Fast forward through 24 holiday concerts.
"Clayton! Stop running around and put your shoes on! C'mon, we have to leave or we're gonna be late! Oh crap, that's right, you're supposed to wear red or green. Jackson, look in his closet and see if there's anything holidayish. I don't know where the hairbrush is. Who moved it? Ugh, just put a hat on. You're fine! Let's go!"
We got to the school and told Clay to run to his classroom while we got seats. Of course, by the time we got to the lunchroom, nearly every chair was taken. We were in the back, behind a thousand parents and could hardly see the stage. But considering this was Clay's concert and Clay was likely to be goofing off and hitting the kids next to him, I figured that was a good thing.
"I know we can't see anything from here, guys, but on the bright side, we're closer to the exit if we have to make a hasty getaway because Clay has pushed a poor kid off the stage."
I glanced around at the other parents with their full arsenal of video equipment. They looked like they were getting ready to tape a breaking story for the local news. Seriously, one guy had a camera the size of a microwave oven on a tripod with a boom mic. I kid you not. I wasn't sure whether to laugh at him or feel guilty that I'd hastily thrown a camera in my purse even though I knew I wouldn't be able to get close enough to get any pictures of my son.
During the concert, I caught quick glimpses of Clay when the planets aligned and the parents in front of me all moved their heads just so at the same time. I was also able to pick out "the shouter". You know what I'm talking about? There's always that one kid at the concert who's just a little too enthusiastic about the songs. You can clearly hear their voice ringing out over all the others as they shout, "SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN!" This year it was a little girl in a red dress. At one point, she started jogging in place and hopping up and down while
I was also able to find the nose picker, the I-don't-want-to-be-here pouter, the contender for America's Funniest Home Videos, and the I-have-to-go-now pee pee dancer.
This was the
I probably shouldn't admit this. I'm sure I'm violating the Mom Code, but...well, is it wrong that I'm counting down? Only 12 more gradeschool concerts to sit through!
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