Friday, September 4, 2009

Ways to Brighten up a Boring Day

I was going through some old blog drafts and found this one. I got this in a forwarded email and thought it was hilarious. I have no idea who the author is, but thought I'd share it with you since it made me laugh out loud (and made me want to work in an office!)

in the office...
Run one lap around the office at top speed.
Ignore the first five people who say “good morning” to you.
Phone someone in the office that you barely know, leave your name and say “Just called to say I can’t talk right now, Bye.”
To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.
Leave your zipper open for an hour. If anyone points it out, say “Sorry, but I really prefer it this way.”
In the middle of a meeting, suddenly yell out “YAHTZEE!”
Walk sideways to the photocopier.
While riding in the elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.
Say to your boss, “I like your style”, and shoot him/her with double-barreled fingers
Babble incoherently at a fellow employee, then ask “Did you get all that?, I don’t want to have to repeat it.”
Page yourself over the intercom (do NOT disguise your voice).
Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle.
Shout random numbers while someone is counting.
At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem. (Extra points if you actually launch into it yourself.)
Walk into a very busy person’s office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch off/on 10 times.
For an hour, refer to everyone as “Bob.”
Announce to everyone in a meeting that you “really have to go do a number two!”
While an officemate is out, move their chair to the elevator.
In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter “Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!”
At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce “With God as my witness, I’ll never go hungry again!”
In a colleague’s daytimer, write in 10am: “See how I look in tights.”
Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask “Do you wanna swap?”
Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: “Do you hear that?
“Never mind, it’s gone now.”
Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, “I can’t talk about it.”
Speak in an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc.) during a very important conference call.
Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet paper from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.


homemoma said...

this is a sure trip to loony-bin

Cheryl said...


You had my family in stitches this morning. I had to leave the room because I couldn't breathe I was laughing so hard!

Everyone needs a good laugh and this is perfect. Thanks!

Missy said...

Oh how I needed this laugh today! Thanks for the great start to my Friday :)

Lynn from For Love or Funny said...

These ideas will definitely brighten up a boring day!

Angela said...

Oh my gosh! Too funny!

On Stage said...

This is hilarious!! I am actually crying! I am going to forward this to my husband who is stuck in meetings all day!

Cher at said...

Although I have seen this one before, I still laughed my a** off. It's just too funny. In fact, I think I'll try one of them out at the office today! Thanks for the smile Dawn!

Marsha said...

I think my hubby and sons have actually done a few of those.

Elleah said...


Lisa said...

I am so doing this to my FAMILY here at home, they are going to think mom has LOST it for sure this time!!!!!

Jen said...

At my last job before being a SAHM, the office had a bunch of those indoor ficus trees. I used to put them in the doorways of people offices and cubicles when they weren't looking.

Wendi said...

Thanks for the good laugh!! I was almost crying, just sitting here by myself reading these! So funny! :D

Jessica said...

This provided my daily hysterical laughter. Thanks! =D

Amanda in Durham said...

TOO FUNNY!! I don't know that I'd be able to pull any of these off without DYING, though - they're hilarious. :-)

Praise and Coffee said...

I love them! Thanks!!

Anonymous said...

I did the toilet paper from your pants things when I was a director at a child care center. The four and five year-olds loved it. I enjoyed watching them all laugh and acting like I was embarrased about it.

Anita said...

This made me laugh out loud! I love these. Thanks!

marythemom said...

ROFLOL!! Thanks I needed that!

I posted an "at home" version on my blog

Mary in TX
Mom to biokids Ponito(10) and his sister Bob(13)
Sibling pair adoptive placement from NE 11/06
Finally finalized on Kitty(14) on 3/08 - 2 weeks before her 13th birthday!
Finalized on her brother Bear(16) 7/08. He turned 15 the next day.
" Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain."

Cheryl said...

After reading today's blog, I went over to your Popular Posts and started to run through them randomly. When I got to An Author Gets Her Start, I was crying with laughter. My husband kept looking across the room at me with an irritated expression and just couldn't help making snide remarks. I got a wee-bit loud, I'll admit.

Thanks for the memories of your early writing and the running commentary.

Anonymous said...

I can't stop laughing.....I reread it and laughed harder!!! Thanks I needed that!

Totally Desperate Mom said...

Thanks Bob.

Tammy said...

Yeah. Funny. I've worked with people who do these things (unintentionally) and it gets old fast. ;0)

Lee said...

Wow!, that just downright hilarious :-).

Jen said...

ROFL... I remember the office days and I would have done a couple of those just to lighten the mood. ;)


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