Monday, November 29, 2010

Sunday Sound Out

From Chicago, home of the Whales, it's your host, Dawn Meehan (she smells like vanilla).

How many of the kids have broken bones?
Hmmm, let's see. I believe there have been six broken bones, four times needing stitches, ten surgeries, and more colds, flus, stomach viruses, sprains, cuts, black eyes, bloody lips, and abrasions than I can count. And last year, there were...

How can you fold laundry with six kids?
I used to fold the laundry and set it neatly on my bed in stacks for the kids to put away, but after sixteen years of finding clean, unworn, still-folded clothes thrown back in the hampers, I gave up. Now I just take the clean laundry out of the dryer and throw it right back into the washer.

How do you manage taking care of six kids every day?
Probably the best way to explain this is by sharing my schedule with you.

7:30 The alarm on my phone goes off. I hit it a few times until it shuts up.

7:40 The stinkin' alarm goes off again. I bury my phone under my pillow to silence it.

8:30 The kids come in my room to see if I'm dead. Upon hearing my less-than-pleasant growls, they ask (from a safe distance, of course) if I'm going to drive them to school.

8:40 I drag my butt out of bed and step on the cereal that's covering the kitchen floor, half-notice the milk that's dripping off the counter, and look at the clock. No time to make coffee. I eat a spoonful of grounds.

8:50 Go on a search for Clay's shoes. Every. Single. Day.

9:00 Find one shoe in the closet and the other one on the garage roof.

9:05 Curse the idiots in the Kiss 'N Drive lane.

10:00 Back home. Sit down to ingest mucho mas caffeine.

10:01 Get Brooklyn chocolate milk.

10:02 Play a couple hundred rounds of Princess Matching Game.

10:03 Get Brooklyn a bagel.

10:04 Clean up spilled chocolate milk.

10:05 Get Brooklyn some peanut butter for her bagel

10:06 Clean up peanut butter.

10:07 Slice up a cucumber for Brooklyn.

10:07 Sit back down and watch SpongeBob with Brooklyn. Brooklyn tells me I'm like Squidward in the morning. Go back for more coffee.

12:00 Get up to shower. On the way to bathroom, notice Brooklyn's full cup of milk, peanut butter bagel and cucumbers still sitting, untouched, on the table.

12:00 (and two seconds) Have the following conversation.



Mumble mumble blah blah blah


I said mumble mumble blah blah blah

WHAT? I can't hear you! I'm in the shower!

I SAID, are you in the shower, Mom?


12:55 Wonder where the last three hours went. Say, "Oh crap! It's time for school! I never got you lunch! Are you hungry? Here, have a Snickers bar and grab your backpack!"

1:10 Sit down to write an article, but get distracted by the 999 emails in my box. Okay fine! I might, possibly, perhaps, maybe play 5000 games a game or two of solitaire. Occasionally. Sometimes. A little bit.

3:00 Wonder how the heck time keeps accelerating as I rush out the door to pick up Brooklyn five minutes late.

3:30 Curse my fellow man and wonder how these people ever managed to obtain driver's licenses as I pick up the other kids.

3:31 Start yelling about the fact that the kids have completely destroyed the house in less than a minute's time.

5:00 Stop yelling and start making dinner.

8:00 Start yelling for the kids to stop jumping on the couches and put their freaking pajamas on. Begin a calming bedtime routine.

10:00 Threaten to make the kids sleep outside. Tuck the kids in for the fourteenth time.

11:00 Yell at the teens to stop texting and go to sleep or I'll run over their phones with my car.

11:30 Go through as much email as I can until my eyes bleed, then write some articles and come up with terribly clever, witty, brilliant things to say on my blog. You're welcome.

2:00 Remember that my sheets are still in the washing machine. Plop them in the dryer and sit back down to play just one more game of solitaire...

3:00 Make my bed and curse myself for staying up too late again.


SandyAnnDee said...

LOL! Can I quote your laundry response on FB?

~L0SERM0M~ said...

Okayyyyy. I just got finished reading Steph's post on Real Moms Guide titled "Do You Own Your Pink?" Her first sentence is 'It's a funny thing, the vagina'. Just so you men out there know what 'our pink is' ain't NO purse mister!
So, I come over here to read your blog as I do EVERY monday, even though a few monday's there has been NO soundout. I'm not giving you crap about it, just stating a fact =) On with my story. Your intro on your 'sound out' ya know where you describe Chicago...welllll guess what I read/thought I read in the parentheses?!?!? Yep you got it. Thank goodness I had my coffee already and had the sense enough to know you did not smell like that.
Sorry, kinda a gross story. But I had to share...

GildaGirl said...

Oh M' Gosh!! This is one is CLASSIC DAWN!!! So Dang Funny!! I HAVE TO share this one on my FB. Anyone reading this as their first intro (is that redundant??) to you will be absolutely captivated! Love reading you & I'm sure I'm only one of many readers never blessed with little ones.

Round Belly said...

8:50 Go on a search for Clay's shoes. Every. Single. Day.

hysterical- I have a Clay who is 5.5 years old and he is the only kid who is gets more then 1 pair of shoes at the beginning of the school year. This year he has 3 different pairs of shoes and another 3 pairs of boots- it really helps us find something to put on his feet before the bus comes.

mommeeof10 said...

I sent my 10 yr old to school in his winter boots today, as he did not find his other shoe last night and I could not find it easily this am. I found it around 9, thought maybe I would drop them off on my way to work, then decided it would not kill him to wear his hot, heavy boots until he got off the bus.

Unknown said...

Loved this Sunday Sound Out the best. I was heading to bed and decided to see if you blogged.
Glad I did as I am tired but going to bed with big smile on my face.

Thanks Dawn..

Hugs, Donna from NE Indiana

Unknown said...

I have more questions about your laundry, lol. Sorry :)

How many loads a day do you do? There are five of us and I have so many piles of laundry its not even funny! Also, what kind of hampers do you use? Do each of the kids have one? Do you have two or three in the hallway? How do you manage it? Thanks a bunch!


P.S... Will you add me on Facebook again?

Sarah said...

that cracks me up...and wears me out just reading it, can't believe (but I know you do) living it. God bless you for being a wonderful mother (seriously!) :)

Kris Roach said...

Dang, your kids school starts way later than kids leave for school at 7 alarm goes off before 6....but then, I don't stay up till 3! It all balances out...haha!

Kathleen said...

LOL about the laundry. Our days are quite different and not just because I only have 2 1/2 kids (One's in the oven still.) My oldest goes to JK but she goes all day, every other day. So she goes Monday, Wednesday and some Fridays for about 6 hours.

We're also at school before you even get out of bed. My daughter's school starts at 8:30, bell rings at 8:25. But then they're done at 2:40.

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