Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Breakfast is Served!

My mom jokes around that she married the only Greek who not only doesn't own a restaurant, but can't boil water. I fear for my children's spouses and have vowed to teach all my kids how to cook. Well, I've taught them a few things and Alton Brown has filled them in on the rest. Honestly, my kids love to watch The Food Network. I think some of them aspire to set foot in kitchen stadium and become the next Iron Chef. Still, at this point in time, some of them could easily end up being contestants on The Worst Cook in America. Have you seen this show? The first show, a guy boiled a whole chicken, ladled a little spaghetti sauce over it and plopped a piece of Swiss cheese on top of it. Voila! Dinner is served. Anyway...

Today Lexi made toast.

Now, it isn't entirely her fault. Obviously someone had messed with the darkness setting on the toaster. But, for the love of toast, why is there even such a dial on a toaster??? How many people, do you think, purposely set their toasters to "char", "torch", or "ignite"? Nobody does this! No one! Not a single person in America likes their toast incinerated. I mean, look at the picture! That's WAY beyond scraping with a knife. There's no saving that toast. In fact, it's 10:00 at night and my house still smells like burnt toast. I really want to know if there's a purpose for the "toast doneness selector" and if so, WHAT? Why is this appliance manufactured with an option to completely destroy your breakfast? Inquiring minds want to know.

43 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ugh, my husband would like Lexi's toast. haha

Feisty Irish Wench said...

It's entirely feasible that you could put jelly on the bottom edge of the toast and hold yourself over till you make another round of toast. Otherwise, you have 6 kids. SOMEbody can spare a couple fingers or toes.

Nadia said...

my grandmas friend only eats his toast like this...the only thing I can figure is his mom was a horrible cook!! lol

plainprecious said...

My 17 yr old LOVES his toast burnt. Which leads to me burning any more bread that I put into the dang toaster. Which he loves beause then he gets MORE toast. Hes weird what can I say!!!

hot wave said...

It's for frozen waffles and pastry strudel.And,believe it or not,my youngest Son now 15,loved burnt toast.YUK,PEW.He would only eat the blackest part.Yes he is a normal,HA,15 yr.old.He's also very artistic like your Austin.Did he eat burnt toast?

Sarah said...

I've often wondered why toasters have a burn setting? Probably to satisfy those strange individuals, like my neice, who actually ask for burnt toast

tamrabeth said...

I am completely convinced that some things exist solely to make us ask why :)

Sunnyworld said...

Yuck! The smell of burned toast is really awful. Believe it or not, I once took over a job from a woman who really did like burned toast. Every morning when she came to work, she made burned toast on purpose!! The office smelled yucky all day long!! Maybe that's why she left and I was hired? lol

Donna said...

I know just what you mean about the toaster dial. I get alittle upset when someone turns mine to darker. I wish I had a lock on it. LOL

Anonymous said...

Because burnt toast is a CHEAP laxative! :)

Laura said...

I have to say, I've noticed that, at least around where I live, English muffins take an unreasonably long time to toast and I actually set the toaster at or near the highest setting just to get them to brown a little. It's quite odd. I don't know why they take longer to toast than bread. Must be the nooks and crannies.

Anonymous said...

I never understood why, but Mom would religiously turn the setting to "darkest" and when the toast was finished, scrape the brown char off with a knife. When I would ask her why she just didn't set the toast to a lighter setting, she would always reply, "I like it this way." I can't see how, but maybe being a child of the Depression had something to do with it.

When Mom died, I got that same toaster which she received as a wedding gift; it's still going strong.

Pat

Tanya said...

My husband will put the toaster on the dark setting when he makes his Eggo things. Makes me nuts because I always have to verify the setting before I can make toast.

D&S said...

I'm completely with you on that one - not only do my children LOVE to watch Food Network (which has resulted in an apparent level of higher standards for my cooking... as my daughter commented the other night "Mom, there simply isn't enough color variety or garnish on this plate!" SIGH...) Anyhoo... and our toaster only toasts pleasantly if it is set in a delicate balance between the second and third line on the darkness setting... just add it to the list of questions to ask God when we get to heaven, i guess! :-)

Mandy in SC said...

My husband and I laugh about that all the time! Our toaster can be set all the way to 6 but anything past 2 is burnt! WHY? Even Bagels are burnt if you set it past 2.

Anonymous said...

Because if there is no burn setting on your toaster your children might actually make something tasty to serve you thereby ruining the rule that any breakfast made by kids for you will be disgusting. Sigh. :) And to think I thought I was being NICE to my mom!:)

Joanna said...

I know a guy whose favorite snack is burnt toast broken into chunks, drowned in milk, and covered in pepper. How's that sound?

Brooke said...

My dad and husband both like BURNED toast... I know, it's a sickness. But they are always happy to eat the accidentally burned toast like Lexi made, so I suppose they serve their purpose :)

Jess in MI said...

My husband worked in product development at KitchenAid portable appliances and specifically on toasters. Here is his explination: The reason for the different settings is to account for cooking variances such as the type of the item (bread/bagel/toaster pastry), the consistancy of the item, the moisture content (freshness of item), and the altitude above sea level (which can impact cooking time).

Dana from Alabama said...

My mom routinely burns most everything because she likes it "crisp" (aka "charred"). Muffins are the worst, with a layer of black charcoal on the bottom. She also makes two pies for holidays, a burnt one and a regular one. I have vivid memories as a kid standing beside my mom at the toaster oven begging her to take out my toast/Poptart/anything before it got black.

I don't understand it either.

Lesley said...

Yum yum! I love toast done like this :)

Cookie said...

We have the "burnt" toast setting so that we can tell "People who can make toast" apart from "People who can't make toast."

Lyuda said...

I love the toast kind of burned! And burned onions...there is just something delicious about it. Maybe that's why toasters have that setting. To satisfy those few individuals that love the torched toast. :-)

Purple Quilter Queen said...

A.M.E.N!! Jenn

Lisa said...

my great grandmother ate her toast this way, and toasted it ahead then wrapped it in foil looking this way. She ate it with her scrambled eggs. Hence my offering my kids burnt toast and ovaltine for breakfast, but no takers yet.

It appears that Lexi is still doing ok with cooking given all the responses from people who like toast like this! Her talents are under-appreciated in her own kitchen though.

Anonymous said...

"dark" is only for Eggo waffles (which you can't find anywhere right now!) and english muffins. And for a brave few -- Pop Tarts! I personally think that it should automatically sense when bread is put in the toaster though - we've had the "essence of burnt toast" many times at my house too....

MommySusan1 said...

My grandma came to visit and she said she like burnt toast. It thought she meant dark, crispy brown. No, she sent it through two toast cycles so it would be black, black like your toast.
As long as she eats it, more power to her.

MaBunny said...

Our toaster does this too - not fun! At leas she tried! Our daughter loves the cooking channel too, but there is only so much of it that I can handle in one day!

Eileen said...

burnt toast? yuck, now burn me a hot dog and make it black, yummooo!

Anonymous said...

Have your kids ever read the book, Burnt Toast on Davenport Street by Tim Egan? It's a great book with beautiful illustrations. Reading your post brought me back to a field trip to see Tim Egan at a bookstore where he explained to the kids how many rough drafts he did before getting to the final copy of his book. Wow, that was eight years ago!

Anonymous said...

My mother has been married 8 times! I know.. Crazy :O We use to joke that she has a collection of toasters as wedding gifts. LOL Kristine in Michigan.

Wendy said...

Someone already mentioned English Muffins, but I use the darkest setting for bagels as well. They're so thick that a normal setting just doesn't do the job.

And no, I don't have a toaster oven. I want one badly. I dare say I may even covet one. But for now the lowly toaster makes due.

Anonymous said...

my mom loves her toast that dark, I'm dead serious, I know I don't understand it either but then again she's canadain....

Missy said...

Toast like that + hot sauce = great remedy for a hangover. No kidding :)

Marissa L. Swinghammer said...

Because they can? So many people at my church set the toaster to burn and scarf down charred bagels every Sunday. It is quite disgusting, but not as bad as when people do it to steak.

nutralady2001 said...

I keep my toaster on the "burnt" setting because I freeze my gluten free bread. I pop it in frozen and it comes out perfectly LOL

Jessica said...

I just made my daughter some toast for lunch (her request). She said, "Make sure it's really burnt, please." ??? I don't know. She didn't get it from me!

Hope you feel better soon!

Lisa @ Crazy Adventures in Parenting said...

My oldest has been trying to cook as of late. She doesn't burn toast, but... pretty much everything else. I've been eating tough food for about a week. I want her to learn, but, OMFGIWANNAEATNORMALFOODTOO {inhale, exhale}

dorthyinoz said...

This is how they serve toast in England. Totally confused me when I was there.

Anonymous said...

My dad loves it burnt, he puts his poached eggs on top! I say Yuck, but to each his own, right?

Michelle said...

Light: delicate bread that is already defrosted that you just want to have a light warming of and no color added.

Dark: You're toasting a frozen bagel. It takes this full temperature to adequately toast a frozen bagel. And sadly, I actually know this.

But woe betide the person in my house who messes with my settings without putting them back ;) Poor Lex!

Anonymous said...

Ah. Toast just the way I like it. Just add butter while the toast is hot and heaps of Vegemite and I'm in heaven. Sigh. Maybe it's an Australian thing...Bring on the nuked toast.

Molly said...

Hey Dawn,

This is for your Sunday Sound-Out

I would love to know if you do a weekly or bi-weekly menu? Do you use coupons? Budget out? Where do you grocery shop at? And what are your favorite meals to cook that your kids WILL eat? I only have 4 kids so this is so tough for me. You have a beautiful family btw. :)

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