Let's Play Dolls

Brooklyn asked me to play dolls with her like she regularly does. I have to admit that I usually just kinda hold a doll, jump it around the house a little and get bored. I mean, I can play dolls with her for hours, but after the first five minutes, it's SO boring not entirely enjoyable. But today, I got into playing dolls. Perhaps a bit too much...


"It's Monday. The kids were home all weekend, so naturally, the house is destroyed. Time to clean. La la la la la, whistle while you work...I'm going to make the beds and straighten up the bedrooms because a clean room is a happy room."



"Time to clean the bathrooms. It's amazing how disgusting those bathtubs can get. How DO those bathtubs get so gross so fast?"



At this point, Brooklyn interrupted me to tell me I wasn't playing the right way. "Mooom, she doesn't clean the bathroom. She puts on makeup to get ready for her date."

"Wow, you really have a good imagination, Brooklyn!" I said, impressed. Then I went back to my way of playing.

"I need to pull the curtains down to wash them since someone didn't want their pasta and ended up flipping her plate against the window while throwing a fit because I dared to feed her something other than chocolate milk and peanut butter."



"Next, it's time to dust the entertainment center, scrub the marker off the TV, and vacuum up the weekend's popcorn extravaganza."



"Oh, I think I hear the kids coming home from school now! Hi guys! How was your day? Do you have any homework?



Great, well you do your homework while I get dinner started."



"Hey kids, dinner's almost.....



.....what on earth have you guys done to the family room?!?!?!"



"Seriously? Seriously??? You've been home for one hour! ONE! Who put the milk by the TV? Why are there cupcakes on the couch? A boogie board? Why in the world did you guys bring the boogie board in here?! Put the kitchen chair back and clean up this mess. NOW!"



"Oh yeah, I love bedtime. Ahhhh, I'd get another rum and Coke, but I'm too tired to get up."



Brooklyn stopped me again. "Moooom, that's NOT how you play dolls! You have to take the kids to Chuck E Cheese. You don't make them clean up. You're not playing right."

Clearly, my kids have better imaginations than I do because no matter how hard I try, I can't fathom putting on makeup, going on a date, and taking my kids to Chuck E Cheese.

But, on the bright side, I think I've gotten out of playing dolls with Brooklyn for a while.

WOLF! WOLF! COME QUICK!

I'm feeling a bit like the boy who cried wolf. Except I'm not a boy. And I didn't cry wolf. I cried, "Turn on your VCRs because I'm going to be on the news tonight!" For those of you, who tuned in, thank you and I'm sorry it didn't air again tonight. For those of you who missed it, well, you didn't actually miss it after all.

My toddler had been running around like a monkey on fire all day. Why is it that a toddler (and this really isn't exclusive to toddlers) can sit there watching TV, looking at a book, or playing with a toy and then suddenly, as if they were just poked in the butt with a pitch fork, they'll jump up and scream and take off like a shot? It's as if, out of nowhere, they become possessed and turn into raving lunatics for a few minutes (or hours, if you're so lucky.) The sweet child who was intently watching a video two seconds ago is now running through the house at warp speed and yelling in a foreign toddler language at the top of his lungs. Is this just a stress reliever? Is it to fight boredom? I think I'm going to try this the next time I'm at a boring PTA or church meeting. I'm just going to jump up in the middle of a dull speech and run across the room screaming, AAAAAAAEEEEUEUUURRRRGHGHGIIIIEEYYYYY!!! That should give everyone the proof they need to send me away for a nice long vacation in the nut house.

It wasn't just my toddler acting like a wackadoo today. My baby had to get in on the act too. She never stopped whining which wasn't so bad until she attached herself to my leg so I had to drag her everywhere I walked. Still, it was fine for the first, oh say, five hours and then I snapped. "That's it! We're getting out of here!" We headed to the library. I'm not sure about the kids, but I needed a change of scenery. I was obviously not getting any writing done at home anyway.

So, I went to the library this afternoon and bought my very own water damaged copy of Just Going to the Dentist. I joke that I've paid enough fines over the years to finance a new wing at the library. Today I walked in to see that they really are doing construction on the building. I knew it!

At the library, we picked out a few new books to buy borrow, then the kids hit the play area while I sat down to people watch. So often, I'm in a hurry when I stop at the library or the park or wherever. I feel like I'm forever telling my kids, "Not today. Not now. We're in a hurry. C'mon let's go!" I was so happy to be able to sit down and relax and give the kids something new to play with and let them have fun exploring the different toys. I had no plans of leaving until it was time to pick the older kids up from school. Then I smelled something. The baby had picked that time to fill her diaper. No problem. I'll just change her diaper and....oh no. I didn't bring any diapers with me. No diaper bag at all. No purse. Just my library card and my keys.

I make fun of the new moms who pack the entire nursery into their diaper bags just to go for a walk around the block. Well, here I am with nothing. I've been packing diapers for almost thirteen years straight and yet didn't think to bring one today. I could either stay there, let them continue to play, offer the other patrons gas masks, or I could disappoint them again and drag them home. I dragged them home with the promise that we could play at the park when we picked the older kids up from school.

Remember to always, always pack a diaper (well, I guess you don't have to do this if your kids are in high school). And remember to sometimes curb the urge to say, "Not now. We don't have time," and replace it with, "Let's play!"