Thursday, July 19, 2007

What's for Dinner?

I have good news! I no longer have a nephew without a name. His name is Dominick. Well, it's not exactly Dominick. It's actually Samuel Dominick, but he won't be called Samuel. Or Sam. Or Sammy. See, my brother-in-law is Sam. He's actually Samuel the 48th or something like that. He wanted a Samuel the 49th. My sister did not. They compromised. He's Samuel on paper, but Dominick in real life. Does any of this make sense? Despite the fact that my sister didn't take any of my kids' name suggestions (Monkey, Lightning McQueen, or Jellybean), she and Sam picked out a good name for their little cutie-pie!
I have some more good news! Baby pooped out five staples this morning (don't ask me how I know exactly how many she passed!) She's none the worse for wear either. When I took her back to the hospital for a repeat x-ray this afternoon, I got to take a look at her x-ray. I wish I had a copy to post on my blog for posterity as it was rather interesting to see yet more staples still in her intestines somewhere. Hopefully, those will make an appearance tomorrow.
And now, for a little dinnertime conversation before I go watch Bridge to Terabithia with the kiddos....

MOM: What did you guys do in school today?
AJ: I don’t like chicken.
MOM: We’re not having chicken.
BOO: Oh! I love chicken! I want a leg!
MOM: This isn’t chicken. We’re having pork chops.
AJ: I don’t like pork chops.
MOM: Since when?
NANA: Oh we’re having chicken?
BOO: I get the leg!
MOM: We’re not having chicken tonight.
BABY: dadadadada
PRINCESS: I just want milk.
BOO: You can’t have milk! We’re having chicken.
SPAZ: My butt itches!
AJ: What is that brown stuff in the rice? I don’t like that.
MOM: There’s no brown stuff. Eat it. So what did you guys do in school?
NANA: This doesn’t taste like chicken.
AJ: It’s not chicken, duh!!! Mom, what’s 483 divided by 14?
MOM: I don’t know, Aj. Put your homework away. It’s time to eat now.
SPAZ: WHEEEAAAAAAAAA!!!!
PRINCESS: Can I have a fruit snack for dinner?
MOM: No, you can’t have a fruit snack. Eat some meat. Spaz, settle down. Princess, tell me what you did in school. Why did you get that stamp on your hand?
PRINCESS: We were, um, in the room, ummm…..
BABY: dadaaaa baba
NANA: Stop kicking, Aj!!!
MOM: What room, Princess?
AJ: I’m not kicking you.
BOO: Can I have more chicken?
PRINCESS: We were at school. Mrs. Milton, ummm, gave us stamps, ummmm, because…..Is that corn?
NANA: Mooom, make Aj stop kicking. He’s kicking the table.
MOM: Nana, pass the corn to Princess, please. Aj stop kicking the table. Spaz stop drinking all your milk and eat. Why did Mrs. Milton give you guys stamps?
NANA: I already have corn.
MOM: I know you do. I asked you to pass the corn to Princess.
SPAZ: TWINKLE TWINKLE LITTLE CAR!
BABY: DA DA DA!!! (as she flings a piece of bread across the table)
AJ, BOO, PRINCESS, SPAZ and NANA: HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! Baby threw her bread! HAHAHAH!!!
MOM: Stop laughing. Don’t encourage her.
BABY: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! (as she throws another piece)
MOM: No baby (as I take her ammunition away)
MOM: So why did you get a stamp, Princess?
PRINCESS: ummm, because I, ummmm was a statue.
MOM: You were a statue? Did you play a statue game in gym?
NANA: I didn’t have gym today.
AJ: She’s talking to Princess, not you!
BOO: Can I be excused?
MOM: No. Finish eating.
PRINCESS: Ummmm no, not in gym. In, ummm Mrs. Milton’s class. We were statues.
MOM: OK you got a stamp on your hand because you were a statue in Mrs. Milton’s class?
PRINCESS: No.
MOM: (under breath) I give up.
AJ: Nana’s chewing with her mouth open and I need $5 for our field trip tomorrow.
NANA: Oh yeah, I need an empty coffee can for a project we’re doing tomorrow.
PRINCESS: Can I have a fruit snack now?
BABY: woof woof woof (as she throws a piece of corn on the floor.)
BOO: Can I have some more chicken?
MOM: Spaz eat, Baby stop throwing food, Nana chew with your mouth closed, Aj, quit kicking the table, Princess, you can’t have a fruit snack, and WE’RE NOT HAVING CHICKEN!

18 comments:

jester said...

your entire blog is brilliant! i stumbled on it quite by mistake and it's made me laugh out loud so often that I am attracting many glances that are less than happy. Unfortunately I can't commiserate with this dinnertime discussion, because ours are normally pretty civil, considering there are only two kids. Lucky us.

(by the way, i totally think you should write a book or something ~ your writing style is amazing!)

Pen said...

I only have two at home and I CAN commiserate.

Mom: We don't put our fingers in chicken soup.

C: She's looking at me!!!!

M: I was not!!

DAD: M, stop picking the onions out of your soup.

C: (Kicks the table)

MOM to C: Stop looking at her.

M: (Hiding the last bit of food in her napkin, throws it away)

Mom: M, why did your napkin make a thud when it hit the trash can?

M: Idano

Mom: (Unwadding her napkin) Anything else you'd like to eat from the trash can, go ahead and throw it in there.

Love your blog. Thanks for auction which led me here. Bully for you on reselling the cards instead of caving. I'd rather hand them to the kids worse enemy than allow them the pleasure of using something they had obtained dishonestly.

mcdillie said...

Oh wow! This was one of the funniest conversations I have ever read, I am laughing so hard, tears are rolling down my face.

What a great look into my future life, I have 3 children and want one more! We have a 3 1/2 year old GIRL, a 2 year old GIRL, and a 3 month old GIRL. I am sure that number 4 will be a GIRL, which will make for some really fun dinner conversations I'm sure.

Anonymous said...

Brilliant! Your Princess sounds just like my Aubrey. "Ummm, Mom, Ummmm, oh, I forgot. But, I love you."

Jen said...

MMMM There's nothing quite like chicken chops!!
;)

Valerie said...

This is amazing. I just love your blog. A film review site I read posted a link to your Ebay auction (they called you Seinfeld-ian) and now I'm addicted to your writing. Cheers!

elle said...

I'm reading this at work, and I have to stop reading because I'm trying SO HARD not to laugh outloud to the point that my face is turning red. Love your blog!

Jeff, Jana, and Emma said...

Thank you for your hilarious stories!! I love them! The best part about it is that they are real stories...not only that someone is actually experiencing this life, but that they realize that it can be so funny. Maybe that helps keep you sane!

Autumn said...

wow... I have this dinnertime conversation EVERY FRELLING NIGHT! And my kids are only 7, 4, 18 mo, and 3 weeks.

Me: KIDS!!! DINNER!!!

*sound of thundering herd of elephants*

7 y/o: Are we having spaghetti?
18 mo: 'Eti!
Me: No. We're having stew.
4 y/o: I HATE stew.
7 y/o: Eeewwww...
Me: Just sit down and eat it.
3 week old: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!
Me: Somebody give your brother his pacifier while I get this meal on the table.
4 y/o: Not me! I don't want stew. I want spaghetti!
*puts bowls of stew at appropriate places*
18 mo: 'ETI!
Me: No! It's stew. That's what you get.
*plop the 18 mo kid in her chair... watch as a chunk of carrot is tossed on the floor*
Me: No no no... You EAT your stew. Don't throw it.
18 mo: HAHAHAHAHA T'row!
*another chunk of carrot sails through the air to splat against the wall*
7 y/o: Do I have to get the baby his pacifier?
3 week old: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
Me: YES!
4 y/o: Can I have some spahetti instead? I don't want stew.
Me: JUST EAT!
18 mo: T'row!
*watch as the bowl of stew is dumped over 18 mo's hair*

*blinks*

Me: I give up....

*picks up baby, goes to bedroom, feeds baby*

*gets covered in spit-up*

The Dunkers said...

This one cracked me up too! I'd go crazy girl! How do you keep your sanity? I guess it's to laugh or cry and you've got the laughing thing down!

Carla said...

I am so glad to be doing this with you! The whole dinner time thing! AAAHHHHHH!

Stephanie said...

Mmmm...chicken. *snicker*

Bridget said...

I am in love with your writing and you!! Thanks so much for sharing your humor, life, writing, etc with us!

jewels said...

I love your writing style, and your blog! Thanks for shairng!!!

Trish said...

So, you've been to dinner at my house???

Becky said...

man it sure sounds like you are telling a story after eating dinner at my house...minus a few kids..but its the same thing!! I love your blog!!!

Kristy said...

Okay, I'm a little late in responding, but I'm doing it. I'm trying to read your archives as I get a chance. I followed your nephew's name reasoning quite well. My husband is a second, obviously named after his father, but he doesn't go by his first name. He goes by his middle name. Well, not really, because he goes by Kenny, not Ken, which is his middle name.

Keep up the good work! Can't wait for the books!

Kris Roach said...

I decided to read some OLD ones in honor of #1000, and I thought this entry was hilarious....I knew who every kid was, even though you weren't using the real names at that time....This must have taken some time to put together, with the color fonts an all...VERY cute!! You are so talented. You definitely have a gift! So glad I get to enjoy it your writing...you have blessed my life over the last few years...

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