Monday, January 3, 2011

It's Time for Another Episode of CRAZY GOOGLERS!

I haven't checked my Google search phrases in a long time. There were over 6000 search terms that brought people to my blog. Here is a sampling of the crazies interesting people out there in cyber space.

dawn damalas meehan divorce
dawn meehan "divorce was final"
dawn meehan divorce?
dawn meehan ex husband
dawn meehan gets divorced
dawn meehan husband
dawn meehan joe divorce
dawn meehan joe lies
dawn meehan kids custody
dawn meehan+divorce
did dawn meehan get divorced?
dawn meehan divorce
"dawn meehan" divorce
joe meehan divorce dawn meehan
mom 2 my 6 pack divorce
when did dawn meehan get divorced
dawn meehan divorced
dawn meehan husband alcoholism because i said so divorce
"because i said so" "dawn meehan" divorce
because i said so divorce
because i said so, blog, divorce
dawn meehan divorce
dawn meehan + divorce
dawn meehan divorce what happened
dawn meehan divorce becauseisaidso
i am really sorry to hear about your divorce
mom 2 my 6 pack divorce

why did dawn meehan get a divorce
Wow! It's like a soap opera or something. Yes, I got divorced last year.

i can't seem to tune out my toddlers wines
Oh see, that's what you're doing wrong. You're supposed to drink the wine in order to tune out your toddler.

vomit costume
hate vomit can i be a mom
i don't want to throw up
don't want kids they vomit
don't want to vomit
i can't even think about vomit without wanting to throw up
These searches should be banned from my blog! Seriously.

i don't know how to be a single mom
Welcome to the club. Neither do I.

i don't want my kid mopping at school what should i say to her teacher
I agree! Tell her teacher that mopping is the janitor's job!

dawn name old lady
Hey now!

when mom asked the question "where is the dog?" we all became worried.
I'm worried! And disturbed that this brought you to my blog.

playland pee pants
Seriously? Why does this one always show up on my blog???

polish butt
(((polish))) butt
"butt polish"
polish for butt
butt in polish
the word buttock in polish

poland butt
polish word for butt
polish butts
"butt" polish
butt dupa
dupa butthead
butt poland
how do y say butt in polish
butt polish

polish but
butt pollish
how do you say butt in polish
what's butt in polish
a polish butt
Bet you didn't know there were so many ways to ask this question, did you?

can i use butpaste in my face for makeup
It depends. Are you a clown?

few more days to go of my birthday, my age getting older
Really? That's so odd. I thought one's age got younger with each passing birthday.

how do australians feel about vegemite
I can tell you how this American feels about Vegemite. Refer back to the searches on vomit.

how do you say la'taniana'bo'vanashrianiqualiquanice
Ms. Smith

how to handle it when people think i am my daughters grandma
If it's a woman, ask her if she's her child's father. If it's a man, ask him if he's his child's mother. Or kick them.

how to make your mom say yes to driving you to a friends at 1030 at night
Ha ha ha ha ha! You're funny!

how to tell a friend you are sorry their mom is sick
Do you have a pen and paper? Okay, take notes because this is complicated. You say, "I'm sorry your mom is sick." Got all that? Want me to repeat it?

how to write a funny blog post in 42 minutes
Take a bunch of stupid google search phrases and make fun of them.

"got glasses" or "got * glasses" or "got contacts" or "got * contacts" or "got lenses" or "got * lenses"
Wow. Just wow.

"how long" does scooba take "to clean a room"
What's more intriguing - scooba or the random use of quotation marks?

"mr. heckles" dies friends "supposebly" joey chandler
"ms. hermit crab"
"my underwear"+"a nurse"
"pelvic exam" "me in" daughter "table with"
"snow in his underwear"
"ugh that stinks" "stinky"

There really should be a Punctuation Impaired self-help group.

how to make grocery shopping easier for my young kids
Leave them at home.

... i like the way you ... i see cause .. you baby i can .. your ... let me ... busy.. im so pretty .. stop .. she like .. she walk ..
Oh look at that! It's time for your meds!

all the polly pocket stuff that has been made on earth
Evil Things for $400, Alex

beat it i beat she let me she been fielding sience she let me

the scariest place on earth
You've been in Jackson and Clay's room, huh?

killer moth
See? Someone else has seen a killer moth! I didn't make it up! They exist!

i'm rich
I'm single!

101 uses for vodka
I can think of one.

dick van dyke dentures
Sheesh, and I thought Justin Bieber nail polish was a bad idea.

dishes for birds
I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure birds don't use dishes.

i drink wine every nigjt, i am divcored singe mom
You were drinking when you wrote this, weren't you?

i have 3 boys how can i try to have girl next
Well, it starts with a man and woman who love each other...

i have children when do i get my life back
When you figure it out, let me know.

i just realized i google the weirdest things
You and 80,000 other people...

i love lingerie -- oh my god. i even have a subscription to the victoria's secret catalog. well, i don't have a subscription, my neighbor does. she just hasn't received it for a couple of years.
Ha! This was actually funny!

i say cause you say cause one

i told you kids to stay out of my butt!
You might want to see a doctor for that.

i walked up behind my friend and slapped her on the butt. then right after i hit her, i realized it wasn't my friend! it was a strange girl i'd never seen before, but then i had to see her every day!. it was so embarrassing
Well it's a good thing you didn't type it in Google so a million people could read about it.

i was late for work because i didn't know i needed gas in my car?
Just my two cents, but I think your boss is more likely to believe this if you end it with a period, or even an exclamation point.

is it crazy to want six kids
Yes, yes it is.

it's my best friend birthday and i dont know what to write on her facebook wall anyhelp.
You're the same person who asked how to tell your friend that you're sorry her mom is sick, aren't you?

locked up in a liquor store with you
Definition of awesome

looking great after 6 kids
Awww, thank you!

my stomach is sore and i keep pooing and peeing myself what should i do
See a doctor.

my teen daughter pee his pants and grying
I'm more concerned about this person's English, than I am about the hermaphrodite pee-er.

opposite of vegemite

say i'm crying in technical terms
I'm shedding saline solution from my lacrimal apparatus.

should i go to a football game if it is raining while being pregnant
Heck no! You should use any excuse you can think of to get out of going to a football game!

things a mom doesn't want to hear
Mom, there's something wrong with the toilet and water is everywhere!

wats my first real name cause i have no idea wat is it
Maybe you forgot it the same time you forgot how to spell "what".

what does a glass exploding in your hand mean?
It means you're holding it just a little too tightly. Either that or you're a wizard or something.

what does the phrase "here you go brooklyn" mean?
It's what we say to get her to shut up.

what does this phrase means "my son turns 4 tomorrow"
I'm not sure, but I think it's means your son is three and it's his birthday tomorrow.


Unknown said...

I don't know if it's the fact that it's after 1 in the morning, that I've been grumpy because my baking powder is not working right, or that I'm just easily amused... but this was hilarious. Thank you for brightening my night and making me cackle!

Diana said...

Oh my! I never knew that there were so many idiots out there!

Sarah said...

These are so hysterical. I don't understand how all these googles lead them to your blog, but it's a great laugh for you & the rest of us! :0) Thanks for starting my day with a laugh!

Anonymous said...

seriously funny! love your sense of humour.

Unknown said...

Hilarious!! And, we have a grocery store up here in WI that has a "Tot Spot", I bring the kids, drop them off to play and shop kid-free!! It's great!

Robin said...

Always entertaining! Thanks for sharing the stupidity of others! :)

Ginny Clark said...

I think that is the FUNNIEST round of google searches ever. I've not laughed that hard in a long time. I wonder about people sometimes :)
and Dawn, your comments totally make the whole thing worth reading.

V1nce said...

Just a few quick notes, Dawn:

(1) Still don't believe anyone else out there thinks there are killer moths. It was probably a typo. The words shark and moth are easily confused by some.

(2) Justin Bieber? Really? Does that abomination really need any more press??! He's definitely Hillary Duff masquerading as a boy trying to make a comeback. Look at the cheek bones. That hair. The voice. It's her I tell ya!

(3) Lacrimal apparatus. Not going to say anything more but hand you the soap young lady...

MaBunny said...

Seriously Dawn, had I been drinking something while reading this, it would have come out of my nose!! Thanks for the laughs!

Marly said...

wow, it's been a while since I laughed so hard I cried. That was seriously awesome!

Jess said...

Funny! I'd say LOL but my kids are asleep and you know how precious and few those moments of quiet are so I am giggling into my pillow. Thanks for sharing.

Lorna said...

Sorry to spoil the fun on some of them.. (or maybe add to it!)

Quotation marks means it's a phrase that HAS to be in the search. ie "Dogs play poker" is different from Dogs play poker .. and differed still from dogs AND play AND poker.

..Why are you falling asleep? I stopped before I go truly geeky!

Erin T. said...

"101 uses of vodka" got them to your page?! That totally made my day!!

JennyF said...

I love the FB status updates and Tweets that become Google searches. Oops -- wrong window! These are always good for a laugh. Thank you for sharing these!

Chick Hatchers said...

Does it mean I'm addicted to Facebook if I was looking for a "Like" link after so many of these? I loved them. Thank you for the laugh.

Amanda said...

I always love the random Google searches that lead people to your blog. Cracks me up every time!

Lorien Clark said...

Oh I can't stop laughing. Thank you.

Shannon said...

The one "i told you kids to stay out of my butt!" is just a line from Toy Story 3. It is actually one of my favorite lines! Mr. Potato Head is talking.....=)

Corie said...

I have laughed so hard at this I have cried a number of times. How do you do this search to see what terms bring people to your blog?

Unknown said...

I laughed over the "joe lies". Have you ever seen "Say Anything"? Lili Taylor plays a stalker ex-girlfriend, Corey, and sings 63 songs about Joe. You can buy tshirts online that say "Joe lies" from the movie.:)
Girl, I think of you everyday. As a mom of 6, I understand you. Your fans hear you. Please remember that you are NEVER alone. Keep the faith.

hannahkhastings said...

It's great to know I am not the only hilarious, happy go lucky single mom of six! :) God Bless You!

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