Friday, April 3, 2009

My Interview

I did an interview with Lisa Belkin from The Motherlode Blog, NYTimes.com this morning. Whenever I do an interview via phone, I set the kids up with a movie and snacks and beg them to please, please, please be good and quiet for the next 20 minutes. If that doesn't work, I bribe them with marshmallows, or large amounts of cash.

Well, 5 minutes into my interview today, Lisa asked me, "Do you exaggerate on your blog or do your kids really get into so much stuff every day?" I thought to myself - if I say I exaggerate, there goes my credibility. If I say that they do indeed get into tons of stuff, that makes me a bad mom. As I pondered this, I heard a thud and crying, followed by Brooklyn yelling, "Clayton fell off the refrigerator and hurt himself!" Well, I guess that answers that question. Yeah, they get into insane amounts of stuff.

After I hung up with Lisa, about 15 minutes later, I discovered that Brooklyn had painted her nails. Despite the fact I had JUST painted them before taking the phone call, she decided she needed another coat just for good measure. And while she was at it, she applied a lovely coat of red to my couch as well.









The best part is - I have 18 more interviews scheduled for this coming week. I'd better stock up on marshmallows.

36 comments:

Tammy said...

Yikes.

Mary@Holy Mackerel said...

You'd better stock up on some Benadryl. Just sayin'.

Shelli (wishes she was) Mrs. Burchett;) said...

Oh my gosh! Her toes are ADORABLE!!!

Wendy, Totally Desperate Mom said...

My 2 1/2 year old daughter (who is sick with a fever and whiney and needy and lethargic all day) just walked into the office. She saw this post and immediately perked up, "I saw the blood."
Tell Brooklyn thanking you for perking up a sick kid and encourage her in her future red nail polish endeavors.

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

No! Not the Ektorp!

Beth said...

can you get like an extra large play pen with a top to it? like a padded room with pretty pictures on the wall where they can't hurt themselves......=)

Anonymous said...

Lordie!!! Have you ever heard of hiding stuff? LOL!

beloved30 said...

I think I would stuff tranquilizers into those marshmallows. Is that bad? I don't know how you do it but I think I'm about to learn the hard way!

Anonymous said...

Aww she reminds me of my daughter whow is now 21. We used to wake up in the middle of the night & find her munching on cotton candy or anything else sweet she could find. She also took shampoo and smeared it into her mattress. Let's see I have a vague memory of toilet paper through out the whole house! LOL don't worry too much, mine turned out great and has a great outlook on life.

FYI at the nursing home where she works, she gets the Alzheimer patients to cooperate by bribing them with cookies (or a cup of coffee). They just love her!

Give your little pumkin a kiss from me -

a mom missing those days...

Lori H

Christine in NJ said...

okay Dawn - I too just got nail polish on my couch this week!... My "art" is a bit smaller and slightly more PINK then yours... but my little girl is 7 so she is a bit "neater" then Brooklyn. LOL! So what is the trick to get the nailpolish OFF the couch???... or do I have one more excuse to keep looking at couch sales!!!
Christine

Magda said...

OMG, at first I thought that was BLOOD, hahaha!!
18 interivews!!?? WOW, that's awesome!!! Any chance you could schedule several of them together and have somebody come babysit for you?

Shannon said...

Thank you for your way of handling things...if my daughter had smudged red nail polish all over my couch, I would have had a meltdown!!! Sometimes I need to take a step back and say "it's just stuff--deal with it"...but I agree with stocking up on the marshmallows for next time :)

Tiffany said...

I feel your pain - my son has forever ruined all my sheets. He's used: red lipstick (i didn't know I had red lipstick not sure where this came from), bag balm, foundation, eye liner and A LOT of dirt to do his damage. I'm not sure what my bed ever did to him but he's getting his revenge!

Gotta love toddlers. Right? Right? We do HAVE to love them don't we?

Candi said...

Did I read something about dyeing your sofa a deep burgandy red?! I'm sure I read it somewhere. No? Just wishful thinking, I guess. Otherwise, I'm speechless. No, don't ask for suggestions, I'm all out! %]
PS - I do kind of like the padded room idea, but you'd have to make padded, hooded suits for the occupents. And no liquids or anything not made of foam allowed. :)
PPS - Is Clay part monkey? (Honestly, he reminds me of my youngest - now 32, but still caught in the wierdest situations at times) Sorry, I wish I could tell you it gets easier... &}

Veggiemomof2 said...

Thank you so much for this post! I just linked my cousin to it because she sent me pictures of her 3 yr old who "painted" her whole body a pretty pink! I told her it was normal.

Anonymous said...

Oh my gosh! How are you supposed to get red nail polish out of your couch???

Sunnyworld said...

I don't know how you stand it. I would lose my temper on a regular basis!

Jennifer @ Conversion Diary said...

Ooooh, man. That sounds like something that would happen around here.

It seems like kids have an internal detector that allows them to distinguish interview phone calls from regular phone calls. A few weeks ago I was being interviewed on a live radio show and went out into the garage (my mom watching the kids inside) to ensure that there would be complete silence in the background. Hah. My kids were being so crazy that I could hear their screams and howls (and a few other bizarre noises that they seem to have invented just for the occasion) even though I was standing on the other side of the garage.

I'm sure people listening to my interview thought I was calling from prison, or perhaps an insane asylum. (Actually, they wouldn't be too far off if they guessed the latter.)

Nail polish remover mixed with alcohol works for getting nail polish off the couch, BTW. (We have a white couch too.) :)

Best of luck with the rest of your interviews!

Megan said...

Just think how much worse the damage would be if you had gone on that book tour!

Anonymous said...

OMG, Dawn, you are the BESTEST!!! Thank you so much for your candidly honest look at life and motherhood! I SO wished I could have been at your first official book signing@ Ah, well, my youngest finished up a sleepover/birthday party (ok the other way around!) with yet YES, I can't believe I'm letting him do it again with yet ANOTHER sleepover. Well, tomorrow will be interesting! Thanks, HUGE HUGS!!!!!!!!
Cheryl from Alexandria, MN

Amy @ Finer Things said...

Just had to stop by. Found you in my Guideposts magazine tonight while reading (hiding) in the bathtub. Your book sounds fantastic! Can't wait to hear more stories.

Dayna said...

I just today had to threaten my 3 yr old with not painting her nails herself...again. Luckily she's only so far painted them on the bathroom counter...my counter has a lovely collection of colorful 'dots'.

Michelle said...

Funny, I totally missed the nail polish today. Oops :)

And ummm what's the likelihood that you can send them on a playdate? Talk your parents into hanging out with them? Handcuff them to their beds without having DCFS called?

Anonymous said...

Oh, no! Your poor couch. Yeah, I think you can honestly say that you're not exaggerating much!

Lynn said...

Looks like how I paint my nails. ;-)

Goldibug said...

Lots and lots of marshmellows! Maybe piles of cereal too? You can always vaccum that up later. Bread sometimes works...

So...how calm were you once you saw that lovely addition to your sofa? Curious because I know I'd probably have flipped out ;o)

Jkhb said...

I have always thought a suit of super strengh velco was a good idea for toddlers or pre-schoolers, with a wall or chair of the oppisite side so you could just stick them on and they would stay! Of course you would give them some T.V. to watch and only do it so you could get something done!!!

Belinda in Brisbane Australia said...

Two words for you. Shannon Lush.
http://www.shannonlush.com/
She is the yoda of the cleaning world. Her site is under construction, but I can almost promise you there will be something in her books about getting nail polish off of lounge chairs.

Jack O'Sullivan said...

My two year old is a princess, and has ruined carpet in my master bedroom and in her room with pink and red nail polish. I feel your pain, but i am so glad that she is a girly girl. That is what most tough guy dads want. HA, like I am a tough guy.

Jack O'Sullivan
Bedroom Sets

Jessica said...

Can you set up conference calls and combine some of your interviews? That would give them fewer chances to destroy your house.

So glad to hear things are going well with the book! Can you believe how much your life has changed since that little eBay posting? How exciting!

Anonymous said...

I have to say that I have always totally believed EVERYTHING you write because my kids were as crazy/wild/insane/inquisitive/adventurous as yours and almost everything your kids have done - mine did before them.

At one point we were living in Tucson, AZ and my family is in Rockford, IL which meant we drove back and forth about twice a year. The first day out everything was fine but the 2nd and 3rd days the youngest (age 3-5 then) got Benedryl. It was the only way we both could survive.

When she was 3 I turned the door knob around on her bedroom door to lock her in her room so I could sleep at night. There's something very unnerving about waking up at 2AM to find your 3yo playing in the pool by herself.

One summer I went thru *5* babysitters, the last one - a 19yo college student - left in tears after the 3rd day. I was a single mom - I HAD to work.

Well I can't say anything got any easier as they grew up BUT - they did all grow up and graduate from college, some with advanced degrees, they are all working and self-sufficient, contributing members of society which IS our ultimate goal, right?
from Sparkle

Anthrax said...

Is that an Ektorp?

If so, Ikea has an AWESOME semi-annual sale that I discovered in January. I stocked up on Ektorp slipcovers - some of the colors were full-price, but I got one for $9 and one for $11. I figure I will stockpile them for things like ... this.

Funnyrunner said...

hee hee. I do think they look better than my nails do right now though...

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

OMG!!!! And is Clayton OK from falling off the Fridge!?!?!

Chasity said...

Wow this reminds me of what my 2 year old did with a blue crayon to all 3 cushions of my tan couch... and two windows... and the front door. lol

mommy2one said...

I think I just had one of your days!! I just posted a blog about some of tonights happenings and it reminded me of this post of yours. Check it out if you want to.

http://sippycupsandcheerios.blogspot.com/2009/04/my-crazy-funny-so-this-is-what-my-life.html#links

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