Friday, September 26, 2008

Another Fun Diet Plan

Although I can't seem to stick to any kind of healthy eating plan for more than a week at a time, I'm nothing if not dedicated to helping my readers lose weight.


My cupboards were pretty bare one night when Austin was looking for a snack of some sort. He ended up with this. No, it's not a placenta. It's a can of cranberry sauce. He had a couple bites and decided he wasn't that hungry after all.


Something that spewed from Linda Blair's mouth? Nope. It's the homemade split pea soup I made the other night. It tasted much better than it looked.


Here's another tasty way to lose weight. Just munch on a pool noodle. Low calories and extremely filling.


Or instead of eating your fries, drop them on the floor of my car.


Then make a mud pie on the picnic table that Joe just cleaned with bleach water.


You know it's probably not a good idea to smear mud all over the table, so take Mom's Mr. Clean Magic Eraser and clean up your mess with it.


Wash it all down with a cool refreshing glass of water and sand.


Then, instead of eating your turkey, make a creative Halloween mask out of it.


The Amazing Lunchmeat Man! Da-da-da!

Follow my handy diet tips and you'll be thin and svelte in no time. Of course, you'll probably be extremely sick too, but being thin comes with a price.

27 comments:

Manic Mom said...

Your kids look like they're ready to audition for the PHantom of the Opera! Love it!

Robin Brodeur said...

Hey Dawn...Just as I was struggling against late night Weight Watcher munchies I knew I could count on your blog to snap me out of them. Thanks for the help resisting!!!!

Dolly said...

Dawn-my kids want to know if they can eat lunch at your house! They love mud milkshakes and Halloween turkey masks :)

Rick said...

That's a price that this fat boy is not willing to pay.

Thin may be in, but thick is for Rick.

Megryansmom said...

Thank you for that wonderful diet plan post. I have now lost my appetite. I'll guess I'll have to check back three times a day for a few weeks, I'll let you know how that goes.

Nat said...

HYSTERICAL need to get me some of that diet!

Debbie Yost said...

My 3 year old grabbed an old french fry out of the car seat the other day (I know, you have no idea what it's like to have old french fries in your van) and ate it. The look on her face was priceless. I wish I would have had my camera!

chantal said...

Too cute!! Sounds like my house!

Candi said...

Look at it this way - when you have kids who can make their food out of anything, and anything out of their food, they'll never want for anything.

Jen said...

Do your kids ever take a bite of something, decide it's gross, spit it out and then hand it to you? My 2 year old does this all the time. I wish he'd just feed it to the dog. I'm 25 weeks pregnant with a baby girl and his chewed up discards make me nauseous.

Patois said...

Blech. Yeah, I'd be sick a lot under this diet plan. Thanks for the great tips.

mommeeof9 said...

Your kids are really silly, just like mine. Good job, mom! Let them be creative.

Tammy said...

I think you accidentally included a picture of the floor in MY van...the stains look oh-so-familiar.

Brenda said...

Hmmm. Could work. I know I'm not hungry. Maybe everytime I get the munchies I can come look at this post!

Brenda

Madness' Mum said...

Hi! I found you by Googling parenting blogs, and I'm very glad I did! Six children! Wow.

Thank you ever so much for sharing dietary tips. I think a mud milkshake for breakfast every morning will cure me of this terrible habit I have of eating.

Robin said...

You're kids are so silly! I love it!! They make me laugh and I'm glad you have your camera ready and waiting to capture it!

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

Oh, gross - thanks a lot - as if I don't see enough of that here in my own house. I'm still trying to figure out how the petrified french fry ended up in my knitting bag.

car1224 said...

So funny. I always love the mud pie ideas that the kiddos come up with!

KLM said...

not to go off subject, but your blog quit working in my google reader. weird. i hadn't had an new post from you since...the 23rd or something. the more i got thinking about it, the more i realized that you would not go so long without posting, even if it was just to say 'hey my internet went kaput or something'. so put on my detective hat and figured out my reader isn't reading your blog :( and it still won't, sadness. but i'll still come by your blog to find out what you and your munchkins are up to.

Farrah said...

I just wanted to stop by and tell you that because of your new diet plan, I finally lost my last 20...LOL

Donna said...

I love home-made split pea soup, but I often find myself apologizing to guests about the way it looks.

pocketfulsofsunshine said...

I love using the food as a costume mask. I should try that. Maybe I'd lose weight if I wore it instead of ate it. I'd be a trend setter too.

Lisa said...

The Split Pea soup look AWESOME! Yum!

I've done the cranberry can thing.... I can relate to that one.

OMG... LUNCHMEAT MAN is HILARIOUS!!!!!

Karla with a K said...

OMS ROFL! "No, it's not a placenta."

Glad you said what it is, cuz I never would have guessed THAT!

So ... do you also have the pool noodles without the pool, or have I missed something? Pool noodle is my 5 yo's favorite snack lately, too.
Thanks!!

Anonymous said...

Eating placenta is all the rage, you know. They say it tastes like liver. 8-)

Michelle said...

Mmmm yummy! I also throw in some of the foam off our mini-jumper. It adds a bit of color to the blue foam diet.

And sadly... my mom likes to eat the cranberry sauce from the can. By itself. Yuck! Then again, she also eats cottage cheese with canned peaches and spaghetti noodles. No wonder she weighs next to nothing!

Lishak said...

I love your kids! They are very creative. :P

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