Thursday, May 15, 2008

How Many More Days Until School's Out?

I can't wait for school to be out! Yeah, yeah, I know what you're thinking. Sometime in July, when I'm bribing school officials to institute year-round school, I'll deny ever saying this. But for now, I can't wait for school to be out. This is the only time of the year that I'm on the same page as my teacher friends. We're all counting down.

We have one day over 60 degrees and the kids think it's summer. As I'm folding laundry, I see the little ones streak by me in their bathing suits.

"Hey! Where do you think you're going?"
"Outside. Mom, can we go swimming?"
"Where? In the mud puddle by the swingset?"
"Will you set up the pool?"
"Sure, let's have a pool party." My kids learn all about sarcasm at an early age.
"Awww why not? It's really hot out here."
"Because I said so."
"But whyyyy?"
"Because I'm mean."

Clayton decided that since it's summer, it's high time he learned how to ride a big 2 wheeler. So he climbed up onto Joe's tool bench, found the appropriately sized wrench and proceeded to remove his training wheels. He did just turn four afterall. He then (and this is the really impressive part!) returned the wrench to my husband's tool box, and placed his training wheels upon the work bench. They know to return my husband's tools to their proper place! However, they paint maps of Florida with my spatula, dig in the sand box with my ladle and give their hermit crabs baths in my Tupperware and then lose my kitchen gadgets. I've got to ask Joe his secret.

Anyway, he hops on his bike and takes off. Ta Da. Nothing more to it. The kid is nuts. Jackson was the same way. But when Austin was 4 or 5, he tried to ride a 2 wheeler and fell off. He got back on and fell again. He then threw the bike down, said it was stupid and stomped off. He didn't try again for a year. Savannah, when learning to ride without training wheels, tried and fell and tried and fell and tried and fell about a thousand times. She was one giant walking bruise, but she learned to ride that thing!

Anyway, the older kids think it's summer too. Baseball games often last until 8:30. By the time they get home, grab a snack, shower, and finish their homework, it's 10:00. They're tired and don't want to get up for school in the morning. Of course, because it's so summery outside at a balmy 50 degrees these days, Savannah thinks she doesn't need a jacket at her softball games.

"Don't you want your UnderArmor? Are you sure you want to wear your softball shorts? Why don't you at least put on a t-shirt under your sleeveless jersey?"

She looked at me and rolled her eyes. She rolled her eyes! She said, "It's hot outside," but what she meant was, "Are you daft, old woman? How did you ever make it this far in life? Clearly, you're stupid."
Of course, I fully exercised my right to say, "I told you so!" when, shivering, she broke down and asked me to get her sweatshirt.

And the middle kids also think it's summer. They're done with school. Homework takes them 2.3 minutes to do these days. They've forgotten how to read. I can actually see their brain cells going into summer hibernation.

Me? I'm just tired of getting them up and off to school and I'm tired of battling with them to get homework done, especially on baseball days. I'd rather sit outside around a campfire and talk until late at night then sleep in and not worry about homework for a couple weeks. I love summer!


Did I tell you guys I finally got new couches? They've been in pretty sad shape since this incident, but I didn't want to spend any money on new ones because I know the kids are just going to trash them. We had people over the other day. Our couch swallowed one of our guests. We tried pulling them out, but the only things we were able to retrieve were Kix, granola bar wrappers, change, a pencil, a piece of chewed gum, part of a blackened banana peel, a petrified cheese stick, three socks, a cow, a harmonica, and an empty toilet paper roll. At this point, we decided it was probably time to bury our old couch and get a new one. Thank you to Suburban Correspondant at The More, The Messier for her suggestion of Ektorp furniture by Ikea. This furniture has slip covers that are washable! Do you know what this means? It means, if when the kids throw up chicken, mashed potatoes and undigested corn all over the couch, I can wash it Joe can wash it! When Brooklyn drools chocolate on the cushions, I can just pop them into the washer. When Clayton sticks his hands in my container of powdered sugar like a gymnast getting ready for his routine on the bar and then somersalts across the love seat, no problem, I can stick the covers in the wash. Not that this has happened or will happen or anything. I'm just saying hypothetically. Just in case. Oh, who am I kidding? I just got them on Sunday and they're already covered in chocolate and powdered sugar and chock full of crumbs. My "No eating in the family room under penalty of death" rule is certainly working.


One more thing - Jenny at Three Kid Circus is having a contest where you can win a new Wii console, Fitness game, and balance board! Just blog about (or leave her a comment with) your most embarrassing fitness purchase story. Do you have a treadmill that's now a clothes hanger? Did you require an ER visit after using the Thigh Master? Did you realize that Buns of Steel was not intended for use for people who have buns of pudding? Write about it and you could win! She's accepting entries until midnight, Friday, May 16th.


Deeanna said...

AMEN! I started counting down for the ending of the school year once May hit. Thankfully I only have 6 more days of packing lunches, dragging kids out of bed and begging them to do their homework. (I think I'm more excited then my kids are...)

I've been reading your blog for quite some time now...Congrats on all your success!

Rick said...

If I'm ever hungry while visiting at your place I'll know to go sit on the couch and dig around in the cushions for something I can find to eat - a granola bar? Some cereal? A previous guest?

Brenda said...

I love your couch story. Thanks for the tip on Ikea. I will check that out. Funny, I just took the covers off the cushions on my couch this week and put them in the wash. I thought I had nothing to lose. They came out great. I'm going to try the couch in the family room. Unfortunately only the seat cushions come off though.

Unknown said...

My own children will be home with me all summer. As a teacher, my students are off the wall. They are like caged Monkeys who have nothing better to do but annoy the crap out of me! I cannot wait for school to be over!!!

MaBunny said...

AACCK Dawn, I was innnocently eating my wheaties this morning, when I came across your comment about Buns of Steel should not be used by people with Buns of Pudding and the wheaties went flying out of my mouth all over my husbands computer, thank God he isn't home!
Still LMAO
Thanks for a funny morning:))

Laura said...

Hi! I just had to leave you a comment today because I have the Ektorp sofas. The slip covers wash nicely and go back on fine for awhile. I have a tan one and a white one. (white? with a 2 year old? yes, it was an insane mistake...) anyway, the tan one is fine still but the white one's zippers have completely disintigrated. I am not sure if I did something wrong, but the pulls completely fell apart and now I can't zip 3 of the cushions at all! :( Maybe try zipping them shut when you wash them, I don't know. OH! and you have to wash the big piece separately or else they don't rinse well. Ok, good luck! :)

TheHMC said...

Yaaaay for new couches! I'm the same way.. I don't like to buy brand new ones anymore, knowing that my kids are just going to destroy it.

We got a Lane couch some years back. Beautiful sectional.. just gorgeous. We had it 3 days(yep, 3 WHOLE days.. it may be a record. A long distance record at that lol) before my-at the time 2 year old-8year old dumped half a bottle of nail polish on it. People told me "Oh Lane is great. You'll have that couch forever!"

No. No you won't. Not even with just 2 small children in the house. I have 5 now and I will NOT be spending $1700 on a "well made couch" again anytime in the near future. We just bought a sofa sleeper for $100 from a family friend that's used it once. That, my friends, is more reasonable. When I'm.. uhhh.. going on 50 and get the last rugrat kicked out.. I mean.. off to college, I'm buying an entire living room set. maybe two, just because I'll finally be able to.

And I hear you on the summer thing. Right now, I'm soooo ready for NO early mornings and not having to do the homework before we go to soccer practice or games.

Speaking of.. I suppose I need to send the rugrats out the door. When is the kids' last day? Mine are out officially next Thurs(22nd) and only go to school until 10:30 am for the last 2 days.. whatever that's about.

Blue Skies said...

I am so with you on the summer thing. My least favorite part of school right now is lunch. One daughter is picky the other is gluten/casein free. I'm ready for them to scrounge for themselves!
Congrats on the new couches. One thought came to mind on your washable slipcovers - buy an extra set. Just like for your bed. One on the couch, one in the wash. Otherwise you might find the couch itself will have to fit into the wash soon too......

vande2 said...

I've had an Ektorp couch for a little over a year now, and I wanted to share...mine was stiff in the beginning, but with the rugrats jumping on it daily, it softened up in no time. I rather liked the pine-y smell it had for a while. My slipcovers have also held up fairly well, but the part of the base cover that is the thin, white material somehow has scooched down on both of them until it rubs on the velcro when the jumping happens, and that has worn holes in it. Overall, not a bad deal, and I so LOVE being able to wash them. Maybe when the kids are adults I can own nice, expensive furniture, but for now these are wonderful.

Happy last few weeks of school!

Anonymous said...

Just what you need...more laundry ;-)

Jen lleras said...

those washable cushions are great but be careful about how much you wash and on which setting I have had to replace two zippers and sew up three corner seems on mine, sometimes I wish I had just paid more money to have something not "ikea" and put a purchased slip cover over it.
Good Luck and sorry to hear your couch ate your friend.

Ryley @ That's My Family! said...

Word of advise with the couch..
Believe me.. a kid will puke.. you'll pull the slip cover off, it will sit in the laundry room for 2 weeks (or longer) while your couch remains unprotected...

SuddenlySouthernCyndi said...

I hate it when the furniture eats my guests!

Anonymous said...

On the bright side the empty toilet roll had made it from the bathroom, that must be a success from the change-the-toilet-roll-speeches?
And, as a very proud swede I just have to say: Ikea rules!!!

Keren said...

Love your point about the kids being so meticulous with Joe's things but not yours. Last night I had a late event to attend out of town and my husband was on his own with our two kids for dinner/bedtime. When putting the older one (5) to sleep, he commented on how well-behaved she had been. She answered, "Well, since Mom is gone and you were on your own, I thought I should make it easy for you." What the?!

Colleen - Mommy Always Wins said...

Its so funny how the way a kid learns to ride a bike speaks VOLUMES about their personalities and how they'll handle other situations in their lives.

Me? I was the "don't-touch-me-or-my-bike-I'll-do-it-myself-even-if-I-do-it-crying-with-scraped-knees-and-blood-drips-down-my-leg-but-I'm-doing-this-NOW!" kid.

Theresa in Mèrida said...

60 degrees sounds lovely right now, even though I know that I would be complaining about it and wearing a sweater. It's been in the 100s this week. It was 88 this morning with a high of 107 expected! May is the hottest month here, I can't wait for July and the rains. Amazing what you get used to!

jdb in AZ said...

So, how long did it take to rescue your guest from the sofa? At my DMIL's estate sale, an oversize cusstomer sat down in an average size armchair, and got stuck. It took three men to haul her out. Two guys pulling on her arms, and one pushing from behind. Maybe they shoulda just greased her hips and waved a Twinkie in fron of her nose. said...

Washable slipcovers, nothing.

My plan is to install fire sprinklers inside the house, and once a week, run a lighter by them and Presto! Clean house!


Oh was worth a shot.

Anonymous said...

SSO: Did I miss a post or has Austin not yet turned in his project for school for which everybody sent in postcards? I remember it being due in May, but I haven't seen any maps for a while. thanks!

PeppyPilotGirl said...

I have the Ektorp sofa! Love it. Love the slipcover feature. One warning, DON'T PUT THE SLIPCOVERS IN THE DRYER unless it's on "no heat" - they shrink and then won't fit back on. Hang 'em on the line to dry and you'll stay much happier.

Neisey said...

Hey Dawn! What are you doing with your old couch? From the picture (where the wood is sticking out the back) it looks like the same fabric as mine (circa 1993-94) and we have a hole in the back of ours that could use fixing.

My husband lost a teeny, tiny electronic piece between the cushions of ours recently and I now know why we have so many unmatched socks - all along I thought our washer was eating them but after pulling 13 single socks(plus assorted other "treasures", including a $5 bill)from our couch I can't blame the washer anymore!

Michelle said...

Hmm. There must be something wrong with me. Little Miss's last day of preschool is next Thursday, and Mister Man's is June 4. And I don't want them to ever stop going. Mister Man actually starts summer school for 6 weeks on June 9, but Little Miss and Mommy are going to be doing some serious bonding. Here's hoping she's going to love running errands!

And yep, I posted my horribly embarrassing exercise purchase. Thanks for the inspiration, Dawn. At least it cracked me up to remember what a moron I was....

Mary said...

I'm sick of driving my daughter to school too. And sitting in the parking lot this afternoon waiting for her to get out was no fun - 101 degrees outside!

My daughter got 3 days off this week though, oh so nice! Ok it wasn't really time off, she got suspended. Bad kid. She was caught with *gasp* Ibuprofen! (Advil) Ahh, the mom taxi got to take a break and I loved it!

I think I also need a new couch. I let my toddler go without a diaper for a bit today to "air out" which resulted in a toxic waste spill on the couch. You can imagine.

Aileen said...

Dawn I think we should trade weather for your kid's sake, it was a HOT 102 degrees today and it's only May!

kimikki said...

On the bicycle thing, my mom taught us (and the neighbor kids) to ride bikes. We didn't get the luxury of training wheels. We would sit on a bike (24", if I remember right), and Mom would give us a push, sending us rolling down the front lawn. Our siblings would be lined up along the ditchbank, to make an attempt at catching us before we would end up in the ditch. Our choices were to pedal or be caught by a sibling before the dreaded ditch ate us and our bikes. I don't remember hitting the ditch. One neighbor boy took his ride down the driveway, couldn't stop, and hit the garage door.

mommeeof10 said...

My kids have managed to destroy 5 couches so far. 2 were brand new and 3 were used. I'm not buying new furniture until my youngest is in school.

Kathy said...

Friday is the last day of school for my kids, they are really excited. As for the bike thing, I'm more like Austin. I kept falling and stomped off and gave up, but I never came back to it. At least he tried again after a year!

craftywitch said...

Dawn, I gotta do it, simply because usually you are such a stickler for spelling and grammar :) Buns of STEEL...... not steal lol, no one wants to shoplift buttcheeks. :)

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