
My My she was hacked off. I love the way she calmed down as if she had a switch that got turned off. Hmmm.. wonder where that gum came from.

I love, love, love your blog. I can't get enough of it and I WILL be getting the book.

Thanks for the laughs

ummmhello said...

"But the sound is pure birth control" HA! This was so laugh out lous funny, and I sorely needed it today. My own cherub is climbing the walls right now, pretending to be Link. Um yeah. And THIS is the quietest part of my day!

Anonymous said...

It's really funny that you posted that video of Brooklyn screaming her head off. I was just in the process of watching "Baby Borrowers" you could have a blog AND a reality show! Just what you need to make things more interesting at the Meehan home!

my3boys said...

Ok, I'm gettin' ya on the screaming, but are those the cutest dang piggy tails you've EVER seen?

Brenda said...

I was so freaked after a few minutes of watching the video I couldn't find the stop button. Poor baby. Poor mama.

Anonymous said...

What ice cream club did you join? That is one gift my husband would absolutely love! He already gets mad if anyone touches "his" ice cream.

Lura said...

I think there is something wrong with me. I have 3 kids, ages 4,4, and 2 and I still sat and listened to/watched your video. There has to be something wrong with me! :)

Anonymous said...

I don't know if you had a chance to catch the new show, "Baby Borrowers" but I was curious about how they would present it so I did watch. It was sad to see the teenagers give up so quickly on those babies. I guess it's different when it's your own flesh and blood. My 2 youngest were deeply concerned for Brooklyn when they heard the screams coming from my laptop, but they were totally OK w/ it once they saw the video of dear brother and sister sitting next to her in the van. They were like "oh, been there-done that"
Maybe your new calling is lecturing teens on birth control.
You have time for that don't you??
Keep up the great work.

Anonymous said...

That was hilarious - the whole post! Clay covering his ears was my favorite part of the video.
Thanks !!

Julia said...

totally offtopic here but I found this and had to share it with you. the things that people search google for to find your blog are often very odd questions (when they're not some bizarre combination of random nouns and bodily functions).


this is apparently somewhere that you can type in a question and get an instant answer from somebody. so maybe we should send them there? although if we did, there'd be far less interesting things turning up in your view-counter thing....

Lisa Russell said...

Loved that- I can totally relate. I can't even imagine a play-by-play of our day. I'm betting you left out a bunch of stuff, too because I am sure those kids say crazy things all day. I wish I could Tevo my kids sometimes. I'm amused that so many readers could relate and equally amused by the ones who couldn't. welcome to our world...

Korkie said...

I actually left the sound track to the lovely short film, "Inside Brooklyn's Mouth", on while I caught up on my email.

I had only one thought running through my head ..... I've have GOT to be around for her teen years ....fun....fun....fun!!
Not that I would wish for any harm to your eardrums you understand..

I read through the rest of your post and came upon:

"When we got home, we saw that Joe's ice cream of the month shipment had arrived (his father's day present)."

My entire world stopped .... I just read that line over and over and over again.

Ice cream ..... delivered to my front door??
There is a God and he loves me so.

Now, if you will just send off the site I can order this wonderful, thoughtful, generous gift to myself, you will remain
'my new best friend.'


Anonymous said...

Dawn, I just read this article and I got really excited about seeing if some of these "helps" will help my little girl's behvior problems. I thought of Clay and Jackson and I wanted to share with you. http://www.diannecraft.com/article-011.htm

anyway, blessings to you, I love to red your blog, I just rarely post a comment :)

Cort said...

I think your husband would get along fabulously with my brother-in-law and my husband. This video is Exhibit A. My brother-in-law is the one you see, my husband is the one you can hear talking. Please note the close-up on the basil bottle. When I saw it, I said, "Did you empty that just to do this?" To which my husband responded, "Um, we may or may not be out of whole basil."


Tricia said...

Firecrackers in the BBQ pit. It makes a really loud bang. I am sure the kids would love it. Ummm... if it were the kids I caught doing it, and not grown men.

Rick said...

"Whipping, yelling, screaming, crying, shrieking, and howlering like monkeys?"

It sounds like military school already.


Welker Photography said...

The camera loves you!

I can't get enough of this since it is not MY child crying! I loved the contrast of the go-go-go-Joseph in its cheery tones and the wa-wa-wa as the main melody. What amazing counterpoint. I suspect whoever engineered this is a genius.

And as a mother to 5, I understand the joy of such things. I ran in to my doctor for a quick check up. I had 3 wet kids in swim suits, drinking icees and eating happy meals, watching a video, windows open, 82 degrees and we were parked in the shade. The windows were open since the kids said the air conditioner was too cold. The windows are dark on the van and my 16 year old is short, but someone called the police.

I am so grateful when people are so helpful. After all, a parent couldn't possibly make a wise decision on their own. Things like tantrums must mean abuse, right? And of course the police caller (imagine this part crossed out - tattle taler) couldn't have asked the kids if they were okay first of where mommy was. Well, I am still steamed over that. My son showed the cop his high school id, and told his birthdate and the policeman saw that all was fine and left smiling.

People have looked at me like I was a criminal over the years when I tell them I have more than 3 kids. I kid you not! Who do they think is going to pay their Social Security? And my kids are all so brainy. Who is going to find ways to feed all the starving people? My other son has rheumatoid arthritis and wants to find its cure (and own disney world. Both admirable goals and we think if he does one, he can do the other...) so why not have more kids like that.

Oh well. Dawn, thanks for setting such a good example. Your rants or more clever and funny than mine. And they totally describe my life. It makes me feel less alone in my daily battle and helps me enjoy the precious moments of being a mom.

I love being a mom more than anything in the world, except maybe playing with dry ice...

Welker Photography said...

My older kids enjoy your daily comments almost as much as I do. However, I do edit out the medical procedures (such as your doctor visits.) But, they can't get enough of the comments. I don't know if it is because it sounds so much like our home, or because it is so funny, or because they do so much babysitting and can understand.

Either way, it helps put our lives (and chaos) into perspective!

fyi, my almost 3 year old just came to me and told me she is turning purple. I asked her where. She said, she is turning blueberry. You can bet that Willy Wonka is on somewhere.

A few minutes later she and her big sister were having a battle over which polly pockets belong to which girl. I asked the two year old where her polly pockets where and she responded that her polly pockets died. What do you say to that? "Oh, you have my deepest sympathies?" Well, I sadly asked, "Really?" and then snorted as she walked out of the room. She is so funny.

SimpleGems said...

I know I am like 1 in 1000 who will respond to you but I must say I love that I found you! I laughed as I read about MY world! (Well, minus 3) Thank you for making me smile! Hope it is ok that I'm linking to you...

Unknown said...

Sounds like here! I feel so normal now, oh the joys of parenting huh

Life said...

I think you would love this site - make your own wordle, perfect blog post when time is short, readers can link the words together & guess the story!

nutralady2001 said...

Savannah's "death stare" when the video was focused on her just cracked me right up !!

Think I'll show the video to my daughter she can't wait to be married and a Mum....although when I told her that when my Mum was her age ( 22) she already had me, she shuddered

She is having the time of her life in NC as a Counsellor at a Summer Camp. Speaking of mini-vans she drives the Camp one......I try not to think about it because over there you drive on the wrong side of the road...j/k . Thank God for the internet is all I can say I keep up with what she is doing on Facebook and the Camp website

TheHMC said...

Okay, I'm sorry.. but the fact that you quoted National Lampoon has officially made you one of my most favorite people ever. I can already relate to you on so many levels, and you crack me up every day, but that.. that one just put it over the top. A quote in my every day language has been "Are you serious Clark?" for years.

The video...I've said it before and I'm saying it again.. Brooklyn reminds me so much of my daughter(who is 2 today) and that video just proves it to me that much more. I was rolling at Austins close up on Savannah and the eyes she gave him. And then Clayton(that was him, right?) covering his ears.. that ENTIRE scene could've been filmed at my house.

And, because I adore you so much, check this out http://outnumberedbythebrood.blogspot.com/2008/06/sharing-bloggity-love.html
I was given a blog "award" and was told to share it with others. You are one of my "others". Enjoy.

Joslin @ Just Batty said...

Lol, I can barely handle toning out screaming of my own child. Did anyone actually make it all the way through the video?

Anonymous said...

I almost stopped watching the video, but it was worth it just to see her calm herself and start chewing again. Your children are very tolerant--or is it that they're just so used to it? I noticed that you were listening to "Joseph". I LOVE that play and soundtrack! It's playing here at "Stages" in July in St. Louis. You should come--it's not too far away and we have lots to do in ole St. Lou.

Shelly M. Burrows said...

Dear Lord!! There needs a spew warning! You know coca cola through the nose does not feel very well?! Love the blog, I can relate to just about all of it!

janetcc said...

I could tell Savannah was counting the days until college in the video. Priceless.

Does Brooklyn have an aversion to strollers too? Seems like poor Austin is her beast of burden - of course how many other 13 year olds get the built-in work out without weight benches and dumb bells?

nutralady2001 said...

Oh and it wasn't Savannah with the death stare was it? She was in the orthodontist, my bad........... pssst so who is it? I can't remember my 3 children's names at times I'd be hopeless with 6, going through all the names beofre I hit on the right one of the child I'm talking to

Mrs. M said...

With 6 kids under 6, the screaming wasn't what I was listening to. It was the soundtrack to Joseph and His Amazing Technicolored Dreamcoat. I think I'm going to have to break out my CD and subject the children to it. They'll love it when I sing along (note the sarcasm)!

Love your blog! Thanks for the laughs. It's nice to know there are other families out there as crazy as mine.

ShellyBlake said...

I was wondering - do you yell a lot? I'm thinking of your "food on the floor & milk left on the counter" comments...I was just yelling at my kids this AM about that (the milk that is) and it drives me nuts that they do it all the time! We're trying not to "yell" so much but I can't imagine how you do it w/ 6 kids when I only have 2 and I'm on the edge of sanity most days! And I'm not a SAHM either! By the time your kids have moved out Dawn, you should be nominated for saint-hood! ;o)

Mama C. said...

I'm sitting here, in relative peace and quiet (except for the sound of Spongebob Squarepants in the background, currently playing on my youngest daughter's TV), so I decided to come visit you, Dawn, since I hadn't read your blog in a long time.

It's amazing how us moms gravitate to the one thing that equals the sound of fingernails on a chalkboard -- babies pitching fits. I swear, my youngest daughter and your Brooklyn have been separated at birth -- I can't tell you HOW MANY TIMES my youngin' has pitched the exact same fit over THE EXACT SAME THING. Someone other than her designated slave...er, seatbelt buckler, has buckled her into her carseat. Let the screaming begin!

I'm just glad I wasn't taking a sip of my iced coffee when I read that Brooklyn's screams were "pure birth control". Otherwise, I would now have spat it out of pretty much all the cavities of my head, and there would be coffee drippind down my newly cleaned computer screen. You are definitely a hoot, m'dear!



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