So, What's For Dinner?

I looked over at Savannah who was writing something in a notebook. "Whatcha writing? Is that homework?"
"Yeah. We're supposed to write down everything we eat for the week."
"Ohhh. Is that for health class?"
"Yep."
"You're making up stuff, right?"
"Huh?" Savannah looked up at me, confused.
"You're not writing down what we have really eaten for dinner this week, are you?"
"Yes," she answered innocently.

Crap! Why did I ever teach my kids that lying is bad?! I obviously never thought that one through. I glanced at her paper. Listed almost every day for breakfast was "a handful of Cheez-Its". Yeah, that's nutritious. Nothing gets your day started like highly processed, fake cheese flavored crackers. Vitamins? Nope. Minerals? Nah. Fiber? Not really. Protein? Notsomuch. Partially hydrogenated soybean and cottonseed oil with TBHQ, yellow #5, yellow #6, and monosodium glutamate? Check!

I continued past Savannah's nutrition packed breakfasts to dinner. I've had a less than stellar week in the cooking department. Her list read...
nachos
chicken pot pie
double cheeseburger from McDonalds
grilled cheese sandwich
pizza
taquitos
lasagna

Oh yeah, that looks great. I envisioned Savannah's health teacher being so shocked and appalled by Savannah's menu that she'd soon be sending me a packet filled with 5 pounds of nutrition information including menus, charts of vitamins and minerals needed to support development, and a BMI calculator. I was sure she'd soon be calling me to discuss the importance of the food pyramid (which, by the way, did not exist when I was a kid. We didn't have any pyramid. We had the bread group. Cookies and cakes were part of this group. We had the dairy group. This included milkshakes. We had the fruit and veggie group which included French fries and strawberry-banana smoothies. And finally we had the meat group which contained cheeseburgers.).

"So you don't want to write baked salmon, steamed asparagus with a lemon drizzle, herbed new potatoes and a cup of fresh pineapple for dessert? OK. OK. It's ok. How about we just add some details then? It's not really lying if you're just adding details, right? Here we go..."

Nachos: made with low fat corn tortillas, fat free beans, low fat cheddar, tons of lettuce and tomatoes and NO greasy beef, sour cream or high fat cheese

Pizza: made with a whole wheat crust, fresh plum tomatoes and basil, and a sprinkle of part skim parmigiana cheese and NOT sausage and greasy pepperoni

Lasagna: made with whole grain pasta, lean ground turkey, ricotta, and spinach and NOT Italian sausage and 6 pounds of cheese

Double cheeseburger from McDonald's: made with, umm, made with, hmmm, ok, I got nothin' here.

Every time one of my kids has brought this particular project home from school, it's been a fast food/quick-what-can-I-throw-in-the-oven kind of week. Every time! Why don't teachers give us a head's up and let us know that every bite our kids eat is going to be analyzed so we have time to stock up on healthy foods that we never ordinarily keep in the house be prepared?!

Oh and I thought I had a most wonderful idea for curbing my late night sweet tooth attacks! My plan was to make myself a cup of wonderful, sweet dessert tea in the evening when I got a craving to munch on something sweet. So, tonight I put my plan in action. Mmmm Sweet Coconut Chai Tea with a little milk and sugar. It's like a dessert, right? I sat down and inhaled the spicy, coconutty aroma and felt the steam on my face. I took a sip of the rich, creamy goodness. And then I decided that the tea would go much better with a cookie. So much for that plan.

Paula Deen Does Not Have to Worry About Losing Her Job

First I have a shameless plug for my auction running on Ebay right now. Check it out if you have a minute. Click to watch this auction, and write me a comment if you're so inclined. Thank you!

My kids love to watch The Food Network. They enjoy trying out new recipes. Many times we've pulled an Alton Brown, Rachel Ray, or Paula Deen recipe off Foodnetwork.com and worked together to make it. Other times, however, my kids decide to come up with interesting concoctions on their own. Today my 12 year old son made donuts. At least that's what he said they were. In the process, he managed to melt my slotted spoon.

I thought you said the oil was 300 degrees?

It was! I think. I'm pretty sure. Wait, did you say three-hundred?

I wish I had taken a picture of my kitchen before I helped him clean up. It looked something like this.

After that my 3 year old broke a picture frame. How, you ask? He scaled the wall, Spiderman style, and knocked the frame off the wall.

A little later in the day, my 6 year old innocently closed the back storm door and a pane of glass fell out.

Such is a day in the life of me.

Mmmm appetizing, no? Light, fluffy buttermilk donuts with a dusting of cinnamon and sugar. Or something like that.

My poor slotted spoon