Tuesday, January 6, 2009

An Angel Earns His Wings

I don't know how to say this, so I'm just going to copy and paste Peggy's words here.

Today the world may have cried a river of tears for a little boy’s life that ended way too soon, but we believe Heaven is REJOYCING over Coleman’s job well done.



Coleman was an amazing child of God and we were so honored to be chosen as his parents.

He left this world at 10:45 last night- he fought HARD until the very end, not wanting to give up, but finally letting go. He was a warrior and a hero our hearts will forever miss. We had the most glorious five years together- a gift we will never forget.

A quick story. :)

One day Coleman heard someone say they were mad at God. He didn’t say a word, but later came to me with this complete look of disbelief on his face and asked, “mommy? did you hear them say they were mad at DOD? WHY would they say that?” He couldn’t even fathom the thought. Then he raised his little eyebrows and said, “well, I hope they don’t say that in PUB-WIC (public)!” and walked away. He knew there were some things he could not change, but HIS faith never wavered.

Lots of people have mentioned their anger toward God …how can He let this happen when so many people have been praying for Coleman? Why didn’t he answer our prayers?

I just can’t be angry at Our God who sent Coleman to us in the first place. Coleman was a child of God, WE were chosen to be his parents- and how blessed we were. Maybe my feelings will change, but like Coleman, I can’t imagine being angry at God. Would we have loved to have had more time with Coleman? YES! I want him back right now, but I know that’s the selfish part of me talking. I know I will hurt more than I can ever imagine in missing him…and I know I will have MANY days of heartache and anger, but my anger is over the fact we live in a world where we can do so much, but still do not have a cure for this horrific disease. Children are paying the price for that. More on that will come-

I guess what I’m saying is I know for a fact, Coleman would NOT want us to be mad at God. He taught us so much in his time here. His lessons will go on for a very long time. He knew where he came from and he knew where he was going. My heart aches for more time, but I’m SO thankful for the time we got with him, and we know we WILL be with him again. God doesn’t always answer our prayers in the way we want him to…HIS ways are not ours, and that’s hard to accept, but true. It doesn’t mean I don’t question it- it’s hard to understand, but one day we WILL know.

Many people have asked how Caden is doing. Now that’s a long story, but we have assured him that we love him. He is dealing the best way he can- just like us.

I turned my desk Praying Parent calendar today, and thought I’d share what it said…
“We are dependent on God to enable us to raise our child properly, and He will see to it that our child’s life is blessed. One thing I have learned is that I should not try to force my own will on my child in prayer. I have found it is better to pray more along the lines of “Lord show me how to pray for this child. Help me to raise him Your way, and may Your will be done in his life.”
I believe God’s will was done through Coleman. I know it.

For those inquiring:
We will celebrate Coleman’s life on Saturday, Jan. 10th at 10:30 a.m. at Our Saviour’s Lutheran Church in Callender. Visitation will also be at the church on Friday the 9th after 4:00p.m.

Instead of flowers, we’d love donations made to
The Hospice House of Fort Dodge, Iowa
The Ronald McDonald House of Iowa City
or curesearch.org

We’d like to thank EVERYONE who has helped our family along this journey the past two and a half years. We will never be able to explain how much we appreciate the support for our Team. Our carepage family is the BEST!
To the hospice house- you will always have a special place in our hearts. You made the most difficult time of our lives one filled with love. Nadine and your staff, God bless you. I know Coleman would like us to thank you as well for making his last days as comfortable as possible for him- and for us all.

Here is one of my favorite pictures of Coleman…



God bless you baby. Coleman said long ago, "some day I won't need NO more meds or pokes, wight mommy?” No more sweetie. You are free.

One more story to share…thanks again Nadine.
The Parable of the Twins-



Once upon a time, twin boys were conceived in the same womb. Weeks passed and the twins developed. As their awareness grew, they laughed for joy, “isn’t it great that we were conceived? Isn’t it great to be alive?”
Together the twins explored their world. When they found their mother’s cord that gave them life, they sang for joy, “how great is our Mother’s love, that she shares her own life with us!”
As weeks stretched into months, the twins noticed how much each was changing. “what does it mean?” asked the one. “It means that our stay in this world is drawing to an end, said the other. “But I don’t want to go”, said the other, “but maybe there is life after birth.” But how can there be?” responded the other one. “We will shed our life cord, and how is life possible without it? Besides, we have seen evidence that others were here before us and none of them have returned to tell us that there is life after birth. No, this is the end.”
And so the one fell into deep despair, saying, “If conception ends in birth, what is the purpose of life in the womb? It is meaningless! Maybe there is no mother after all?” “But there has to be,” protested the other. “How else did we get here? How do we remain alive?”
How you ever seen our mother?” said one. “Maybe she lives only in our minds. Maybe we made her up because the idea made us feel good?”
And so the last days in the womb were filled with deep questioning and fear. Finally, the moment of birth arrived. When the twins had passed from their world, they opened their eyes and cried for joy. For what they saw exceeded their fondest dreams.

Author Unknown

OH OH OH I have to say too-
Dr. Woods from Des Moines and Dr. Gilheeney from NY who called us personally- GOD BLESS YOU! Our world needs more doctors like you. It means so much to us. We will never forget your compassion. Thank you.

Blessings to you all,
Nev-va Div up-
Team Larson

UTUBE is going to pull this video because of the song used, so I thought I'd try to post it and see if it's still viewable...Cman and his bunny foo-foo. That bunny helped him through many hard times, and he still twirled the ribbon even on the high doses of morphine. This is Cman's second bunny after he lost his beloved first. A story of LOVE...



And while I'm at it, Dante earned his wings this morning too.

And Joe's grandmother fell yesterday and broke her femur pretty badly. She needs surgery on her leg, but they haven't been able to do anything because apparently she'd been taking too much Coumadin and her blood is too thin. She also hit her head when she fell and has bleeding in her brain. They're trying to determine if she had a stroke which caused the fall.

Thank you for your prayers and good thoughts.

58 comments:

bb1983 said...

Dawn,
I'm a long time reader but rare commenter. After this post (and watching the video), I had to comment.
Thanks for sharing the story of this little warrior. Tears are flowing for that family but prayers of God's all-surpassing comfort and love flow even more. And my prayers are for Joe's grandmother and family as they deal with such a traumatic situation.
Blessings,
Bethany Pearce

Anonymous said...

God bless you C'man and Dante.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for posting. These families are real heroes. I have been praying for both of them.

Will be praying for Joe's grandma too.

Thanks, Dawn.

Sherry

Michelle said...

Oh I am so sorry to hear about Coleman. And Dante. And Joe's Grandmother.

Last year was a year of turmoil, financially and otherwise for so many. This year... honestly, this year I have had more death in the first week than in all of 2008. I can only hope that everything starts to turn up for everyone.

God Bless.

Feisty Irish Wench said...

Thanks for sharing. I was glad to read that prayer Cman's mom found because I needed it since I'm struggling with the challenges of a teenager. I don't see the cute little boy he was as much anymore, and I see someone moving into becoming a man, and I am having a devil of a time loosening my grip so he can fly eventually. But then I learn of someone becoming an Angel Mommy and I count my blessings that I have a teenager to cause me stress.

Vicki said...

So sad to see this sweet little people getting wings at such a young age. Just not fair.

Many prayers for Team Larson and Dante's family. Also prayers for Joe's grandmother.

Vicki in GA

Debbie in Kansas said...

Ok Dawn. I SOOO want to drive the almost 5 hours from Kansas City to attend the services for Coleman. (although I have never met the Larsons) But then I realized, the BEST thing to do, would be to get Mimi there for the services. I checked airfare (I think Mimi is in/near Dallas) and it is more than I can afford. Do you think we could take up a contribution to get Mimi to Iowa? That is, if Mimi is available to go? What do you think? I will be watching your blog for ideas and I'm ready to contribute.
Debbie

Dawn said...

Debbie,
That is so very sweet of you! I'm talking to Mimi right now and she's going to Iowa. Some readers of her Carepage were really generous and helped her out to get there. :)

Lisa said...

I had subscribed to Coleman's Carepage a while back. The last couple week or so, I've been almost scared to look at the updates, wondering if this would be "IT".

I can't fathom what they are going thru, but the grace at which they are facing this is so incredibly inspiring.

Jolene said...

Gosh...I just bawled watching that videa. Prayers to the family :(

Candace said...

I am looking through tears while typing this. I can't even imagine the loss they are suffering. They are truly inspiring people to be handling this with such grace. Coleman was a sweet wonderful and brave child. My prayers go out to the family and to Dante's family as well as yours for Joe's grandmother.

Our Family's Spot said...

I have been following Coleman's journey for a while - my heart aches for the Larsons. Cancer stinks!

We will pray for Coleman and Dante's families. We will also pray for Joe's grandmother and your family as well.

Blessings,
Kelly

beagle said...

I am bawling. Prayers for everyone.

Amanda said...

It took me two times to read through your post Dawn, because I could not see through the tears.

I am so sorry for the family's loss. :( God Bless them.

Mum - Mainly Upbringing Monsters said...

I opened up your blog, read the title and cried. Last I read little Coleman was airlifted to hospital. I can't belive he is gone. Such a sweet little boy & SO strong. We need to find a cure for this beast.
Our thoughts are with you. xoxo.

Susan (5 Minutes For Mom) said...

It is so heartbreaking!!! But yet, reading about his courage and is faith is amazing... what a little hero!

Martha said...

I cried twice yesterday when I learned that Dante and then C'man had earned their wings. My heart aches for their families.

I will continue to pray for the families, and Joe's grandmother as well!

Karli said...

I was so sad to read about Coleman this morning. I have no words other than I'm so sorry for his family and will keep them in my prayers. Thank you for originally introducing me to Coleman and his story.

Im sorry about Joes G-ma as well! I hope she gets well soon!

Kim said...

Oh wow! That really brought a tear to my eye! I'm sorry for your lost! Prayers are with me.

noexcuses said...

Thanks for posting Team Larson's incredible tribute. The video is so touching, and is so much more now. It almost takes on a double meaning.

I've left comments on both Coleman's and Dante's care pages, but I would never have been introduced to these wonderful families had it not been for you referring me to Julian's care page and Mimi, one of the most awesome prayer warriors of all time!

God Bless you, Dawn.

Amanda said...

Oh this hurts my heart! I feel close to Caden and Coleman, as I have twin boys the same age. I cant imagine how Caden feels, I know my boys cant make it a day without each other.

Prayers going up for the Larson family, Dante's family, and your family, Dawn!

Andrea said...

Poor Coleman's and Dante's families. Our prayers and thoughts are with them. Thank goodness they are in a better place than we are! :)

Noah's blog said...

I feel just horrible, I read about Coleman last night after I got home from work. I cannot imagine the pain and grief his parents and his brother must feel.

Jennifer in Boone, Iowa said...

Dawn, I read Coleman's obit in the Ft Dodge Messenger (my hometown paper) and immediatley came over here. Here's the link if you'd like


http://www.messengernews.net/page/content.detail/id/511842.html?nav=5011

Thank you for sharing his story.

May he rest with God now.
Prayers going out to their family at this time.

Jennifer (Boone, Iowa)

Randee said...

I just had to comment...I follow both Dante and Coleman's stories and that they earned their wings within 24 hours of each other is heartbreaking. I pray both the memory of Dante and the memory of Coleman are only for blessings.

MaBunny said...

Oh wow, I just saw this post on Michelles blog too, and I am still crying. Hope all goes well in your family too Dawn. Prayers are being said too.

Anonymous said...

Like others here I am a daily (OK, many times daily) reader of your blog, but have never commented. I have been following the Larsons as well, and cried and cried last night when I read Peggys update. What a strong & brave family! The bunny video was so precious and I am sad beyond words for the loss of Coleman. Prayers for Dante & his family as well...
Life often seems so unfair.

I hope Joe's Grandmother comes through her medical crisis,and that you guys aren't stressed out too much by everything. Your fanastic family will also be in my thoughts.

Kristen in California

Theresa Rose said...

As a recent follower of Dawn's amazing blog, I had never heard of Coleman before today. What a beautiful child.

After reading this blog and watching the video, my heart is full, my eyes are wet, and my faith is strong.

Coleman is a lucky little boy to have taken his brief journey with such an amazing family.

God bless you!

Julie Sturgeon said...

Sigh. Sometimes life isn't funny, is it? That's when we all learn the real meaning of trust in God.

My condolences to the family and everyone whose lives Coleman touched.

Polly & Steve said...

I am new to your blog, I found it round about.....I was so touched by Coleman's story, I would like to know more. I will pray for his family and for you. I am sorry to hear about Joe's Grandmother, it is hard when you get older.
God Bless you and yours.
Polly and Steve

Emilee said...

Dawn, thank you for posting this. I usually come to your blog for a good laugh but today this was the perfect message. I am currently pregnant with twin girls and just learned that one of the twins will not likely survive long after birth. It was good to read about another mother of twins who lost one but was grateful for every second she had with her special angel and somehow is able to keep going. Thank you.

Jen Cato said...

Oh my...

My condolences to Coleman's family and Dante's family. God Bless them all. We're praying for you guys and Joe's grandmother, too. I wish you all the best.

Jen from IL

Ashley said...

I'm so sorry for their loss of Coleman. That video was truly touching and brought tears to my eyes. May he now be at peace.

Denise said...

I lost my husband almost 3 years ago, which was SOOO hard to go through. But to lose your child...

Her faith is amazing, yet I found in the midst of tragedy faith is all you have left.

God bless Coleman's family.

Tina in Ohio said...

I am always so in awe of the strength of the mothers who have just lost their little ones. Coleman's mother is amazing. Her faith is admirable. God is good.

I am reminded of something a friend once said, that helps me keep perspective in the good and difficult parenting times: These children of ours belong to God, not to us. It is our privilege and responsibility to take care of them and help them learn to know, love, and serve Him, until He sees fit to call them home.

My prayers are with all who are grieving.

Tina

Candi said...

My heart aches for the Larson family and I continue to hold them in my prayers, yet there is Joy for the wonders Coleman is experiencing at this very moment. To be painfree and in the presence of the Lord all at the same time must be nothing short of exhilarating. God Bless you little man for the courage you showed all us old fogies! We will miss you, but you left us something we will never forget - we will never "div" up.

Robin said...

Thank you for keeping us posted on this amazing fighter and his family. So sad.

I hope Joe's grandmother is okay soon. Please let us know how things are going.

Valerie said...

Our hearts and prayers go out to the Larson. I am so inspired by the family and the strength of their faith.

marythemom said...

I read recently (no idea where),

God is not taking him, God is receiving him.

I have not lost anyone close to me, but I found great comfort in this distinction.

Mary in Texas

Tiesha said...

Dawn,
This post just broke my heart a little more last night. See, yesterday we buried my sister-in-law who had lost her 5 year battle with cancer at the age of 29. Knowing in my heart what this mother is feeling tears me up. It's such a hard fate for such a little person. But he sure sounds a lot like Tracy. An unwavering faith in the Lord until the very end. May he rest in peace in the arms of our Savior.

AlaneM said...

Dawn thank you so much for introducing me to these families. You first sent me to meet Jullian & through his journey I've met many other kids fighting this battle. I've found my cause with these kids, I'm committed to telling everyone I know about them & what they go through. I'm so passionate about getting awareness about the research funding issue & that September is childhood cancer awareness month.
God bless you!

plainprecious said...

Dawn,

Its stories like this that make me realize jsut how lucky I am. I have 5 children ages 20 to 4 and I face daily struggles with raising them. I sat last night crying so hard after reading your post and thanking god for my beautiful wonderful kids. Thank you for sharing these stories of the brave little souls and their parents. My prayer is that God continues to bless them in knowing that those kids are now part of heavens angels. Thank you Dawn for setting me straight!!! Love ya Elisabeth

Anna said...

Thank you for these precious stories. I know, that if such a time may come for me, I will find comfort in these words and Coleman's laugh i will always remember. I will include him in my prayers as well as Dante and Joe's Gran and I hope that God's Blessing may reach all of them.

Vivian M said...

What a sad post, may Coleman and Dante rest in peace and may their families find comfort. I cannot fathom outliving my child.
I hope Joe's grandma gets well soon, how scary.

Anonymous said...

My thoughts and prayers are with all the families. I cried just reading the header. I am inspired by their testimony to our Lord and the fact they can give one in their time of grief. Truly amazing. My heart aches for them.

Amy said...

I couldn't post a comment after reading this because I was so filled with emotion. I feel for the parents of Coleman and Dante over the unthinkable loss of their children. Our prayers are with them.

What a sweet video...such sweet innocent love. Such a nice tribute to Coleman, too.

Thanks for this post. Love ya,
Amy

Michelle said...

My heart is breaking for Coleman's family. I have no idea the strength it takes to go through this. It seems so unfair to take one so young. At least his test is complete, and I have no doubt that he passed with flying colors.
My thoughts and prayers are with them during this hard time.

Anonymous said...

Dawn,
Thank you for "introducing: me to Julian and Mimi last year, which has in turn brought me to so many other wonderful children and families. I have cried more this past year then ever before, the journal entries are all so moving. C'man was incredible, as is Peggy, Scott and Caden, and I recently came to Dante's site, and that darling boy won my heart, too. Hard to believe they've both moved on in the journey of life. Thanks for posting the info here, and opening my eyes to others' suffering and needs.
Laura G, , C.O.L.E. PRAYER TEAM

Kristi said...

I am so saddened by the loss of these two beautiful boys who died well before their time and I didn't even know them. I followed their stories on their carepages and cried when I heard they both died so close together. God Bless and Rest in Peace Dante and Coleman. You will forever be angels to us all.

Prayers also going out to Joe and his Grandma.

Anonymous said...

Mimi is the reason that I found Coleman and you. These sweet families have changed my life & made me more aware of the awful beast that roams our country stealing these babies. So unfair--it must be stopped!! My prayers are with the Larson family & Dante's family. May God wrap his loving arms around them and comfort them.

Heather said...

So sad for Peggy, Scott and Caden. I'm weeping and I only knew Coleman through his Carepages, so I can't imagine how his family are feeling.

But such joy and release for Coleman!

Emilee - praying that there might be a miracle for your little baby girl, and that you'll have strength and grace and peace.

Heather (in Scotland)

Anonymous said...

Dawn,

My prayers are with Coleman and Dante's families. May God rest their souls and watch over all of them.

My prayers are also being sent to your family for the quick recovery of Joe's grandma. I hope everything works out okay. Please keep us posted.

Donna in PA

Jessica said...

I have been reading your blog for a long time. I don't really comment much though, but this blog really hit me hard and makes my heartache. My 2yr old son has cancer. He's doing well now, but it is still so very scary. It makes me even more thankful each day for how well my little Bubba is doing.

These families are in my thoughts and I totally get the "no more pokes and no more meds." My son asks the same things all the time and trys to tell me he doesn't need his chemo because he is feeling good. He knows so many medical terms that no 2yr old should ever have to know.

caringbridge.org/visit/littlebubba

* TONYA * said...

Absolutely heartbreaking. What a brave, determined and beautiful little man Coleman was though.

Rest in peace boys. You definitely earned your wings.

I hope Joe's grandmother will be okay. My grandmother had a fall about 12 years ago and hit her head. She also had bleeding of the brain and they didn't expect her to make it through the next couple of days. She did and is still with us today. It was a long road to recovery including intensive therapy to learn how to do EVERYTHING all over again but she made it.

Ragdoll Billie said...

Being a close follower, and growing friend of Peggy, I still was not ready to get the news, and when I told my husband, it caused him to stop where he was, what he was doing, and he said, "What? No!"

I invite you to read my tribute to Coleman because my very first thought was picturing in my earthly mind, my forever 16 y/o son who should be 40 now, welcoming Coleman into Heaven. Robert always took time with the little kids, and I've wondered if God wanted him there to welcome and play with them. Whatever. It makes a mom's mind and heart feel at ease, and I've read here that moms are wanting, are needing a way of fitting the horrors such as this into their lives with their children. It had always been a fear of mine, and I found peace.

A Warrior gets his wings

Prayers, Dawn for Joe's grandmother. I did not see this the first time through, and I understand completely as you know.

Ragdoll Billie on the Road to Remission

Shellie said...

I just can't stop thinking of poor Caden right now. Not that I don't think of their parents, but pulling the rug out from under a 5 year old twin and making him a singleton? My heart just aches for him.

B.L. Ochman said...

Thank you for sharing this story - and for letting his mom tell it in her words.

What a beautiful little guy Coleman was!

My thoughts and prayers are with the family, and especially with Caden. d I hope he will find some comfort in seeing these photos and videos one day when he's older.

reesesob said...

Dawn, I read your blog as often as I can and today I am trying to do a little catch up. When I came across this part of the blog, my jaw dropped. It is shocking to me how small this world really is. I have been following the carepages for Coleman and Dante through my son's classmate Nicholas' carepages. It make me so sad to see these kids having to go through so much! Thank you for sharing and celebrating Coleman and Dante's lives!!

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