Saturday, November 29, 2008

My Disturbed Artistic Kids

My kids love to draw. Collectively, they must spend 40 hours a week drawing. Their work is so good, so absolutely awe-inspiring, that it must be shared with the masses. No need to thank me. Really.

Here are a couple of their drawings from this weekend...



Lexi drew this picture. Clearly, it's a drawing by a girl. Note the pretty rainbow colors. See the heart-shaped flowers and butterfly.



Lexi drew this one too. It's a picture of Clay lying on the couch. I can see it. There's Clay. He's reclining. I see his legs and arms, er, well um, one arm anyway.



Here's a picture Clay drew of Austin lying down and Brooklyn standing by him. Austin felt the need to embellish Clay's picture because it just wouldn't be a picture of Brooklyn unless she was wearing a top hat, shirt and pants. Oh and let's not forget the mustache and chest hair! Is that a castle in the background? Hmmm, I'm not sure about this one.



Here is a Lexi masterpiece. It's Clay and Austin on the couch. Apparently Clay is screaming or singing or yawning. Austin either has lipstick painted around his mouth or five o'clock shadow, and his one arm is twisted at an odd angle behind his neck. And check out Austin's impressive kneecaps. This was drawn after his kneecap augmentation surgery.
Austin, naturally, had to add his two cents to this drawing, as well. I guess Brooklyn is handing Austin a mug of beer. That's nice, isn't it? According to Austin, the giant spot on Brooklyn's stomach is her belly button. OK. She's holding a wallet and screaming, "My wallet!" (because this is what she did for a good hour yesterday). If you look very closely, you'll see a little guy with a gun by her head. Oh and that thing to the right of Brooklyn is not a string of chili peppers drying. Nope, it's flames threatening to stop Brooklyn's whining for good.



Now here we get a little more complicated. Clay started by drawing a picture of Brooklyn. Austin took the paper and added a picture of Lexi and Clay sitting on a love seat. Then Austin embellished the portrayal of Brooklyn. You know, by adding a party hat, a big hairy belly, pants, and a knife. So very realistic, don't you think? You know, if my baby looked like a creepy clown butcher with a beer gut. I'm not sure why there's a stick figure with a gun, shooting at Brooklyn. That little fairy-like thing at the top? I thought it was Tinkerbell too. Until Austin explained it to me. It's a flying monkey about to cut the rope holding the anvil. You know, so it can drop on the creepy clown's head (in case the bullet doesn't do the trick.)
Yep, my kids are perfectly well-adjusted. Nothing about this drawing screams out, "I need to see a psychiatrist. NOW!"
****I just showed my commentary to Austin who corrected me. Brooklyn is not a creepy clown butcher. She's a pirate. See the hook hand? She's carrying a sword, Mom. Duh.
Well, that makes much more sense. I'm ever so relieved. I guess I can stop frantically searching for the number to that pschiatrist now****

Remember to leave a comment to be entered in my drawing for a $75 gift card to Ride Makerz HERE.

27 comments:

Kaitlin said...

Austin's not too bad at drawing. I am a little concerned though why Brooklyn looks so evil in all the pictures.

BoufMom9 said...

OH MY Gosh!!!! Thanks for the serious giggles! At first I was going to suggest you show off some of their artwork with Magic marker Mondays, but then as I read on, it became clear that this artwork might not work for that. LOL

Not sure which is better..the artwork, or the commentary by you :)

Seriously, thanks for the giggles.

Mr. and Mrs. Nurse Boy said...

So funny!! I am glad I am not the only one who has a hard time appreciating my children's masterpieces! Not only that, they seem to bring home entire reams of paper every time they leave school or church. I am NOT going to lie. I toss them in the trash when noone is looking...

Mrs. Nurse Boy

plainprecious said...

Maybe they will be famous artist one day and those drawings will be worth allot one day.

MaBunny said...

HAHAHAHAHA, what creative kids you have !

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

THIS was the best line ever:

You know, if my baby looked like a creepy clown butcher with a beer gut.

Because that's exactly what my husband looked like when he carved the turkey on Thursday!

Bwhahahahahah!

Happy belated "I'm-so-over-bird-food" Day.

Keeley said...

ROFL!! =D =D

Did Austin draw the guy with the gun? My 13 year old draws that kind of stuff ALL the time when I'm not looking. When I am looking he doesn't because it's freaky.

Michelle said...

Dawn, forget the psychiatric analysis -- they're SHARING their drawings. One child does something and then allows a sibling to not only touch and look at said drawing but to actually ADD to it. That's huge!

And it's good to know what I have to look forward to. My drawings right now tend to be movies compressed to a single sheet of paper, and I need the narration as I'm looking at it. Good to know we soon get the creepy looking siblings ;)

Candi said...

You have some budding artistry going on. I'd call the style, "Marc Chagall and Paul Klee Attend Picasso's Workshop." Seriously, there's some real talent happening here, when you consider the ages of the artists involved. There are elements of dimension and perspective that mirror several schools of modern art, wherein proportions are deliberately manipulated to accentuate the importance of the subject matter rather than the actual appearance of the subject. Kids do that intuitively but the adult artists of these schools study for years to perfect that same quality. (Sorry - I'm a semi-retired commercial artist, who only paints what I want to now, instead of what a client says I have to - so I sort of had to critique their work). I'll sit down and be quiet now. (But they do have talent) Shhh. ;)

Karla with a K said...

OMS "kneecap augmentation surgery."

I love the drawings and the commentary. I also like how pretty Austin drew Lexi in the last one.

Jake said...

Hey Dawn,

I remember awhile ago someone asking how to find out how many subscribers you had through your blog feed. I just wanted to let you know that in Google Reader, you can click on "show details" on the blog your reading and it will tell you how many subscribers. For you blog, it says 320, and your review blog, it says 248. I don't know if this is all subscribers or just ones from Google Reader, but just wanted to let you know. =]

Steph said...

I see some great new eBay potential here... :-)

Erika said...

i love the drawings....and your explanation of them is too funny :)

Dawn said...

Methinks Austin has a wee bit of hostility bottled up toward a certain Brooklyn, eh? Very common. My big bro (oldest of 6) did also. Oh the things he did to us...!

dawn in michigan

Rebecca said...

i can tell brooklyn is well loved.

Headyball said...

Very nice! My girls love to draw too but we are more into the horse scene right now! Although, they have drawn their fair share of "What the heck is THAT?!?!" and they can get quite upset if you can't guess what it is! LOL!

Keren said...

Remember how I said I love your movie/tv quotes? This post just screams out for a particular movie quote, which you somehow neglected to include, so I'll generously provide it for you.

Malcolm Crowe: How do you draw now?

Cole Sear: Draw... people smiling, dogs running, rainbows. They don't have meetings about rainbows.

Veggiemomof2 said...

At least it didn't end with a trip to the ER! :)

Anonymous said...

thanks for the laugh! :) ::)

rickellespinoza said...

your kids always crack me up. i dont know how you do it. i have 3 and i can barely handle them, granted they are all under the age of 4, but still.

Abby & her happy things said...

Thanks for the laughs! (And what is it about boys his age and the violent stick figures??! I had a 6th grader last year who used to spend hours in class doing stick figure drawings.)


He's got a lot of talent though. =) Do Jackson or Savannah draw?

Elleah said...

Your kids + your commentary = hilarious!

Emily from The STL said...

Love it! I wouldn't worry too much about the violent nature of the pictures they drew, when I was in grade school my best friend's little sister who was around 6 or 7decided to do a fresco scene on the inside of their playhouse depicting the two children back in the early 90's who were strapped in a car and rolled into the water by their mom. I believe it turned out that the mother had a boyfriend that was not fond of children. Anyways, we were all horrified of course, especially her mom, but she is now a very normal, moral, and well adjusted lawyer! Oh wait a sec! Did I say moral and lawyer in the same sentence??!! ;)

AndiWrite said...

I always say--it's a good thing kids are so entertaining, 'cause who has time for movies? Love the pics and the commentary! Nothing beats a kid's explanation of a kid's drawing. Love the flying monkey!

Ellie said...

Haha, your comments made me laugh.

And how's Lexi's arm holding up?

Shannon said...

Too funny! My favorite part is the little flying monkey. No sweet fairies in those pictures. :)

Val in the Rose Garden said...

Oh so giggly now. Thanks. :) I love seeing that other peoples kids are 'well adjusted' too. Alex makes pictures of things exploding all the time. And usually, many of those things are people. The only color he uses is red. He is 12. Yep. Blood is red.

Kids are crazy.

Val

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