Tuesday, November 20, 2007

I Talk to Monsters

I had this conversation with my three year old today.

CLAY: I dream about monsters. They talk to me when I'm asleep.
ME: Are they nice monsters like Elmo?
CLAY: Moooom! Elmo isn't a monster.
ME: Yes, he is. He's a friendly monster.
CLAY: Mooom. You mean cookie monster?! He says this as if I'm completely stupid.
ME: Yes, Cookie Monster is a monster. So is Elmo. And Grover. They're all nice monsters.
CLAY: Elmo isn't a monster.
ME: Ok. What is he?
CLAY: He's Elmo (DUH!)
How do you argue with that reasoning?

Kids know everything. Much like Bill Cosby, I realize there is no reasoning with a child. You'll feel your own IQ slip a few points if you try.

While cleaning her teeth this afternoon, the dentist informed my six year old that her bottom teeth were starting to get wiggly.
ME: Are you excited? Soon you'll lose your first tooth! You'll be able to put your tooth under your pillow for the Tooth Fairy!
DENTIST: What does the Tooth Fairy bring you when you lose a tooth?
LEXI: Well, if you put three teeth in your pillow, the Tooth Fairy brings you like three quarters. Or if you put one tooth in your pillow, she brings you a dollar.

Remind me to work with Lex on her math skills.

Stop by Mamaslike to see the latest, greatest gift ideas, find out what's on sale, and enter for a chance to win!


Anonymous said...

Get. Out. Am I first?!?! No free signed book yet.... but AM I FIRST?

By the way, have a Happy Thanksgiving!
KR :-D

Miss Allison said...

That was hilarious! I love chatting with my three year old. She does firmly believe that she is smarter than me.

And the math on the tooth fairy--just perfect!

I LOVE your blog. I check it all the time!

Rebecca said...

I've never left a comment before...but I've been reading.

I have a 7 year old who hasn't lost any teeth yet, he doesn't want to lose any. He hates change and it grosses him out to think he'll lose his teeth.

My 4 year old loves Super Grover. That's his favorite monster.

MamaD said...

My 3 1/2 yr old son dreams of BLUE monsters every night. They pinch him in his sleep..yep! :)

My Semblance of Sanity said...

I JUST love the dialogue you give us!! Kids are soooo stinkin' funny!!!!

I linked to you tonight - check it out!

Aubrey said...

What do the monsters say to Clay?

Audrey said...

I freaking love your business!! My husband calls me a blog stalker but I swear I am harmless.... My best friend has 6 kidlets age 8 and under and you remind me so much of her. I admire your wisdom and your humor and your passion for your family. What lucky kids!

JO said...

Love the reasoning skills - my son was actually afraid of the Cookie Monster until we told him it was a FUZZY rather than a monster - go figure,huh?



plainprecious said...

Speaking of teeth..... My 4 year old who believes thanks to his 15 year old brother that he is a pro wrestler has murdered his front top tooth!!!! Noah hit his mouth not once but twice a few Sundays ago. First time he jumped from a foot stool in livingroom and smacked his mouth into the entertainment center. Entertaining?? Ummmm NO He ried for an hour as blood gushed from his busted lip... After he stopped holding a wet washcloth in his mouth and the bleeding had finally slowed he went up to his room and flung himself off his top bunk and smashed his face into his shelves leading to yet another bloody lip. The end result is his tooth has turned brown. Also thanks to my older boys 19 and said 15 year olds they have told Noah that if his tooth falls out he gets money from the tooth fairy. Thus leading him to wiggle jiggle and tug on all his teeth in hopes of piles of money. Good grief. I am not ready to go through the whole teeth falling out thing. When my older kids were little more than once the tooth fairy forgot to leave money because she waited so long for the kid to fall asleep she snoozed. Then I had to make excuses like oh look here I found an envelope with your name on it seems it fell out of her purse thats why you didnt get it. and I gave myself a V8 smack on the head. No not looking forward to this at all. :(

Jennifer said...

How cute.

Anonymous said...

I fully agree with the I.Q. loss. I quit argueing with mine when I lost the first battle to my 2 year old.

Frogmorest said...

My six year old informed me that if the tooth fairy wanted her teeth she'd have to pay like $10 each for them or else she was keeping them... lol!

Kristy said...

lol to funny. My 7 year old is on her 3rd tooth and she acts dissappointed about her $1 under her pillow, guess I should start sticking $3 under there for the one tooth. lol. Kids are so much fun!

Kathy Frederick said...

Quarters are shinier. Dollars are dull. Makes perfect sense to me. Lexi's math skills are fine just the way they are :)

suburbancorrespondent said...

Maybe Lexi is right, and it's the Tooth Fairy that needs to work on his/her math skills?

Shannon Buckbee said...

OH what kids will say! The favorites from my kids are:

Me: Dustin what are you made of? (me trying to be smart and teach the systems of the body)

Dustin: Well I"m about 99% country boy.

Me: Really? What's the other 1%

Dustin: Smelly Gas

Or the time my youngest son noticed that I was upset with my husband. I heard him go up to my husband and tell him to put on his Cub Scout Leader Uniform. When my husband asked why he should do that, my son's response was. "Well mom always says she likes a man in uniform!"

Thank you for the morning laughs Dawn! I can't wait for the book.

Shannon in Texas
Homeschooling my two boys 12 & 10
Wife to Chris

Rick said...

Yippie! I'm first!! Oh, I keep forgetting how dumb I look when I do that.

As a child, I stayed up one night and pretended I was asleep until my Mom played the role of tooth fairy and place money under my pillow.

I wasn't risking much. The loose tooth compensation was only a dime back then.

For a buck I would have knocked myself out to make sure that I was asleep.


Charissa said...

My son and I had an argument over whether Elmo is a boy or a girl. Now there is a poll question for you.

Jacki Weikert said...

Monster - That's what I call our 2 year old on occassion! and I suppose our 7 month old will be called that eventually.

I love your blog and usually laugh so hard I cry! or shake my head in total agreement.

Keep up the good work!

Shari said...

You are right I've tried to reason and argue with them, but it seems I never win, they always have a reply for everything you say! :)

My Semblance of Sanity said...

Dawn, Just wondering how many hits you get a day?

You kill me!!

Anonymous said...

I am not first.

Michele said...

In the past, you've said that people argue about who gets to be first to comment - please tell me this is a rare moment where I, a first time commenter, get to be first! Do I get a book?! LOL!!!

My son had it good - but there was only one of him. He got one of every coin (penny, nickle, dime, quarter, half dollar, silver dollar and gold dollar) when he put a tooth under his pillow. When he had to have a tooth pulled at the dentist, he got a $5.00 bill.

Anonymous said...

Hi Dawn, Is 25 cents the amount the tooth fairy leaves at your house? Just curious. My son usually gets 1.00 but I only have one kid. Also at what age do they stop losing them. My son is 11 and their still coming out. I might be nuts but I have kept them all. I can only imagine the big bag of teeth you would have. Corn anyone? LOL Kristine in Michigan.

Anonymous said...

Hi Again Dawn, Just had to tell you a funny that happened here. I had my frozen Thankgiving turkey on my front porch during the day for a couple hours, And a friggin stray cat had a snack on it! Chewed through the net and plastic and skin. I hope the little thief gets mighty sick! I think I can still cook it. I will just keep it to myself...knowing it has been served Twice! LOL Kristine in Michigan

MissHum22 said...

Coming from two eccentric geek parents, my daughters are quite immersed in monster culture, as well as Star Wars mythology and skeletons. This conversation just happened the other night with my (just turned)3 year old:
Nadja: Momma's the Death Star! (giggle)
Me: Did she call me a 'guest star'?
Daddy: I think she called you the Death Star. No Nadja - YOU'RE the Death Star! (tickles her)
Nadja: No I'm not! ... I rock out...in the woods... and play music for the bears.
Daddy: What kind of music do you play?
Nadja: Death Metal.

Apparently, and unbeknownst to me, my daughter has a popular death metal act out in the forest with the bears. And even though I am not the world's biggest fan of death metal or star wars (that would be her daddy), I still find her whacked-out train of thought to be both brilliant and hilarious.

Brenda said...

When my now 7th grader was in kindergaraten I told him he needed to work on his math skills. He looked completely insulted and said "I do NOT have math skills." LOL

Colleen said...

Heh, Elmo is a monster? I just thought he was a furry dude. Hmm.. guess I never caught on to that too well.

Heh, lets hope your daughter loses her teeth three at a time instead of one. :)

I remember arguing with my three year old. Now that hes four, hes realized that mommy knows stuff too.

Shellie said...

At least you don't overhear one of your little ones telling another one of them "Mom's crazy". And I went to help my son's kindergarten class and one off the kids comes up to me, all big eyed and asks me "Are you G.'s mom? Is it true that you have short term memory loss?" I loved the Monday morning post. I thought you were at my house. Spooky!

mkbkelly said...

You must get Clay here to PA to go to Sesame Place. The 'monsters' are lifesized!!!

Let us know, we'll go with you ;) We had a blast there this summer.

Our 3yo Quinn wouldn't go stand next to the characters for photos, so all of my Sesame Place photos are of my 10yo, 7yo and the character. Then we saw Oscar.....He is in his can, so he can't get me....Quinn finally posed for a picture.

Anonymous said...

Children are adorable, when mine were little, cookie monster was their favorite and I think he still is now that they are adults!
They still watch Sesame Street (with their children).
I called my daughter the other day and when I talked to my 4 year old grand-son I asked him what he was doing and he said, "reading a book...see?" I guess he thought I could see it too. My daughter said he held the book up to the phone and had a look on his face like..."are you blind or what"?

Anonymous said...

I think maybe it's not a math skill problem. My son got $5 for his first tooth (my daughter will get the same) with the understanding that the first lost tooth is very special and worth more. Any subsequent teeth are only worth $2. Should any need extracting, maybe $2.50 for pain and suffering.

Jan said...

My 3 year old thinks the monster in the tree outside her window shakes his booty at her every night....there is no tree outside her window.

Vivian M said...

Tell your kids that my three year old says the monsters live in our house. There are the invisible good ones, and the big, bad invisible monsters that get blamed for anything that goes wrong.
As for math, wait until they have to share a piece of gum or something else they like....they will become really good at fractions then!

Nicki said...

You gotta love the way kids reason!

Jenn Nelson said...

Lol- that is sweet! I love it!

Tiff said...

First! first! am I first?!....seriously I don't get it. I am starting the confused and thik that this is the perezhilton.com site. That's all they do on their comment sections. So silly people, c'mon who really cares!

Tina said...

Please explain something to me, because I'm new to the blog thing...why do people apologize for being "lurkers" or "stalkers" if they do not regularly leave a comment? Is it not appropriate to just read for fun?
Also, a question: Do you get into the 4 AM sales on "black Friday?" Even having to buy for my 5 and huge extended family, I can't bring myself to brave the crowds, even if it does mean a chance to shop without kids! Is it fun for you, or do you avoid it like the plague?

Kimmerie said...

Clearly he's never seen this episode!

I love the Monsterena episode. Poor Prairie Dawn, trying to find her "inner monster"...

(never posted before, though I keep meaning to, but I figure you have enough stuff to read! though I do have to go back and post on your travel one about a great alternative to travel carseats...)

VanDerHoekArt said...

Too funny!

Patty said...

DJ would agree with your little one on the monster theroy, must be soemthing about being that age. :)

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