Someone Owes me a Whole Lotta Backpay!

First off - thank you, thank you, thank you to all the people who wrote and said, "What does LDS mean???" I don't feel quite so stupid now. It stands for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, otherwise known as Mormons. Mormons are typically known for having large families which is why people were asking me if I was LDS. See - you come to my blog, you learn something everyday. Now when you're out with adults and the topic turns to religion, you can say, "Boy, those LDS folks sure have a lot of kids," and you'll sound all smart-like. ;) If the topic turns to politics, you're on your own.


Someone recently emailed me an article about stay-at-home-moms. The article stated that if stay-at-home-moms were paid for all that they do, their yearly salaries would amount to $131,471. Wow! Could you imagine bringing in a six figure income for changing diapers? Not that I don’t love being paid in dirty laundry, messy bathrooms, dandelion bouquets, and sloppy kisses, but seriously - six figures!

I believe the writer of that article estimated a stay-at-home-mom’s salary based on the idea that she was caring for one child. I have six children - well, seven if you count my husband. I think that would bump my salary up a bit. Besides being the cook, chauffeur, day care teacher, maid, nurse, general maintenance worker, tutor, shopper, boo-boo kisser, errand runner, project manager, accountant, bug squisher, and laundry doer (I have no idea what you call someone who does laundry. Other than MOM, that is), I am a Sunday school teacher and a brownie leader. That’s got to worth a little bonus, I imagine.

I think we should be getting tips on a daily basis as well. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve picked the kids up from school, only to have my children thrust their backpacks at me whining, “This is too heavy. Will you carry it?“

“Well, my darling child, that would make me a bellhop and I believe the going rate is $2 a bag.”

“Oh you want me to make you a snack? No problem. I’ll play waitress. You can just tip me 20% of your bill.”

And this is no ordinary 9 to 5 job. We’re on call 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. We get no sick time, vacation time, or personal days.

My husband doesn’t understand this. Now I’m not saying the grass is any greener where he stands. He works a lot of hours only to come home and hear me complain that he’s never home. When he’s here I complain that we don’t have enough money to pay our bills. The poor guy’s stuck between a rock and well, me. But the thing he doesn’t fully understand is that although he works a ton, he gets a paycheck at the end of the week. He gets an evaluation every year where he’s patted on the back for a job well done. He gets kudos on his handiwork on a regular basis. It’s nice to get positive feedback for the hours you put into your work.

I have yet to hear my children say, “You’re doing an awesome job, Mom! Keep up the good work!” or, “Wow Mom! This laundry smells so clean!” or, “If you keep this up, you’ll be getting a raise!” And the phrase, " Amazing! I’ve never seen the toilet sparkle so!” surprisingly enough, has never been uttered in my house. Although I know I’m doing an important job, it’s nice to be told so once every ten years or so. From now on, when I’m feeling useless, I’m going to remember that I’m really earning a six figure salary, but opting to take payment in kisses.

I don’t think moms who work outside the house have it any better either. They have to go put in their 40 hours a week and then come home and do all the “mom jobs” too. So, to ALL the underappreciated, overworked moms out there - “You’re doing an awesome job! Keep up the good work and if you’re lucky, some day you may just get a promotion to the position of Grandmother!”

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Oops - I have to add an addendum here. The Teletubby pictures were courtesy of my husband and my husband alone. My boys did not, I repeat did NOT turn themselves into Teletubbies. I was misinformed last night when I wrote that post. My husband doing that makes much more sense to me. I couldn't imagine my boys doing something like that. I could see them putting their faces on Star Wars characters and then drawing a background of lightsabers and decapitated heads covered in blood perhaps, but definitely not Teletubbies. Just had to clear that up.