Thursday, November 8, 2007


Because I'm too tired to write anymore tonight - here, in no particular order, are some of my favorite comments from last night's post.....

quiescentaphobia- fear of what's happening when my kids are quiet!!
Ain't that the truth!

i am 37 and starting to develop a double chin. i frighten myself.
I often frighten myself too!

Long toenails of "The Lost Boys" proportions on other people also totally skeeve me out.

commentaryclaustrophobia- the fear of what comment might come out of your child's mouth while you are trapped in a small, crowded elevator.

I am afraid of wooden spoons.
Thank goodness for harmful toxin-releasing plastic spoons! :)

My sister and I have found a way to cure this. We have a pact. If either of us does/says something like our mom, we just slap the other one. I think it's working so far. Although, come to think of it, I did go out of my way to avoid making a left turn across traffic the other day....

What is it called when you to to the Planetarium & you're afraid to get spontaneously sucked up into the dome? Or on a crystal blue cloudless day (yes it has to be crystal blue & cloudless) you're afraid you'll suddenly get sucked up into the sky?
Crazy? Just kidding - it must be really scary to be afraid of this.

Fractophobia -- Fear of Fractions. 95% of all high school students have this.
I absolutely have this one!

Lackocashaphobia...fear of not having enough money to get through the month.
Oh yeah. Who doesn't have this one?

I have a sevenpmpmphobia aka as nightlymarathonphobia - the fear that once you come home, you will have to complete the following tasks: cook dinner, feed the kids, bathe them, put pj's on two squirming toddlers, and nurse a toddler with full set of teeth to sleep - all in one hour.
I almost wrote about this one last night!

Fear of family makes fun of how I get on and off and of how I just stand there stiff the whole trip up (or down). It stems back to a childhood injury where I actually sat down and got my youknowwhat pinched....and another time as a child when I pushed a red button to see what would happen......and it stopped and the security guard yelled at me. So, with that said, I fear escalators.
I have this fear too! But I was never injured and I never had any scary incidents with the escalator. I'm just a dork. In fact, I took my daughter shopping at the mall this evening and we had to take the escalator. To this day I still stand there for a full minute while I try to time my jump onto the escalator just right so it doesn't eat me. They're scary! I mean, what's with the glowy green light that emanates from beneath those moving stairs?

Sippycupunderthecouchforaweekophobia - fear of curdled milk

Callingmybluffophobia - Fear of your children finding out that you won't really pull the car over and make them walk.

Itsfridayandsomeonesgottocleantheican'taimwithagameboyinonehandwhilebeingshotatwithanairsoftgun bathroomaphobia.
This one wins the award for the longest word ever.

And thank you to the person who wrote an entire Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia song! LOL!

And my favorite one of all....

aibohphobia: fear of palindromes


Rick said...

Good grief, I didn't realize that there were so many psychoanalyst out there. A fellow can just have one decent psychotic episode without someone putting a phobia label on him.

nutralady2001 said...


I remember a few years ago seeing a photo I was in. It was just a shot of the room and I was in the background.......and oh my golly godness.......I looked and was standing just like her !!!!!

I don't have a sister to slap me I'll just have to look in the mirror and slap myself!!!

Nancy said...

Hi Dawn, I actually looked in the dictionary for that last phobia you mentioned. I figured I must be really stupid cause I had no clue what the heck that meant.
I wanted to mention to the people that have the fear of the Pillsbury cans opening that if you just remove the outside wrapping and wack it off the edge of your counter it's a great stress reliever and it opens right up. I much prefer this method to the directions on the cans.

Nancy said...

Oh and I forgot to mention, you can't get into your old stuff. There's nothing there. Somebody mentioned that already so it must not be my computer failing me.

Lucille said...

Well don't I FEEL completely UN-creative! Wow you had some good replies! I would have to say that I fall into this group - the Sippycupunderthecouchforaweekophobia - fear of curdled milk. I've lived it and am a recovering woman in a good 12-step program!

Nice work fellow posters, nice work!

OH and as a side note - I had to share this - I clicked on the e-mail follow-up comments to my Google account address. I thought this would email ME if someone responded to my comment. Well it sorta does. It emailed me ALL of the comments Dawn posted! I clicked on "get mail" this morning and was FLOODED. I don't plan to do this again, but for a brief few minutes I felt like Dawn. Man - how you go through all of those is just beyond me!

Thanks for reading us Dawn!


Autumn said...

Ok, so as far as the escalator thing goes, I have a friend who had her skirt wripped off in the middle of Dillards! She loves telling the story because she ended up getting $200 or $300 worth of free clothes out of it...LOL

Love all the phobias!

Anonymous said...

If I may add:

Dirtballphobia: fear of your child covering themselves in food or dirt or paint. 30 minutes AFTER you gave them a bath!!!

Janet said...

I definitely have the sippy cup one. Juice can mildew in a pretty spectacular fasion as well. Usually they get left in the car but my daughter likes to stash them on bookshelves, inside cabinets, in our dresser drawers, etc.

I love aibohphobia

Dimples said...

I always read, but never comment. But since there aren't any comments, I can't resist the temptaion. Thanks for taking the time to bring a smile to my face. Keep up the good work of a mom. It does take humor doesn't it!

Meta said...

Okay, I'm single, middle-aged, and have no children. I still think this is one of the funniest things I've ever read (your whole blog, not just this article). I started with the grocery store, then backtracked through everything. I read daily now. I can hardly wait for your book! You make me laugh so much! And you make me think --- the links in your blog are wonderful. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! You make me both grateful AND regretful (is that a word?) I have no kids - I missed out on the horrors and the joys.

Jude said...

On *commentaryclaustrophobia- the fear of what comment might come out of your child's mouth while you are trapped in a small, crowded elevator*

My daughter can't seem to manage "truck". She says "cock".

Imagine the looks I get walking down the sidewalk at WalMart when my kid starts screaming out, "Big cock!" when she sees a big rig...

Valerie said...

I have to say that Arachibutyrophobia is my favorite phobia. It is the phobia related to the fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth (and yes, I'm a psychologist, so I am nerdy enough to have a favorite phobia).

And just so you know, not just mommies read your blog. I am a mid-twenties fairly newlywed who is just trying to deal with a puppy. Thanks for giving me a preview of what's to come with kids! And no, you haven't scared me're just giving me a battle plan. :)

ames said...

Could the Planetarium fear be caused by watching The Forgotten too much? That's a very interesting fear, kind of a depth-perception one.

I got my shoelace caught in an escalator once when I was little, some nice lady helped my mom wrench it out before the escalator could eat my whole leg. I was crying, a lot.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for vindicating me! I just sent my husband the paragraph about escalator fear... I always have a hard time getting on escalators, and he totally makes fun of me for it!

Melissa said...

LOL! Who knew about all of these phobias, I have to say I have a few of those you posted above!! ;)

Tiffiny said...

Those are pretty funny. I think I suffer a few of those myself.

Karlys said...

I am so glad to see there are other people out there who have issues with escalators! My friends and family give me such a hard time - now I can tell them there are at least 2 other people out there who can relate. ;-)

Kelly, Candace, Brendan & Corbin said...

wow! if i would've thought you'd do a whole blog on phobias, i would've sent you my wacky ones like... cockaroachalandinonmyfacephobia (fear of a cockroach landin' on my face--this happened WHILE I WAS SLEEPING when i was in high school--to make it worse, my mother didn't believe me!!!...and it was one of those big 'ole texas 3 inchers!) or ratindtoiletphobia (waking up on a glorious sunday morning to find a wet rat in d toilet--this really happened--we chose to flush him down!), there's a few texas-isms for yall!

Have a blessed day, Dawn!

Anonymous said...

I've seen a couple comments now that said they couldn't find your old stuff (nothing was there) I just checked it out again and this is what I found. If you are trying to look at old stuff from the comment page, there isn't anything there. You have to go to the main blog page and then there are the months. I just clicked on June, but it came up. By the way Baby looks cute in the dishwasher. I'll need to go back and read it when I have time.

Hope this helps. Thanks for making my days a little brighter!

Deb in OPKS

marie lee said...

this is possibly the longest palindrome ever. came across this while googling "palindrome" : i thought it was some sort of ailment, like warts or something. bet u get this alot but ive got to say this: i love ur blog, read it once or twice a week (i know it doesnt sound like im an avid fan, but i like to let ur blog posts stack up so i can get a few minutes of a good read on the com :P) woot woot 6 kids! i only have one...praying for just one more. but anyways, i digress. enjoy the palindrome! i only had the paitience to read the first and last sentences to see if it checked out. :)

"Star? Not I! Movie – it too has a star in or a cameo who wore mask – cast are livewires.

Soda-pop straws are sold, as part-encased a hot tin, I saw it in mad dog I met. Is dog rosy? Tie-dye booths in rocks.

All ewes lessen ill. I see sheep in Syria? He, not I, deep in Syria, has done. No one radio drew old one.

Many moths – I fondle his; no lemons are sold. Loot delis, yob, moths in a deli bundle his tin. Pins to net a ball I won – pins burst input. I loot to get a looter a spot paler. Arm a damsel – doom a dam. Not a base camera was in a frost, first on knees on top spot. Now a camera was a widened dam.

Ask: Cold, do we dye? No, hot – push tap, set on to hosepipe. Nuts in a pod liven.

A chasm regrets a motto of a fine veto of wars. Too bad – I all won. A sadist sent cadets – a war reign a hero derides. A bad loser, a seer, tossed a cradle – he begat to cosset – a minaret for Carole, Beryl, Nora. We’re not as poor to self.

I risk cold as main is tidal. As not one to delay burden, I don’t set it on “hot”. A foot made free pie race losses runnier. As draw won pull, eye won nose. Vile hero saw order it was in – even a moron saw it – no, witnessed it: Llama drops – ark riots. Evil P.M. in a sorer opus enacts all laws but worst arose. Grab a nosey llama – nil lesser good, same nicer omen.

In pins? No, it is open. If a top spins, dip in soot.

Madam, as I desire, dictates: Pull aside, damsels, I set a rag not for a state bastion. A test I won e.g. a contest I won.

Kidnap, in part, an idle hero. Megastars, red, rosy, tied no tie. Blast! A hero! We do risk a yeti’s opposition!

He too has a wee bagel still up to here held.

Demigods pack no mask, cap nor a bonnet, for at last a case is open – I left a tip – it wets. A dog wets too. Radios to help pay my tip, pull a tip.

Ale, zoo beer, frets yon animal. Can it? New sex arose but, we sots, not to panic – it’s ale – did I barrel? Did I lose diadem, rare carrot in a jar of mine? Droop as tops sag – unseen knots.

A cat ate straw as buck risk cud; evil foe, nil a red nag ate? Bah! Plan it – silage. Model foot in arboreta.

I, dark Satanist, set fire – voodoo – to slat. I design a metal as parrot, I deem it now. One vast sum is no ten in set – amen! Indeed, nine drag a yam, nine drag a tie. Dame nabs flower; can we help man? Woman is worse nob.

Mud level rose, so refill a rut. A nag of iron I made to trot I defied – I risk leg and its ulnae. Can a pen I felt to bid dollar or recite open a crate, open a cradle, his garret?

Sample hot Edam in a pan. I’m a rotten digger – often garden I plan, I agreed; All agreed? Aye, bore ensign; I’d a veto – I did lose us site. Wool to hem us? No, cotton. Site pen in acacias or petals a last angel bee frets in.

I met a gorilla (simian); a mate got top snug Noel fire-lit role. Manet, Pagnol, both girdle his reed bogs.

Flan I reviled, a vet nods to order it, Bob, and assign it. Totem users go help mates pull as eye meets eye. Son – mine – pots a free pie, yes? No. Left a tip? Order a dish to get. A ring is worn – it is gold. Log no Latin in a monsignor, wet or wise. Many a menu to note carrot.

Cat in a boot loots; As I live, do not tell! A bare pussy, as flat on fire, I know loots guns, fires a baton, nets a hero my ale drop made too lax.

If it is

to rain, a man is a sign; I wore macs, no melons rot. I use moths if rats relive, sir, or retire.

Vendor pays: I admire vendee, his pots net roe. Nine dames order an opal fan; I’ll ask cold log fire vendor to log igloo frost. Under Flat Six exist no devils.

Marxist nods to Lenin. To Lenin I say: “Mama is a deb, besides a bad dosser.”

Gen it up to get “ova” for “egg”. I recall a tarot code: yell at a dessert side-dish sale. Yes/nos a task cartel put correlate: E.S.P. rocks a man. I am a man, am no cad, I’m aware where it’s at!

Fire! Its an ogre-god to help, man, as I go. Do not swap; draw, pull a troll!

It’s not a cat I milk – calf, for a fee, sews a button - knit or tie damsel over us. Mined gold lode I fill until red nudes I met in a moor-top bar can. I sit, I fill a diary – trap nine men in ten-part net – oh, sir, I ask, cod nose? No, damp eel.

So, to get a name! I say, Al! I am Al! Last, I felt, to breed, deer begat.

To can I tie tissue – damp – or deliver Omani artist – a man of Islam.

In a den mad dogs lived on minis a signor who lived afore targets in at. As eremites pull, I, we, surf, fantasise, mend a bad eye. No hero met satyr; Tony, as I stressed, won’t, so cosset satyr.

A vet on isles made us sign it, a name. Foe man one sub.

Aside no dell I fret a wallaby; metal ferrets yodel, like so. On a wall I ate rye. Bored? No, was I rapt! One more calf? O.K., calf, one more, bossy! No! Lock cabin, rob yam, sip martini. Megastar was in a risk.

Cat? No, I’m a dog; I’m a sad loyal pet. A design I wore – kilts (a clan); if net drawn, I put it up. Royal spots snag – royal prevents rift.

Composer, good diet, are both super, God – label it a love of art, lustre. Video bored, no wise tale e.g. a mini tale – no sagas seen. Knack: cede no foes a canal.

Pay – as I sign I lie; clear sin it is; e.g. “Amadeus” sign I – lira for ecu, decimal – sin as liar.

Trad artistes pull a

doom, a drawer won’t.

Is it sold loot? No, I suffered loss. A man is god; Amen! I came nice Tahiti (sic).

It’s ale for a ban if for a fast – is role to help mash turnip? Use zoo? No - grasp order – use no zoos. Warts on time did sag.

No grade “X” “A” Level? Oh, “A”! I’d a “B” or a “C”. So – pot? No, we lop. Date? Take no date! Bah! Play L.P.

Miss (a lass, all right?) flew to space in NASA era. Rose no (zero) cadets ate raw. As a wise tart I fined rags red Lenin, we help pay bet – a risk – cash to Brian. I put a clam in a pool – a pool wets.

Mahdi puts a stop to harem – miss it in one vote, lost in one, veto of none. Post-op, no tonsil; I ate; no tastier, eh? We sleep at noon time so I dare not at one; no time stops as I time tides. A bed: under it, roll; in a mania, panic!

In a pond I did as Eros as Lee felt tenrec. “Ink” – list it under “I”. Termites put pen in a way. Democrats wonder, I too. To slay moths a dog did.

I saw elf; elf, far now, is a devilish taboo, rag-naked. I hid a bootleg disc. I, saboteur, toss it in. Oops! No legs! Laminated, a cask, conker in it, negates all if it is simple.

Hot pages are in a mag, nor will I peer, familiar tat, so lewd, native rot. Toner, ewe wore no trace; vagabond ewes do. Oh, Ada! Have pity! A pitiable eel – “Oh wet am I!” - to save, note: bite gill as I do.

Call a matador minor, eh? As I live, don’t! Is torero no rigid animal debaser if tipsy? Ale drew esteem in a matador. A bolero, monks I rate play or go dig rocks; a can I step on.

Go! Gas – it evades a bedsit – set a roost on fire. Boss sent a faded eclair to green imp or dog, I’d don a belt to boot it; if Ada hid a boot, panic.

I mock comic in a mask, comedian is a wit if for eventide. Vole no emu loved is not a ferret, so pet or witness a weasel if not. I hired less, am not so bossy, as yet amateur.

To stir evil, Edna can impugn a hotel: bad loos, hot on Elba: I may melt. Tart solicits it rawer, gets it rare. Push crate open; I ram buses, use no trams.

Did I say, not to idiot nor a bare ferret, to trap rat, strap loops rat? Stewpot was on. Hot? I was red! Lessen it! Fine man on pot? No, pen inside by a bad law. So I made rips – nine delays.

Some Roman items in a.m. ordered “Is room for a ban?” “It is,” I voted: I sat pews in aisle. Beryl, no tiro to my burden, made off for a contest, I won kiss. I may raid fine dales. I raid lochs if I to help am.

Forecast for Clare v. Essex: If no rain, a man is ref. Fusspots net foxes.

Senor is a gnome, latinos’ bad eyesore. Help misses run to border, Casanova, now, or drab hotel.

Ma has a heron; I sleep, pet’s on nose, sir! Rev. I rag loved art live – fine poser. Ultra-plan: I feign, I lie: cedar to disperse – last one? No, last six. Enamel bonnet for a dark car to toss a snail at. In it all, Eve lost; Seth’s a hero slain on a trap – Rise, Sir Ogre Tamer.

Upon Siamese box I draw design. I, knight able to help, missed an alp seen in Tangier of fine metal pots. Tin I mined rages – order nine, melt ten. Tone radios; tones are not to concur. Ten-tone radar I bomb – best fire-lit so hostel side meets eerie mini red domicile. A gulf to get is not a rare tale; no time to nod.

Row on, evil yobs, tug, pull. If dogs drowse, fill a rut. An era’s drawers draw. Put in mid-field in a band I dig a tub deep. Staff on a remit did refill a minaret.

Sam’s a name held in a flat, or, sir, bedsit. I wonder, is it illicit ore? No ties? A bit under? Retarded? Is ‘owt amiss? I’m on pot; not so Cecil, a posh guy a hero met. A red date was not to last so Cecil sat.

Tip? An iota to pay, a dot; sad, I drop item. I’d ask, call, Odin, a Norseman’s god: “Pay payee we owe radio dosh o.n.o.” I to me? No, I to media.

Peril in golf – is ball a “fore”? K.O.!

Vexed I am re my raw desires. Alto has eye on nose but tone-muser pianist is level-eyed. I lost a tie. Blast! In uni no grades are musts. Avast! Never port! Sea may be rut.

Part on rose? - It’s a petal. Define metal:

Tin is … (I gulp!) can!

I am a fine posse man, I pull a ton. Ron, a man I put on, I made suffer of evil emu’s sadism. Leo’s never a baron - a bad loss but evil – topple him, Leo’s lad. Assign a pen, can I? A pal is note decoding.

Is damp mule tail-less? No, ill; I breed for its tone. Radio speed, to grower, grew. Open a lot? No, stamp it; if for a free peso – not ecu -deign it. Times ago stone rates, e.g. at Scilly, display a wont.

No wish to get a design I, Sir Des, I’ve let? No bus sees Xmas fir. O.K. – cab – tart it up; tie lots – diamond, log or tinsel; first end errata edit. So “le vin (A.C.)”, Martini, Pils lager, one tonic.

I pegged a ball up to here when I got a top star role, Beryl. Gun is too big – won’t I menace? Yes? No?

Ill? A cold? Abet icecap’s nip. U.S.A. meets E.E.C. inside tacit sale – see! Beg a cotton tie, ma! No trial, so dodo traps exist. Arabs under-admire card label good hood stole.

In rage erupted Etna. Will a rotunda, bare villa, to tyro. Lack car? Non-U! Get a mini! My, my, Ella, more drums per gong; get a frog – nil less. Rod, never ever sneer. Got to?

I disperse last pair of devils (ah!) here today or else order cash to breed emus. Said I: “Are both superlative?” C.I.D. assign it lemon peel still. I wore halo of one bottle from a ref (football) – a tip; so hit last ego slap a mate got.

Late p.m. I saw gnu here (non-a.m.) or an idea got a dog to nod – I made felt to boot.

Fill in a lad? Nay, not all, Edna – lash to buoy. Did you biff one Venus? Not I! “Broth, girl!” ladies ordered – “No, with gin!” – a fine plate, maybe suet; no carton I made rots in it.

Med: a hill, Etna, clears in it. Ali, Emir, to slap in/slam in. All in all I made bad losers sign it – alibi. Set a lap for a level bat.

A bed, sir, eh? To put cat now? Drat! Such an idyll of a dog’s lair! That`s it, open it – a cage! Big nit sent rat! Some day (A.D.) send ewe. No, draw a pot now, do! Of wary rat in a six ton tub.

Edna, ask satyr: “Tel. a.m.?” No, tel. p.m.; Israeli tuner is damp. Use item: “Anna Regina”. No! Dye main room (“salle”) red!

Nice caps for a sea cadet in U.S.A. – Now I, space cadet, am it, sea vessel rep. Pin it on Maria, help Maria fondle her fine hotpot. No! Meet; set up to net, avoid a lesion. Set acid arena: Bruno one, Reg nil. Like it to sign in? Even I am nine-toed! I vote votes.

Oh, can a nose-rut annoy? No, best is Dorset. I know, as liar, to snoop, malign. “I’ll order it to get a bedroom door,” began a miser I fed.

Am I to peer, fan? Is a door by metal? Ere sun-up, drowse, nod, lose magnet. Food? Buns? I’ll ask. Corn? I’ll ask. Corn – I snack. Cats snack (cold rat). Sum for a bag: nil. First, is remit “traps in net”? Yes, on a par. Coots yell over a dam I made. Bared nudist went a foot, I made roots. I tip a canon: “Row, sir, at same tide; man one: row tug.”

Sewer of denim axes a wide tail – a terror recipe to hero made manic. I, to resign? I ? Never!

“OFT I FELT ITS SENSUOUSNESS” – title fit for evening is erotic; I named a more hot epic – error retaliated – I was examined for ewe’s gut, wore no named item.

A star is worn on a cap, it is too red. Am I too fat? Newts I’d under a bed. Am I mad? Are volleys too crap? A nosey tennis part-timer sits rifling a bar of mustard.

Lock cans, stack cans in rocks, all in rocks, all I snub. Do often games, old ones, word-pun use; relate, my brood, as in a free pot I made fires, I manage brood. Moor debate got tired rolling, I lampoon, so trail saw on kites.

Rod sits, ebony on nature, so Nana chose to veto video. Ten in main evening is O.T.T. i.e. killing; Ere noon, urban eradicates noise, lad, I ovate not. Put esteem on top (to hen, if reheld).

No fair ample hair – am not I nipper-less? Eva estimated ace caps I won as united. A Caesar of space, Cinderella’s moor, Niamey Don (a Niger-an name), ties up mad sire, nut! I, Lear, simpleton male, try tasks “A” and “E”

but not “XI”. Sanitary raw food won top award one Wednesday – a demo.

Start nesting, I beg a cat. I? Nepotist? Ah, trials, God! A folly, Dinah, custard won’t act up; other is debatable. Velar: of palate; sibilating is “s”.

Resold: a bed, a mill, an ill animal – snip, also trim. Eilat in Israel can tell I had ‘em. Tin I stored (am I not raconteuse?) by a metal pen. If a night, I wondered, rose, I’d all right orbit on sun, even off.

I buoy, did you? Both Sal and Ella, Tony and Alan (“Ill if too bottle-fed, am I?”) do not. God! A toga! Ed in a Roman one, rehung! Was I, M.P. et al., to get a map? Also get salt? I, hospital lab to offer, am, or felt to be, no fool – a hero.

Will it sleep? No, melting is sad ice. Vital re-push to be raid, I assume. Deer, both sacred roes, Leroy (a doter, eh?) has lived for. I, apt sales rep’s idiot to greens, revere vendors selling or fat egg-nog reps.

Murder O’Malley, my mini mate – gun on rack. Calory total: liver, a bad nut or all I wanted (“et puree garnie”): lots. “Do, oh do, ogle bald racer,” I’m dared – N.U.S. bar at six.

Esparto, dodo’s lair to name it, not to cage bees, elasticated, is nice. Esteem, as up in space, cite bad local lions, eye can emit now. G.I. boots in ugly rebel or rat’s potato gin (eh?) were hot. Pull a bad egg – epic, I note, no regal slip in it. Ram can … (I’ve lost idea!)

Tarred nets, rifles, nitro, gold – no maid stole it. Put it, rat, back or if Sam (“X”) sees sub on televised rising, I sedate Goths. I won’t – no way.

Alps, idyllic stage set, are not so gas-emitting, I educe. To nose, peer, far off, I tip mats onto lane. Power grew or got deep so I dare not stir. Of deer, billions sell. I ate lump – mad sign, I do cede – tonsil a pain, acne pang is sad also. Elm I help pot, live – tub’s sold; a ban or a bar, even so, elms, I’d assume, live for. Effused am I not, up in a manor, not all up in a mess.

Open if a main A.C. plug is in it.

Late men I fed late – pasties or not. “Rapture” by a maestro prevents a vast sum erased.

Argon in units, albeit at solid eye level, sits in a … (I presume not) … tube, son. No eyes: a hot laser – is Ed wary?

Mermaid, ex- evoker of all A.B.s, I flog. Nil I repaid. Emotion! Emotion, oh so do I dare, woe!

Wee yap-yap dog’s name’s Ron. An idol lacks a dime tip, or did, as today a potato in a pitta slice costs a lot – tons. A wet adder ate more hay. Ugh! So, pal, ice cost on top? No, miss, I’m a two-sided rat, erred nut, I base it on erotic ill; It is I, red now; it is debris, rot.

Alf, an idle he-man as “master animal lifer” did time, ran off at speed, but a G.I. did nab an idle if dim nit. Upwards rewards are natural life’s words, God. Fill up guts, boy, live now or do not emit one later. A rat on site got flu.

Gaelic, I’m odd Erin, I’m Eire, esteemed islet. So hostile rifts ebb. Mob, I.R.A., dare not net R.U.C. – no cotton. Erase not, so I dare not nettle men in red rose garden – I’m in it.

Stop late men if foreign at nine. Esplanades, simple hotel, bath, gin – king is Edward IX; obese; Ma is no pure mater. Go! Rise, sir; part anon.

I also rehash tests – ‘O’ Level Latin, Italian. S.A.S., so, to track radar. Often nobleman exists alone – not sales reps – I do. Trade ceiling, i.e. final part, lures open if evil trade.

Volga River rises on no steppe. Elsinore has a hamlet – Oh, Bard, row on Avon!

A sacred robot nurses simple hero’s eye; dabs on it a lemon. Gas, iron, Essex often stops, suffers in a mania. Ron fixes several crofts, acer of maple. Hot, I fish; cold, I arise laden; if diary amiss, I know it set no car off. Foe-damned ruby motor, it only rebels.

Ian I swept aside to visit, in a bar of moorside red, Romanis met in a more mossy ale den. Inspired am I, Oswald. A bay bed is nine p on top. No name, niftiness- elder saw it. Oh no! Saw top wet star’s pool – part star, part otter. Refer a baron to idiot, Tony, as I did.

Smart ones use submarine.

Poet, arch-super-artiste, grew artistic. I lost rattle; my amiable, not oh so old, able to hang up, mina, can deliver it, so true. “Ta, matey!” – says so Boston (Mass.) elder I hit.

On file S.A.E. was sent – I wrote poster re fat on side, volume one – loved it, never off it, I was in. Aide mocks a manic; I mock comic, I nap: too bad I had a fit, I too. Bottle ban odd, I go drop mine, ergo trial ceded a fatness, sober if not so, or a test is debased.

A vet is agog – no pet’s in a cask – corgi dog, royal pet, a risk no more.

Lob a rod at a man I meet. Sewer delays pit fires – a bedlam in a dig – iron ore rots it. No devil is a hero – Nimrod.

At a mall a cod is all I get. I bet on Eva, so Tim ate whole eel bait, I pay tip, Eva had a hood sewed. No B.A. gave car to Nero, we were not to rev it and we lost a trail; I’m a free pill, I wrong a man. I erase gap; to help miss it, I fill a set. A gent in ire knocks a cadet.

Animals’ gel on spoon – it is so true to basics – I’d gel; too bad I hide kangaroo baths – I lived as I won raffle, flew as I did go, dash, to my, also too tired now, star comedy: A wan, inept, upset I’m retired, nut; its ilk, nicer. Nettle feels a sore; sad, I did no panic in a pain, am an ill or tired, nude, based item; it is a spot.

Semitone, not a tone, radios emit; no, on tape; elsewhere it’s a tone.

Tail is not on; pots open on foot, even on it, so let oven (on, it is) simmer – a hotpot’s a stupid ham stew.

Loop a loop, animal – cat up in air.

Both sacks I rate by apple hewn in elder’s garden if it rates, I was aware – tasted a core.

Zones or areas, Annie, cap, so twelfth girl, lass, alas, simply (alpha beta) done, Kate. Tadpole won top Oscar, Obadiah, “O” Level axed.

Argon gas did emit no straw, so ozone sure drops argon, oozes up in Ruth’s ample hotel or sits afar off in a bar – of elastic, is it?

I hate cinema; cinema dogs in a mass. Older effusion to old – lost, is it now? Reward: a mood.

All upsets it.

Radar trails an Islamic educer of a riling issue, damages it in Israel. Ceiling is, I say, a plan, a case of one deck. Can knees sag as one Latin image elates, I wonder?

Oboe diverts ultra foe, volatile bald ogre – push to berate; I’d do, ogre. So, p.m., Oct. first, never play organ’s stops – lay or put it up in ward ten.

Final cast like rowing – I sedate play, old as am I, God! Am I! On tacks I ran; I saw rats. A Gemini tramp is May born.

I back colony’s sober omen of lack of lace. Rome, not Paris, a wonder.

Obey retail law – a noose killed oyster. Reflate my ball, a water-filled one. Disabuse no name of emanating issue.

Damsels, I note, vary tastes so cost now desserts. I say no! Try taste more honeyed. A bad nemesis at naff ruse will upset. I, mere Satanist, e.g. rater of a devil – (Oh wrong is a sin!) – I’m no devil’s god, damned.

Animals, if on a mat, sit. Rain, a more vile drop, made us site it in a cottage. Breed deer – bottle fits a llama.

I lay, as I emanate, go to sleep, mad ones on docks – air is hot. Entrap, net, nine men in party raid - all if it is in a crab-pot room, an itemised, under-lit, nullified old log den – I’m sure voles made it rot in knot.

Tubas we see far off lack limit. A cat on still or tall upward paws to no dog is an ample hot-dog, ergo nastier if tastier, eh? We, raw amid a conman, a mama in a mask, corpse et al., err.

Octuple tracks at a son’s eyelash side distressed a tall eye doctor, a tall ace, rigger of a vote: got put in egress; odd, abased, is ebbed, as I am, Amy, asinine lot! Nine lots! Don’t six rams live? Don’t six exist?

Alfred, nuts or fool gigolo, trod never if gold locks all in a flap on a red rose; made nine or ten stops.

I heed never, I’m Daisy, a prod never, I terrorise viler starfish. To me suitors, no lemons, came rowing. Is a sin a mania? Rot!

Sit! I fix a looted amp or delay more, hasten not. A baser if snug stool, wonkier, if not - Alf says - super, a ballet to no devil, is a stool too. Ban it, actor, race to no tune.

May names I wrote wrong (Is no man in it, a long old log?) sit in row, sign irate Goths; I dare drop it. At felon’s eye I peer, fast open – I’m nosey, esteem eyes. All upset, ample hogs resume totting. Is sad nabob tired? Roots don’t evade liver in Alf’s gob.

Deers I held right; oblong, apt enamel or tile rifle on gun spot to get a man – aim is all. I rogate, minister. Feeble gnats, alas late, prosaic, a canine pet is not to consume hot.

Loo, wet, issues old idiot; evading, I sneer, obey a deer, gall a deer, gain alpine dragnet for egg I’d net to ram in a pan I made to help master. Rags I held, arcane poet, arcane poetic error, all odd; I bottle fine panacean lust. I’d nag elks I ride if editor toted a minor. I fog a natural life.

Roses, or level dumb ones – rows in a mown, ample, hewn acre. Wolfsbane made it a garden in May, a garden indeed.

Nine mates, nine tons I must save now on time – editor raps a late man. G.I.s edit also, too. Do over if tests in a task radiate. Rob ran; I, too, fled.

“Omega” – list in alphabet.

A gander, a line of live ducks, irk cubs. A wart, set at a cast on knee, snug as spots.

A poor denim for a janitor, racer, armed aide, solid idler – rabid; I’d elastic in a pot, tons to sew.

Tubes or axes went in a clam, in an oyster. Free booze – lap it all up. Pity, my apple hot, so I’d a root stew. God, a stew! Tip it at feline! Posies, a cat’s altar often, no baron packs. A monk caps dog – I meddle here – hot? Pull its leg! A bee was a hoot, eh?

No, it is opposite. Yaks I rode wore hats, albeit on deity’s orders. Rats age more held in a trap, nip and I know it – set no cage now.

It’s eta; no, it’s a beta – Tsar of Tonga rates isles. Mad Ed is all upset at cider, is Ed? Is a madam too? Snip? I’d snip, spot a fine position, snip nine more cinemas.

Do ogres sell in a mall? Yes, on a barge so rats row tubs.

Wall last canes up or Eros, an imp, lives to irk, rasp or dam all tides sent. I won’t – I was no Roman – even I saw tired row – a sore. He lives on. “No!” we yell.

Up, now! Wards are in nurses’ sole care. I, peer, fed, am too fat? Oh, not I, test no dined ruby ale; dote not on salad it’s in – I am sad.

Locks I rifle so troops atone re war. Only rebel or a crofter animates so cottage beheld arcades, so trees are sold, abased. I redo, rehang, I err – a wasted act; nests I’d – as an owl – laid. A boot’s raw foot, even if a foot to master, germs (ah!) can evil do.

Pan is tune-pipe – so hot notes, paths up to honeydew.

Odd locks, a maddened (I was aware) macaw on top, spot no seen knots, rifts or fan, I saw. Are maces a baton, madam? Oodles, madam? Rare laptops are too late – got too lit up.

Nits rub – snip now, I’ll abate, not snip, nits I held.

Nubile Danish tomboys I led to old loser as no melons I held; no fish to my name. Nod lower, do I dare? No, one nods a hairy snipe. (Edit: one hairy snipe, eh?) See silliness, else we’ll ask cornish to obey deity’s or god’s item. I, God, damn it! I was in it! To Hades, acne trap, sad loser! As warts pop, a dosser I – we – vile rat, sack! Same row, oh woe! Macaroni, rats, as a hoot, tie. I vomit on rats."

Sarah said...

hi Dawn... it's probably a GOOD thing you're afraid of escalators, since your favorite shoes have a tendancy to melt to them because of the friction, resulting in loss of toes (yikes!) i avoid escalators just because i see so much potential for Murphy's Law in them...

keep on writing! i check your blog every day : ) i love it! :)

justmylife said...

So many smart people out there!!! I feel so uncreative it hurts!!!

The Salesman's Point of View said...

This was really funny!!!!! The esculator comment made me think of the Movie Mall Rats (Director Kevin Smith) If you have seen it you know what scene(s) I'm thinking about.

Anonymous said...

I think maybe marie lee has just a little too much time on her hands. For a minute there while I was reading that post, I thought perhaps it was a virus. What was that? Shakesphere undone or what?!

Anonymous said...

Marie Lee, just one question

What kind of drugs are you on and where can we all get some? :)

Shellie said...

OK Marie Lee, you just gave me aibohphobia!

Anonymous said...

I have been reading your blogs daily since the poke'mon post on ebay, and 1st I just want to say you are awesome and I am a huge fan of your writings being a single mother myself. Now just to add to your phobia's I found it funny because a while back I had actually been browsing and you can go to google and type in phobias and they actually have websites listed alphabetically with phobia's lol. Anyway, you keep blogging and I will keep reading :) Thanks for being a highlight of my day both home and work.

Theresa said...

I am afraid of escalators too! I used to work in a store and our counter was at the foot of the escalater. I can tell you some horror stories! But I won't, though I really wanted to say something to the parents who would take their kids while they were still in their strollers on the escalators! All they needed to do was walk a few feet to the elevators. Just accidents waiting to happen!
I have been thinking about starting a blog and I did it! There is life after children! I had seerious empty nest syndrome when my youngest moved out this year.
So if you get a chance to surf, please stop by! Leave a comment!



Anonymous said...

Thanks for another great blog, Dawn!

Okay. I didn't have a fear of palindromes until I tried to read that gargantuan posted by marie lee at 10:49 am! Ack!

The escalator thing is so true! It is perfectly reasonable to have a fear of those things. They are not natural...

One of my phobias is messyfoodsplotchingmyoutfitphobia. I won't touch a meatball sub, and I eat ribs with a knife and fork.

I also have equinophobia. Yes, I am actually afraid of horses. Pictures of them are fine, but real ones send me into a panic attack. Another name for this is knockmedownbitemesteponmephobia.

Say, how about a blog on philias? You know, the opposite of phobias. For instance, I have ailurophilia - a love of cats - and bibliophilia - a love of books. A cat in a library is heaven for me!

Another seriously unnatural love I have is for office supplies - stufffororganizingmycrapophilia? I just go to Office Max and Staples and wander up and down the aisles. The office supply aisle of grocery stores and Target will even do in a pinch.

Sandy in Tucson, AZ

gggarden said...

I agree that marie lee has just a little too much time...a link would have saved me a good ten minutes! I'm still laughing at myself for reading it! Dawn you're part of my daily routine...I've been following since ebay. I wish you much success! Thanks for bringing a smile to my face and the many laughs!

Patty said...

My favorite is still the fear of teenagers. ;) But the fear of clear blue skies would suck if you lived where I live...

Hands-Free Heart said...

Dawn... first of all, I'm a lurker coming out on a night when comments are low. I just love to read your blog!

My best friend has 6 kids. I lived in her shoes for 2 weeks while she was in the hospital... I was nearing nervous breakdown by the end! My firstborn was 20 months old then, and I had her 2 mo, 14 mo, 3 1/2, 1st grader, 2nd grader and 4th grader. The oldest four are all boys. The first week of the two was on Christmas vacation so they didn't even go to school that week!

Now my comments on the phobias...

Fear of Escalators.... you might want to have this if you wear your Crocs out of the house... Check out this article on toe-severing incidents: It especially happens with children.

Sippycupunderthecouchforaweekophobia - Yikes... I faced this fear this week... We lost the cup 2 weeks ago. I searched and searched but could not find it. My 4yo found it under my bed yesterday morning while I was still sleeping. He knew the milk was nasty, but although he can snatch a toy out of his 1 1/2 yo brother's hands quicker than you can say Yuck! he didn't think to take the nasty milk away him before he drank some of it!!! Yuck!

Well, it can't hurt any more than the cat puke he ate 2 months ago!

Amanda said...

thanks for the laugh

Fizgig said...

How about breakaboneinkidsroomaphobia? This is the fear that you'll trip and break a bone trying to navigate the mess in your kid's room.

Brooke said...

Ok. If that's what a palindrome is I can now add that to my phobias along with my slimy rag in the sink phobia.

It's kinda like fractions. I don't get it.

Saphrym said...

whyphobia - this one should speak for itself. "Why?" "Why?" "Why?"

Love the blog. Read it every day.

onthegomom said...

I was going to say that I have a fear of dirty dishes left in the sink... it makes my stomach knot up and I get all dizzy.

However... I now have a fear of the worlds longest comment and not understanding a darn thing that was said in it.

Mishel said...

I don't know if anyone else commented on this:Callingmybluffophobia, but my mom didn't have this! She had my dad pull the car over, when we lived in Germany, and we had to walk home! It was only a few blocks but she did it! I didn't think it was funny then BUT I do now:)

Laura said...

I have a fear of balls. Yes, balls. The kind you play with. O.k., you know what I mean! LOL! I don't know where the fear came from, but you can just imagine the terror I had whenever we would play dodge ball at school. German dodge ball was the worst! When I taught 3rd grade and had yard duty, I would try to be cool and not let the kids know about my fear. It was very difficult, since balls were flying all over the place. I'm also afraid of cockroaches (I just saw a science picture of a huge one as a kid and started fearing them). I didn't go to Hawaii with my 8th grade class because of the fear. I have nightmares about them. Oh, and I have fears of balloons and the pillsbury cans popping. I could go on with the fears. The funny thing is I have a Master's Degree in Counseling Psychology. I can honestly say that people in the psych. field are the worst!


Anonymous said...

Escalators - definitely a fear for my mom. I remember I was already at the top of one, turned around and there she was at the bottom trying to get on. Other phobias: bridges (makes sense now), car washes and car ramps. I have inherited the car ramp phobia - I can not drive into underground ones with low ceilings and pillars without getting seriously anxious. Love your blog!

Anonymous said...

I also, like quite a few other people, am very nervous around escalators. I wouldn't call it a phobia--it's just a healthy respect for something that has the potential to eat my shoelaces, drag me down, and tear up my face. Totally reasonable fear.

Susan said...

I am a little slow this morning. Even though I know what a palindrome is, it still took me a minute or two to get aibohphobia. Love it!

Kristin said...

Okay, I don't have any creative phobias, but here are a couple of words I've come up with over the years:

Nepotite: A beneficiary of nepotism

Pantstootitis: An affliction my husband is particularly prone to after eating a large meal, though I'm guessing we've all had it at some point in our lives.

Kathy said...


--I certainly have this one, even though my children are long off of sippy cups. When my daughter was little, she had a toy kitchen. I looked and looked forever for the lost sippy (like a month) until at long last, I found it in the toy refrigerator curdled and nasty (but it was once chocolate milk!). I couldn't make her understand putting it in the toy refrigerator was not the same as putting it in the refrigerator in the kitchen! That sippy got tossed out, it was bad. I still have this phobia after experiencing that.

Jess said...

This post is so funny!

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