Thursday, June 3, 2010

How I Single-Handedly Made the Hawks Lose

004 I guess I should apologize to all the people of Chicagoland, for it was I and I alone who made the Hawks lose last night. Don't believe me? Ask my son.

My eleven-year-old son, Jackson plays hockey. He's the Niemi of his hockey team. He's obsessed with the Blackhawks, begging me to let him stay up late to watch every game. If he could, he'd grow a play-off beard, but since he's only eleven, he just lets the dirt accumulate on his face. And he wears his Blackhawks jersey. A lot. As in, he's worn the same shirt to school, around the house, and to bed for four days in a row. How did I not notice this until today? I have six kids. I'm happy when they're all wearing clothes. I'm not too picky about what clothes they wear. I don't even notice it when my four-year-old puts on a tutu, pink cowboy boots, and a fireman hat. And I don't notice it when my son wears the same shirt four days in a row. Until that shirt starts to smell.

Yesterday morning, I picked up on the funk that was emanating from his beloved Hawks jersey. "Hey, didn't you wear that shirt yesterday?" I asked my son in horror.

"I've been wearing it all week," he answered as if there was nothing at all wrong with that.

"What? Seriously? That is so gross! Take it off right now and let me wash it!" I demanded.

"I can't! It's lucky!" he argued.

"No, it's smelly. Now change your shirt! I'll wash it today. You'll have it back in time for the game tonight," I promised.

"No way! If I take it off, the Hawks'll lose!" he said in a genuinely worried voice.

"Jackson, I don't think you're so powerful that you can make the Blackhawks win with your wardrobe. But your shirt's that powerful (powerfully stinky, that is)! Now change!" I insisted.

I really didn't understand his reluctance to have me wash his shirt. Do you have any idea how many times I've found clean, folded clothes in the hamper simply because he was too lazy to put his freshly laundered clothing in his drawers? It makes me blow a gasket when he throws clothes he hasn't even worn back into the laundry basket. Like I have nothing better to do than to wash his clothes twice in a row! But he didn't want to let me wash this shirt even once.

"NOW!" I demanded.

He finally caved, but with these parting words, "If the Hawks lose tonight, it'll be ALL YOUR FAULT!"

So, there you have it. Because I didn't want my son to be "the smelly kid in class", I made the Blackhawks lose. I promise to let him stink it up for game four. You know, just in case the shirt really does have magical properties.

24 comments:

Andrea said...

Gawsh, Mom. How could you?!?!

Anonymous said...

Thank you, Dawn!!!!! As a big Flyers fan, I have to ask you to please lose that shirt for the rest of the series!!! ;o)

GO FLYERS!!!!!!!!!

Donna in PA :)

Andrea said...

Ah - so it was you!!

Well I guess you learned your lesson. Sorry if Jackson has to be smelly on Friday but please don't wash the jersey again! This is our year!

Andrea in Crystal Lake

Joy said...

I live in Philly, so I have to say THANK YOU!!! And if you just happen to lose the shirt, that would be fine!

Shawn said...

Wait, you need a special reason to wear the same shirt several days in a row?

Jessica said...

Ahh!!! I can't believe you washed it. I was wondering who made the Hawks lose. I keep telling my boyfriend how awesome Niemi is and about how much the poor guy has to put up with. "Just think of all the ones he *does* save, though!!" He's not buying it and keeps being mad at Niemi when a goal goes in. Now I can just tell him that it's all Dawn's fault. I'm sure he'll understand and have pity for you. Go Hawks!!

Kelly Stoeber said...

Are you sure he's been wearing clean socks & underwear too? Those who are sports superstitious have a tendency not to change these items either. :)

Tracy said...

Thanks a lot Dawn! lol I feel his pain though, back in 2005 I wore my Sox jersey from opening day until the last game where they won the world series without washing it, not every day of course, but to every game. I finally caved and washed it and look at how they have played since!

jdb in AZ said...

At lesat he doesn't have a girl friend who's a fan of the Phillies. When the Suns lost to the Lakers our Suns son lost a bet to his girl friend and had to wear a Laker's jersey to a bbq. We "encouraged" him to spill sauce on it and/or "accidentally" burn the thang.

Jen@Scrapingirl said...

WOW!!! You are one talented momma!! :)

Megryansmom said...

I'm not going to share this post with my husband, he already thinks because you're Greek you had something to do with THE GOAT!

Jennifer in Wisconsin said...

Be kind. It was my husband's fault because took his jersey off during the game. :)

4boyz4me said...

Gee, if I'd only known I would have been paying you to wash it during their series against the Sharks. All hail the power of the washing machine!!!

WeaselMomma said...

Please wash it again today.....Pleeeeaaassseeee.
Go Flyers!

Spuds said...

I think it's silly that you would allow your son to influence you into believing that washing the shirt made the "Hawks" lose. You really should PROVE to your son that the dirty shirt "thing" is just "hogwash" by washing his jersey at least once per day... twice a day even. That will show him!

Go Flyers!

Kathy said...

Sounds like my 11 year old who wishes he could have on his Penguins jersey! The passion of 11 year olds towards their teams is sweet in a way.

Regina said...

Maybe shrink that thing in the dryer!
I am from Philly, and my husband will not allow anyone to wear Flyers clothing or use Flyers glasses, mugs, etc. when the game is on. He insists on watching the games on the 13" TV in our kitchen "because they win when he watches there". So I guess they don't outgrow those superstitions!
By the way-
LET'S GO FLYERS!

Chris@Knucklehead! said...

Seriously, never tempt the Hockey Gods. I can't tell you how many goals that I personally have scored against the Kings (my favorite team) just by saying, "Hey, it's the third period and Quick still has a shutout going."

I really should know better.

Anonymous said...

Ha! Meanie MOM! Isn't that funny how that works? Mine is six right now, so I am heading towards that drama with my boy. I. Can't. Wait.

I am a long-time reader but have only commented a few times. I think you're just great and look forward to years of new blogs and books. I am sorry for my grammer, I am sure it sucks.

Carla
cbryant2@unl.edu

MaMaMeg said...

I sit and read this blog entry as the Flyers just scored their 4th goal in game 4!! Let's Go FLYERS!!!

cakeburnette said...

shoot, did you wash the thing AGAIN?

Nicole M, Delaware said...

Dawn- we are a house full of FLYERS gear right now- and my husband needs to make sure everything stays the same for each game- Hockey fans are REALLY funny about things like washing clothes, beards, and who is invited over to watch the game- always same as the last WIN. GO FLYERS!!!!!!!

Amy said...

SSO- I'm sure this was asked before but I missed it if so. Do you plan out your meals or no? If you do do you grocery shop weekly or biweekly? How much do you spend? Just curious how you do it with 6. :) Oh, and where do you grocery shop?

Anonymous said...

All's well that ends well, eh?

Becky

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