Whoever heard of jaw pain being a symptom of a heart attack? When I think of heart attacks, I picture an old guy, clutching his chest and dramatically staggering around the room before collapsing. Apparently women tend to do things weird when it comes to heart attacks. We get nausea, or back pain, or pain in our jaws, or other weirdo symptoms that don't scream heart attack. The problem with that is too many of us fail to seek medical attention in a timely manner because we don't even realize we're having symptoms to a potentially life-threatening situation. Now you know. Anyway...
So I called the doctor's office this morning and talked to a mean, nasty nurse.
"I had some chest pain last night. It was the fourth time I've had such pain in the past month. My back and jaw also hurt."
"What's your name?"
"Dawn Meehan. M-E-E-H..."
She cut me off with, "Spell your last name!"
"As I was saying, M-E-E-H-A-N"
"In what area was the pain located?"
"In the middle."
"There is no middle jaw! It's either your LEFT or your RIGHT!"
"Where did your chest hurt?"
Did you have shortness of breath?"
"It's either YES or NO. Did you have shortness of breath?"
I answered a few more questions for Miss I Haven't Had My Coffee And I'm Terribly Constipated Nurse. She told me someone would call me back and hung up.
A few minutes later, my doctor himself called me. (He's awesome and makes up for his nasty, mean nurse.) Long story short - sounds like I have cardiac symptoms and even though I don't meet the profile, he's gotta rule out heart attack. You know, because if I keeled over tomorrow, I'd have at least 20 disappointed readers. Although, after going over more symptoms I've experienced this summer like nausea, heartburn, and waking up in the middle of the night to throw up, he's thinking it may be reflux or something gallbladder related. The whole throwing up thing is my biggest concern because unlike most people, I don't think, "Oh if I could just throw up, I'd feel so much better." Oh noooo. I'm the kind of person who says, "Oh please God, I'll do anything, ANYTHING, just keep me from throwing up! I'd rather die than throw up! PLEASE!!"
I had an exam and a chest xray today and I even refrained from dumping a box of laxatives in nasty nurse's coffee cup while I was there. Tomorrow I go for a stress - echo. Oh yay, people will get to see me attempt to walk on a treadmill without falling over. (Not because I have heart problems, mind you, but because I'm so darn out of shape.) Maybe I should bring my video camera so I can capture myself on film as I fly off the back of the treadmill. I'm sure to acquire footage worthy of America's Funniest Home Videos.