My 4 youngest kids asked if they could have bowls of ice cream before going to bed tonight.
I told them, "Yes, but just a little bit and SIT AT THE TABLE TO EAT IT!"
Clearly, I made the mistake of omitting the following stipulations.
1. Don't squirt chocolate syrup on the floor.
2. Don't squirt chocolate syrup on the counter.
3. Don't squirt chocolate syrup on the table.
4. Don't squirt chocolate syrup on each other.
5. You know what? Just leave the chocolate syrup in the fridge!
6. Don't lay the lid from the empty ice cream container upside down on top of my books to be mailed out.
7. Don't leave the ice cream scooper on the floor where it fell.
8. Don't put ice cream in your hair.
9. Don't drop a huge spoonful of ice cream on your pajama pants and then smear it around.
10. Don't lick the spilled ice cream off the table; use a dish cloth!
11. Don't leave your bowls glued to the kitchen table with ice cream!
12. Don't leave your spoon, covered in ice cream, sitting on your chair.
13. Don't stir your ice cream until it turns into soup and then slurp it up from your bowl like a cat.
You may not realize you need to specify all these rules, but I'm telling you, if you don't, you'll be sorry. Feel free to add any others you think your children may need such as, don't finger paint with the ice cream on the wall or don't have a contest with your brother on how far you can fling ice cream off your spoon.
Forget the ice cream. Forget all meals. I think I'm just going to buy a trough, set it outside and fill it with kibble every day. No fuss, no muss!