A Look Into the Depths

...of my van, that is.

Thursday night after my book signing, my friends helped me carry a heavy box of books and my video camera and tripod and such out to my car. As they put the things in the back, this is what they saw...

In all honesty, I didn't think twice about it. My van is actually fairly clean right now. These guys, however (or the ones who don't have kids anyway) thought it was hilarious that I had so much stuff in there. So, I decided to take pictures.

The view from the back - 2 baseball bags, a hockey bag, a case of water and a box of books...

Here's a close-up of a wad of chewed gum. What? Where else would you put nasty, old chewed-up gum?

Clay's bat bag, Jax's water bottle, and a bag with a little Video Now player (minus batteries) in it...

Jax's hockey bag...

Lexi's Nintendo DS. So THAT'S where it is!

a naked Strawberry Shortcake doll (for some reason, all the dolls in my house and car are naked. Should I be concerned?), Matchbox car, stuffed doll, and a lawn chair...

an Oreo cookie wrapper and a snow scraper... Yes, I'm aware it's May, but you just never know...

Water bottle, softball, and a used straw just because...

a naked mini Bratz doll with no feet Yes, I know my kids are probably disturbed. But check out that cool hairdo!

a couple of Brooklyn's glamorous jewels...

some of my reusable grocery bags and more jewelry...

a broken hockey stick, another doll, and a cloth bag full of toys under the seats...

a broken lid from a fast food soft drink cup...

a pile of garbage...

a pair of pants... I have no idea!

an elbow length glove and a doll hairbrush...

an empty bag from Disney World...

a swim vest still in my car from when we went to The Dells in January...

a pirate argh!

a year book, baseball cap, sweatshirt, and poncho...

Barbie keys...

straw wrapper, cookie wrapper, and smashed dandelion...

Brooklyn's sweatshirt, crumbs, and dandelion parts from the bouquet Brooklyn gave me the other day...

Belle and the tray from the stroller that broke last month...

another swim vest that's been in here since January...

Moto Moto who repeatedly says, "Grrrr, I'm every hippo's dream" until we're all shouting, "Shut up Moto Moto!"

a magnet that we made in Sunday school...

another Sunday school project. The kids in my class kept asking Austin to draw them sharks to add to their fish.

My area is fairly clean - 3 week old water bottle, coconut lip gloss, change and some misc. papers and CDs.

Sleeping Beauty...

a paper that Lexi drew on. It says, "I love you Mom!" Awww...

The only problem I see here is that there is a serious lack of fruit snacks, fries, and Goldfish crackers. What's up with that???

Who's Who in BabyWorld

I'm finishing up my book and am busy doing a little editing this week, so instead of wowing you with my awesome stories (HA!) I decided to do a little contest instead. I'm posting some baby pictures (Awwww, how cute!). They're all pictures of my kids. Guess who is who. (Hint: there aren't necessarily 6 babies pictured here because I'm just tricky like that.) So, go ahead and guess who's who. The first person with the most accurate number of guesses will win a $20 gift card for Babies R Us good at any stores or online. If you don't have little babies, you can use it for your grandchildren, nieces, nephews, neighbors, co-worker's kids, or buy a bunch of diapers and formula with it and donate them to your local food pantry.

My kids are:
Austin - 13
Savannah - 11
Jackson - 9
Lexington - 6
Clayton - 4
Brooklyn - 2

So here they are...

#1


#2


#3


#4


#5


#6

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words

I've had some of these pictures on my camera for a while now, but I keep forgetting to show you guys. Enjoy...


Doesn't the toilet look pretty with make-up?


The sink too


Hey Mom, don't I have big muscles? I've been working out.


Hello. Do you like my hat?


Why yes, I do like your hat!


Hand over your money and no one gets hurt.


Found this in the freezer the other day. I guess the guilty party Clay thought he wouldn't get caught if he only took a couple bites and put the rest back in the package in the freezer.


What else would you keep in your sock drawer but a banana peel?


This is what I found in the bottom of Lexi's backpack today. Mmmmm.


The snowmom my kids made yesterday. If you look closely, you can see 4 of the 6 snowbabies in front of it.


Snowbabies


And finally, the picture of me and the kiddos

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Thank you and have a good night!

Say Cheese!

Last week my publisher asked me to send them a picture of myself, and one of me and the kids that they could use for marketing purposes. Since I'm the official Meehan family picture taker, there are very few pictures of me, so I made an appointment to have some professional shots taken.

ME: I'd like to make an appointment to have my picture taken. I need to have a picture of me and also one of me and my kids together.
HER: Sure. How many kids will be in the sitting?
ME: Six.
HER: How many?
ME: Six.
HER: Are you sure?
looking around, counting heads Umm yeah, I'm pretty sure.
HER: Are they all yours?
Now, I didn't make a conscious decision to mess with the person on the other end of the line, but somehow these words came out of my mouth... Is what mine?
HER: The kids. Are they all yours?
ME: What kids?
sounding a bit confused I'm sorry ma'am. I thought you said you wanted your picture taken with your kids?
ME: I don't have any kids.
HER: Ohhhh. thoroughly confused OK, so you just want to make an appointment to get your picture taken?
ME: No. I need to get a picture taken of me and my kids too.
wondering if she's losing her mind or if I'm crazy That's what I thought! OK, we have an opening for an appointment for you at 6:00 and then for you and your kids at 6:30. Does that work?
ME: Sure!
HER: Now what are the ages of your kids?
ME: What kids?
deciding that I'm obviously a mental patient, she asks... The kids in the picture! What are their ages so we can be prepared for them.
I contemplated, for a moment, telling her that she misunderstood me and that I don't have kids, but I do have cats and would like my picture taken with them, but I reconsidered and told her instead that my phone was breaking up and I was having a hard time hearing her. I think she bought it.

Yesterday morning, I called the studio and inquired, "Ummm, I have an appointment for tomorrow night and I was just wondering, umm do you guys retouch your pictures?
What do you mean?
Well, you see, I have a zit the size of Wyoming on my face and I'm overdue to get my hair colored. There's so much silver coming out of my scalp that it looks like a Brillo pad. And I should probably try to whiten my teeth too.
I think I scared the woman on the other end of the phone.
Anyway, Kelli, my most awesome, wonderful web designer assured me that she could fix the picture if the photographer didn't do a great job. She said she could erase wrinkles, take off ten years and ten pounds. How cool is that, right? But then I started thinking, hmmm maybe I should ask her to add some wrinkles, gray hair, ten years and ten pounds. That way when people see me in person they'll think, "Wow, you look great! Much better than your picture."

So anyway, we went for the pictures tonight. Do you know how hard it is to coordinate a picture with seven people? I have no idea how larger families do it. I guess they just pick the picture with the least amount of bunny ears, possessed looks, closed eyes, and fingers up noses.
Stop making bunny ears.
Look at the camera.
Stop looking at your sister.
Stop squatting down.
Smile!
Keep your hands to yourself.
Get your finger out of your nose.
Stop making stupid faces.
Oh great! You made her cry. Didn't I tell you to keep your hands to yourself.
The photo shoot is over!
I swear, in every picture, someone was looking away, or had their eyes crossed, or had a demonic look, or was busy scratching themselves. But this was the good part! At least when I got my picture taken with the kids, I was able to strategically place the kiddos around me to help hide my fatness. :D

Then my wonderful husband, who drove separately to this photo shoot fiasco extraordinaire, took the kids out for ice cream while I got my picture taken in peace. As much as I hate getting my picture taken, I discovered that's it's even worse trying to pick out the best picture of the bunch. After 2 1/2 hours of my indecisiveness, the kind lady at the studio, sensing that I could easily be there for another 4 hours before deciding, pointed to a picture and said, "I like that one! That's the best one."
Good enough for me! Thank you. Goodnight.

Coming Back Down to Earth

OK, I've had over 900 hits to this blog today. Whew! I'm getting all these wonderful comments on my auction that are swelling my head something terrible. I've only done one load of laundry today because someone as magnificent as I clearly am, should not have to stoop to doing laundry. Someone with talent of this caliber should simply not have to do chores.

:::snort:::

OK, It's definitely time to make a little fun of myself in an effort to bring me back down to earth. I'm sorry about the picture quality. My scanner doesn't work with Vista (coughcoughconspiracy) so these are pictures of pictures.
Here we go...


And thus began my legacy of bad hair.


Yes, my parents made me sleep on a shelf.


I always say my kids are going to drive me to drink. Now I see it was my PARENTS who started me on that path!


The predecessor to the down vest. An attractive look, no? I wish I knew what was on my finger. I'd probably just picked my nose or something.


This is what happens if your parents forget to pack your blankie when you go to visit relatives. What??? You've never sucked your thumb while holding a cat's tail?


Unlike my daughters, I've never been especially fond of shoes. Orthopaedic comfort before style.


"You're serious? THIS is my Christmas present? But I asked for a tricycle!"


Even back then, I tried to hide my big butt with baggy clothing.
But even worse - check out the curtains!!!


Stacy! Clinton! HELP!!!


Yeah, I don't know - my dad always took pictures of me sitting next to inanimate people. But check out those snazzy pants! FORE!


The infamous smocked-top dress. No first day of kindergarten would be complete without it.


I know what you're thinking - why are those boys in dresses? I'm embarrassed to admit that those boys are actually me and my sister. See? We're holding dandelions. That's a girly thing to do.


Ummm, I'm pretty sure this outfit was NEVER in style.


Now boarding, flight 129, nonstop service to Orlando, at gate 23.
Nice barrettes, by the way!


What's with the tie, Colonel Sanders?


This is what a can of Aquanet can do. Just don't light any matches near that hair!
Oh and the eyebrows! Look familiar?