The Stupider Half of Humanity

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that. ~George Carlin

...and the stupidest half were all out driving on the same road today. There are just too many people out there who simply should not have a driver's license. If you can't see over the steering wheel, chances are you should not be driving. If you can't manage to find the accelerator and get up to the posted speed limit, then stay in the right lane, or better yet, ride a bike instead! Grrr!

Speaking of the stupider half of the population....

Since I've started doing this blog thing, I've taken to browsing through other people's blogs. I've been pleasantly surprised with how many good blogs are out there. I've found several entertaining blogs and many, even though they don't necessarily interest me, that are still well written. This astounds me because in my real, day to day life, I've found an overwhelming majority of people are grammatically impaired, have the spelling skills of a fourth grader and think that punctuation is optional. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that I'm so fabulous. I make plenty of errors, but unlike most of America, I do know the difference between "your" and "you're".

I'm starting to get a little worried that my kids are going to wind up in the stupid half of humanity. Consider what happened at Nana's softball game today.

ME: Don't jump off the bleachers, Boo.
ME: Stop climbing on the bleachers.
ME: Get down from there before you crack your head open.
BOO: Waaaaaah! I'm bleeding! Waaaaahhhh!

ME: You're too big to sit in the stroller, Princess.
ME: You'd better get out before it tips over.
ME: Princess watch out!
Princess: Waaaaaaah! The stroller fell over and I banged my head!

Do you know what's on the underside of the bleachers at any given ball park? I'm not sure, but it all found it's way to Spaz's mouth today. Mmmm, nothing like month old, already chewed gum covered in dirt and bugs.

Yep, my kids definitely take after their father.

But this guy takes the cake. Another parent at the game, who works on the police force, told us about a call that came in. A man had been caught streaking through a public pool wearing nothing but a football helmet (because sometimes those pool decks can be slippery and it's important to protect your brain from injury in case you fall.) Now I ask you, do you really think there's anything worth protecting in that guy's head?