Tuesday, February 19, 2008

How Did You Get Here???

I like to check my stat counter now and then. It's fun to see what keywords people use in their Google searches that bring them to my blog. Here are a few from this week...

playland pee pants
It's the new Chuck E. Cheese.

my kids are so bad
Join the club.

Upon waking and seeing his reflection in the mirror,

Mark googled this.

dime a dozen for big butt
Twelve big butts for 10 cents! Get 'em while they're fresh!

if you never wanted to talk you should have said so
Wouldn't you have to talk to do that?

hamper wet clothes odor urine
the answer is - your kid peed in his pants and threw them in the hamper.

do you work at a grocery store? no. then why are you checking me out?
Lame pick-up lines for $400, Alex.

my son had a diaper full of clear gel like pellets
You might want to stop feeding him clear gel like pellets.

best way to clean in butt
For real? Someone had to google this?

ok so who has the best mom site
I do, of course. ;)

(The next three must have been done by the same person!)
if i touch the plastic covering right above the styrofoam piece, the styrofoam piece falls and may dance some more

why did you go you could have let me no so now im all along what will it take to make you come back home

you know who i said i do she said you do i said do but i really don't because it's you that i really want.
Friends don't let friends google drunk.

how to cram feet into shoes
Are there really websites out there devoted to this?

popsicle stick hamster coffin
Yes, I think Martha Stewart had a special on popsicle stick furniture recently.

the song that gets on your nerves
I bet this is what came up...http://mom2my6pack.blogspot.com/2007/11/ultimate-diet.html

spaz purse
Forget Coach, Fendi, Vuitton, and Prada. The Spaz purse is all the rage this season.

hair in your butt crack
Naturally my blog came up on this search - probably because of all the time I devote to talking about the topic of hair in your butt crack.

eat butt paste
I frequently post recipes for this ingredient.

photos of horses butt hole
I don't know why, but I feel a little sorry for the person who googled this.

my mom said to pick the very best one and this is it
Interesting way to pick a website. I wonder if she "eeny meeny miny mo"ed her husband.

can blogger see who has looked at blog
Yes. We can see who typed in stupid search phrases on Google too.

i wish there a way to go into the world of pokemon
You know, he needs something to do now that he's reached the highest level in Dungeons and Dragons.

stomach srapels
I've heard that these are even safer than staples.

my cat is dragging his butt hold across the carpet
Is anyone else noticing a disturbing amount of butt references?

i put honey on my infants pacifier continuously 10 days, and just read that honey is not good for them, what can I do?
First off, you can type 90% less words in your search.

My blog came up in this search??? What the crap is an inconce???

look what i can do blogspot

how do you decide to have 6 kids
Not by reading my blog, that's for sure!

why does cheese ruin your voice
If the person who googled this saw my pictures from last night and thought they were of cheese, I can understand their belief that cheese could indeed ruin one's voice.

lightbulb shaped bottles
Now there's a bright idea.

i resign
Me too!


Emily said...

Hahaha Dawn, I'm cracking up over here! I actually don't know whether to be more worried that people are searching for these things, or that your blog shows up in the results...

Lara said...

I too have 6 kids and a blog. I read the stats too. My favorite search was weedings ( came to a post I did about gardening and weddings...) go figure.

Unknown said...

Ahhh, that was SOO funny! Thanks for that. Did you make any of those up? Brilliant!

Kalynne Pudner said...

One might suspect you of having a butt fetish, Dawn. Seems to be the common thread in those searches. (That's thread, not hair. Just to be clear.)

Checking out the google prompts is my favorite thing to do with Sitemeter, too. Most of mine seem to be students looking for ways to cheat on their term papers. But last week there was a serious rush on the picture of Princess Jasmine I'd linked to in the Disney soccer tournament post.

Maybe it was your people, hoping for a glimpse of her butt.

Anonymous said...

Hi, Dawn. I'm fairly new to your blog. Promise I didn't google it. Got it from a perfectly respectable source! Glad I did. Great stuff!

Anonymous said...


k. maybe a little excessive but i laughed pretty hard when read all of those

Unknown said...

Here's a question for you Dawn, how do you check and see what people are using to find your site?

Cheryl said...

I have a blogspot blog, why can't I check a counter or see what people googled? What do you do, where do you go?

Anonymous said...

all too funny...now I am wondering what I've typed into google recently...

strikkegal said...

*giggle* I also have a lot of but and BIKINI references to my blog, weird! Love your blog!

Anonymous said...

Oh thank you so much for starting my dau off with a GREAT laugh! I'm still wiping away tears so I can see to type! MY son (age 6) thinks I am crazy!

The search words were great but your commetns were fantastic!!!

Thanks so much!
Jennifer (who got here because my google reader told me you had a new post!)

morninglight mama said...

That is hysterical. Oh, if Google could talk... (oh wait, it kind of just did...)

What program do you use to track that?

Debbie @ Three Weddings said...

My sister had a cat that did that everytime it when to the bathroom. She had skidmarkds all over her carpet. (She did clean them up but still, yuck!)

Jennifer said...

Dear Dawn,
Thank you thank you thank you for that post. I laughed so hard that I cried. I really needed it too. I am prego with baby #6 and feeling sick and tired and haven't had a good laugh in forever. Thank alot! You're the best.

MaBunny said...

Morning Dawn! Hehe those were some funny searches. I actually checked out that ultimate diet video, and OMG, I've heard of Yo Gabba Gabba, but yikes,never actually saw it, glad Nicole is out of that stage, I wouldn't watch it. I could actually feel my brain start to ooze out of my ears during the song.. Kind of mind numbing...
Have a great day!


Brenda said...

First of all, I don't google blogs. Second, if I did, mine would be really lame like : recipes, discipline. I need to be more creative!

Michelle said...

I don't remember how I got here, but I am soooooo glad I did. Your blog is hilarious. We live in San Antonio and I feel your pain with the hair thing. Everytime I step outside my hair swells. My best advice clip it up and forget it....

Kathi Roach said...

All right...that is too cool! How do you see what people have typed in? You have to let us know. You're the best...love reading your adventures.


Anonymous said...

Those were great! What a funny idea for a post. :)

Lisa said...

I read these to my husband this morning and he nearly spit his coffee across the computer. Of course I think it is becasue he found out there are people out there as obsessed with butts as he is.

Rayven said...

Thanks hysterical! I love looking at the ones that come into my stay home mom website. My favorite: phentermine. I actually had to look up what that was, some sort of weight loss pill or something. Now, I go over a lot of info on my site, but weight loss is not part of it!

P.S. Have you ever thought of becoming a surrogate mother? 2/19 is the 1 yr birthday of the twins I delivered last year via surrogacy.

Nicole Wilson Conley said...

its super often that i laugh out loud when i read your blog. i'm sure you hear that all the time and i'm sure i've told you that before... :)

anyway - what kind of counter do you have that shows you google searches? that sounds like a fun one to add to mine!

Anonymous said...

Hi Dawn,
Having a tough time waiting until Friday - PLEASE tell us the answer??

Has anyone gotten it right yet????

Pam (Seattle)

Don Mills Diva said...

Those are hilarious! I get some pretty crazy ones too - there are some strange people out there!

Kyddryn said...

Good grief, the things that people search for!

How do you do that - look up how folks find you? I've seen it other places, and am curious.

I found you through another friend who forwarded the Poke Mon auction.

Shade and Sweetwater,
K, who has never googled anything with the word "butt" in it, and hopes never to have the need.

Tonya Staab said...

Okay now that is just hilarious. I'm now making it my mission today to figure out how to do this. I've always wondered from all the little red dots on the map on my blog how people came to find me. Thanks for my morning giggle.

Anonymous said...

Almost wet my pants! I guess I'll be going to playland pee pants for lunch with my kids!
For the record - I too got here because my google reader let me know you wrote another great post.

Rick said...

One does indeed wonder why there are so many "butt" searches going on out there - and why those searches would lead them to this blog? I must be missing some of your post.


Leah said...

Some of those were hysterical! And you are just hilarious in your comments to them. I almost choked on my cheerios at one point! LOL Those were great!

If it makes you feel any better, someone got to my site by googling "Leah's cock" one time. I'm 8000% positive I never typed the word cock on my blog. I don't want to know.... LOL!!

SuddenlySouthernCyndi said...

Well Dawn, there are some "SSO" options in this list o' comments: between Google/Blogger searching/stats & being a surrogate [umm yeah, can't wait to hear ya answer that one!]

Cheeziemommie said...

That's some pretty funny stuff! How do you check for that? I'd love to see what mine brings in!

Jenny said...

Those are great! Reading the search results is my favorite part of my stat counter!

Joanie said...

Hmmmmm..."inconce". My guess is the person was going for "incontinence". Along with urine odor and butt hairs, it seems Google thinks you have a blog on body basics. I too was ROFL!

Lynne's Somewhat Invented Life said...

This worries me. People really type this kind of stuff. In America? I am very afraid. Very, very afraid.

Not as afraid as your mystery food contest though. Oh my.

AlaneM said...

Those are too funny! Just makes you wonder what is going through their minds. But then that might just scare me!

Mandy said...

oh wow! so hilarious! i just found your site. it is too awesome=)

Jenene said...

These are so hilarious! And slightly creepy. Why are people so fascinated with everything "butt", and why does your blog come up?! I think the worst one was the horse butt one. Whoever typed that in needs serious help. And I'm with everyone else: how can I get my blog to do that?

Heather said...

Dawn- that is hilarious!!! My hubby thinks I'm crazy for laughing at the computer. Anyway, gotta love google- I got some interesting results looking for help in my early breastfeeding days...

Shelley said...

I have a hit counter on my blog, but I have no idea how you guys find the google searches that lead to your page.

Just for the record, not that anyone cares, my dog drags his butt across the carpet too. It's kind of gross, but I've never Googled it. I think he has hemrhoids. Just saying.

Occidental Girl said...

The question is, what did people do for butt-cleaning, gel-like substance, pee-smelling hamper related questions before Google???

Thank god for the internet, which means no longer waiting for the answers.

debi9kids said...

LOL! This is great! I had no idea you could even check to see how people find you! Too funny!
Well, I for one found you through eBay... no butt searches here. LOL

cakeburnette said...

I had a really crappy day today, and this post was just what I needed. I actually just sat here at my desk and giggled and giggled...

Valarie said...

There does seem to be a disturbing number of butt references and apparently they are all being led straight to YOUR blog...imagine that!

Heather Everingham said...

Thank you, thank you, and thank you! I've had a horrible Mommy day today and I really needed that laugh!

TheHMC said...

Oh you must share your secret on looking up the search-type stuff that you speak of.

Those are toooo funny! I've done some off the wall searches in my time, but nothing compared to some of those.

Oh wait.. there was that time I was looking for "animal boobs" for my best friends husband.

Long story. Some day I just might share :D.

Mama Duck said...

ROTFL!! I love ours too, it's always amusing - that alligator photo is the best though!

Jena Webber said...

Really, all I googled to get here was, "make me laugh now" and it worked! Just kidding. Hilarious. A friend gave me your site. Usually the food I find is identifiable, but not always.
Still wiping my tears and hoping not to wake up the family with all of this giggling,

Irishmama said...

Did someone actually ask you to become a surrogate mom??? After delivering 6 of your own? I have no words.

Have a good day!

Kari said...

I check my feed daily and too am surprised at the things ppl google. Your hilarious you had me LMBO

HeathSaw said...

I have googled about the hard gel pebbles too. I was worried my daughter had some kind of urinary tract infection. It's just the crystals from the diapers. Anyways- I didn't end up at your site for another year. :(

Anonymous said...

It's WORMS, people! Don't you ever take your pets to the vet?!

Wow, that post was a hoot! You're the new Erma Bombeck!

nutralady2001 said...

Now I'm worried. Did you know I had to read that a couple of times ( or 3) before I understood what you were saying? I need another coffee. On the other hand I'm so glad I wasn't drinking one when it finally dawned (haha) on me . Aren't I glad I found you via the Pokemon auction link (and I can't even remember how I found the link in the first place !

Ruth said...

I just discovered your blog, very funny! Just wanted to say thanks for posting about this!
I am T.D. (Technologically Deficient) and never realized you could look up the search words people used. I checked my google analytics and it was good for a laugh. My favorite: "side effects eating too many twizzlers"

Anonymous said...

What a hoot! And disturbing.

Rosie : ) said...

ROTFL. Those were great! It's amazing what some people type in Google.

I got your site from a friend who said :"Hey, look, another Mom who has alot of kids, almost as many as you!" It made me feel warm and fuzzy inside to think I wasn't the only silly Mom who had many (7) kids.

Anonymous said...

omg Im dying here.. I cant believe some actually googled about horse butts.. Oh geez..

Anonymous said...

OMG I am just dying laughing here! How did I miss this the first time around? This is hilarious!!!

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