Wednesday, August 22, 2007

The Answer Is...

Today I've had 77,000 hits to this blog. :::shaking head::: It blows my mind.
I stopped counting after the first three thousand pieces of email I received today. Although the auction is over, people are still leaving me tons of comments through Ebay.

Time for a little more question and answer - the part of the show where you ask me questions and I answer.

YOU: How old are you?
ME: Would you believe 29? No? My kids don't buy it either.

YOU: Did you grow up in New York?
ME: Nope. Although my three year old says "coffee" like his godmother (and much like Coffee Talk's Linda Richman) on Long Island.

YOU: Was the picture of you as a kid sitting by that statue taken at Wisconsin Dells?
ME: Nope, it was taken at Knott's Berry Farm in San Diego.

YOU: Would you like a job listing auctions on Ebay?
ME: Oh gosh no!

YOU: Do you homeschool?
ME: Are you outta your minds?! I know there are many benefits to homeschooling and kudos to all you who do (and from what I've read, there are many of you), but I really don't think I could give my kids a better education than what they're receiving in school. Oh yeah - and then there's the fact that I hardly have the patience to help them with their homework.

YOU: Are you a professional writer?
ME: No. I'm a professional diaper changer. I didn't go to college. I've never taken any writing courses. I actually wrote up that auction in about a half an hour.

YOU: How many kids are you planning on having total?
ME: Two.

YOU: Can you tell us how you made that cake?
ME: Yes. I'll write it in the comments under the cake post. It might take a day or two before I get to it.

YOU: Your husband must really cherish your sense of humor.
ME: I try not to let him see it for fear that I'll lose all power if he thinks I'm a pushover.

YOU: In reference to the picture of my three year old in the Stitch costume with the Darth Vader mask How can that poor kid see to walk?
ME: That poor kid has never walked. Ever. He runs.

YOU: Are you always sarcastic?
ME: I'm never sarcastic.
During a parent/teacher conference when my oldest was in kindergarten, his teacher told me, "Aj has an interesting sense of humor. He's sarcastic. Kids this age don't usually "get" sarcasm." Blushing guiltily, I replied, "Umm yeah, it comes from his father."

YOU: Would you consider doing a reality t.v. show?
ME: NOOOOOO! Are you kidding? You guys think I have patience now. If there were cameras following me around all day, you'd see that I lose my cool and yell at my kids on a regular basis.

YOU: Can I put a link to your auction/blog on my blog?
ME: Of course! From my stat counter I can see where people are coming from when they visit my blog. Although there were several from digg, fark, and reddit yesterday and this morning, they seem to have left and now I'm getting all these hits from mom's groups. Lots and lots of mom's message boards and parenting forums and such from across the world.

YOU: You're invited to join our group. Please stop by.
ME: I would love to join all your wonderful groups, but alas I don't think I could possibly find the time to contribute anything. When things settle down, I will stop by though.

YOU: Do you really shop at the Target on Randall in Algonquin?
ME: I have no idea where this is. I'm not sure where everyone got the idea that I shop there. I guess all the packages of ground round with fingerprints in them.

YOU: Which do you dislike more - taking your kids to the grocery store or to the post office?
ME: Yes.

YOU: Alton Brown had Kool Aid pickles on his show and they're big here in Mississippi. Have you ever tried them?
ME: Are you serious?! You EAT these?

YOU: You should be on Oprah.
ME: ROFL ROFL PIMP!!!!!!!

::::::::::drumroll::::::::::
And the number one question from YOU: Did the person who won pay you for the cards?
ME: Well, funny thing about that. The person who won the cards was actually a friend of mine! She changed her Ebay ID so I wouldn't recognize her. She has five little ones under the age of eight and her husband is in the military so she often has to go it alone. Now she understands how a grocery trip can drive you to drink. She wanted them for posterity and for the laugh. And yes, she popped a check in the mail so Paypal wouldn't take a cut.

And a couple of my favorite quotes from your mail...

"I have been mostly dead all day."

"It's inconceivable how a person could not like that movie!"

In reference to the woman with the kids who always behave perfectly "Her kids only behave because they're afraid of being beaten by the stick that's up her butt."

In reference to parenting "The days are long, but the years are short."


I want to apologize because apparently I've made a lot of moms wet their pants today. I'm sincerely sorry from the bottom of my heart. Having six children myself, I know what it's like to have to cross your legs when you laugh or sneeze. I will put Incontinence Warnings on my posts from now on.

I also want to thank all the military folk out there. So very many of you wrote to say that your husbands were deployed and you were going it alone. Thank you to your husbands for serving and protecting! And thank you to you for going it alone so they can serve and protect.

315 comments:

«Oldest   ‹Older   201 – 315 of 315
Lady_Dulcinea said...

Something is very wrong with me. I already have four children and yet reading your auction and blog make me want to have *MORE* children. Great writing and priceless children!

hippyjanet said...

After reading that I'm definatly going to put the babies down for a nap, have the neighbor girl come over for a min and go to the store by myself.

Mitchell Maddness said...

I about died reading your entry in Ebay! I have 3 little ones and I though I was busy!!

Thanks for making my day!

Laura37 said...

Wow I am amazed! Just amazed!!

I am the youngest of 6 kids!! I've Never been able to understand how my mother was able to keep her sanity while raising us! She ALWAYS got "Looks" from people when she took us all out! I bet you know those "Looks" I refer to! LOL

Anyway, You are Awesome!! Thanks for the laughs!

Dana said...

Found you through e-bay, and I thought your story was hilarious. Good luck selling the Pokemon cards.

scrapgeek said...

Thanks for giving me a laugh - you deserve a medal! I have passed the link to your auction to a few friends. And great idea to sell the cards -I will tuck that away for future use if necessary :)

Chris said...

You made my day. I have spent several very happy hours ignoring the kids(thank goodness for starwars DVD,s)I posted a link to your auction on www.badmothersclub.co.uk yesterday so you have fans in the UK too.

Lynne said...

This makes my 4 under 3-1/2 look easy. You are too funny! You should blurb your blog someday.

maven said...

You have talent.

I so enjoyed your auction listing . . . its been posted world wide, you know. :-)

Why? You?

Because you have talent.

Self-effacing humor and wit are in short supply.

Your husband is a lucky man.

Tell him an expert told you so.

Anonymous said...

A friend of mine shared your eBay posting which led me here. Oh my goodness, you are an absolute riot. I will check back with your blog regularly. My girlfriends and I love to laugh about life, parenthood, marriage, friendship... etc. I'm sure your blog is going to become a regular topic of conversation. Thanks for sharing your humor!

Mary Henaghan
mary.henaghan@cox.net

whitney said...

funny! loved the ebay listing. thanks for the laugh!

Amy said...

I spent the last several hours reading your entire blog. I have 5 kids so I can relate, but I could never be as entertaining a storyteller. Thanks for the laughs!!

SingForHim @ Real Life said...

I love your writing. Now I am going to have to add you to my insanely long list of blog subscriptions! Congrats for all the traffic, you deserve it!

Ronda Bracken said...

I am laughing so hard I am crying. Love the blog!

Lori's Light Extemporanea said...

Oh, honey, I've received scads of e-mails from my family and friends with your ebay listing in it. Somehow people think that I'll think they're funny (wonder why that would be) and I personally sent it to a (childless) friend who I thought needed cheering up today. I look forward to reading your posts more often, now that I've got you on my Bloglines.

Incontinence warnings would be welcome.

Tana said...

I'm sure you've stopped reading comments by now (I would have!) but I just wanted to thank you for the laugh! I have ten kids and I occasionally take *only* six to the grocery store to give myself a break. Your Grocery Store Lecture sounds eerily familiar... ;o)

nisha said...

I really enjoyed your ad and blog. It was posted on the military homeschoolers list, and I passed it on to a few other homeschool lists I'm on. Your blog is a new favorite of mine. You make me laugh, and some days I really, really need that. :) Thanks.

Big Mack & Fries said...

I Love your blog and ebay auction! I have 4 kids under age 6 and I have recently realized that I am "that mom" at the grocery store that all the other customers are staring at! It's refreshing to know that I am not the only one!! God bless you and your crew!

IFeedFormula said...

OMG this is the funniest thing I have read by far in awhile. I am SO adding you to my favorites list.

Taren said...

I love your answer to how many kids you plan on having!

Anonymous said...

Hi there! I have to agree with others that you should be a writer. I've thoroughly enjoyed reading your blog, and your eBay ad was precious. I have only two children but I still have the same Adventures in Shopping you do. At least I know I'm not alone LOL.

I sure hope you take some time to look into publishing a book, the world could use a little (or a lot) more humor. Thank you so much for sharing your stories. And I LOVE the picture of the chocolate baby at the top of your blog page. :)

-Valerie from Oregon

Vicki said...

I have added you to my blog roll. OMG I have not laughed that hard in FOREVER!! But can so relate to the grocery store and everything you had on there and I only have FOUR kids.

Rachael said...

congrats on being famous in the internet world :) I really did enjoy your ebay listing, I found it on the Diaperswappers.com website as a fourm post lol
have fun with your 6, I've got three and am wondering how I'll make it thru the grocery store once hubby leaves for training!

tAnYeTTa said...

HaHa at----
I will put Incontinence Warnings on my posts from now on.

Great blog, Loved the ebay post and your blog is hilarious!

Anonymous said...

You may not have gone to college, but you write and spell better than many people who have!

LT said...

I am a military wife, and once again my husband will be deploying soon, (also a stay-at-home-mom) I do remember the last time he left (although I only have one child) , it too can be overwhelming!!


You brought a smile to my face today!!

I definitely needed it!!!

Thank you SO SO MUCH!

Roxanne said...

I loved reading your eBay auction, as well as your blog. I have nine children, so I can completely relate to your experience in the grocery store. Congatulations on all of the attention! :)

Deb said...

Thank you thank you thank you for reminding me that humor goes a long way. :)

Hang in there!

Deb
P.S. I sent your eBay listing to my mom (of 7) and I am sure it tickled her funny bone!

Kristi said...

You are hilarious. 6 kids?!? Bless you, woman- I can't even imagine! Your e-bay write-up was hilarious...and I'm sure every parent could relate :)

draggunladee said...

Hehehehe...No Questions...Just laughing.
Thanks for sharing your story with everyone. My Dearest Friend from high school sent me your ebay link AND story *just in case it was gone by the time i logged on* In any case...I laughed so hard.
I have four kids myself..and I know how much fun shopping is with them. We have gotten home many many many times and both my husband and I have looked at one another and asked Did You Get That? LoL. Only difference...we would have thrown them in the fire outside! ;)
Thanks again for sharing your wonderful children with everyone! Good Luck with your clan!

AMom said...

i am sure you have already heard it what with all the comments you have already received and such... but wow - i am only halfway to the size of your brood and i relate... i wrote an entry on another blog of mine about a day in the city with my three... a day filled with trips to the (gulp) public bathroom - which i detest... especially with a 6 year old, 3 year old, and baby...yikes.

I like your writing style! And you can publish your own collection of tales for free (!) on lulu.com. Check it out - they even pay you and you set the price for your book. A publisher friend once told me about it and said its a great way to get started and get noticed too because you skip all of the pricey and time-consuming (not to mention rejection-filled) steps with traditional publishing for a first-time author. You should go for it - because I know with 77,000 hits, you will have a fan base!
Many blessings!
(my other blog with my own crazy kid tale: xanga.com/mochaspree)
my blogger - more for out-of-town relatives etc... i.e. just the basics
gfamilylife.blogspot.com
:)

Haley said...

I love reading all of your blogs. If you write a book.. I will by it in a heartbeat. You have an awesome sense of humor.
I posted this on
lakenormanmommies.com
and everyone loved it!!

beautifulone said...

Hi, I just came across your already ended ebay auction and it was the funniest thing ever! Oh my word, I was just rolling (or the equivalent of that while holding a four month old baby). My Mom could relate to you... She has five kids, currently ages 23-10 years. Three of them are still at home. I don't think we ever sneaked things into the cart, but I'm sure we would have if we thought about it. Of course, when we were with Dad we didn't even have to bother with sneaking - my three sisters and I would just look up at him, bat our pretty brown (and one set of hazel) eyes, and say please and we would get what we were wanting - so long as Mom wasn't nearby.

Right now I only have the one 4 month old baby boy, but I have to deal with my husband sneaking things into the cart! Isn't being a wife and mom fun?

tamara cosby said...

You might be my new favorite blog! HOW FUNNY CAN YOU GET! The thing is, I can totally relate (as I am sure others can!). I have 8 year old, 6 year old and twin 3 year olds...ha ha ha!!! I think we could be friends!

www.cosbyfamily.wordpress.com

luckystaracres said...

love your site! You could be a school bus driver and really loose it ;-)
dix

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the laughs even they did involve leaking bodily fluids...would you believe just tears?

Try lulu.com for your book if you want to self-publish or even putting together a PDF and offering it directly from your site (that way you get all the profit).

Good luck-look forward to reading more from you.

Mause (Velvet) said...

Hello from germany! What a beautiful and funny blog!!!! I take you to my favorites Links!!!

Stacie said...

I just saw your ebay auction and laughed harder than I've laughed in a *long* time!

Thank you for that!

I agree with the person who said you write like Erma Bombeck.

Laura Gayle said...

I'm sure you are getting tons of these sorts of messages so what's one more, right? :) Once all this settles down you should contact me. I am writing a book about being a young mom (I had my identical twin daughters when I was 16) and I would love to get some of your quotes to use. You're witty and quick, which seems effortless and not forced and I'd be honored if talk with me about using some of what you've already written about parenting. And you should really think about writing one yourself... less for the money and more because you are an excellent writer. I'm not, but I'm a great story-teller so... whatever. I'm linking to you, by the way... not that you need it. Best of luck!

Anonymous said...

You are one funny lady. I don't envy you your brood and grocery shopping. I do envy you your obvious enjoyment and humorous attitude towards it and them. I read this on a forum I go to and the person who posted a copy of your ebay ad titled it "The Next Erma Bombeck". I concur. I miss Erma Bombeck and to your credit you write as she wrote: tongue in cheek and honest as the day is long. Great stuff. Hope to read more.

srharris said...

I bet your scrapbooks have GREAT stories!!

Anonymous said...

Come to www.mayasmom.com when things settle down. You would love it.

Sherri said...

The "You have your hands full" comment was the worst when I would go to the store with my three babies...all under 3. I always told them...yes, well better full than empty.
I remember once going to Wal-Mart to simply BUY SOME BIBLE SCHOOL SUPPLIES and feeling like I had been run over twice by the time I got out. Now, I have had the "run over" feeling before, but this particular day was significant because in the middle of it all, my perceptive four year old asked me the question, "Mama, do you wish you didn't have any kids?" I picked her up and we both broke down crying. As bad as it was, it broke my heart that anyone, especially by babies, could think that I wanted it to be any other way.
Yes, my hands were full then and still are and I thank God for it every day. If I could freeze time now I would because I can't stand to think of the day when the last one of them falls from the nest.
I loved your post on EBAY because I was so you walking through that store. I have made it home with stuff that I had no recollection of buying and found things in little pants pockets that I feel quite sure that I didn't buy. It always feels great to read that others have been in the same shoes. Bless you and all the best to you and your precious family.

Shannon said...

Is there a Knott's Berry Farm in San Diego? The only one I know of is in Buena Park.

Anyway, you are hilarious! And have way more patience then me. I can barely handle the 3 kids I have, can't imagine what having 6 kids is like.

Thanks for the laughs :)

bananas said...

You are wonderful and HILARIOUS. My SIL sent me a link to your eBay autction, and then I started reading your blog. I have two kids. A 4 yr old crybaby and a 2 yr. old Jackass wannabe. I feel like a rank amateur compared to you.

libertarian mom said...

I know you have a lot of comments to weed through. But I have four children between the ages of 3 and 11. I had just gone grocery shopping, alone, the day before. And was adimant that I will NEVER take the four of them alone again. Your ebay description hit home. The fingers in the packages, the running me in the ankles, all of it. Thank you!

Emily and Moody said...

Pretty sure I've found my new best friend! You are the voice of many--thank you for making me pee in my pants!
Soon to be mom of 6-

merith said...

i just wanted to drop a line to say you are truly a humorist of the best sort. a friend of mine linked your ebay ad and to your blog. you are an inspiration to handle all you do with humor and grace. i know it's not easy to do.

thank you for sharing bits and pieces of your life.

speshulduck said...

A friend had a link to your eBay auction on her LiveJournal. I followed the link to your blog.

I have just started looking after my 2 godchildren, while their parents work. They also live in my house. I love your sense of humor and wanted to thank you for the daily laughs. :)

lisa's chaos said...

Overnight popularity! That's great! I'm sure you will neve ever notice my one little comment amongst the sea of others but as I guess we all did I loved your auction!

Think I know where that money will be going. . . buying more bandwidth. :)

I'll pop back in to see if you're still funny later.

~ Lisa, mom to 6 teenagers (did I already say I feel your pain?)

Anonymous said...

I just burnt my hamburger. I have just three daughters but boy can I relate! You are really funny!
Susan
www.fromthenarrows.wordpress.com

Raginghormones said...

Your ebay auction made my day and I'm sharing it with everyone I know. Thank you so much for that. You are a great wrier and I love your sense of humor!

Katie said...

Thank you for having good spelling and grammar. When so many people view such delicious writing, I hope they notice that it's not full of misused words, misspelled colloquialisms, and uncapitalized brand names that are probably a violation of trademark laws.

My name is Katie and I am hypercritical about writing. Your eBay post and your blog posts are absolutely a delight, and I hope you pass on your wonderful talent to your kids!

mum2twelve said...

(Tongue in cheek) You are TERRIBLE! So funny! I loved your eBay sale. My husband sells full time on eBay, and your sale left him thoughtful. LOL

I found the link to your sale on Danielle Bean's website.

I so know what you mean about shopping. Although I am mum2twelve, I think the most I have taken shopping with me is 8!

Blessings
Christi aka mum2twelve

Cecilia said...

Hi. I don't know if you're aware of this but I found my way to your auction from a Swedish webpage http://pcforalla.idg.se/2.1054/1.117389 I love your sarcastic way of writing! And hope that your family are and keep doing well. Love from Sweden

Anonymous said...

So let us know how much you make from the advertising from this blog this month now your hit rate has gone through the roof! - Hope you make a killing :)

Kila said...

Just found you, and I love your writing!

I have 3 active boys, and can sure relate to your writings, LOL. Like you, I dread taking them anywhere, and often put off the simplest errands for days or weeks. Shopping is always embarrassing. But yes, it's fun ;)

Eric Valentine said...

I just love your blog, wow talk about true life! :)

I want to ask to link to your site, but I went ahead anyway, just in case you don't get to read this far down the comment list! :)

Keep on writing, a book really is a must.

Eric Valentine said...

Great blog, I went ahead and linked to your site, reckoned you wouldn't get this far down the comment list to read my asking anyway. :)

Kami said...

This is my 2nd or 3rd comment on your blog and I wanted to add another. I stayed quite late last night and read your blog all the way thru and laughed so hard, I was worried I was going to go into labor 6 weeks early! I also got your Ebay link on a yahoo group and passed it on to all my other groups and a few friends! Plus I posted it on my myspace! LOL! If I helped at all to add to your fan base then great because you are hysterical and deserve it! Hope you had the best day you can! God bless you!

~Kami

Gertie said...

I love reading your blog, and I can tell from looking at your pics you are just about my age. The Final Net generation!

Gertie said...

I love to read your posts!

btw, I can tell we are about the same age - the Final Net generation! LOL

Salinda said...

Bless your heart! What an honor to be the woman who has made so many folks laugh.

Aren't our kids so darned cute and wonderful? Yes, I keep reminding myself of that too!

BTW, I also added a link to your blog on my blog. I can't help but pass on your "zest." ;)

Diana from Seattle said...

I guess kids never change. I am 60, a mother of 3 married girls and grandmother of 4 with 2 more on the way. Your shopping experience takes me back to my shopping days, and with only 3 in my cart! You are a delightfully funny writer....could you be channeling Erma Bombeck?

Beth said...

Loved the ebay comments, I so understand as a mom to 14. I think they are right you should write a book for us mom of more then normal amounts.. we need the laughter.
Thanks
Beth mom to 14 soon to be 15
www.PanClanInMN.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

Loving your post! I was just sitting here drinking my wine and eating a twinkie when I got a link to your ebay sale through my e-mail. Thanks for a good crack up that I really needed. You are a gifted writer. Keep up the good work. You deserve all of the positive attention. We moms have to band together!!!!

Becca Saunders said...

I am absolutely, positively putting your blog in my favorites file and visiting daily from now on. I swear, I'm not a stalker. Just another (much amused) mom who found you through your ebay ad. You are tooo freaking funny. Your writing reminds me so much of Erma Bombeck- but better. ;-) I must agree with the 'writing a book' scenerio. I'd buy it in a heartbeat.
Keep up the great work! (And try not to duct tape the kids to the walls... :-D )
Take care,
Becca Saunders

Kahrytan said...

Now that you got thousands of readers, keep our attention. Keep up the wit and humor. And maybe you can capitalize it and start a college fund for the kids.

The Gang's All Here! said...

This has to be one of the funniest blogs I have ever read. Your auction and your recent posts had me cracking up out loud and wiping the tears from hilarity. I found you from a friend and I'll be sure to be back. Keep on blogging, you are spreading "good medicine" with your cheerful heart and light-hearted look at the world's hardest job! Thanks for the giggles.

Anonymous said...

Wonderfully funny! I'm only the mother of 3, but I'm also the oldest of 6 kids. Believe me, your kids will grow up only slightly messed up!

Thanks for making my day with your ebay story. Not only are you funny, but you use proper spelling and grammar, so you have to have more than 14 brain cells left!

Karen said...

OMG.. Ineeded that laugh from your ebay auction. I have 4 kids and that day I just went to the commissary and my kids were monsters that day. I had a gallon of milk bust and splatter everywhere because two of mine were fighting over it. Yes I can so relate and am glad I am not alone.I guess the old saying goes, I am not laughing at you but with you. You are a genius to do that auction. I will remember this one when one of mine sneak something in the cart. Kudos to you!!!

ShabbyInTheCity said...

Saved to favorites!!!
Thanks for lowering my blood pressure with a good laugh...oh gosh I typed blogg pressure the first time...

Tam said...

I don't have time to read all your comments...have to catch an early flight to pick up my baby tomorrow morning, but I found you through adoption.com when somebody posted a link to your Ebay auction. Yours is exactly the kind of blog I love to read and I have now bookmarked it. I can't wait to read through it when I get back from Guatemala!

Greggie B said...

Are These your kids?.

phthaloblu said...

I will keep this short as I know you have no time. :-) That auction description was hysterical and my kids and I laughed our butts off. What a great auction and so well written. I loved your different answers to the same question. Wicked sense of humor. Thanks for making my day!

MMrussianadoption said...

Very funny. Maybe we should make our Ebay auctions more story like. Beats the boring descriptions.

4 Girls 4 fun (Culpeper, VA) said...

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! Finally someone has put my life into words! Please write a book (in your free time hahaha)and I will certainly buy it! As a mother of 4 small girls, I understand the grocery store bit completely! My friends & family just think I'm a raving lunatic when I even try to describe a typical day in my household and finally someone has brought to justice my claims!! May God richly bless you and your family. And PLEASE WOULD SOMEONE FROM PRIMETIME PICK UP THIS STORY AND RUN WITH IT!!!

Tamara said...

I had to crack up. You are fantastic. It's too bad you dont have a mysapce, I'd definitely befriend you so I could know for sure I wouldnt miss out on any of your blogs.

I plan on having around 5 kids someday...I love big families. They're busy and hard to take care of sometimes, but definitely worth it.

anissa said...

I have just found your link through ebay, i am in Brisbane Australia and i have to let you know that you rock girly...p.s. can i link you blog to mine, i know so many people in the same boat as you and would love to read your antics.... you have made my week, and yes i also we my pants.

xxxxxxxxx

Fuji Mama said...

Thank you, thank you, thank you! What I love about your writing is that it keeps everything in perspective. I sometimes get sick of people whining about their kids or about how hard parenting is. I love how you are able to vent and complain in a humorous way. It helps me as a parent keep a better perspective and laugh . . . a LOT!

Melissa said...

I had one of my Girl Scout Moms send me the link to your blog and ebay site and I laughed so hard I had to stop reading to catch my breath. I love Erma Bombeck and you are so in tune with her! Totally outrageous!! I could see my 2 girls doing everything your children do in the store. The next time they sneak something into the basket, I am selling it likeyou did!! I am sure I couldn't be nearly as funny!! THANK YOU for making my day!!

Jenni said...

I thought I was tired after raising 5 younger brothers and sisters, and now having two Leo boys of my own! You're my new hero...kid-grime covered cape and all...

Lulu said...

I'm not a mother yet, but I must say your eBay listing and this blog are hilarious. I'm definitely bookmarking this for when I need a good laugh. You're awesome.

mcs811 said...

i dont know why i'm, telling u this, but i actually googled how to make a grilled cheese sammich yesterday... adn only to find i had no butter...
Can u make grilled chz without butter?

maxchs said...

hmm...maybe create a "faqs" would help all your stalkers..ehem i mean fans, viewers or anyone...

Jagular said...

Do people ask your husband if all those kids are his, too?

AmandaMcGregor74 said...

Delightful. You have made my day! Found your auction link on a friend's blog (who had found it on a friend's blog and so on). Have spent a wonderful time wasting hour reading your blog. What fun! And have now linked your blog to mine. http://artyamanda.blogspot.com
Stop by some time if you have time.
Amanda in Western Australia.

Missi said...

I know how ya feel, I have 5 and going shopping is not an experience it is an adventure!!

I try to do that as LITTLE as possible as I don't want to end up in a straight jacket...

AllyZabba said...

You crack me up. Thanks for letting us in on your life!

momof7wonders said...

oh my gosh! I so totally understand where you're coming from. I have 7 children, am married to a husband who is in the Air Force and besides laundry, I absolutely LOATH grocery shopping.

Kudos to you for making it funny and making me realize I'm not the only one going through the types of things that bug me!!

Kim said...

Comment moderation? Approval of comments? Well that sure takes the fun out of things! Seriously, I can't blame you. No, I'm not a blogger from a "mom" list--thankfully my two offspring are adults most of the time and haven't seen fit to "bless" me with grandkids thus far, but I absolutely appreciate a good sense of humor--the more sarcastic, the better. I sent my friend Sharon over to read your eBay listing last night since she was feeling out of sorts, and I see she left you a comment earlier. Yes, you've now been appointed the person in charge of cheering everyone up. Lucky you, huh?! Unless you'd rather be appointed America's goodwill ambassador to the world? It's gotta be an easier job than the one you have now! In any event, thanks for the entertainment!

Andrea said...

thank you for describing my life. I'm not alone!

Amy said...

Having 4 kids myself, I don't have time to see if anyone else has mentioned it, but if you aren't already, you should come to the mothering.com forums... well, not "should", but you'd definitely be welcome there =)

Roxy said...

I had six also... I used to tell people they followed me home...Loved the blog and the ebay ad..I know exactly how it is to shop with chewed coffee cake in your hand!! and my husband wondered why I took to shopping at 10pm at night when the Ralphs decided to stay open 24 hours!! Thanks for the laugh!

Bonnie B. said...

hello..came across your blog from another blog i was visiting. you are hillarious! i'm sure you've heard that over and over the last little while, but seriously, you have a way with words that will help me get through motherhood. mother of 4 with a "surprise" 5th on the way. went to target earlier today, alone, except for my 4 childeren. left the store with the 3yo throwing a fit on the floor in front of the carts, the 11yo looking terrified that i am really leaving the 3yo at the store, and threatening to throw the other two in the garbage. I so totally kow how you feel!

Thanks!

Ruth said...

OMG...I know my comment's unoriginal, but you are absolutely hysterical. I just had to share a comment about when you mentioned your parent/teacher conference. I had the same conference. BUT, my response to the teacher (when the teacher said my dd understood sarcasm) was a very sarcastic "really??? I can't imagine why."

bujoy said...

your post turned me off having kids even more! :D

you are the bees' knees.

Linda said...

wow...I can so relate to your story. I just read your auction...it was so funny! I have 4 kids myself..they are all teenagers now...but boy do I remember shopping when they were little. I can't count the number of times my kids sneaked items passed me, and I especially hated the question "they all yours?" I felt like attaching a sign to my forehead before entering the store that said "YES..the brat pack are mine." LOL Just wanted to say thanks for brightening my day. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time!

Brenda said...

The picture of you as a child with the statue is from Knott's Berry Farm but is located in Buena Park, Calif. not in San Diego, Calif. It's about a 2 1/2 hour drive away from San Diego.

Just informing you. Because I grew up near there about 40 years ago :) Bren

Rhiannon said...

Thank you soo much for the laugh...and for making me rethink the "are they all yours?" question :) I have three kiddos, four, nineteen months and three months...I tend to get the...how close in age are they? all the time...fun times :) Have a great day!!

Melinda said...

Hi Dawn, have a look at http://carolinablogconsultants.blogspot.com/2005/11/turn-your-blog-into-book-and-sell-it.html it talks about turning your blog into a book. There are companies that do it!!!!

Take care!

hevisko said...

PS: Homeschooling might be "fun" with 6kids... they'll learn from each other.
(And that way you have less work to do ;^)

Stacey said...

Congrats on all the hoopla and hits to your blog and auctions! Keep up the great work!

Alabaster Weathergirl said...

Awesome! Thanks for the laugh! You sound like a pro. Question for you......

Has any one of your cherubs ever, EVER gotten a large spray can of PAM cooking oil and sprayed the whole kitchen floor with it??

If so, how in the world do you get it all off? Hot water and Clorox floor cleaner ain't cuttin' it!!

Stephanie
Alabaster, AL aka Weathergirl1

Breezie said...

found my way here via your ebay auction, I am soooo glad you have a blog and I am going to give you some linkylove, did you know you can earn money with the type of writings you do, you need to check out my blog at http://forumfinder.net to see what I do that is currently making me some nice income.

Anonymous said...

I know you're swamped with comments...just had to add mine to the mix. Your auction ad terrifies me to the core. I have a 2 yr. old, and I'm pregnant with #2. So far, I can still keep my son contained...what scares me most is that I still remember how I was as a kid in the grocery store. My mom used to pretend she didn't know us (there are 4 of us) and would leave us at the toy aisle, where we would proceed to bounce every ball on the shelf over the adjoining aisles. And you know what they say about paybacks...
By the way, the only reason I'm "anonymous" is b/c I don't think I have an identity. Scary, huh?

Melanie said...

You are like the kid who made the Million Dollar Pixel Page! How cool!!! Congratulations!

I am always dreaming of my son doing something and someone discovering him, this is the next best thing, him picking up something to make me or him famous! :-) Seriously, Congratulations!

Jules said...

Funny funny girl! Your auction gave me great laughs tonight!

Anonymous said...

You may not be aware of Ebay's rules but your friends and family are forbidden (for various obvious reasons) from bidding on your items...even if you can prove you weren't aware of it. Besides, think about it, if you were going to sell your item to a friend why would you pay the listing fees to list on Ebay (also considering you didn't want to pay the Paypal fee). My gut feeling is...clever story, glad you could make some people laugh but an honest member of the hard-working Ebay community would relist the cards and ask their friends to refrain from bidding.

tiffany said...

This is an amazing blog. Thanks for all of the laughs. I hope you get some "me" time!

Anonymous said...

My kids are always bad in public. When my hubby points this out and compares them to "good" kids nearby, I ask him" Don't you think there might be something wrong with those kids-they seem too perfect..at least our kids are smart enough to misbehave". Ha, Ha... If it's quiet and the kids are being good, a good mom knows there's trouble brewin'! If you ever have time tp read this, rock on!
marie..just another mom living in the land of bedlum!

Juloyes said...

HILARIOUS! Can't wait to keep reading!

Anonymous said...

Greetings from Holland, from a mom who has wet her pants from laughing;-)

Anonymous said...

Hi Dawn

My name is Candice Adams and I am a consultant at Greenleaf Book Group in Austin, Texas. We are a highly selective book publisher/distributor that makes it possible for a writer to retain his/her publication rights and still compete with the major publishing houses. We have seen mention on eBay and your blog about you writing a book and would love to talk to you more seriously about it. Please contact me at either candice@greenleafbookgroup.com or give a call at (512) 891-6100. I look foward to hearing from you.

motherofonly2 said...

"I want to apologize because apparently I've made a lot of moms wet their pants today. I'm sincerely sorry from the bottom of my heart. Having six children myself, I know what it's like to have to cross your legs when you laugh or sneeze. I will put Incontinence Warnings on my posts from now on."

You know, I'd been able to smile and giggle through most of your writings, but this one really nearly had ME wetting MY pants!

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