Monday, January 11, 2010

A Post About Nothing

So, I've been driving my older kids, who usually walk, to school because it's been so cold and snowy. Today, after dropping Austin off, I watched him walk into the school and I noticed something odd. He didn't swing his arms. He's like Molly Shannon when she was a guest on Seinfeld. "It's like she's carrying invisible suitcases." Seriously. I mentioned it to him tonight and asked, "What's up with that?" He kinda laughed and said, "Someone just told me that same thing last week!"

That started a whole debate on whether it was normal to swing your arms or not. That deteriorated into a demonstration of just how hard it is to swing your left arm while stepping forward with your left foot and to swing your right arm while stepping with your right foot. Don't believe me? Try it. I'll wait. (insert whistling) Back? See what I mean? You look like some deranged Frankenstein's monster while trying to walk that way. For extra fun, walk that way all day tomorrow. Walk that way down the aisles of Target, at work, walking to pick your kids up from school. It'll be fun. See how many people ask you if you're having medical problems and report back to me.

Anyway, I assured my son that I wasn't making fun of him (after I quoted Seinfeld a couple more times, that is. "Her arms just hang like salamis." "She walks like an orangutan.") I told him that it was no big deal because people have different styles of walking, but I was curious. I wanted to know if he consciously held his arms at his sides or if it came naturally to him to walk that way. He said it just came naturally to walk that way at school. His theory was that he needs to walk really quickly between a couple of his classes because they're so spread out and he tends to keep his arms straight when he's walking quickly.

Honestly, as he walked into school, he wasn't exactly moving at a sprint, however. In fact, he looked a little like he was heading to his own execution. His head was slightly downcast as he slowly made his way into the torture chamber that is high school.

Ever the scholar, still curious and wanting to waste time, I had to google this. I learned basically that scientists (after they got lots of money to research this, no doubt) have discovered that people tend to swing their arms when walking because it helps with balance. Wow! It's amazing what these scientists come up with. What would we do without that information? Oh, I know! We could spend the money that goes to idiotic research and use it for discovering cures to multiple diseases. Just a thought. But then we wouldn't be able to make fun of those who spend billions to study really important things like whether a pack of baboons could teach themselves how to drive a car, or what the best cereal to milk ratio is for the perfect bowl of cereal, or how badly does smashing your thumb with a hammer really hurt or can an armadillo embroider his name on a potholder. (You know the scary thing? Someone probably DID receive millions to study these very things!)

So, in the end, I learned that my son carries imaginary suitcases when he walks into school and there are a lot of scientists who get paid to research asinine things and that my blog, much like the earlier quoted Seinfeld, does not have a point. It's a blog about nothing.

22 comments:

Carole said...

Ah, it's not about nothing. It's about the every day - which is why we read your (and other) blogs. It's just too bad you're not paid loads of research money for what you do! (raise a family)

Lynn from For Love or Funny said...

But nothing can sometimes be a whole lot of something!

Holly C. said...

Oh my goodness, Dawn-you are a funny lady!

I just got Hubby the complete series of Seinfeld at Christmastime.

I was laughing my butt off the other day on the episode about 'shrinkage'!

Roni said...

LOL isn't it ridiculous on how some research money is spent. I remember reading just a few years ago... in Florida... there was a group of "researchers" that " discovered" a connection between sex and pregnancy. It may have been 7 or 8 years ago.. LOL

Tricia Freeman said...

Love your blog about nothing--Oh and "It's really and it's fabulous!"

Jen Singer said...

Dawn, you are a master at finding the funny in, well, nothing. Nice post!

Ellobie said...

But just think how frustrating it would have been to NOT find an answer on Google! And who knows, maybe it was just a little bit of money that funded their study. ;)

stephanie said...

There was a girl on my high school dance team that had to concentrate really hard NOT to swing her left arm with her left leg and right arm with her right leg. I'm sure she would love knowing that's what I remember about her.

Dawn said...

My step-son used to walk that way all the time. Like his arms were too heavy to move. Don't know if he still does. We don't see much of him anymore. All grown up and busy with his own life elsewhere. We used to just comment that it almost seemed like his brain didn't know where the ends of his arms were (he was growing so quickly then).

Dawn in MI

Tesa said...

I love blogs about nothing, they are generally the most interesting! :) Just so you know I did try to walk with swinging the same arm and leg, it was tough and awkward. How funny. I needed the laugh today, thanks.

dgmommie said...

My 15 year old son walks that way... very stiff, arms at his sides not moving.

Stef and Bry said...

Does he have hearing problems? Sometimes people with hearing problems have balance issues. (I can say this because my hubby is deaf and it is easy to knock him over sometimes) Just a thought...

Rhonda said...

Really great post. I love reading your blog, puts a smile on my face every time.

Robin said...

I have nothing to say...just this :)

Chris said...

I heard somewhere recently that walking with your arms held at your sides burns more energy than swinging them ... perhaps he's onto something here, hmmmm.

btw, congrats on a very entertaining blog!

Carissa said...

Ha ha. This made me laugh out loud I woke my baby up. I was reading some of the previous posts, and this is a Sunday shout out for Stef and Bry, How often do you try to knock your hubby over? Is it weekly or monthly? This would be handy in certain circumstances...

Misty said...

This post seriously made me laugh out loud. Your blog is a wonderful break from my own crazy life. Thanks for sharing your crazy life with us!

kimikki said...

Wonderful! I needed to read something that is about nothing and you made that a possibility! Really! I've got way too many things on my mind right now. Reading something like your blog today was an immense help! Thank you! (And, to Stef and Bry, is that even nice? ;0) )

Anonymous said...

I just had to comment on this...my 13 1/2 year old son walks the exact same way and it drives me crazy! I just don't understand why he doesn't swing his arms...even just a little bit. He looks so tall and skinny and goofy. :) I hope it is a phase he will grow out of.

Donna in NY

Michelle said...

But apparently even nothing can make me giggle ;) Now I'll be self-conscious about my arms the rest of the day *sigh*

Linda @ My Trendy Tykes said...

haha....your swinging arms conversation reminded me of something.

Ya know how those "power walkers" always swing their arms back and forth when they walk?

Is that necessary?
Do you HAVE to swing your arms in that manner to get the full affect?

I have tried.
I can not get the "ARM SWING" down pat. I CANT!

Maybe it's like chewing gum and walking....
Some people have it and some people don't.

Nicole DiPatri Sheldon said...

Just so you know, this entry made me call all 3 of my kids into the living room for an "experiment." I didn't tell them what it was for, but I made them walk back-and-forth across the room while I observed. They all swing their arms. Then I made them try to swing the right arm with the right leg and they looked like they were doing the Robot. That's hilarious!! My oldest son (who's 10) swings one of his arms more than the other, though. I swing my arms so hard when I walk that I've actually hit people before.

But when my daughter runs, she doesn't swing her arms. She does the whole carrying "invisible suitcases" when she runs. It's very odd.

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