Every morning, it's the same old thing. I spend an eternity searching for Clayton's shoes, coat, mittens, homework, backpack, folders, library books. You name it, he loses it. Now, I'm not new to this parenting thing. I know how to handle a situation like this. You take a few extra minutes at night, have the child put their homework in their folder, their folder in their backpack, get their snack ready in the fridge, their shoes and coat next to their backpack, etc. By taking care of these things before bedtime, mornings should go a lot more smoothly. At least in theory.
However, even when I make sure these things are taken care of before bed, something happens while everyone's asleep because when morning comes, suddenly the contents of his backpack are strewn about the house and his shoes are nowhere to be found.
One time, Clay blamed it on the dog. We don't have a dog. He tried to convince me it was a burglar once. Yeah, you know those burglars who specialize in leaving all your valuables and just hiding your kids' shoes. Those kind of burglars. Maybe gremlins come into the house at night and rearrange his belongings. I don't really know what happens to Clay's things, but the other day, we couldn't find his coat.
However, even when I make sure these things are taken care of before bed, something happens while everyone's asleep because when morning comes, suddenly the contents of his backpack are strewn about the house and his shoes are nowhere to be found.
One time, Clay blamed it on the dog. We don't have a dog. He tried to convince me it was a burglar once. Yeah, you know those burglars who specialize in leaving all your valuables and just hiding your kids' shoes. Those kind of burglars. Maybe gremlins come into the house at night and rearrange his belongings. I don't really know what happens to Clay's things, but the other day, we couldn't find his coat.
Seriously Clay? How do you lose a coat? We don't have a big house. It has to be here somewhere! Did you look in your room? In the girls' room? Family room? My room? Bathroom? Well, I don't know why it would be in the bathroom either, but look anyway!
I finally gave up, put another hand-me-down coat (that mostly fit) from one of the older boys on him and sent him off to school. A few days later, I found his coat.
Tell me, how does one lose a coat outside in the snow? Wouldn't you notice if your coat had suddenly fallen off in the snow? Why would you purposely take it off while you were outside, IN THE SNOW? Don't you think you'd be a little cold? After walking inside with your boots, snow pants, mittens, and hat on, don't you think you'd realize that you were conspicuously uncovered on top? Wouldn't you remember you'd left your coat outside, and then head back out to retrieve it? I swear, I will never understand that boy.
22 comments:
Baaa haaa haaa - this is hilarious! It's even made me stop yearning for outside space for my kids to play in - now I will remind myself that it's one less place for them to lose things!
Have you considered a giant stapler?
haha, my then 9 year old managed to lose his coat on the playground last year - I found it the day after smelling of cat of course...
And lo, God said "Let her be confused," and gave her Clayton.
He keeps you laughing, Dawn, that's why you can never understand him. Even when you're rolling your eyes, staring at the ceiling and wishing God to give you patience and give it now, that little child inside of you is saying "Okay, that's funny!" or "Hee hee, creative Clay."
..Be glad he uses his powers for (mostly) good :)
Thank God! It's not just my family that this crap happens in!
Part of the problem is in the last word of your post: "boy." As you are well aware, there is no logic to the male species, even the young ones.
I feel your pain. I got one like that too. We have had the same gang of burglars here too. They also sneak into the house, eat junk food and leave the wrappers and empty boxes stashed in HIS room. The other day we couldn't find his shoes. It snowed that night. Guess what I found outside next to the trampoline? How does one walk in the snow in their socks and not notice they have no shoes on? I don't get it.
You always make me laugh, I just love reading your blog! =)
Must be the name, my Clayton is the same way!
Maybe he's part penguin?
I once lost a shoe that was in my backpack. Had 2 shoes when I left school, only one when I came back. Had it before I walked home from school, as I walked home it disappeared.
DO NOT discount it was aliens with their stupid beaming technology. I know that's what happened to my shoe. Maybe that's what happened to his jacket.
Ask Clay about this theory, I bet he'll back me up on this one.
Do you hear that aliens? We're onto you! And you better return our left socks too!!!
Stupid aliens!
I have a boy like that, and he frustrates me to no end. He can lose ANYTHING, and then not care that he is without the item. I was hoping since you have 3 boys you'd have some helpful suggestions for getting him to take care of his stuff. I have no cluewhat to do with him.
Oh, it didn't fall off, he took it off, because he was inside the play house, see, so he wasn't cold.
I can so see my 7 yr old doing that. He's never cold - he only wears a coat because the mean grownups make him wear it.
I have a 25 yr. old that loses his drivers license,wallet,keys.He broke a small back window of his own car cause he locked the keys in.And yes he has missplaced his car for a day or 2.So it doesn't get better,sorry. Oh will it be Clay or Brooklyn with a new "slinky" hairdo? LOL
My son lost his glasses for a couple months. On a crazy weird off the wall chance I happened to walk into the office the last day of school. Guess what was on the counter? Yep, his glasses. Not sure how long they had been there. Then the next school year he comes home one afternoon w/out his glasses. I ask where they are & he puts them on & one whole ear piece is totally gone. The screw fell out & it fell behind the bleachers at school in gym. I recruited some friends that happened to still be in school that day & they helped me search & we found the missing ear piece. I used a screw from an old pair of glasses. So it's not only your child. Just think about all of us looking for shoes the same time you are. Might make you feel better.
Love this! Boys will be boys! My husband is this kind of "boy" and I have a sneaky little feeling that our kids will be much like your Clay. =) This is too funny!
Any chance one of your daughters has an extra coat? Maybe the humility of having to wear his sister's coat might snap his memory into place or motivate him to hang it up where it belongs. Maybe this is wishful thinking, my son is only 2 - I haven't reached this phase, yet.
Boys will be boys!
My 12, almost 13, yr old does the same thing. He swears he left his shoes by his bed before he went to sleep. I find one in the dining room under the computer desk and one out in the yard. He lost his first pair of glasses in 24 hours. We never found them. He lost my new really warm ski gloves the first time he wore them. He can't remember anythinig unless it has to do with his favorite activities-playing the gameboy or playing pc games.
On the good side, he is very intelligent, creative and can make me laugh. Eventually he will grow up and be able to take care of himself. Or his wife will keep track of his stuff. :)
hahahahaha! I don't have a son, but my 12 yr old daughter will get mad because she can't find something, and one of us will help her look for it, and find it like right out in the open. Like she doesn't register that it is right in front of her face,lol.
Funny non-kid related story: I was blamed once for the state of disarray of someone's house. :) I was keeping tabs on a friend's house while she and her husband were visiting her family back home. She left about a week before he did, so he was left to his own devices for an entire week. When I went to check on the house, I found dishes with food in the sink, a dishwasher full of dirty dishes, half-eaten Burger King burgers and fries on the floor IN THE BATHROOM, toothpaste all over the sinks, counters, and mirrors...and the toilets: oh my Lord. You don't even want to know what had happened to the toilets. I felt that, in attempting to protect the livelihood of this man, I wanted to warn his wife of the house so she didn't commit murder upon returning home. She chose to not tell him she knew, but waited until they got home to see what he said. HE BLAMED IT ON ME. He said that I didn't like him, so I purposely destroyed his house to try and break up their marriage. Classic!! (But seriously...I'm female. Last time I checked, its pretty hard for a woman to pee all over the toilet seat, rim, and floor. I mean, that would take some real planning and preparation...especially considering I was 7 months pregnant at the time).
So your post about Clayton claiming a burglar came in brought back this rather "fond" memory of me apparently ransacking someone's house and making it dirty. :)
Don't guess this lost coat incident happened back when we had that fluke day of 50+ temps? Of course that would mean the coat has been MIA for longer than a few days....
My daughter lost a mitten today in what I believe is record time. Got out of the car, walked to the mailbox carrying both mittens. Got the mail, dropped a mitten. I picked up said mitten (didn't want the mail to end up in the snow) and followed her inside. I put said mitten on the coat rack with her coat. I have no idea where she put the mitten she was carrying. And an hour later when she wanted to go with to get her brother, she didn't know where she put her other mitten either. It was later found tucked next to dad's work bag. How it got there is anyone's guess. Maybe our house elves are back....
I am laughing because one of my daughters once lost a pair of shoes between the swimming pool locker room, where she put them on, and the van. We did not stop anywhere along the sidewalk and got right in the van. When we arrived at the store, she had no shoes. I figured she took them off in the van. No, they were not in the van. We retraced our steps and they were not between the parking lot and the locker room, not in the lost and found, and still, to this day (4 years later) they have not turned up in the van. She has no idea how they disappeared from her feet!
Then this past Sunday my youngest lost her shoes at church. It's not a big church, but she took them off (because I can't keep shoes on this almost 5 year old!) and we have no idea where she put them. She left shoe-less in January! Crazy, I know.
My 12 year old lost a shoe outside once. He had borrowed his brother's shoes and then took one off to play kickball, because EVERYONE knows you can kick better without a shoe on!? and then forgot to put it back on. It was never found again.
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