Thursday, June 25, 2009

How to Eat Ice Cream

My 4 youngest kids asked if they could have bowls of ice cream before going to bed tonight.

I told them, "Yes, but just a little bit and SIT AT THE TABLE TO EAT IT!"

Clearly, I made the mistake of omitting the following stipulations.

1. Don't squirt chocolate syrup on the floor.
2. Don't squirt chocolate syrup on the counter.
3. Don't squirt chocolate syrup on the table.
4. Don't squirt chocolate syrup on each other.
5. You know what? Just leave the chocolate syrup in the fridge!
6. Don't lay the lid from the empty ice cream container upside down on top of my books to be mailed out.
7. Don't leave the ice cream scooper on the floor where it fell.
8. Don't put ice cream in your hair.
9. Don't drop a huge spoonful of ice cream on your pajama pants and then smear it around.
10. Don't lick the spilled ice cream off the table; use a dish cloth!
11. Don't leave your bowls glued to the kitchen table with ice cream!
12. Don't leave your spoon, covered in ice cream, sitting on your chair.
13. Don't stir your ice cream until it turns into soup and then slurp it up from your bowl like a cat.

You may not realize you need to specify all these rules, but I'm telling you, if you don't, you'll be sorry. Feel free to add any others you think your children may need such as, don't finger paint with the ice cream on the wall or don't have a contest with your brother on how far you can fling ice cream off your spoon.
Forget the ice cream. Forget all meals. I think I'm just going to buy a trough, set it outside and fill it with kibble every day. No fuss, no muss!

32 comments:

Ryan said...

#13... That is an acceptable way to eat ice cream, DQ et.al. charges extra to give it to you that way.

Tam King said...

*ahem* Dont spit in your fathers icecream..... The 2 year old will learn yet...

Jacki said...

I feel your pain, and in my sons case you nanother point
Do not microwave your icecream until it explodes!

Robin said...

AMEN!! Sometimes it's the most OBVIOUS of things that you have to point out to kids...okay, let's be honest...to some adults too!

I hope you're having a great summer with the kids. Stay cool.

Anonymous said...

I can't tell you how many times I've decided to just stop feeding my children after cleaning up a particularly messy meal. Think how much free time you would have if you didn't have to shop, cook and clean up their food. I think it would add like 5 hours to my day. Maybe they could be fed with an IV as they slept or something. I'll have to talk to their pediatrician.

MaBunny said...

Oh that sounds like a mess! Did you get pictures of the flying ice cream though? Sounds like they had fun but at your clean kitchen expense, lol.

Veggiemomof2 said...

This is the kind of rule set up I need for my Asperger son. If I don't list everything possible, he will find a loophole!

fawndear said...

You forgot to mention the, 'Don't stay up all night with your sugar rush that you got from eating ice cream before bed.'

Sheryl said...

Oh, if only the kibble trough would work ... but if my kids are like my cat (and I'd venture they are worse), then the kibble would be everywhere. My cat likes to grab a mouth of kibble, walk away from the dish, drop it on the floor, and then eat part of it. Between the kids and the cats, my kitchen floor is in a constant state of filth. I don't get it! You could (and still can) eat off my mother's floor, but I'm not sure my floor is fit for even a mouse!

Anonymous said...

So true! I cringe everytime my kids ask for a popsicle. They have to eat them outside and they still make a huge mess :)

marybee said...

don't forget the big rule around our house: don't empty the entire bottle of sprinkles in your bowl of ice cream.

Jessica Sandoval said...

I'm so sorry. If that would have happened to me, I would really be yelling. I lose my patience really quickly. Did it take a long time to clean everything?

Amy said...

At our house all ice cream is to be eaten outside. That way the mess and the kids can be hosed down afterwards.

Anonymous said...

This reminds me of the time when one of my brothers kept asking Dad for a "big mess of ice cream." As a former military man and an engineer, Dad favored precision in language and was irked by the constant request for a "big mess' of ice cream.

Dad got the biggest mixing bowl Mom had and filled it with an ice cream scoop of every flavor of ice cream we had--chocolate, strawberry, butter pecan, vanilla. He then stirred them together and gave it to my brother saying, "Here's your big mess of ice cream." The rest of us didnt' dare laugh and my brother didn't dare not eat that "big mess of ice cream!" LOL

Pat

Lynn from For Love or Funny said...

Dang. I forgot to mention all those rules. This explains why my entire kitchen is sticky.

Lisa said...

LOL welcome to the Farm.

Pattie said...

Don't walk around the house while barely holding on to your bowl and laughing at your brother making farting sounds and then suddenly have to laugh just so hard that you just can't hold your bowl anymore and it just happens to drop on the carpet and not the tile floor that is just .22222 inches away!! Yeah....add that one to the list!

The Mommy said...

What? No photos? Have you since posted these rules on your kitchen wall (or is it like my kitchen where the number of rules you have to list just wouldn't fit)?

T Pace said...

Im getting married in August between us we will have four boys and two girls I already get a kick out of meal time when where together I never knew they you could hear mom I need that many times in a hour.
www.mprimprovements.com

Cookie said...

I have to tell my kids, "Don't turn your ice cream upside down. It will not stick to the bowl." Especially when they decide to try this on the couch! Oh, and this reminds me of the icee incident last summer. I know you don't read my blog, so you may not be aware that 2 kids might think it's a good idea to spit slurpees at each other. Red slurpess being spat across the family room carpet. I think that was the last time I bought slurpees.

Magda said...

Dawn, you´re so funny... I haven´t commented in a while, but man, you do bring a smile to my face with every post!

Thanks for that :).

L. said...

Speaking of kibble. I had a friend who had triplets. She was beside herself at all the mealtime messes. She finally resorted to giving the 3 baby triplets Cheerios for breakfast. Only, she would spread a fresh sheet on the dining room floor and then just sprinle the Cheerios right out of the box and onto the sheet. The triplets would eat like little chickens. Easy...no dishes...no mess.

Anonymous said...

Do not drop globs of ice cream on the floor just to watch the cat lick them up!

Dianne said...

I have to agree with the first commenter. #13 is a perfectly delightful way to eat ice cream.

And if you tell my kids I said that, I'll deny it.

Anonymous said...

We went to the beach yesterday with four boys from 4-8 years old (3 kids mine). After they all changed from the soaking wet clothes and we got off as much sticky sand as we could, we took them across the street for some icecream. Because it took so long to clean them up the first time, I said they were getting a bowl and spoon to avoid the messy, dripping, icecream all over their mouths, hands, table, clothes, and etc. you get from a cone. I'm sad to say my plan didn't work. I don't know how they still managed to get it everywhere!

Lu, Poppies Blooming said...

You should probably explain to your readers that should these rules not be learned in childhood, they are terribly difficult to learn them as husbands. Not saying how I know this, just trust me... sigh

Jen K. said...

#14 For husbands only. Eat your ice cream as quietly as possible, because clinking the spoon against the bowl and making chewing sounds while eating your ice cream can sound like "nails on a chalkboard". At least to this wife!

mommeeof9 said...

Rule for teenagers and husbands, do not eat all the ice cream you possibly can, and then complain that it is gone when you want more. Also, when you are eating ice cream, do not drip it on the projection tv screen or the keyboard of mom's new computer. Clean up any spills with a dish cloth or paper towel.

Shellie said...

That's the best thing about summer, sending the kids outside to eat and then just hosing them down.

Me said...

I am constantly amazed at the rules I end up needing to tell the kids (or the ones that I didn't say but wish I did).

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

Where are the pictures!!!

Jeanne said...

Don't lick the bowl and when you do, don't wipe the chocolate sauce from your face onto your mother's shirt, or the couch or anywhere except a napkin.

Love your blog!
mom to a six pack also

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