Tuesday, June 17, 2008

My Patience Gauge is on Empty

The other day Joe and I were talking about the Feingold diet and how we weren't really seeing results with it. We agreed that it wasn't really making a difference in Jackson's behavior, so we decided to let him eat things that were off the diet. We started this a couple days ago.

We were wrong.

Maybe the diet doesn't work as well as medication, but hoo boy, judging by Jackson's "wackadoo, out of control, making us all want to jump off a bridge" behavior the last couple days, it appears the diet was at least helping. The pencil to Clay's eye yesterday was just the tip of the iceberg. After the day I had today, I can see why some parents abandon their young while they're only a month old. Like these bunnies in my friend Jen's yard...



Actually, rabbits may be onto something. They nurse their babies maybe once a day and their gestation period is only a month long!

Anyway, if I had any doubts that the diet was helping, they all evaporated today. Oh. My. Gosh. I haven't seen Jackson so horrible in a long time and I have no desire to see him like that again anytime soon ever! Note to self (and anyone else dumb enough to try this): Kool Aid is about the worst thing you can give someone with sensitivities to artificial colors and flavors.)

I think I have a finite amount of patience for any given day. When it runs out, then I become HIM. "Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry." Let me tell ya, I ran out of patience by noon today. Most days, I can deal with the crazy stuff and the arguing between the kids. Little things don't phase me on most days. Most days, I don't feel like curling up in a fetal position, rocking back and forth, and sucking down hard liquor my thumb.

Then there are days like today where I can't so much as stand the sound of breathing by the time bedtime rolls around because my patience has been completely depleted.

Beer goes with chocolate chip cookies, right? Because I have a craving for both right now. Or maybe I should just save it for tomorrow when I take all 6 of them to the dentist by myself and somehow try to have a conference call in the middle of that.

57 comments:

Janet said...

Beer and chocolate chip cookies right now. Tomorrow when you get to the dentist, demand laughing gas RIGHT NOW, or you will leave all 6 kids in the dentist's office all day.

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

I love taking mine to the dentist! People look completely terrified when we walk in and take over the waiting room. And my dentist is fantastic - 6 kids teeth cleaned, x-rays taken, exam given - all in under an hour. Plus, balloons! It's a party!

But I know what you mean about that not being able to stand hearing anyone breathe after 7 PM. I feel so bad for them, because - let's face it - I'm their mother. And if I can't stand them, who will?

Sarah said...

Wow, Dawn. That sounds like a craptastic day. I'm glad you know the diet is helping though. Hopefully it won't take longer than instantly for it to start working again. Here's hoping that the patience gods talk to their buds the quiet and obedient gods so that tomorrow is an awesome day.

AKB said...

Oh, gosh, Dawn, I am so sorry that you have to deal with all this! It isn't Jackson's fault but none the less, you want to kill the symptoms just as bad.

Hugs and love to you and your family as you try to get him back on the diet and try to get the house back under control. Prayers to you all.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

AKB

Becca "Gatermom" said...

I hope that I am not offending when I offer a few suggestions. We are experimenting with dietary changes as well and we have a friend who has just put her 9 yr old on the Feingold Diet. I found this website that has a long list of phenol foods that should be eliminated. http://www.danasview.net/phenol.htm
I know that we have found that we were missing some places where our son was getting dairy in forms we did not even know existed. I know that one of the things that helped us turn a major corner was adding enzymes to compliment the dietary changes. enzymestuff.com is great and they have a whole page about the FD. http://www.enzymestuff.com/dietsfg.htm
One other Q: Are you a member of the Fiengold Program and if so do you think that it is worth the almost $100 a year?

Mary said...

Oh Dawn, I feel your pain. Two of my boys are very sensitive to certain additive and natural chemicals found in foods and every now and then we let them binge and they go psycho. Ugh! I don't know much about Feingold but we used the Failsafe diet (www.fedupwithfoodadditives.info) to work out what they were sensitive to. If you feel Jackson could be better than he is even when on the Feingold maybe you could look into Failsafe as another thing to try.

imgladyouasked said...

Wow all 6 to the dentist at the same time?? What were you thinking? You most certainly will deserve a medal after that (and probably some liquor to go along with it I am sure). I need something to help me relax just to take myself to the dentist.

Praying you have a better day tomorrow.

Debra Johnson said...

Dawn - Might sound crazy...but we had to put our daughter on a simple diet: fruits and vegetables. *ONLY
Sounds radical, I know. but...it was actually quite simple. When she wanted something to eat...it was one of 2 choices..... What do you want...a fruit or vegetable? ( we kept veggies cut up in small portions in baggies in the frig for her...carrots, celery, cucumbers) It took her awhile to adjust to this and she tried to BUCK it for a month or so...but we 'never' gave in...so 'she' finally gave in. Hey, if they are hungry ENOUGH..they'll choose one of the options. No dairy...we did do a 'little' bread and rice and granola. But that was it.
I know it sounds like it would make life terrible....but it really made life much much easier...you didn't have to think about it....and it made HER sooooo much better! THAT was what kept us strong ~ the result.
Just a suggestion from someone who has been there.....I completely FEEL for your day!!! Hope you get some sleep and you feel completely recharged tomorrow:) Debra

Kelly said...

Dawn-I am so sorry about your day. I'm sure that after the anger and frustration subsides, your heart is sad that your little guy has these troubles. Hang in there. You are a great mom! Everyone out here is wishing you the best.
-Kelly

kymomma said...

yes. beer and cookies go together. go for it! although i prefer bailey's and ice cream. :)

jodi-mother of six said...

Chocolate chip cookies go with anything.... hope tomorrow is better! I feel for you!!

Anonymous said...

I am sorry you had one of "those" days. Know you are not alone!
And yes, beer and cookies go great together. My personal preference is the frozen "Bucket of Margaritas" w/ leftover birthday cake.

Smiles! Becca said...

Beer goes with everything! But honestly Tequilla is better with chocolate chip cookies. ((((((hugs)))))

Sandy said...

ohhh i hope you have a better day tomorrow, but six kids and the dentist (whew you are brave!) i found your site a couple of days ago, and find myself wanting to come back. I have to say that baby over on the right with the chocolate all over it's face just cracks me up, is that one of yours???
God Bless You and may the force be with you, (whoever the force is lol)
Sandy )

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

Hang in there. We don't have any dietary issues and I'm ready to lock 2 of my teenagers in separate rooms for the rest of the summer. Did I mention today is our first day off school?

Dot said...

I know I'm not the only one doing this, Dawn, but a MASSIVE amount of prayers have just gone up for you and Joe and the kids and your day tomorrow. God grant you peace.

Manic Mom said...

Oh Dawn! I am so sorry! But look on the bright side--you tried it, and now you definitely know the diet stuff was helping!

I think when I get back from my vaca, we may need a trip to Brio, but when we order the Wedge salad, I'll ask them to remove the steak knife from it first!

Deep breaths, deep breaths, my friend!

xoxoxo

Michelle said...

Is it bad that I'm giggling as I'm picturing you with the six kids at the dentist on a conference call? Really, I wish you luck (which reminds me that I need to call my dentist tomorrow to schedule a check up, thanks!).

Shall I assume that you've officially started back on the Feingold diet?

margalit said...

I'm NOT a believer in the Feingold diet, which has been very widely disputed, but I do limit the amount of food additives and artificial coloring my kids get. And we eat organic as much as possible. I see absolutely NO difference in my ADHD kids except when they eat freaking cheese doodles. When other kids bring those over, it's like rocket fuel. But for the most part, just keeping the food natural and plain seems to work best.

Oh, and we DO use medication.

Kyra said...

Okay mental note no kool-aid (hmmmm wonder what the aid part is for?). Oh yeah remember the dentist has gas to knock them out. Or you. Take your pick. And thanks for using the correct Hulk and you are a superhero too or God would not have trusted you with these gems!

fawndear said...

Wow, Dawn,
I just had an identical day. Except instead of a pencil to the eye we had screaming fit to bust your eardrums. You just described a couple of my kids and me. I guess I'd better take a look at that Feingold Diet after all.
I'd tell you to go have some chocolate, but maybe a pedicure out of the house and away from the kids would probably be a better idea.
Hope tomorrow's better.

Shari said...

Oh Dawn: I can so relate with ADHD children. I have one with that and the Feingold has done wonders for him. You were the one that led me to it! Hang in there! Try getting him back on it and see what happens. You are an awesome Momma. Love to ya, too! (((HUG))))

Shadowydreamer said...

To fill your useless information quota.. :)

Wild bunny mommies only come by their nests at dusk and dawn, laying scent trails away from the nest so potential predators will come after them (the mummy) instead of the babies. They can leave their babies for up to three days before the babies will be in any trouble. They just nap and wait for mommy to come back. (You're right, bunnies have some secret like brandy in the milk.)

Domestic (House) bunnies.. well, I've seen more than one picture of Momma rabbit sitting somewhere up high, watching her little ones with the "HA, you can't get up here!" expression.. and then one a couple weeks later of "Crap, you've learned how to get up here.."

BoufMom9 said...

Oh Dawn! I am so sorry you are having these issues.
If it helps, I am right with you!
We stupidly decided to let our son david not take his meds for the summer, just to "see how he would do."
Well, we got the RX filled today! We made it a total of 8 days. 8!

Here's hoping things get better!
:) Debi

Shellie said...

It makes my head ache just thinking about combining your last few days with the dentist thing the next day. I always have to do the 5 at once by myself at the dentist too. They're starting to learn to move us through faster because if you are just a little too long, they are berserk at the end. Hope you get a good night's sleep and that they are extra good tomorrow. I also hope something that works better comes along. Sounds like it's worth it to eat as little processed food as possible, but heaven only knows what else he needs; I'll pray you get an answer soon. I have so been there on not knowing what to do next with a kid out of control.

joyfulmom said...

Oh Dawn! Of course beer and chocolate chip cookies go together! I'm surprised you haven't tried that combo before. LOL

Your post reminded me of one of my crazy-Mommy-moment times. If you have time, you can read it at this link.
http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/psalm113v9/486483/

Good luck at the dentist's office. There's nothing like keeping ALL OF THE KIDS happy while in a very small space. Let's just say that I'll be praying for you and an extra dose of sanity.

Hugs!

Rick said...

Beer on the Feingold diet? Because that might settle him down.

roseys madhouse said...

I think cookies and baileys definately sounds like a better mix than beer. You know when my kids get me going and believe me when I tell you, that can be a daily thing. I go outside and split wood lol nothing better than something to hit really hard.

Anonymous said...

Oh my! I will be praying for you and the kids! You can do it. Keep the faith!

Anita in Indiana

Robin said...

I can only imagine what you're going thru...not having 6 kids i can ONLY imagine. I'm sorry for the rough day! Will Jackson resist going back on the diet now that he's had a little taste of "freedom"? Or does he see the changes in himself and want to get back to feeling calmer? Poor guy.
I hope your day is a better one. Good luck at the dentist. I love the other comment made about requesting laughing gas when you get there!

Sherry said...

We had the same kind of experience with Feingold. We weren't noticing any difference and then my dd had something with red dye and oh my. I think that the reactions to the sensitivities are more drastic when they have gotten it out of their systems for a while. My dd also complains of stomach issues when she's eaten other things that are not approved, such as things with artificial preservatives. Empathizing with you. :)

Brenda said...

I find anything red and specifially red Gatorade to be an accelerant.

Kathi S. said...

How about Baileys and chocolate chip cookies? I have a great recipe for Kaluha brownies too.

I've got it, a chocolate massage.

Since reading your blog, I have limited my son on the artifical stuff too. He is borderline ADD (no H). We have meltdowns every other day or so over little things like who got the change at the grocery store. He is an only child so that has a lot to do with it.

Maybe the dentist can let you take a tank of the laughing gas home. It would be for you, so you can have a laugh or two.

Are there any summer camps in your town. We have several day summer camps that the rec center puts on. It would give you a "break" from some of the kids and it's educational too.

Anonymous said...

Dawn, my two toddlers were crazy yesterday too! After a long day of chaos, I accicdentally overmedicated the dog. This lead to a late night call to the emergency vet. After finding out the dog was going to be okay, I headed upstairs, glanced out the window and saw a FULL MOON! Never fails. FULL MOON = CRAZY!!!

Mabunny said...

Hope you have a better day today. Hope the beer and chocolate chip cookies did the trick:))
Have fun at the dentist!

Mrs. Tara S said...

I'm pretty sure any combination of alcohol and junk food go together at the end of that kind of day. Or for lunch on that day...

Wendy said...

The following usually makes me feel better...

Oatmeal Cookie recipe
serve in Old-Fashioned Glass

1/2 oz Grand Marnier® orange liqueur
1/2 oz butterscotch schnapps
1/2 oz Bailey's® Irish cream



Pour ingredients into a stainless steel shaker over ice, and shake until completely cold. Strain into an old-fashioned glass, and serve.

3girlsmom said...

Oh, sorry you are patience-less and having a hard day. I can totally relate, as can about a zillion other SAHM's.
On another note, I was totally not expecting the Hulk when I clicked the link. I laughed out loud because 1. he's a green dude, and 2. it's so appropriate when we're out of patience!
Have a better day.
Stay away from Kool-Aid! :)

Domestic Spaz said...

I think we've all had those days. Days when you feel like turning the clocks forward at 4:00 so bed time comes earlier... I curse my husband for buying my eight year old a watch.

Beer and chocolate chip cookies sounds like a party to me.

Anonymous said...

I just started reading Perfect Weight by Jordan Rubin and I couldnt believe that all of the natural preservatives and food additives in our foods come from China. European countries have actually banned importing foods from the US that are not natural.
If you ever get a free day...i know you are laughing to yourself...pick up a copy of his book..its enlightening..I have decided to put all of us on the organic diet. You can also check out his website. Perfectweightamerica.com

Nancy said...

I know you have mentioned in the past that Jackson can't be on medication because it raises his blood pressure, but it was working, right? Could you give Tenex (Guanfacine) a try? It's off label use right now for ADHD, but it's original purpose was for treating hypertension. It doesn't work for attention issues, but it does work for hyperactivity. Just a thought. :-)

Anonymous said...

Hard liquor sounds better than beer. after a day like that... Hit the bag of chocolet chips, skip the cookies all together... and than have a few shots.
Today was a full strength help me forget day. *G*

Been there done all this. Best thing we did was the new diet for our son. Keep at it. Even if you can't get off the meds. (we still use meds) the diet turns them into realy cool easier to tolerate little humans.

THinking of you all
JennT.
P.s. Box there yet?

Michelle said...

Repeat after me: "Don't doubt the diet!" and "It can always be worse!"

Becky said...

I am soooo right there with you today. If my children survive to see tomorrow, it will be God's will. Not mine. [grim smile]

If my husband knows what's good for him, he'll stay on that business trip to Las Vegas. I don't think it's safe for him to come home. Heh.

My Kids' Mom said...

I wish I even had a place to start. I don't think our problems with Kid 2 will be solved by the Feingold diet. I had a similarly awful day yesterday. He started in screaming (about something irrelevant)before ten and I decided that grocery shopping might distract him. No. He continued screaming for the entire shopping trip and after we got home. The old people at the grocery were actively avoiding our aisles and giving me "spare the rod and spoil the child" stares. I should have given him to them to see if they could calm him down.

Then when I got home I realized I'd been so distracted I'd been driving on a flat tire. Dealing with it made me so late to pick up Kid 1 from camp that I ended up in a half mile long carpool line.

Frozen Girl Scout cookies go fine with a good Merlot.

Joy said...

Beer and Cookies... Works for me!

swissjordanmom said...

I thought this might cheer you up. http://dsc.discovery.com/video/?playerId=203711706&categoryId=1175888584&lineupId=15803052&titleId=1509264631

david santos said...

Very good post, Dawn, very good!
Congratulations.

Anonymous said...

You got it Dawn. The best way to 'check' if a restricted diet is working for its intended purpose is to go off of it for a period of time. And now you have your answer.
I don't want to offend in any way, nor discourage you, but perhaps there's something else that needs to be eliminated from his diet as well. I know very little about this, but my sister has taken three of her children off of gluten (as well as herself), and the change in their behaviour is remarkable. Just a thought.....BTW, I'm glad to hear that I'm not the only one who has these kind of no-patience days!
Ingrid

go mom go said...

I'm so glad to know that other moms have horrible days. I have to go lock myself in my bathroom every once in awhile a cry a good cry. But then, it's always scary to see what has happened to the house while you were in there.
I just got back from the orthodontist today with all of mine. Looks like we're headed to the dentist for 4 tooth-pullings and a something-dectomy to cut the flap of skin between the top teeth and upper lip.
Good luck tomorrow. It can only get better...I'm crossing my fingers for ya.

MamaNeena said...

I think the beer and cookie thing is an nice start. Now, have it served in Hawaii by a young, shirtless man that has a striking resemblance to Johnny Depp and you've got yourself a party!

Sunny said...

I have had beer and cookies days, and I only have two kids.

mommeeof9 said...

My husband doesn't understand why I like to stay up late and veg out at the pc or with a good trashy romance novel. After 10 pm, it is quiet and I can relax. :)

I try to avoid most processed stuff. If I slip and buy popsicles or sugar sweetened crap cereal, I can tell by my 10 yr olds behavior.

A friend who shops at traders joe's says they have some kids cereals that taste like froot loops, etc, only with natural coloring and flavorings. That would give the kids a junk cereal?

Michelle said...

OK, friend....I have had one of those weeks, although I am sure what you are dealing with Jax is above my sensory integration issues with "I"....

but I still think she should hit the road - you and me - Thelma and Louise style...except NO jumping off a cliff....we'll just put in an extra Brad Pitt scene instead!

*hugs*

Amelia said...

This may be something you already know and/or have tried, but I've heard red food dye is particularly bad for kids with sensitivity issues...and it's in EVERYTHING. I'm sure the Feingold diet follows a dye free path, but it may be less restrictive to try just goign without the dye...

Sally said...

Dawn wrote: Note to self (and anyone else dumb enough to try this): Kool Aid is about the worst thing you can give someone with sensitivities to artificial colors and flavors.)
I love your blog and I love your writing but I have one word for you....DUH!!!

Shelly S., Nebraska said...

Dawn,
I hear you cluckin' big chicken! I was counting the days till schools starts the other day, after one of those hair-raising days with my own six kiddos.

As the Mom of six kids under age 11, (4 boys and then 2 girls) I know that we need all the help we can get. As a Mom of 10-year-old twin boys who both have ADHD, I can tell you that time, patience, and convenience are of the essence! And as the Mom of a 4-year-old boy who gives Dennis the Menace a run for his money (another ADHD kid waiting to be discovered!), I can tell you that some days faith is all that gets me through!

I cannot imagine how you have the time to follow Feingold. You are a hero for your children!! At our house we use nutrition/supplements rather than limiting diets. (Along with meds for just one of my boys.) There is a fabulous product called Reliv (www.reliv.com) that has a children's formula full of "brain food" (in addition to all the other nutrition ingredients) that makes easing the symptoms of ADHD a lot simpler. I just mix shakes for my kids and I'm done. EASY. I like that!

Just my .02. Hang in there, honey. You are awesome!

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