I get emails every day asking me how I'm doing. Or more specifically, how I'm handling the divorce and being a single mom to six kids. How am I handling the divorce? Well, that part isn't fun. The negotiating back and forth for months, the lawyer fees, the constant fighting and going back to court just to get the minimum amount of child support (still working on that) sucks. When you get your soon-to-be-ex's bank statements and see just what he's been spending all the child support money on, it's a kick in the gut. I really can't wait for all of that to be over. It's stressful. I feel like I can't totally move on and put that part of my life behind me until I have that signed document saying it's over.
But being a single mom to six kids is no big deal. Things haven't changed too much around here, other than the fact that I only get a little break from the kids once a month or so. Still, I'd much rather have it this way than the way Joe has chosen which is to not see the kids at all. It's hard when the kids all need to be someplace at the same time, but we've learned to relax a little. If one kid is late for baseball, the earth won't stop revolving. It's okay. If we miss one activity, it's not a big deal. Life goes on. And I have the most awesome group of friends! I know my friends would help me out anytime they possibly could and I can't thank them enough!
Honestly, when you're in a crappy marriage for more years than you can count, divorce isn't such a horrible alternative. I feel good about myself and my kids. I know I can do this on my own. Or well, notsomuch on my own, but with the help of God who I wholeheartedly believe is looking out for us, and with the help of my friends. I can't imagine ever having a healthy relationship and loving someone enough to be willing to change and compromise in order to make a new, blended family. But it happens every day. I know people do it. And although I can't quite imagine it now, I do have hope for the future. My kids are amazing (you know, when they're not beating each other over the head with pool noodles, or covering every conceivable surface with colored chalk), and they motivate me to be a better person. I want to show them that they can always, always, always count on me and that I'll never leave. I want them to see the glass as half-full because no matter what you're going through, there is always someone in much worse circumstances.
So, to answer your questions, I'm doing well. The kids and I are doing really well. And we have hope for good things to come. :)