Wednesday, August 22, 2007

The Answer Is...

Today I've had 77,000 hits to this blog. :::shaking head::: It blows my mind.
I stopped counting after the first three thousand pieces of email I received today. Although the auction is over, people are still leaving me tons of comments through Ebay.

Time for a little more question and answer - the part of the show where you ask me questions and I answer.

YOU: How old are you?
ME: Would you believe 29? No? My kids don't buy it either.

YOU: Did you grow up in New York?
ME: Nope. Although my three year old says "coffee" like his godmother (and much like Coffee Talk's Linda Richman) on Long Island.

YOU: Was the picture of you as a kid sitting by that statue taken at Wisconsin Dells?
ME: Nope, it was taken at Knott's Berry Farm in San Diego.

YOU: Would you like a job listing auctions on Ebay?
ME: Oh gosh no!

YOU: Do you homeschool?
ME: Are you outta your minds?! I know there are many benefits to homeschooling and kudos to all you who do (and from what I've read, there are many of you), but I really don't think I could give my kids a better education than what they're receiving in school. Oh yeah - and then there's the fact that I hardly have the patience to help them with their homework.

YOU: Are you a professional writer?
ME: No. I'm a professional diaper changer. I didn't go to college. I've never taken any writing courses. I actually wrote up that auction in about a half an hour.

YOU: How many kids are you planning on having total?
ME: Two.

YOU: Can you tell us how you made that cake?
ME: Yes. I'll write it in the comments under the cake post. It might take a day or two before I get to it.

YOU: Your husband must really cherish your sense of humor.
ME: I try not to let him see it for fear that I'll lose all power if he thinks I'm a pushover.

YOU: In reference to the picture of my three year old in the Stitch costume with the Darth Vader mask How can that poor kid see to walk?
ME: That poor kid has never walked. Ever. He runs.

YOU: Are you always sarcastic?
ME: I'm never sarcastic.
During a parent/teacher conference when my oldest was in kindergarten, his teacher told me, "Aj has an interesting sense of humor. He's sarcastic. Kids this age don't usually "get" sarcasm." Blushing guiltily, I replied, "Umm yeah, it comes from his father."

YOU: Would you consider doing a reality t.v. show?
ME: NOOOOOO! Are you kidding? You guys think I have patience now. If there were cameras following me around all day, you'd see that I lose my cool and yell at my kids on a regular basis.

YOU: Can I put a link to your auction/blog on my blog?
ME: Of course! From my stat counter I can see where people are coming from when they visit my blog. Although there were several from digg, fark, and reddit yesterday and this morning, they seem to have left and now I'm getting all these hits from mom's groups. Lots and lots of mom's message boards and parenting forums and such from across the world.

YOU: You're invited to join our group. Please stop by.
ME: I would love to join all your wonderful groups, but alas I don't think I could possibly find the time to contribute anything. When things settle down, I will stop by though.

YOU: Do you really shop at the Target on Randall in Algonquin?
ME: I have no idea where this is. I'm not sure where everyone got the idea that I shop there. I guess all the packages of ground round with fingerprints in them.

YOU: Which do you dislike more - taking your kids to the grocery store or to the post office?
ME: Yes.

YOU: Alton Brown had Kool Aid pickles on his show and they're big here in Mississippi. Have you ever tried them?
ME: Are you serious?! You EAT these?

YOU: You should be on Oprah.
ME: ROFL ROFL PIMP!!!!!!!

::::::::::drumroll::::::::::
And the number one question from YOU: Did the person who won pay you for the cards?
ME: Well, funny thing about that. The person who won the cards was actually a friend of mine! She changed her Ebay ID so I wouldn't recognize her. She has five little ones under the age of eight and her husband is in the military so she often has to go it alone. Now she understands how a grocery trip can drive you to drink. She wanted them for posterity and for the laugh. And yes, she popped a check in the mail so Paypal wouldn't take a cut.

And a couple of my favorite quotes from your mail...

"I have been mostly dead all day."

"It's inconceivable how a person could not like that movie!"

In reference to the woman with the kids who always behave perfectly "Her kids only behave because they're afraid of being beaten by the stick that's up her butt."

In reference to parenting "The days are long, but the years are short."


I want to apologize because apparently I've made a lot of moms wet their pants today. I'm sincerely sorry from the bottom of my heart. Having six children myself, I know what it's like to have to cross your legs when you laugh or sneeze. I will put Incontinence Warnings on my posts from now on.

I also want to thank all the military folk out there. So very many of you wrote to say that your husbands were deployed and you were going it alone. Thank you to your husbands for serving and protecting! And thank you to you for going it alone so they can serve and protect.

315 comments:

1 – 200 of 315   Newer›   Newest»
Victoria said...

Wow 77,000 hits! You rock! We loved the listing over at www.chicagomothers.com!!!!

A girl from california posted it on a Tastefully Simple board, you had TS moms all over laughing!

Lady J said...

No questions for you, I just wanted to say you are one amazing woman to have 6 kids and still maintain a sense of humour. (sarcasm rules)

Jon Ellen Mackerelle said...

*sigh* the incontinence warning made me wet my pants. Thank you for this wonderful blog. It makes me think better of physically harming my husband when he asks me how my day was when we have a teething 5 month old.

Trina said...

You should also post a "contraceptive warning"! LOL! I don't have any children [yet], though I have a niece and nephew who sound terrifyingly similar to your grocery store outing descriptions. Your ebay sale + my current experience really has me considering how fit I might be to raise my own!

Seriously, though, your auction was one of the funniest things I've read lately! I shared it with my own long-suffering mother, and my sister (and SIL) and a few other people I thought would appreciate the humor even better than I did. You are a brilliantly funny writer, and I hope you keep it up! Your kids are lucky to have a mother like you.

Semi-aside: I don't think any child is too young to learn to appreciate sarcasm. My 2-year-old nephew already uses it occasionally (much to the chagrin of we adults around him who have been guilty of exposing him to it)!

Kendra Field-Bennett said...

Congrats on the new found fame! So many emails, I wouldn't know where to start. :) I've only got 3 kids (ages 4, 3, and 2) but try to blog often as well. Thanks for the laughs!

http://field-bennettfamily.blogspot.com/

deBBie said...

Yay. I get to leave the first comment to your latest blog. I just received a copy of your ebay auction via my mom.
I can relate...I have eight kids. I admire you for having six and so enjoy your sense of humour.
love, Debbie (Oregon)

Anonymous said...

You are as talented as Erma Bombeck was. Please write a book. Im in for a few copies. Any publisher would be a fool to turn down your material

janetn

Anonymous said...

Omg yeah ok you must think I'm nuts but my husband and I have just literally spent the whole night reading your blog front to back and laughing our asses off the whole time...I Love your writing...and I thank you it's odd but it's given me and my husband some quality time together..yea that says alot lol...and our kids have done some of that stuff and it's so glad to know there are other parents out there and omg you are the strongest mother I know of you are truly wonder lol...I would be more then insane by now..I've only got 2 and half kids :-) Bless you dear woman and keep up the great work!!!
~Andi~ (Willow_Whisp..yada yada yes same chick lol!!)

Stacey said...

Pssst.......:::whispering:::: (Knott's is in Buena Park)

Your writing has seriously cracked me up. Rarely do I come across a blog that I am laughing with tears at 99% of the entries :) Thanks for the good laugh day and all those to cme!!

My name is Tammie said...

Where was the incontinence warning on this post?? Hummm? I of course found you the same way everyone else has and I think you are a total riot! Way to go momma!! You have made it famous in the blogesphere!

Susan said...

I see in your long list of countries that Israel is missing, so I'm sending you this so you can add one more country to the list.

Your ebay sales "pitch" and the blog really got my day going with a smile. I never had any kids -- one of the big regrets in my life.

Hmmmm, on second thought.
Well, I can only wish you all the strength you need to get this crew to adulthood! What fun memories they will have of their kid-hood, I bet.

Your writing reminds me of when I read, many years ago, "Cheaper by the Dozen" -- you're only half-way there!! (ha ha)

I expect to see you on Oprah one of these days!!

Susan

Anonymous said...

Wow, I started writing my comment when there were zero comments to this blog entry, and now there's already 10! You're going to be a busy girl for some time!

I LOVED your auction! I read it when it was about $107 and around 85,000 hits with 7 hours left. I checked it later and saw the final numbers....$142.51 and 179,257 current hits --- WOW!!!

I showed it to my wife and she loved it also, especially the part about your "seventh" child (your husband)....funny, I didn't quite get that part...

What a great writeup. And I've read your comments too--you are extremely gracious--you give terrific responses to your fans. And I found many of your responses just as amusing as your auction listing, so thanks again!

And I laughed out loud at your 1/2 cup of coffee comment and of course at your incontinence warning!

Thanks for finding the humor in experiences that are so trying for so many of us, and for brightening SO MANY people's day (including mine)!

I'm a father of 3 (9, 7, 2.5), and I'm in the military and have deployed many times (not currently on deployment though--God Bless those men and women!), so I am another one who can relate to your experiences (albeit with a few less children to round up--kinda like herding cats isn't it??)

But one thing is sure: You have made me another of your fans!!

Michelle said...

OMG, I am your new biggest fan!!! :-)

A member of a message board I am on posted a link to your eBay auction for the Pokemon cards tonight. Can I just say I laughed my a$$ off over it!! I only have two kids (praise the Lord!) and I could relate to every single word!

And just think: the money it generated could cover half of that grocery bill. Woo hoo!! *wink*

Catherine said...

I have five children, all grown-up now, no thanks to me. One of them forwarded me the link to your auction. And I just want to say that mine "got" sarcasm remarkably early. One child asked "waht's this dinner called?" one day, and my just-turned- two year old promptly offered the answer "George".

Sharon said...

OMG your e-bay item was hysterical. A friend sent it to me and said, "You think you have it bad, read this." LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!! You are so funny.

Erika said...

Hey there!

Your auction was posted at mommaville.com and we would love to have you join us!

Mommaville is a parenting message board filled with only the most entertaining and wonderful women on the internet.

Come check us out!

Erika :)

Christina said...

Thank You so much for your story on your auction, and for your blog. You made me laugh like I haven't in a long time. And yes, I had to cross my legs as to not Pee LOL! I have a 2 year old and one on the way. You are an inspiration with 6!

Anonymous said...

Well I had 6 children in my home today and thought of you all day long! In just a few short hours I had pop corn and watermelon among other things ground into my carpet. A playroom turned upside down and along with most of the house. This on a daily basis would drive me to drink! I am so glad to see it has driven you to humor! (and YES, Oprah does need to get her hands on you)
I have never blogged in my life, but I am glad to see its a great outlet for you. We have 4 yr old twins and often think of them as herding cats, like another poster mentioned.
When your ready for a moms weekend away, call me! I'd love to go!
Shelley in Texas!

deleine said...

Thank you for this, I do not want any more children now =O) I will settle with the 3 I have!!! Thank you for opening my eyes!!! //Madeleine from Sweden

hiddendragon said...

You are really a great mother!

After finished reading those recent posts, I guess the winner must admit that she had done a huge deal, maybe after you sign those cards, they will become a legend.

Best regards for you and your 'seven' children! :)

mothsmoke said...

Paypal takes a cut? WTF? Is that true?

Andrea said...

A friend of mine passed your blog along to me & I just want to say you're awesome. You had me laughing SO hard & you seriously made my day. I am a military wife with 4 kiddos (ages 12, 8, 3 & 1) so I can fully relate.

I will be saving your blog so I can check in often for a 'get away.' LOL

Anonymous said...

You ROCK!

That's all :)



Robyn - Western Australia

Katey said...

You are not ordinary, you are super ordinary and thanks for the laughs...you may not have time to do scrapbooking, but I know the perfect website if you ever should decide you can squeeze in the time.

For those who want to keep an eye on your blog they can just add it to their web favourites, so they can click on it next time.

You are a champion of mothers, making the everyday seem special, your children will adore you all their lives.

AussieRodney said...

G'day from Australia.

So how has your family taken this new-found fame?

Tarryn said...

My daughter is sick and has slept ALL day. Which I'm sure would be a day of bliss for you. I was bored and heard about the e-bay auction for the pokemon cards. I then proceeded to read your entire blog. Start to finish. I have too much time on my hands. :-D

Well, I COULD have done washing and the copiuous amounts of house work, but reading your blog seemed the better option.

You don't need to start from stratch to write a book. You can just put your blog entires on paper, bind it together, get your kids to do a picture together for the front cover (hopefully with as little fighting as possible and hoping that they will draw ON the paper and not on the walls and goodness knows where else) and hey presto! You have a book!

I love that you don't put the "perfect family" face on and act like everything is peaches and cream. You are, who you are and everyone (including me) loves it!

Moral of this post, you're awesome.

Dangerously Simple said...

Wow, thanks for the awesome read. Found yer blog thru the ebay auction... looks like half the world did too ;) Congrats ;)

I am a mother of five... and I too ALWAYS get the comment "are they ALL yours???" DUH!! Like you said, I always round up the neighborhood kids to drive me crazy as I run thru the store trying to make sure half the inventory doesn't make it into my cart.

I added you to my list of reads :) It will be nice to read when it all settes down here. I enjoy the sarcasm you have about life. But then again, if you didn't have your sarcasm, you probably wouldn't have your sanity. That is... IF you still have that ;)

scrappysue said...

you can add NEW ZEALAND to that list now :)

enjoy the ride - i have 4 daughters and my head spins - 6, you are a legend in your own lunch break.

rock on...

Anonymous said...

Wonderful! I don't often leave comments but just have to here. You made me laugh out loud several times through my all-bran and banana. Just what I needed as I am adapting to life with a 3 week old baby, trying to breastfeed etc etc.

But how did you get the time to write such a screed for your ebay auction with 6 kids?

You are amazing!!

melech said...

It shouldn't be all that difficult to cob together this very blog into a best-seller. Most of the people who have wriutten in would grab a copy or two. OPRAH will most likely be calling, now that you are WORLD_ famous. Isn't it amazing how the random act of sneaking a pack of cards into your shopping cart has suddenly changed your life. I wish you every success and happiness...and thanks for the bit of joy you provided yesterday.

Luci said...

LOL you are soo hilarious!! Its a perfect way to cope with SIX kids - otherwise youwould be a whiner too.

I totally relate to your husband being the 7th kid - I always say my husband is the third - and lol I have no intention of adding any more.

I so totally admire you.

I am from Malta, Europe BTW.

Therese said...

Great listing.

Adding your blog to my blogroll.

Blessings
Therese

Platinum said...

I loved your auction listing! You're an amazing Mum! Your kids have that rare opportunity of growing up with a literate, humorous adult and that combination usually produces well-balanced adults (whatever they may be like at the moment LOL).

The person who had the bright idea of lining the checkout aisles with candy is on my Most-Hated list, too - just behind the mental midget who decided to bring out 50 000 varieties of breakfast cereal, all of which are equally bad for you and the choice of which takes the family half an hour for the decision and two days afterwards for the vendetta and acrimony ("This tastes like s**t! Why'd you get what HE chose?!")

My grocery-store guerillas are now in their late teens and much easier to shop with...

Stefanie said...

Bless your heart for being such a great mommy. Those are some lucky children you have.

And I'd buy your book! I'm a big lover of sarcasm myself. LOL

Jules said...

ROFL... my then 4 now 5yr old - often looks up with the big eyes and says "oh Mummy your being Sarcastic aren't you?" my answer is always "what do you think?"... it is said by some to be the lowest form of wit, most days however it is my only form of wit.

Both my kids are skilled the art of sarcasm, I have 2 kids, but tell people I have 4 coz my hubby is worth 2 (he is aware of this anomoly - I think he's proud of it actually). He is often telling me with the wonder of Hindsight in a decsion that we have discussed or argued through and he has "won" that When will I learn not to listen to him.

I refuse to take him shopping now. For the simple fact he doubles our bill and we come home with rubbish food the kids come home worked up with new ideas on how to play up more effectively or wear me down...

Thanks for the laugh and keep on smiling - you should do the book by the way (whatever it is - hey your all ready famous - my friends sent me an email and I'll be passing it along - BTW I'm in Australia)
Jules

Greg said...

I am about to be a first time Dad (JAN 08), and came across your website from my wonderful sister-in-laws, who between them has 5 boys and one girl. They test their limits every day, but are wonderful kids.....I love what you have wrote, and plan to check in often. I also keep a blog of what my 6 nephews and neice get into, and it makes for good times. Anyway take care and good luck. Thanks for the laugh.

CuDobh aka Patrik said...

Just saw your E-bay auction and from a link on IDG's Swedish site I also found this blog.

Parenting is note the easiest task in this world, in fact if it required a license most of us would have been allowed to be parents I guess.

I am the father of two boys (8 and 5 for the moment) and I find it hard enough to go shopping with them....

Your blog is just wonderful to read and I will recommend it to all I come across, no matter if they have children or not.

Keep up the good work!

Tanya said...

You rock! Saw your ebay link on another Blog and had to follow - laughed till I cried. You HAVE to write - you have the gift. There's nothing like making people, esp tired Mamas, laugh - makes the day extra good.
Take care,
Tanya

Bastiaan said...

you rule!
wish you were my mom ;)

Anonymous said...

Another fan here as well. Thanks for the laughs. Keep up the good work.

Angie

Dana said...

I had to stop by to read your blog, I love it. Enjoy the ride ... 'cuz aparantly the antics of a life with lots of kids have earned YOU a Gold Star for the day. I wrote you from ebay ... I'm the mom with 7 kids who could have lived every single moment of your shopping trip. I bet we could sure swap some funny stories. I have to go ... and dig out the magic eraser to clean my toddlers artwork off my hardwood floor. For the record, this is my houdini child (who has also wiggled her way out of the buckle in the shopping cart) who can disappear in 30 seconds flat and create 30 minutes of clean-up following her mayhem IN that 30 seconds. Bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Have a great day!
Dana

Heather said...

Thank you for a funny read this early in the morning. Of course, I got here from your eBay auction, which - of all places - has been posted on a scrapbooking message board. LOL

Isabel said...

Hey Lady
These stories have made my day!! I want to read the book..like you're gonna have time for that! I'm a stay at home mommy of 2 and can totally relate. Sometimes they remind me of crazy, drunken, midgets!!! (um...please don't judge me cause I din't say little people!) You rock momma, keep it up. Durring nap time (when I'm not eating bon bons and watching Operah) I will be reading your blog. KUDOS!!!!

Anonymous said...

You are very funny! I loved Erma Bombeck and all of her books. You have the humor and the wit to write books to be yourself. I think many people would love to buy your books. Please start writing! :)

WildSeaKitten said...

http://syndicated.livejournal.com/6packblog/

your blog is now syndicated at livejournal... for those that have livejournal. :) makes it easy to add it to your exisiting friendslist, so you can read it.

Lisa said...

Good lord, woman. Six? You must have the patience of a saint!?! Thanks for the laughs!!

Mandy Moo said...

Thankyou for your writing - I'm in tears of laughter. I'm a Mum of 3 (well, 4 if you count my husband). You have a wonderful sense of humour, and you write incredibly well. I really hope this is the start of something wonderful for you.

Cheers from Down Under.

Sonya said...

Wow. Truly, I see a lot of myself in your blog. We stopped at 4 -- 3 boys and 1 girl. Sarcasm is a fact of life in our household a habit ingrained at an early age. Now that two of them are teens, we are realizing that we probably should of thought ahead a bit.

kathrynstakelin said...

You are the next "Erma Bombeck". That was the funniest story on Ebay that I have ever read PLUS your blog is hysterical. Thanks for a great start to my day!

Heather said...

I love reading your posts. A friend sent me the ebay listing, and I ran over to look at your blog. I forwarded the listing to several friends, all of which have laughed themselves silly, including the couple that do not have children.

We have four total with my husband's tossed in though they're in college now. Respective ages are (almost) 21, 19, 6 and (almost) 4, with the boys as bookends. The two youngest drive me nuts on a regular basis (patience? What's that?) and I congratulate you for still having a head full of hair!! (At least I hope so!)

Try to keep your sanity if there is any left by now! *laugh*

Traci said...

Great! You are not a fluke! You really are this funny! The incontinence warning didn't work!!! As I sit here drinking even more coffee!

Catlady said...

I just want to thank you.... Ironically, yesterday morning, I was at my hairdresser getting a cut, and we got talking and she was telling me stories of when her two kids were young, and some of her adventures shopping with them. We had a good laugh. Then, I came home to find among my emails a link to your ebay auction - and subsequently your blog....

Talent. Yes, you have it - writing talent.... and I think you *Should* talk to a publisher...if the "yarnharlot" can publish a book with her babbles about knitting (which are funny, but your stories are much better) then you can certainly do it!!

I have now added your blog to my daily morning reading, and when I think I can handle it, I'll read from the beginning :)

I also hope that you will reproduce your ebay description somewhere (when you have time) so that when ebay takes the page down, we'll all still have something to read!!

Oh, and if you have a moment, you are quite welcome to check my blog, too, if you want to...no need, I'm sure you have your hands full!!
http://catsrmecrafter.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

Hey!!!
Love your writing style! LOL!!!
I STILL use Aquanet.

Kinda like my vitamin in the morning , ya know?

Keep up the great work..you make me smile!

Have a great day,
Louise
(people call me Halfback Weezie)
Why you ask?
Well......
I was born and raised on Long Island in New York...
then moved to Florida for 8 years...
Now I am in North Carolina...
halfway back to New York. lol

Heather said...

Wow, your grocery store thing was funny. Just last night I went online and ordered my groceries through a local chain and all I had to go do was pick it up. I thought, "I have finally rescued myself from grocery store mayhem!" Going to the store with just my *3* kids is enough to drive anyone insane! But when I got home I found this is not a foolproof system...many of my items were wrong. For instance, I ordered a 40oz Jif Creamy PB and received a 17 oz Simply Jif (reduced sugar). How is that comparable I'd like to know?! Anyway, thus ends my search for the easy way out. At least I know I'm not the only one who hates the grocery store!!!

Anonymous said...

no platitudes or flowery prose here extolling your virtues :-)

you get it - you've got it - do something with it...

excellent job, look forward to seeing and buying a copy of the book. "Because I Said So"

Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for the laughs! I was too selfish to have kids by either birth or adoption, but I did marry a widower with 4 living children. I saw your ebay item from a link by Danielle Bean and then of course sent it to one of my friends with 5 kids (so far) and one of my stepdaughters (whose kids I watch).

One day I was in a store with one of the grandkids; she had neuro problems and cannot sit up -- her legs stuck out and fists were constantly balled -- plus at the time she was on seizure meds which caused her to cry all the time. All. The. Time. So I did my best, put her in the cart and stuffed groceries around to sit her up. An employee made a rude comment and I was about to cry. Later that day I had her in a snugli, her little legs jutting out like firewood, and a lady berated me for hurting her (well, she looked awkward and was bawling, what should the lady think?). Finally I carried her like a football so her limbs could stick out, and a lady said I was carrying her like a sack of potatoes. Under my breath and out of patience, I muttered, "Well, she IS a sack of potatoes." Not that she's a veg, but it felt like carting around a limp sack.

I told the story to family, and now when she gets tired and droopy, sometimes they call her SackO'Taters. Sheesh -- I was just at the end of my rope and made a snarky comment, and now it's pasted to my legend.

Blessings to you and your six little grey-hair-makers!

Queen Bug said...

I loved your story too! I only have two kids... they're too young to act up in a grocery store, but I still wait for my husband to get home to grocery shop. Or I shop at the stores they let you shop online, then they get your groceries ready and all you have to do is pick it up. Love that service! Don't know what I'd do without it. If you have one in your area you could use that and avoid having to be miserable at the grocery store.

Jess said...

I just received a link to your auction through a friend of mine. As I read it I had to laugh because I have 4 kids... 3 plus a husband and I joke when going to the store that there are really 10 kids. I have blog rolled you.

I plan to stop back by, you are one amazing woman to mother those kids!

Victoria said...

Had you been writing about 4 kids, I'm pretty sure anyone who knows me would have thought I wrote your ebay auction. I've gotten the "interesting sense of humor" comment from the oldest son's teacher...and the guidance counselor. Heh... *trailing off*

I get "Are they all yours?" for different reasons, though. Only 2 of them are "mine" biologically and, I think that taking up bedrooms in my house makes them mine...just sayin'. But 3 of 4 of them don't even look like me in the least, and I'm only 13 years older than my oldest stepdaughter, and on top of that I actually am 29 but look a little younger since I can only afford to buy clothing from the clearance racks of Juniors departments. The looks on people's faces is priceless. Yeah, I had each one with a different dad, starting at the ripe age of 13. I just say "yes" to throw them off. Yeah, make sense of that one while I shop.

Well, thanks for the laughs. Sorry my comment's so long. I don't know when to shuddup.

scottyjsmom said...

Your humor is great. If you can't laugh about things sometimes, you will just be left to cry. Who wants to cry all the time(much less have TIME to cry?) with the kids to shuffle around? I only have 3 kids myself(yes, I too count my husband), but I totally walk in chaos similiar to yours just just my 2(4 and 2 1/2).

annie said...

I, too, came here from the eBay listing, via another mom's blog. I have 3 children currently, and even after reading your Pokemon cards story, I still want more... am I nuts? Possibly. But it'll be fun to blog about. :)

ComfyDenim said...

I came across your blog because of your e-bay auction. Someone had e-mailed me the link. I found your auction to be VERY creative! I've thought about picking up all the toys my kids don't seem to care about (by not picking them up) and selling them on e-bay. :-)

I've enjoyed catching up on your family life and find your humor to be quite funny. And I see your humility in there as well. I can't imagine what it must be like to find 1000+ e-mails!! Wow.

Your outlook on mommy-dom is about the same as mine, I think you must tell stories better than I do, though. I've only got 4 kids to work with, maybe that's it?

Enjoyed your blog very much, and will be back.

6littlelambs said...

Dearest Mama I am literally sitting here with tears streaming down my face. I haven't laughed so hard in such a long time!! Someone linked to you on one of my message boards and we're all having a wonderful time reading your blog :) I'm definately posting a link to you on both my blogs today.

No pressure of course to continue being funny :P And if you feel pressured.....Come to the dark side.....We have cookies :D

Beth said...

I am a mom to 6 and can *SO* relate to this ebay auction!

Seriously - I have to go grocery shopping today!

BlankFam said...

Hi Dawn, I had to comment in here Your Ebay Auction was posted in my MSN Group and I was laughing myself silly at it and all the "Questions".
You are a very brave and funny woman who should most definately spend some of your ebay money on yourself even if it is just a chocolate bar all for you!! Have you tried internet grocery shopping?? Do they have it in the states? I am in Australia and I know Coles Supermarket have internet shopping you could do it at 1am and get it delivered!
I am a mother of half your brood and at ages 12 (a daughter who is also ADHD), and two sons aged 8 and 3.5 the youngest being the most spoiled. I absolutely hate shopping with them also it must be a mother thing, as my Mum has said the kids are great at the shops! My Favourite word at the shop is "NO" and they get that as soon as the mouth opens to askj a question which of course get the eyes rolling with the eldest or a pout from the 8 yrold and scremain from the toddler but alas I have no shame and do not care who scowls at me I will not give in if I have said no and will drag the toddler kicking and screaming with a dead lock on his arm out of the shop and straight home I have quite a few times left the trolley half full apologising to the girl behind the register who knows all 3 kids first names just because I yell them out every single time we go in to the shop lol. I am also considering buying a hand held tape recorder just to tape my answers to the requests I get every time we go shopping so I dont loose my voice the recording would be a loop of "NO" "Its too expensive" "NO" "because I said so"
I also find that as soon as the phone rings they want to come and ask you things that they know you will say no to normally but on the phone you say yes just to get some peace!
Smile make them Paranoid and stay sane! from an Aussie Fan.

Judy said...

OMG! I just love you! I have 4 boys, so I am constantly getting stopped by strangers who 1) want to know if they're all mine 2) want to know if I am going to try one more time for a girl 3) just want to comment on how handsome they are or how much they all look alike.

Anyway, I got a real kick out of reading your ebay auction, which was sent to me by a friend because she said it reminded her of me. I could really relate to just about everything you wrote. You have a real talent for writing and expressing yourself. I think a lot of moms can relate to your experiences. You should definately consider writing a book!

Becky said...

I know i'm probably saying what you read before in other comments,but as a mom of 4 i know how tough it can be and having a sense of humor goes without saying lol.
Anyway i really enjoyed reading your blog ,i still have a few past posts to read,but like you already know it will take a while with the kiddos always at your feet lol.
Anyway keep it coming ,i look forward to reading more!!!

Tiffany said...

Im going to add you to my blogroll, so I can stop by often. Your a hoot! I only have 1 little one, and my DH goes to the store with me.

Nancy said...

I just wanted to say that I'm a mom of 6 children also! (#7 on the way). I loved your little essay on the grocery trip. My oldest, 16, said it sounds like when we go to the grocery store. Nuts! My children are 16, 13, 8,6,3,11 mos. The oldest and youngest are girls. Those 4 boys are sure rambunctious!

M. Barron said...

You have brought a smile to my face - very very funny (because you're real and you tell it like it is).

Thank you so much!

amanda said...

Your auction listing was great! I bet you are blown away by the attention this has gotten. :) I have 4 kids, and while our trips to the grocery store aren't QUITE as eventful as your's are, I sooooooo can relate! (I laughed out loud at the 'yes, but it's fun' comment...I don't know HOW many times I've said that to strangers who tell me I've got my hands full! What do they expect us to say to that???) :)

Michielle said...

sarcasm? of course most moms of many children have loads of it, it is how we make it through each day. and of course our children inherit that wonderful trait very early on. At least mine have.

sherilyn said...

Hello from a fellow mother of 6. Wow, you have just described my life! Reading your blog and ebay description helped me get through a tough day with the kiddos. Thanks. I think I know who said that her kids never acted up at the store. It has to be my mother-in-law. It just has to be. Where in the Chicago area do you live? I was raised in Elgin.
Thanks again for brightening my day. Moms of 6 rocks!

Nancy said...

Humor is a wonderful coping tool. This I know well!

Had your auction forwarded to me by a friend here in Oregon, and I will stop by to visit from here on out.

Thanks for brightening my day.

Anonymous said...

One of the members of the forum I am part of posted the link to your EBAY auction regarding the cards. Everyone has enjoyed it! ANd if they are like me they passed it on to anyone they knew that had a sense of humor. I will be reading your blog from now on. I have three kids and am the same age as you. As for those wondering why your so sarcastic, c'mon you try raising any amount of kids and not gaining some sort of defense mechanisms to make it throughout the day without killing someone. Thanks so much for the laughs, it made my day at work so much less blah!

C aka Lily in Texas

Anonymous said...

I am not a mom but an Aunt to two crazy little girls, ONE acts like Evil Kinevil and the other is sooo sneaky! I love them to death but man they are a handful & there is only 2! I give you props a 100%!

Dewdrop said...

6 kids... wow. I would have no hair. I have an only child. Can you imagine? Love your action... got it as a forward. Too funny! You go, girl.

Cris said...

My friend added the link to your ebay auction in a comment on my blog. Her husband thought it was me who wrote it... apparently you and I have similar lives-and similar ways of dealing with our lives (sarcasm, bitching, moaning...)

Isn't life a blast!

Anonymous said...

Congrats on the instant fame, Dawn! Now, you need to monetize it....quick. No pressure, though...you obviously have the talent to keep this engaging and your kids no doubt have the energy to provide you with ongoing material.

Rita said...

With this kind of exposure, you just might make it to Oprah! But seriously, you have the wonderful ability to put into words what every mom feels - and you do it with humor. You've got that Erma Bombeck thing going on and you should be proud of it!

Keep rockin' on, Mom!

Scavengergirl said...

Great writing Pokemom!

To subscribe to this blog, scroll to the bottom and click Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)then follow the directions.

Lori said...

How can you possibly resist a group called, (tongue in cheek)
I'm Such a Wonderful Mommy I'll Make You Barf!
BARF for short! rofl

http://groups.msn.com/ImSuchAWonderfulMommyIllMakeYouBarfSite/_whatsnew.msnw

Think about it...we all could use more of your humor on our site.

Loves2Sew said...

I have 'only' 4 children, but I totally related to your post! Thank you for your sense of humor and making me realize I'm not alone :o)

mamaof2girls said...

Thanks for the laughs! I have a 3 1/2 year old and a 2 year old and I absolutly detest bringing them to the grocery store so I feel you pain! I also am glad to hear that my kids aren't the only spazes out there! To the lady with the well-behaved kids, I am sure they will be in therapy in 15 years!

GIS Lady said...

I got 4 kids (including my husband) and I thought I had a hard time. You have such a great since of humor. If you do write a book, I’ll buy it. That’s how I stay sane…I read…Of course the only time I have to read is late at night after everyone goes bed.

Mom of Twins x Two said...

You are SERIUOSLY funn!! I have four kids (two sets of twins) so I know what it's like to take them grocery shopping. (I get some of the same questions and now have better answers to them because of you)...I can't even imagine doing it with SIX!!!

Anonymous said...

Your auction was the funniest thing I've read in a long time. Seriously it was better than therapy, so thank you. You're going to have to hire a publicist soon!

Jen said...

I found you through a link to your ebay listing on Danielle Bean's blog. You are a SCREAM! I have 3 kids under 5 and totally get the chaos you describe. I will definitely put this blog on my favorites. God Bless you for the much needed levity today!

Cyn said...

I LOVE this blog! I've bookmarked it. When I'm having one of those rip-my-hair-out days because of my 3 kids, I'll read your blog to remind me that I am not alone. You've become the patron saint of exhausted, exasperated, take-each-day-with-a-sense-of-humor moms. Kudos!

TheGoodBuyGirl

WILLIAM said...

You are too funny.

Robin said...

You are a genuis!! Hysterical, creative. I have no kids but you make me want to have a few! Wish I had a babysitter like you growing up. Definitely keep writing - don't ever stop. We NEED you to keep us entertained! Thanks.

Anonymous said...

My husband sent me the link to your auction and from there I found your blog. You have really lightened my mood the past two days. You have such a way with words, and even though I only have two, I think I ended up with two Spaz's LOL! My living room can go from spotless to disaster zone in the blink of an eye. My parents don't understand how I can be home all day and have such a messy house! Of course it doesn't help that they don't give me a warning before they stop by. It's nice to read someone who takes all this parenting stuff with a sense of humor and so many people can relate! My husband and I have really enjoyed reading - and I think our favorite part was the Spongebob bit at Culver's LOL :) I'll be checking in regularly! And how wonderful about your auction!

sabedavo said...

Thank you for the MAJOR pick-me-up this morning. A BabyCenter mom posted a link to your auction and I followed that here. I LOVE your sense of humor!

EC said...

I think you have made yourself into quite the dinner conversation! LOL

That's how I found you, a mom in my mom group sent me the link. I do hope it dies down for you though pretty soon, or else grandma and grandpa might have to move in :)

Of course that would lead to some excellent writing material! Keep up your great sense of humor and hysterical writing, I love it!

Rebekah said...

I received your auction as a forward from Chicago. GOOD FOR YOU! I have four kids, I loved hearing your stories. I will check your blog out from now on and have posted a link to yours from mine!

Candi Ladwig said...

Had to let you know I forwarded your e-bay auction onto Jay Leno!!! You are too funny! I wish I would have seen your blog before I sent it, it is so fun to read. :)

Catherine said...

77,000! I was really excited at 10,000 and took a screen shot of the counter. :)

Nice to "meet" you!

Mystii said...

Ok, I'll join your fan club! Everyone needs a laugh in their day and you've become my favorite. I have a small ladies-only group in MSN and all but one of the women there are mom's. We can ALL related to your stories. OMG, I am so glad my kids are grown up now. Hang in there... maybe it won't be better later, but it will change LOL! Thanks for the laughs Dawn. I'd love to see you publish a book!

Amy~~ said...

I have 7 kids and I can relate to pretty much...well....everything you write about!lol
I posted a link to your blog on mine,I hope that's ok.
I'll be a regular visitor here for sure!

Neverland Scraps said...

I posted about you on my Digital Scrapbooking Blog this morning. I wanted the people who come to my blog to read your awesome EBay Auction and I wanted them to come on over to your blog and read more of your take on life.

You are a wonderful woman, I especially like the "Thank you" at the bottom of your post today. I too am a military wife getting ready for our first deployment in a couple days/weeks (you know the military, never a set date!) and he's been in a different location here in the states since September. Its hard not having him around, its lonely, we miss him and can't wait until his deployment is done in '09 so we can finally be a family together again. Thank you for your many thanks to those just like us. And all too much, we understand a shopping experience with children in tow!

And just for the record, I believe you are 29 years old :D

Thanks again for the humorous reading, the great take on life and for being so candid about everything/anything.

Anonymous said...

I received a link to your eBay auction and loved reading it so much I had to check out your blog! I only have 3 kids (all within 3 1/2 years of each other) and I used to get similar comments so I can only imagine what people think when they see you with twice that many!

Since I understand you love grocery shopping so much, I don't know if you'll consider my idea but....something I recently started doing is The Grocery Game (www.thegrocerygame.com). I get coupons from my Sunday paper and then look up The Grocery Game online and it tells me which coupons to use at which store so I save money. I am SAVING on average 70%! It doesn't take long to make a list because they lay it all out for you. So, I was just thinking that if you did this, you'd save enough money to hire a babysitter and actually go shopping ALL BY YOURSELF! :) Just a thought....it does cost a little to be able to access their lists, but I'm saving WAY more than that, so it's definitely worth it. They have a four week trial period for only $1 so you can check it out. If you, or anyone reading this decide to do it, I'd appreciate being listed as your referral (onethriftymom at yahoo.com). But honestly, I'm finding it such a great money saver that I would refer people to it without getting anything myself so I'm not just writing this for the referrals!

Enjoy your kids...before you know it, they will be grown! Ours are currently all teenagers; 18, 16, & 14, and I wonder what happened to the time...and I've been here for all of it as a stay-at-home mom!

Jeramy (JD) said...

You said you had three job offers in the other blog entry.
What were the other two?

Jenn said...

I am a Marine wife. My husband just returned from a year deployment to Iraq. Your blog and ebay posting was forwarded to me from a Marine frined in Japan. It's definitely making it's way around the world. I live in Souther California. I so appreciate finding something we call ALL relate to. Your stories are hilarious and I did wet my pants! I have 2 boys, 9 and 6. Evevn with only two to keep up with they can do damage and cause stress of 6! They kept me so busy while Dad was away. I appreciate your respect for the military. It means a lot to me and others. Keep up the good work. And for those damn Pokemon cards.....I just got rid of 400 of them! Yeah! :)

Shannon **Gabi's Mom** said...

I am in tears here from laughing so hard at this post!

I read your eBay auction and kept thinking as I read it, "This woman should be blogging, she is very entertaining!" And low and behold, you do!

My post on my blog today was about 2 funny things 1- my hubby 2- you! I will definately keep coming back here. You are just hilarious!

TCS said...

i am sorry. I have taught my children buggy racing. And other things that I will not mention here in fear my wife will find out.

Christian Homekeeper said...

You are definitely funny AND a good writer. You should write a book, I'm sure you would have buyers!

Jamie said...

I saw your auction as a post on theKnot.com--AMAZING!

You remind me of my friend Andrea. She has six GIRLS (that will be crazy once they are all teenagers). I appreciate the ability, like her, to still be down to earth, funny, and not crazy a.k.a. The Duggars.

I loved your response to the amputated feet comment...are people really that gullable?

This is quite a web phenomena, you have the Ebay sale heard round the world...I think that's quite some thing. And as the previous comments have said, if you ever wrote a book, I'd buy a couple.

Until then, if ever, your blog will have to tide me over when I'm bored at work.

Happy diaper changing!

-Jamie

momlovesbeingathome said...

I saw your eBay post by receiving a link to it through a homeschooling newsletter I receive. I just wanted to say that was HILARIOUS! Thanks for a chuckle first thing this morning. ;) I'm looking forward to looking through your blog now!!

Michelle said...

Thanks in advance for the incontinence warnings. Uber-important, says the 22-week pregnant mommy of 5 year old twins and a nearly 3 year old. All girls (even the in-utero one) and all with major attitude. Sarcasm can be "gotten" way early. My girls also inherited from their father. Such a shame. Thanks for the laughs - both of my mom-message boards are laughing right along with you.

Claire said...

I have to leave you a comment. I'm in the UK and read about your auction on one the the papercraft forums I visit.
I made the mistake of reading it whilst at work - and ended up with a lot of explaining to do (once I'd managed to calm the hysterical laughing and dry the tears from running down my contorted face - I'm not even going to mention about incontinence - all I'll say is that whilst we're saving for laminated flooring in our house, I'll save up a bit more and get my pelvic floor done at the same time).
Thank you so much for brightening my day - I'll be a regular visitor to your blog, becuase it's always nice to know that there is someone worse off than yourself :-)
Claire - Mum of 2 - England

Karen from Toronto, Ontario said...

I found your ebay auction from my mommies chat group. I read it to my husband (after the kids were asleep) and we both laughed. I do not have the challenges you have, but I have experienced similar trauma at the grocery store, in fact my husband won't even go to the grocery store with kids, but I brave it alone sometimes when it's only a few things...bless you, your husband and you kids.

Michele from Jersey said...

You are absolutely hysterical and thank you so much for making me laugh! God bless you & your 6 kiddo's!

Brian, Jamie, Molly & Sarah said...

So we were looking your pictures over and I was wondering if in the picture w/ you sitting on the couch w/ the banjo (ukulele) if perhaps you are wearing a wig????

End the suspense for my friend and me!

Jamie

Anonymous said...

My husband sent me the link to your ebay auction and I laughed so hard the people at work thought I was crazy, until I passed it on to all of them. You have a wonderful talent for writing. I hope that due to all of this fame you have received, an agent will contact you with a book offer. Thanks for the laughs!

RaveKnits said...

I found you through Fark. I am so pleased to find someone who can write, and uses real live punctuation and spelling.

I love the blog and will continue to read it.

Also, I sell on Ebay, and now I want to be like you. You have inspired me! How's that feel?

The Fluffy Ewe said...

Lol One of the gals over at the http://knittyboard.com posted the link to your Ebay auction.

Im going to be looking for you on teevee, girl! :)

mom_of the_traveling_familycircus said...

You have no idea how much I wish we shopped in the same store. LOL I would shamelessly follow you through the store and:

A) use your kids as cover to distract folks from looking at my 3 boys

OR

B)Claim 2 of my kids were actually with you and only 1 (whichever was behaving at the time) was mine.

Ever walk to your car and say (in a loud voice)"who are you kids and what are you doing in my car?" I have. LOL.

The apple pyramid really hit home for me---I have a mini legal scholar too(I wasn't running, I was walking really fast) and another who decided to pull the bottom row out of a pile of sweet potatoes "Avalanche!"

Thanks for the laughs---I'm just sorry I missed the Pokemon cards. I'll think of you when I shop later today.

LisaCate said...

And I thought I was something special when I had the 110 visits in one day! I wanna be you when I grow up...

wfields said...

You should know that there are many women's magazines that will pay you for funny articles that you write about your family. Women's Day is one of them. All you have to do is send your writing in and they will review it. If you get chosen, some of them will pay you for printing your article. A friend of mine did that with the Christian Magazine that Family Life Today puts out, and she has just received a check for $225.00. All she had to do was mail in the article, they contacted her and asked her to shorten it slightly, and they are publishing it, so perhaps that would be a way for you to make a little money to pay that grocery bill.

Love from a Mom of Three!

Wendy

Debra said...

Just wanted to say thanks for the laugh...I needed that. I also enjoyed your blog.

Hugs
Debra...mom to a few also

Anonymous said...

Awww... you still remember me now that you're famous and you even mentioned me in your blog! I am touched.

Enjoy the limelight, Dawn. Bask in it. You deserve all of it and more!!!

-Godmother Denise from Lawn Giland :)

Laura said...

Love your Ebay listing and your blog!! You're a great writer - I hope you get to do something with it after all this! :)

Bethy said...

Your ebay auction description of why you sold the cards was a fantastically funny read? Is fantastically a word? I dunno! On my way to Wal Mart with my 3 in tow. Not quite as "adventurous" as your 6 Im sure but I dread the trip.

Have a fantastic day and I look forward to readying your blog often.

Tabitha said...

Thanks for the laugh. I really needed it today. I laughed so hard I cried - haven't done that in ages. This is better than therapy and way cheaper. I better go check on my kids to make sure they aren't putting baloney into the DVD player or attaching the cat to the ceiling fan blades. Thanks again for the laugh. My shopping adventures seem tame by comparison. I usually end up with Bubble Tape - which my son thinks should be ingested rather than chewed - instead of Pokemon cards. Thanks again for the laugh. Have a great day.

CaLisa said...

So stinking funny! I came home yesterday afternoon to find the link to your auction posted on a message board I frequent. The timing was perfect I must add. See, I had just returned from the mall after having my kids pictures taken, mind you I only have 2 kids (not 6 good grief) ages 4 and 2. I had failed to have there yearly pictures taken and they both have birthdays coming up very very soon. Feeling guilty about being so timely in getting my first childs pictures done on time and not doing with my second I was adiment (sp?) I was going to get it done this week, I mean technically there are still 2 and 4 so it still counts. I came home and posted the pics to my message board with the header of something like, "now I am reminded why I never take the two of them together in public together" and proceeded to vent about my horrific experience at the photographers. Just minutes later I was directed to your auction, it was perfect! So nice to know my kids are not the only misbehaved terrors in public and that the feeling of wanting to run into the nearest public bathroom and lock the doors is well, a universal mom thing! I adore your sarcasm's, what a fun gal you must be when your not wiping snot off your shirt, or digging toys out of the toilet! Thank you for changing my mood yesterday for even just a moment, (it was short lived as the next fight insued and I was yet again pulling my near 3 year old off my screaming near 5 year old and removing hair from tightly clenched little fingers). Hey, maybe I should keep an eye out for you on Leno, hey you never know!
Lisa M
Napa, Ca

Mommy Brain said...

Reading your ebay auction and your blog is the best thing I could have done to celebrate the children going back to school where they belong! It's amazing to me how much I enjoy my toddler now that the older ones are out of the house! Thanks and keep writing!

Tonia said...

That was great!!! I understand completely!! When my kids were little I could barracade them in the cart so they just destroyed what I had to buy and Then they got to big for the cart... I only have 3 but my "4th" child is the worst when I take him with us to the grocery store. And anyone who says their children behave perfectly in the store well.... LMBO!!! Right. She obviously doesn't take them all at one time! Loved your Ebay and your blog. I got this from one of my Yahoo groups! It was so funny and hard on my bladder! But very much worth it!! Have a great day!!

Kathleen said...

Congrats on the successful sale of your Pokemon cards! (If I could sell all of the Pokemon and Yu-gi-oh cards in my house for a similar amount, I could pay off my mortgage!).

You are quite the talented writer - I've enjoyed reading your blog. I had just started reading yesterday when one of my kids informed me that his brother was holding a box of Fruity Pebbles upside down and - of course - the box emptied all over the floor. However, I had a chance this morning to read through some of the archives. The first sentence of "Shoot Me Now" regarding the military camp where two of your kids will be spending next summer caused me to accidentally spit something onto my computer screen. And - I LOVE the comment about the woman with the perfectly behaved kids - afraid of the stick up her butt. I hope I'll be able to recall that comment at some point when I really need it!

Have a good day!

Kathleen (mom to five)

mrsdoxtater said...

Wow! I came across your Pokemon cards on EBAY while looking with my little brother. I just loved the reason why you are selling the cards! I cannot beleive that you manage to keep your head with that many children! I can hardly handle shopping with my two kids! Haha
Anyway, I just had to leave you a comment :) Good luck selling the cards! And good luck with the children!!
~Jenn

Jen said...

My office manager emailed me your auction and I linked to your blog from there...You are HILARIOUS!! I have a 2 year old and am 8 months pregnant with baby #2 and all the while have been wondering how the heck I was going to manage working full time, going to school part time and raising 2 kids at 24 yrs. old. Your blog has certainly put things in perspective for me. GOD BLESS YOU and all of your children!! Keep up the writing and the sarcasm...isn't it a great way to blow off steam?! =)

Shauna Nilsson said...

Thank you!

From the mum of 9 beautiful children(the last two of which are 3 month old twins! *sigh*)

Layton, Utah

Anonymous said...

What a wonderful blog you do! I laughed so hard at the eBay thing. I only have twins that are bad enough, but I work with a girl that's 33 and she has 6 kids too & a husband that 3 months ago became paralyzed from this neck down! I don't know how she does it!

Kudos to you!
Lisa, NC

Nina said...

Hope you are a scrapbooker!

Goldiemom2four said...

I just had to comment here too. It is so refreshing to read another Mom's blog and see that the craziness that goes on here isn't an isolated thing. I dread taking all my children anywhere all at the same time. I am not thinking that it will get better or easier when they are older either. Much to my great dismay. *sigh*

Don't you just love the "are they all yours?" question? I swear... I only have 4 and get that all the time. I just want to smack them. But I usually say "Well, they all look like me so I am guessing that they are, but the little one over there just showed up one day so I can't be completely certain." LOL

Hopefully some of the comments you are recieving will brighten your day as much as your blog has brightened my day. :) Take care and God Bless.

Anonymous said...

Hi, omg I love you blog and your auction, I have 4 kids and can relate. You made me laugh so hard and helped get me through my day which did include a trip to the grocery store WITH my kids. And yes I had to ask them at least 3 times not to poke the meat...but I giggled. You should consider doing a book maybe with just short stories? I know there are places you could have it published and sell it on ebay even. I know I would buy it, just think about it! You definetly have a talent for writing!

Trina in Kentucky said...

I saw a link to your auction at www.mitfordbooks.com and followed it here. Thanks so much for the laughter! (I passed the link on to a friend with 7 kids.)

I was only able to have one child (who we just took to college last weekend), and I got stupid comments too ("You only have the one? I bet he's spoiled!"). No, actually, he wasn't - and he tells me that he will someday give me 4 - 6 grandkids to make up for my not getting to have more children! I told him he'll have to find a cooperative and fertile wife first!

I plan on being a regular reader of your blog (but if I start right now, I'll never get to the grocery store today). Thanks again, and keep on writing!

God bless,
Trina in Kentucky

Angela said...

There it is! The subject of your book:

Shopping With Children and Other Exciting Stories!

Compile your stories with other people's experiences and you have a winner! I'd buy it!!

Anonymous said...

I received a link to your Ebay ad for the cards & you have made my day!!! I have 4 little boys age 8 & under & up until last week, I was a homeschooling mom. I enrolled my older 2 in school this wek & was just talking to my husband about how different a trip to SuperTarget was with only two. Then I saw your ad. LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I work full time overnights & after having 4 nights off, I was really dreading returning to work tonight. Now I have your blog to look forward to - It should help to pass the time, definitely help me stay awake & give me many much needed laughs! Thank you Thank you Thank you!!!

Loriann

Jennifer Lavender said...

I have LOVED reading both your eBay post and your blog. You sound like an amazing mom and I totally love your sense of humor. I think everyone should read your blog, so I'm going to recommend you on my 2007 Blog Day Celebration post. Have a great day and tell your kids they should be nice to you today so you can take a break and eat some chocolate.

Lara said...

My friends sent me your blog link. I have 6 kids too, only I cheated since the 14yr olds are twins. from there they go 13,11,9,8. 4 girls 2 boys.. I've enjoyed your blog, its fun to read someone's life when its so much like my own..
Lara

Anonymous said...

I think I just accidently flagged your blog for questionable material blah blah blah....I was trying to save it to peek at everyday and send to my daughters in law.....you should publish a book. You are very very clever and entertaining to say the least.
Grammy in VT

Amber said...

you should TOTALLY be on Oprah...I don't even WATCH Oprah, but I would definitely tune in if you were on ;)

This is so funny...regular person one day, famous the next!! Way to go!!!!

Ceilisundancer said...

Well, prepare for mom as it's going around aol now. People can relate, see, you're human and KNOW it, and you somehow found the time to write it down and make it sound so funny. 7th child and all. You obviously love and enjoy your children, and can find the humour in life. And, yes, I sent this on to my "single mom's e-mail loop" and will to one of my daughter's dance teachers who has 5? kids and is a military spouse, and a link in my blog. Can you function on only 1/2 cup of coffee? ;) Enjoy your day -- Robin

Qtpies7 said...

Let me be the second to tell you my kids behave in public!
I've always had the rule that someone better tell me that my kids were so well behaved before we leave the store or they are all in trouble! LOL
They actually are good in the store, but they are not perfect kids. I have 7, and I totally loved your story! Feels like my life.
I can't wait to have the time to go through your archives, I'll be back next week.
If you can tear yourself away from all the emails, stop by my blog for some give-aways and a contest.
You made my day, too! Loved it!

Michelle W. said...

I'm happy that the auction turned out so well for you!

Even though I only have 4 kids, I can totally relate! (DH and I took them mattress shopping yesterday...NEVER again! They though they were in a trampoline store!)

Thanks for the laugh!
Michelle

Vivian M said...

Thank you for sharing your sense of humor with all of us that can relate. I loved your auction (it is being spread faster than a computer virus!) and am now reading your blog. You really do have a special talent (apart from being Mom) and should continue to share it with your newly found fan base!

Ann Margaret Lewis said...

You are a humorist of the ilk of Erma Bombeck. You MUST find a way to do this professionally. I am a professional writer and you do have it, sister. BTW, I'm #7 from eight children and my sister has 9. I only have one - and he's enough to make up for those I never can have (fertility issues...long story). You are blessed and talented. Please continue to write.
--Ann

Jenny Kim said...

Suburban mom becomes international best selling writer. The next J.K. Rowling, state side! I do see alot of similarities between her writing and yours, you're a great story teller and your writing is easy to read...your words just flow...

Congrats on the job offers! :)

Pattie Clark said...

Oh my gosh, I'm roaring over here (Ottawa, Ontario)...I've got 5 kids, youngest being 6 1/2 month old twin boys...I've already gone through somewhat of your Ebay auction grocery store recollection ;-) but i think it's gonna get a WHOLE lot worse...I'll keep your comments in my mind!!

Thank you for telling it like it is. The "real" life of a mom, much less of a mom with more than 3!! ;-)

Pattie
(got your ebay link from a Yahoo group, too!!)

Beth said...

hilarious :)

Sarah - in a wet United Kingdom said...

WOW, I've just been sent your blog link and having been shopping (in the rain today with 3 kids (under 7) in tow, I know I can do it again!! All I ended up with was having to have some tomatoes that the littlest sank his teeth into!

Sheli said...

a friend of mine sent me the link to your auction today, 'cause i was having a bad day and he knew, after hearing all the stories about my daughter, that i'd appreciate it. I did! :) I leave stories in my blog about my daughter. I'm a single mom and I only have the one, I can't even imagine having 6 of her --- do you think you'd notice if someone foisted another child off on you? say a .. 9 yr old, red headed, very talkative, energetic, imaginative, sneaky but adorably cute while she's doing it girl? hypothetically of course, not that I would have gone to your auction site and found the address and slapped a stamp on her head and taken her to the dreaded post office or anything ... honest.

Thanks for the laugh!
Sheli

AutumnFawn said...

Wow, I just read about your auction on a friend's blog. Way too funny! I hate shopping with 3 kids! I usually try and stop at a gas station and buy icees before going to the store, so their hands and mouths are occupied for at least a little while!!

Jennifer said...

I'm not a mom, I love to grocery shop, and I can't empathize with anything that you've written about, but I have to tell you that your ebay post (forwarded to my entire office) was hillarious and well written (as I'm sure you've heard). Good job Supermom!

Kara said...

Friend on a messageboard linked to your auction lol. Hilarious! You seem swamped from all the publicity, I can't imagine having so many readers for my blog.

Anonymous said...

I had to leave a comment for you. The photos are priceless. I think many of us "30'somethings" had the same outfits. How 'bout posting a current photo?

- Just another mother :)

Quiltedblessings said...

Okay I am laughing so hard. I read your Ebay auction yesterday, and it was like reading a page from my own diary. I have 5 kids (Tim is 12, Josh is 9, Alyssa is 8, Matt is 6, and Joey is 2). Grocery Stores, ugh. I too have had to make up odd concoctions from the refridgerator. It is amazing how creative we must be in order to avoid the grocery store! I have been known to go at midnight to the all night convenience store when the kids are all asleep and my hubby can stay with them. My husband is currently a full time college student, so his time is pretty full. I will be keeping an eye on your blog for further comical entertainment. You remind me of me! LOL And I fully agree on the reality show answer! I would die if the world could see me 24/7! Moms in my area call me "wonder mom", its only cause I don't have a nanny, housekeeper or cook. LOLOL Good luck with school starting, as I am sure that you are looking forward to it as much as I am!

Keri Jackson said...

Thank you so much for the laughs!!!

MKelley said...

I have 5 and I dread going to the grocery store too.

My kids do OK... but still I avoid grocery shopping alone with them like the plague. I can see my 9yo trying to sneak stuff by me in the cart. I am not telling him about this because he doesn't need any more ideas.

Thanks for the laughs!

WEB said...

If I was a Publisher I would sign you up sweetie. I love to read and you had me from begining to end on your ebay post. Awesome Writing!

The Estrogen Files said...

SO funny! I linked you in my blog, too. Thanks for the gigglicious Thursday.

Elizabeth said...

I just wanted to thank you for the laugh. As a mom of a child with severe disabilities, who loves to scream in the grocery store, while the 12 year old runs up and down the aisles with her in her wheelchair......banging into each end cap and weaving in and out of other carts....yelling 'here we go!' I understand the hating of grocery shopping. Oh....and he understood sarcasm at an early age too.

xtina said...

Wow! I just read your listing and girl, let me tell you, you have a gift! I don't care if you have no formal training, didn't go to college, whatever, you can write! Truly HI-larious. The wit and sarcasm literally oozes from your pores. Please keep writing, because you have me hooked now!

neuropoet3 said...

I just have to add a comment as well :) - I really needed the laughs you gave me today. I'm going to add a link to your blog on mine (not that I get many visitors :) but I want to make sure anyone who stops by gets their share of the smiles). :) Thanks for reminding all the moms out there that we're not alone... :)

~Jenny

Michelle said...

Hello there, I'm a mom of 2 (and I stop there) but I have to admire you for being a wonderful mom to 6 kids and having an awesome sense of humor! I will be back here often to be entertained! :)

Kelly said...

I have 4 kids ages 5,3, and 18 mo old twins. I get so tired of people asking if they are all mine!I mean who would actually submit themselves to the torture of taking 4 (or 6)kids out in public, if they didn't have to! I see people looking at me and I just want to blurt out:

Yes, they are all mine!

Maybe we'll have more, maybe we won't! Either way it's none of your business!

I am also glad they are mine and not yours!

Thanks for the compliment, but I am old enough to have this many kids!( I am 27)

Maybe I'll have a t-shirt made to wear everytime we go out!

that girl said...

I will put Incontinence Warnings on my posts from now on.

Or hand out free Depends at the door ;)

Seriously, I shop with two munchkins and come away looking like I was jumped by a pack of wolves. You're a brave woman.

Thanks for the laughs.

Jenee said...

Soooo, I just totally ignored my kids for the last two hours reading EVERY post on your blog. Only stopping to, clean up an entire bowl of otameal off the floor, use magic eraser ( love that thing) to get Sharpie marker off of my granite, pop nuggets and soup in the microwave, wipe two hineys, and once again clean an entire bowl of chicken noodle soup off the floor. You are my hero...i think I found the only way ( other than rum) to find sanity in the middle of the day. You are so totally going on my favorites list!! You rock girl!! Love the pics too!!!!!

Anonymous said...

After reading your story on eBay I just had to check out your blog! You are hilarious! I feel your pain and I only have 2 kids....one who turns 3 in October and a 2 month old. Kudos to you for having 6 kids.

Melly said...

Hi there Dawn,
just found your auction and your blog. A German blogger posted your links on her blog and well....I'm a lemming...lol
Just wanted to let you know, that you really made my day. Thanks for letting us other Moms know, that we are not alone!
I'm a singlemom of 3 daughters and i dread going shopping with all of them, i usually end up with much more than i needed to buy and most of the stuff i really needed got forgotten on the way...so i think i can relate somehow....*biggrin*
I also wanted to send you much strength and patience in a big "backpack" filled with love.
Love and hugs
Melly

Cindy T said...

You are too funny. I saw that you listed your age as 29 & thought, "Wow, she's been busy". Then I saw your childhood pictures and knew what happened to all of my old clothes! (I do believe that someone's plaid polyester pants are on fire.)

You've made my day. Thanks!

Jessica said...

You rock! Your sense of humor is refreshing (not unlike a bite of bar soap in the morning!) I posted the following on cafemom.com and received numerous emails offering psychiatric services. Want to know what's wrong with the world?? No damn sense of humor. Oh yea, and the following is true and written by me, but I USUSALLY only share it with moms who would understand!

Superman AKA Toddler Fever
Having a second child is a lot like having a second lobotomy. The first one makes you weird, the second makes you certifiable. My first son, darling boy that he is, was a bad starter child. No terrible twos, no bed wetting, never hurt small animals for fun. Almost five years into being parents we said, “We must be good at this!” and tempted fate by having another. After all, we’d been asked to be god parents after being told a certain someone hoped our influence would steer her child to be like our precious golden boy. Other parents asked our advice and we gave it, secretly wondering what was so hard about raising a small child. Ha.


My second child is… well… bad. Okay maybe not bad, but his prospects for the Nobel Peace Prize went out the window when he hit his brother in the head with a 2X4. And laughed. He looks so much like our other, sweet child, but then he looks me in the eye while stabbing the cat with a Play-Doh knife and I wonder, “Who is this little sociopath?”


I used to think bad things about women whose children threw tantrums in stores, pitched food on the floor in restaurants, and punched other kids in day care. Now I’m eating crow because my own little one is doing those same things. Only he puts his own twist on it. He doesn’t just throw food. He launches it at the waitress with a makeshift catapult. He eats apples at the store and throws the cores at other kids. He kicks trees while telling anyone who listens, “Gotta kick the tree, gotta kick the tree.” I’m not sure if he’s like Dustin Hoffman in Rain Man or like Mike Tyson off his meds. One recent evening he answered the phone and announced, “No more phone calls!” and hung up. My frightened friend – who has seen the dangerous side of the little tyke – almost called the National Guard for fear we were all locked in the basement and a 3 year old was now in charge.


All this time I tried to shrug it off by repeating Kids Will Be Kids as if it were a life (or at least sanity) saving mantra. Who cares if people run from him like a capitol hill page runs from Mark Foley? Well, embarrassment came recently, along with an attempt at gender reassignment. You see, at a birthday party my little one was playing –unsupervised- in a bedroom with two other small children. I figured they’d get along well since one of them seems to be the reincarnation of Mengele. I’m making nice with other parents in another room when my bundle of willful defiance came running out … with a negligee. He had it around his neck and trailing behind him, a la Superman, and ran through the living room and into the kitchen, where owner of said nightie was doing the cake and ice cream thing. I’ve never been so embarrassed as I was fighting to take it off him and handing it back to the mortified owner. In front of 20 of her closest friends and neighbors. Later that night, back in the safety of my own home where he can kick trees and throw food without the fear of social rejection (just numerous time-outs and threats of being sold into slavery) when he ran into the kitchen and said “I’m just like you, Mama!” I cringed before even turning around this time. There he was, smiling the smile of the deranged, with my $25 NARS lipstick applied so heavily around his little cherub looking mouth that it made the Joker look tame. (I have a pic of this, if only I could find it)


At that point I poured a glass of red wine, and told him, “Great job, kiddo. Go show your daddy!” and locked myself in my bedroom. I came out again when the house was quiet, much later in the evening. My husband stood in the kid’s room looking lovingly into their sleeping faces. I’m afraid the little one threatened to break his knee caps if he sensed any foul plots afoot, like military school applications, because all my husband would say was “Aren’t they beautiful?”

Wisconsin said...

Ok so 27 years of my life and I thought I was the funniest person alive....hhmmmpppffff...looks like i have some competition out there! LOL you are great I can't stop reading!!!!!

Kelly said...

Hey, I really don't think this happened to you. You just followed me around the last time I went grocery shopping. JK of course. I have 6 kids also. Taking them to the grocery store is oh so much fun. I read the post to my daughter who is the oldest of the bunch. She is old enough to realize how many people ask, are they all yours? Once I had them all in McDonald's this older lady played 20 questions with me and was rather rude. My favorite question she asked me was "Who helps you?"
Great post on Ebay!! It was so close to home!! Bookmarking you!!
Kelly

Heather said...

LOLOLOL! Add me to the wet undie list. OMG. My son is tapping on te keyboard with me so don't be suprised if this says something odd...but rally - I only have 4 kIdS and PeoplE ask me all the time if I am mormon which..i-ncidently I am so do they ask you that too????
My9 year old has taken a large piece f cotton batting and has taped it onto her body like a dress. I better go before she sews it to her dress form...my son.

Patrik "BP" Andersson said...

Well, bloggers aren't the only one to post the auction link.
Here for instance is a game forum:
http://boards.swirve.com/board.cgi?boardset=earth&boardid=alliance&thread=23

Much obliged for the read M'm :)

danakat said...

I feel half your pain. I have 3 kids, plus a Golden puppy, and a husband...so make that 5 kids.
I think we might have been separated at birth. Our writing style is so similar...the only difference is you get accolades and kudos; I get destruction reigning supreme as I try to scrounge a couple of minutes to post on my blog. Come "visit" when you've got the time: herwigfamily.blogspot.com
You know the old saying...
"When you get to the end of your rope; tie a knot and hang on."
Sometimes the ends are a little frayed, but mommy spit works everytime.

Patrik "BP" Andersson said...

Unless you guessed it already, you are now famous. :)
This comes from the game forum for Earth2025:
http://boards.swirve.com/board.cgi?boardset=earth&boardid=alliance&thread=23

Tracy (Alabama) said...

Dawn, are you a military wife? You mentioned it, so I was just wondering. I am a military wife and I have done it alone w/ him overseas. The sad part is I do it alone when he's state side, so it's really not that big of a difference!!!

Your blog brightens my day!!! I'll take all the humor I can get.

Brianna Keith said...

You should also leave "Do not read if you have recently had abdominal surgery" Warnings. I recently had my gall bladder removed and man was i hurting from reading your blogs. but they are soooooo addicting.

Thanks for the Laughs
Keep it up

Angela said...

I just have to jump on the bandwagon here and say you certainly made me laugh out loud! Good thing I had just used the bathroom! I think one reason I laughed so hard is that I can relate so well. I'll think of you when I take my four shopping later this afternoon. Maybe it will seem a bit more bearable knowing other moms out there detest it as much as I do. Misery certainly does love company.

Rivster said...

Oh my gosh -- so, so funny!!

Anonymous said...

I am one of those military wives going it alone with 3 kids. And let me tell you, your blog has made me laugh so hard, and made me realize to lighten up some!! You should really write a book. This stuff is great!!

Anonymous said...

I saw your eBay items and looked at your blog. What a hilarious experience for you... glad you sold the cards and kudos to you for all you do with your children! My favorite is the Wiggles, too!

Anonymous said...

LOL No wonder you are getting so many hits.... I got two emails this morning with a link to your eBay listing with instructions to read your description. So then of course I had to find your blog.. after reading it I think you and I must have married the same man.. Mine is deceased now though. My hubby never spent ANY of our 20 anniversaries with ME. He was either on a short vacation with his mom OR the neighbor man... hmmm I wonder. And Forget Mother's Day... I wasn't HIS mom so I got nothing. AND Christmas??? He handed me $20 one day to go buy gifts for ME to wrap and put under the tree from him and the kids. AND I had orders to go to the hardware store where they were having "Dollar Daze" so I could stock up on wooden spoons, pot holders, etc. LOL
Keep up entertaining us.
Louise from Alberta, Canada

kerrie said...

I know you've got a million comments to wade through, but as a mom of 5 under 8 (and I'm 30), I get the "are they all yours?" question constantly. I'd love you to blog all your answers to that question. Oh and the "don't you know what causes that?" question too. I don't have enough imagination to come up with good things on the spur of the moment. If you post yours, I'll copy a few down to have on my wrist when I go into town! I LOVE the one about never having seen them all before!! Gotta use that one!
God bless,
K in Oregon

Anonymous said...

ABsolutely made my day!! Thanks

kblbdb said...

I am the father of 3. My wife and I are considering a 4th. Our youngest is 2 now so enough time has passed that we are getting past the "we can't go through this again" stage (which we went through with the first 2 as well). As a Dad I have it a little easier and I think I can handle a 4th, but I have serious concerns about what it will do to my wife's sanity. Any tips from your mothers of 4+ kids? Everyone told us that the 3rd one would be the easiest, but that hasn't been the case. Maybe the 4th one is the easiest?

rlclark93654 said...

I didn't even see the auction but a friend printed out your story, I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. I was have a you-know-what kind of day at work and you just turned it around, thank you, thank you, thank you, please write a book.......

Anonymous said...

I just got back from school supply shopping with 4 of my 5 children. I got such a laugh from your auction. I love your "are they all yours" responses. I'm going to have to use some of them. Thanks for the laugh!

cyndi71 said...

I am a stay at home mom of two (and #3 due Oct 9th) - I just discovered your blog and it is a shame you do not get paid to write the things you write. It will be my mission to find you a freelance job you can do from home - maybe for a magazine or newspaper - you are too funny not to be shared with the world!!
Cyndi
p.s. One question... those arent really your kids names, right?? Spaz? Princess?

Anonymous said...

You are absolutely hysterical..I'm going to start tuning in on a regular basis

Cindy said...

Loved your ebay auction (that description was too much!) You've got a great sense of humor. Thanks for linking to your blog --I'll be reading it!

Lynne said...

Loved IT, thanks for the laugh!!! Oh the memories! I had to forward the auction on to my mom to see if she could relate to your story. My mom had all 5 of us "darlings" in 4 1/2 years (last 2 are twins). To say we were all perfect angels would be a big ole laugh.

Cherie said...

You crack me up! I only have 2 (4 and 2.5) and I see my life in your blog. LOL We are a military family - with daddy currently deployed - so the laugh was greatly appreciated. Good news though is that he'll be home in a couple weeks!

Thank you again for taking the time to write about your life. It makes me feel not quite so alone in the journey.

Anonymous said...

I was sent a link to your ebay page and totally agree with everyone. Your writing is very witty and creative. Just had to share this response to the question "Are they all yours".....
A woman asks a man who is traveling with six children,
"Are all these kids yours?"
He replies, "No, I work in a condom factory and these are
customer complaints."

Liz said...

Ifollowed a link to your hilarious ebay auction for the Pokemon cards via a homeschool yahoo group. I then turned around and emailed it to everyone I know, posted it on my blog and my own homeschool yahoo group. I added you to my bloglines.

You write a lot like a friend of mine writes about her kids and experiences, you might like her blog. What Makes a Housewife Crazy: http://crazedmommyofthree.blogspot.com

If you visit my blog, be sure to leave me a message

Erin - ExpectingExecutive said...

What a treat! Thank you for the self-interview...it really saved me some time.

Your story reminded me of when my mother took all four of us (I know, what a wimp only 4) to the grocery store. It was always such a chore! We would start with the pre-store lecture in the dark gold El Torino station wagon with naugahide seats and a strip of pretend wood paneling down the side. It would always begin with something like...."children, we are now going into the store. Be good or I will beat you. And, if you have a question or even begin to think you have a question, THE ANSWER IS AND WILL ALWAYS BE NO"

Sigh. No wonder my mom is crazy! LOL.

Very best to you and your tribe!

Erin
www.ExpectingExecutive.com

Helping Busy Mothers Manage Life's Details

Ashley said...

I just want to say, as the oldest of MANY kids, that you totally made me laugh as I remembered shopping trips growing up. So very very true.

I then sent the link to my mom, hoping to get her to smile and realize she was never crazy, just brave. :)

Anonymous said...

You are absolutely a hoot! Thanks for sharing that special blend of insane mother/humor/sarcasm. Your blog is going to be one of my daily pleasures from now on! I truly appreciate your ability to take those 'pull your hair out parenting moments' and make it funny enough to think I can go face the beasts, I mean beautiful children again, she does it times 6 all day and can still laugh about it! What a gift you give!
Thanks,
Sonia - mother of only 2 crazy, busy, but cute boys

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