Moms of the World Unite! :)

WOW! In regards to Mr. Plagiarism (yes, I'm assuming it's a man. Sorry to my men readers. ;) , I have never received such an outpouring of outrage! I did report it to Ebay right away. Thank you to Annjanette and her husband who first alerted me to his auction. I was laughing so hard reading some of your irate comments about this person. Hee hee - talk about sticking up for a girl! You guys ROCK! Thank you!

You're welcome for the Vitiligo link. I just knew I put it in there for a reason.

The "supposeably" comment made me fall on the floor! "Supposeably. Supposeably? Supposeably." Anyone know what that's from?

A lot of you guys asked me if I kept a diary. Well, I don't so much keep a diary, but I do have seven chapters of stories like the auction one. I've been compiling them in my spare time for almost two years. Sooo, that means you guys won't have to wait too long for a book!

Anyway, I just wanted to say a huge THANK YOU to all of you for sticking up for me! :::sniff sniff::: I'm so touched!

Oh yeah! I almost forgot! I did an interview for the St. Petersburg Times for any of you in FL. I believe it will run in Tuesday's paper. I'm also doing an interview for Fox19 Morning News in Ohio for any of you out that way.

Crying Tears of Joy

I HAVE to share these. I've received several letters like these, but these were the only two I could find without spending a month going through my saved mail. I cried when I read them. I bawled! I really don't want to sound like I'm tooting my own horn, but I am so happy that I've been able to do this. To brighten someone's day like this.


Dawn, I'll keep this short as I know you are busy.

Not only do I want to say "Thanks" for making ME laugh - but more importantly - THANK YOU FOR MAKING MY SISTER LAUGH !!!

She has been going through one of those marriage ending episodes (don't worry, I'll spare you the details) but for the last month - everytime I talk to her she has been crying. UNTIL TODAY - someone forwarded a copy of your auction and blog today and she forwarded it to me. Before she did, she called me LAUGHING and said I had to read this.

I can't thank you enough for bringing a little laughter into my sister's life today.

Very grateful,
XXXXX

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normally, i'd never email but tonight it's a must. i feel compelled to share with you. i have 5 kids 12, 10, 8, 6, 4....breastfeeding seemed to have spaced them that way......ha.....that and my hubby's deployments.....he's a Marine and in iraq since jan. so, tonight i was absolutely ready to LOSE it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i was in tears after the kids went to bed.......really bad evening......and sitting here wondering what am i doing??? what kind of mother am i and how am i raising my children???? and no, i don't beat them senseless or anything......just let them get their way waaaayyyyy too much i guess. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!! somehow typing that makes me feel better.......i had just emailed my husband to tell them what an evening it's been, feeling kinda guilty for having to send that from the homefront. anyway, i was going to delete the fwd (your ebay thing) that i got from a friend because i just don't have time for it........and popped it open anyhow. even though i am totally wiped out and it's a school night it was too good so i had to check out your blog......

now you have me sitting at my computer in a full on cry.......all i have to say is that God led me to your crazy blog.....crazy and so beautiful. hooray for another mom out there with the greatest perspective on things. you really gave me my jolt that i needed to put my boots back on and get back to the joy and humor that i seemed to have misplaced, along with my purse in the past few hours. thanks. your life is cherished and appreciated. you're really great. like i said, i never read these things but i'm so thankful i did tonight. i know that God answered my prayer through you and my smile in my heart is back. thanks for getting me through a really rough night. God bless~ XXXX

Doesn't it make you cry?

Robin Williams on Speed

LOL! Look at my buddy map at the bottom of this blog! Three days ago it looked like it had the chicken pox with a few scattered red dots. Now it looks like someone shot it and there's blood everywhere! Red dots all over!

I've gotten so much mail and oh my gosh - some of them were so funny, I about wet MY pants! You guys crack me up! I know I said I'd post some of the comments on my blog, but I've received nearly 10,000 emails and honestly don't know where to start! I want to apologize to all of you who have taken the time to write, compliment my writing, share your story, or ask me a question. I just cannot respond to all the mail I'm getting. This will probably all die down in a day or two and then maybe I can get back to all of you. Please don't think I'm ignoring your questions and requests. It's just that I can only read so fast and now and then I have to change a diaper and throw my kids some food. (Notice I didn't say vacuum or dust or anything even remotely related to cleaning?) My house looks like it's been lived in by grizzly bears. Smelly grizzly bears looking for food after hibernation.

Today was the second day of school and ordinarily I'd be ecstatic that the gang is back in school. In fact, I've been known to do a little happy dance of joy on my kitchen table the first day of school. What can I say - some moms meet up for coffee the first day, I dance on my kitchen table. So, usually, I'd be thrilled. Today, however my oldest daughter woke up and said she was too sick to go to school. It's the SECOND day! You can't pull that yet! Not until at least November! (Actually, she does have a sinus infection and an ear infection and I know she wasn't feeling too great.) My oldest son got ready for school like he usually does.
ME: Are your teeth brushed?
AJ: I don't remember.
ME: You don't remember if you brushed your teeth?
AJ: Today?
ME: YES TODAY!
AJ: walking off to brush his teeth
ME: five minutes later Are you ready? Did you brush your teeth? Do you have your backpack? Got your lunch?
AJ: staring at the t.v. which should really never be on in the morning
ME: Hello?
AJ: What?
ME: Are you ready to go?
AJ: Yes.
ME: I look at his feet and notice he doesn't even have shoes on.
I give up. And of course, he forgot his lunch. IT'S THE SECOND DAY! :::sigh:::

Anyway, I got him to school, came home to get the other kids up and going. This is my six year old's first year of going to school all day. She, much like her mother, doesn't do mornings. She slept until 10:00 or 11:00 every day this summer. It's been fun getting her up the past two days. That kid can sleep! It's like she's coming out of anesthesia every morning. My nine year old, on the other hand, jumps out of bed before the sun and is wired for sound. This is my kiddo with ADHD. He takes medication so he can function in school. His teachers love him. And why wouldn't they? They get Dr. Jekyll. I'm left with a veritable Mr. Hyde in the morning before his medicine kicks in and in the evening after it wears off. Actually, he isn't so much like Mr. Hyde as he is like Robin Williams in his Mork days. No, that's not quite right either. More like Robin Williams on speed. Robin Williams in his Mork days on speed. And sugar. And caffeine. Lots and lots of caffeine.

If you're wondering, I've gotten several offers from publishers because of this auction. I've been emailed by people at C-Span, Nickelodeon, a radio station in Tampa, The St. Petersburg Times, Fox 19 Morning News, and several others. Someone asked me to do a podcast. I don't even know what a podcast is! I don't know what to do with all this so I think I'll run away and hide under a rock for a while.

Oh yes - I thought this was starting to die down a bit, but I just checked my stat counter and apparently I've had over 94,000 hits today. I just can't even conceive of a number that large.

OK it's time for me to go to bed and lay there awake all night freaking out about all this attention. Have a good one everyone!

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Addendum: I've been corrected. Knott's Berry Farm is NOT, I repeat NOT in San Diego. Several insulted Californians pointed out my grievous error. :D

Also, a few of you said that you think you went to high school with me. You probably didn't, but that's ok. I always think I went to school with the people in those Classmates.com ads.

Someone just suggested I find a way to use this "fame" and add to my family's income. You have no idea how awesome that would be. Believe me. We live paycheck to paycheck and we're usually a month behind. Kids tend to do that. I don't have the slightest clue how to do this. Anyone? Anyone? Buehler?

The Answer Is...

Today I've had 77,000 hits to this blog. :::shaking head::: It blows my mind.
I stopped counting after the first three thousand pieces of email I received today. Although the auction is over, people are still leaving me tons of comments through Ebay.

Time for a little more question and answer - the part of the show where you ask me questions and I answer.

YOU: How old are you?
ME: Would you believe 29? No? My kids don't buy it either.

YOU: Did you grow up in New York?
ME: Nope. Although my three year old says "coffee" like his godmother (and much like Coffee Talk's Linda Richman) on Long Island.

YOU: Was the picture of you as a kid sitting by that statue taken at Wisconsin Dells?
ME: Nope, it was taken at Knott's Berry Farm in San Diego.

YOU: Would you like a job listing auctions on Ebay?
ME: Oh gosh no!

YOU: Do you homeschool?
ME: Are you outta your minds?! I know there are many benefits to homeschooling and kudos to all you who do (and from what I've read, there are many of you), but I really don't think I could give my kids a better education than what they're receiving in school. Oh yeah - and then there's the fact that I hardly have the patience to help them with their homework.

YOU: Are you a professional writer?
ME: No. I'm a professional diaper changer. I didn't go to college. I've never taken any writing courses. I actually wrote up that auction in about a half an hour.

YOU: How many kids are you planning on having total?
ME: Two.

YOU: Can you tell us how you made that cake?
ME: Yes. I'll write it in the comments under the cake post. It might take a day or two before I get to it.

YOU: Your husband must really cherish your sense of humor.
ME: I try not to let him see it for fear that I'll lose all power if he thinks I'm a pushover.

YOU: In reference to the picture of my three year old in the Stitch costume with the Darth Vader mask How can that poor kid see to walk?
ME: That poor kid has never walked. Ever. He runs.

YOU: Are you always sarcastic?
ME: I'm never sarcastic.
During a parent/teacher conference when my oldest was in kindergarten, his teacher told me, "Aj has an interesting sense of humor. He's sarcastic. Kids this age don't usually "get" sarcasm." Blushing guiltily, I replied, "Umm yeah, it comes from his father."

YOU: Would you consider doing a reality t.v. show?
ME: NOOOOOO! Are you kidding? You guys think I have patience now. If there were cameras following me around all day, you'd see that I lose my cool and yell at my kids on a regular basis.

YOU: Can I put a link to your auction/blog on my blog?
ME: Of course! From my stat counter I can see where people are coming from when they visit my blog. Although there were several from digg, fark, and reddit yesterday and this morning, they seem to have left and now I'm getting all these hits from mom's groups. Lots and lots of mom's message boards and parenting forums and such from across the world.

YOU: You're invited to join our group. Please stop by.
ME: I would love to join all your wonderful groups, but alas I don't think I could possibly find the time to contribute anything. When things settle down, I will stop by though.

YOU: Do you really shop at the Target on Randall in Algonquin?
ME: I have no idea where this is. I'm not sure where everyone got the idea that I shop there. I guess all the packages of ground round with fingerprints in them.

YOU: Which do you dislike more - taking your kids to the grocery store or to the post office?
ME: Yes.

YOU: Alton Brown had Kool Aid pickles on his show and they're big here in Mississippi. Have you ever tried them?
ME: Are you serious?! You EAT these?

YOU: You should be on Oprah.
ME: ROFL ROFL PIMP!!!!!!!

::::::::::drumroll::::::::::

And the number one question from YOU: Did the person who won pay you for the cards?

ME: Well, funny thing about that. The person who won the cards was actually a friend of mine! She changed her Ebay ID so I wouldn't recognize her. She has five little ones under the age of eight and her husband is in the military so she often has to go it alone. Now she understands how a grocery trip can drive you to drink. She wanted them for posterity and for the laugh. And yes, she popped a check in the mail so Paypal wouldn't take a cut.

And a couple of my favorite quotes from your mail...

"I have been mostly dead all day."

"It's inconceivable how a person could not like that movie!"

In reference to the woman with the kids who always behave perfectly "Her kids only behave because they're afraid of being beaten by the stick that's up her butt."

In reference to parenting "The days are long, but the years are short."


I want to apologize because apparently I've made a lot of moms wet their pants today. I'm sincerely sorry from the bottom of my heart. Having six children myself, I know what it's like to have to cross your legs when you laugh or sneeze. I will put Incontinence Warnings on my posts from now on.

I also want to thank all the military folk out there. So very many of you wrote to say that your husbands were deployed and you were going it alone. Thank you to your husbands for serving and protecting! And thank you to you for going it alone so they can serve and protect.