The Sky is Blue. No it's Not.

While watching Finding Nemo, I had this conversation with Clay.


CLAY: Did that fish get eaten?

ME: The mom fish was eaten. The dad fish and Nemo are ok though.

CLAY: A shark ate them?

ME: A big fish ate them.

CLAY: Actually, a shark ate them.

ME: It was a big fish.

CLAY: And sharks are big fish, right?

ME: I give up. You know everything.

I really don't know how I made it to the ripe old age of 38. My kids point out daily just how stupid I am. Austin is especially good for this. It doesn't matter what I say, that kid will find a loophole and exploit it every time without fail.

"The sky is blue."

"Well actually, the sky isn't really blue. The gas molecules in the sky just absorb the shorter wavelengths blah blah blah blah blah..."

Of course, if I gave the scientific explanation, he'd counter with something else.

"The sky looks blue because the molecules absorb the short wavelengths and...."

"No. The sky is blue because it would look weird if it was purple."

It really doesn't matter what I say, Austin's greatest joy in life is achieved by proving me wrong. Oh, if only I were as smart as a teenager. I used to be that smart. I used to know everything. I did!

I think I've figured it out. Babies are born knowing very little. You teach them important stuff. You teach them how to talk and walk, how to feed themselves and read, how to dress themselves and poop on the potty. They look up to you. You have all the answers to life's problems. In fact, you do such a great job teaching them that they eventually become smarter than you.

You begin to realize that you really don't have all the answers. I mean, you don't even know what MileyWorld is. You can't name all the Jonas Brothers. It takes you 12 minutes to send a text message and you have no clue what Webkinz are. You think that Fergie is the Duchess of York and Wii is simply "we" misspelled. Suddenly your kids are rolling their eyes at you because clearly, only the very simple-minded wouldn't know what "IDK" means.

Take heart though. You won't be stupid forever. Some day your kids will probably have kids of their own and suddenly you'll regain your intelligence. In fact, you may even be called wise by your children.

Why Are There All These Socks?

I do several loads of landry each day because, well, because I've got a family of 8. Recently I've been seeing a lot of little socks in the laundry. A LOT of them. Here's the thing though - my kids haven't worn socks in months. It's summer. They wear Crocs or sandals or go barefoot. I kept wondering, where are all these coming from? Why am I washing a couple dozen kid's socks a week? Then I was enlightened...






You can't slide around on all fours across the kitchen floor unless you have socks on your hands and feet. Duh.

Sold to the Highest Bidder

I listed the shirts and necklace that Savannah got when she went shopping with her friend.  She's donating the money earned on that auction to the Make A Wish Foundation.  Then I went ahead and listed some of the black pants I found in Austin's closet and a toy that he wanted to sell.  I probably have another 2 dozen things to list, but no time to write up descriptions.  Anyway, here are the links if you want to check them out:

 

DRESS PANTS

 

SHIRTS & NECKLACE

 

SNAP CIRCUITS SET

 

Back to writing up my BlogHer recap and a couple reviews......

BlogHer '08 Recap

OK, I'll try to recap BlogHer here. I've been putting it off because I didn't think I'd really be able to sum up the weekend accurately and because I kept forgetting to pull my camera out and take pictures, but here goes nothin'... I got to San Francisco at noonish on Thursday. On the drive to the hotel, I was surprised to see the ocean on one side and hills on the other. It's so nice to see such scenic landscapes. I told my friend Julie, "There are hills! It's so cool to see hills!" She answered with, "You mean the whole world isn't just a giant cornfield?" Seriously, I think the greatest change in elevation in the entire midwest is like 5 feet. As I was checking into the hotel, I ran into Liz from This Full House. I'd met her at Johnson & Johnson's Camp Baby back in April. She's such a sweetheart! She always has this great smile on her face! I ran up to my room, dropped off my luggage and ran down to where Janice and Susan from 5 Minutes for Mom

were doing interviews. There I was treated to a make-over by a professional make-up artist. When I walked into the room, the make-up artist scrutinized my face and said something along the lines of, "Oh my gosh! How much time do I have until your interview?! I don't think there's enough foundation in the world to cover up those bags under your eyes!" OK, so maybe she didn't really say that, but I'm sure she thought it. The interview went pretty well, I think. Janice and Susan are both so outgoing and friendly that they put you at ease instantly. 

 After that, I went to the speaker training where I met a few fellow bloggers, another speaker on my panel, and Elisa, Jory, and Lisa. Following the training, I went to a cocktail reception hosted by Johnson & Johnson. I met up with Lori and Edwige there. Then I went to a reception for the speakers. That was fun - open bar, appetizers and a Wii boxing tournament. The prize for the winner of the tournament was a Wii, so I signed up. I figured my kids wouldn't be around to make fun of me if I accidentally hit myself in the face while Wii boxing. I was eliminated in the first round. Oh my gosh am I incompetent! And here I was thinking of getting a Wii Fitness so I could get a fun workout at home. With my complete and utter lack of coordination, I may have to rethink that. I think, if I remember correctly, that Jenny from Three Kid Circus won. 

From there, I went to the Newbie Party where I met some more bloggers. And then it was on to the People's Party where I picked up a tote bag o'swag and a couple more drinks. About 10 minutes after I got there, the lack of sleep, travel, and rum caught up to me and I decided to call it a night. The next day, as my phone rang with my wake-up call, I realized I couldn't move my arms. I tried to grab the phone, but no dice. I kept thinking, why can't I move my arms? What the heck? They worked last night! Then I realized it was from the Wii boxing. I have GOT to make more time for exercise! 

Friday, I met a whole slew of people. I went to panels on Privacy, Video Blogging (NEED TO GET ME A VIDEO CAMERA AND DO SOME OF THIS!) and Taking Care of Business. Friday night, there was a party at a local nightclub, Ruby Skye. Oh. My. Gosh. I am so old. There were 1000 bloggers crammed into a hot, LOUD nightclub with really LOUD music and so many people you couldn't even move and really LOUD music. Did I mention it was loud? I kinda shut down and hid out in a quietish corner. I met some more bloggers there. I was so thankful when Susan joined me in my isolation. We had a nice conversation until we decided we couldn't take the loudness anymore so we left so she could nurse her baby and I could go on to another party go to bed because I'm old and don't do loud nightclubs anymore. 

The next day, I spoke on a panel, The Commercial Momosphere: Policies, Ethics, and Outreach with Lotta, Devra, and Kristin. I don't feel like I had too much of value to add to the conversation because I'm still figuring things out myself. 

Saturday night ended with the Macy's Extravaganza. Macy's closed off the handbag section for a private BlogHer party where we enjoyed champagne and Hors d'Oeuvres. (Do you have any idea how long it took me to spell that?!) A woman from the San Francisco Chronicle interviewed me there. Then the party moved on to the shoe department where we had wine, and some really delicious food. After the shoe department, we went up a few floors to lingerie where they handed out KY samples, cookies that tasted like perfume and the nastiest shots I've ever had. Who ever thought that chipotle vodka and white chocolate would be a good mix? It sounds like a combination my kids would come up with! Finally, we ended up on the top floor in the furniture department where snacks, sandwiches, ice cream and drinks were served as we lounged on living room sets. Handbags were raffled off, authors signed copies of Sleep is for the Weak, and people danced to music from a live DJ. "A live DJ"? Does that even make sense? Of course he was live. A dead DJ probably wouldn't play very good music. Once again I was the life of the party and left early to go back to my hotel room. I know, I'm just a barrel of fun. In small groups I'm never at a loss for words and I enjoy myself immensely. There's just something about being in such a large crowd, especially when you only know a couple people, that's a little intimidating. 

"Does my hand smell weird to you?" 

And of course, you know all about my day of sightseeing on Sunday. I'm sure I forgot some stuff and some great bloggers that I met and for that I'm sorry. I just can't remember everything that happened there. 

On My Way to Where the Air is Sweet

There's just something about meeting a celebrity that can reduce the most self-assured, confident people to fits of nervous giggles. And when that celebrity is someone you've watched on television since childhood, it can be an unnerving experience. You might think I'm talking about a politician here. Or perhaps a famous musician. Or maybe even a movie star. Nope. I'm talking about a furry blue monster who stands a couple feet tall.

That's right, at the BlogHer conference, I had the opportunity to meet one of my favorite Muppets, Grover, and the man who brings him to life, Eric Jacobson. I have to say that speaking to Grover was more disconcerting than speaking to a room full of fellow bloggers. There's just something about talking to someone's hand, even if it is covered in blue fur, that's a little strange. I'd be a little worried what that says about me except that I heard person after person tell Grover things like, "I can't believe I'm getting to meet you!" and "I still have the Grover doll I got when I was one year old!" I saw one person even tear up while meeting her cute, adorable pal, Grover.

Grover with Eric Jacobson

I spoke with Eric Jacobson, who, by the way, sounded nothing like Grover while talking to me. Eric is the voice of Grover and Miss Piggy, among others and has been for 10 years, when he succeeded Frank Oz. I asked Eric how long it took him to learn to move the puppet while saying his lines in the appropriate voice and staying out of view from the camera. He joked, "Let's see... I've been doing this 14 years now..."

"Did you put on puppet shows for your family and friends when you were a kid? Did you always want to be a puppeteer?" I inquired. "I put on puppet shows as much as any other kid, but I never thought, "Wow, I want to be a puppeteer when I grow up!" Eric answered.

"You've obviously gotten to meet and work with a lot of celebrities over the last ten years. Do any moments stick out in your mind as being especially remarkable?" He told me one of the biggest highlights was when singer Paul Simon asked him and Kevin Clash, the voice of Elmo, to join him on a PBS special "Celebrating the Music of Paul Simon." Paul wrote a version of The 59th Street Bridge Song for Grover and Elmo to sing to him.

When I asked him which character he liked doing the best, he told me that Grover was his favorite Muppet. Eric and Ellen Lewis Gideon, Vice President of Corporate Communications, agreed that it's difficult to choose just one when Jim Henson and Frank Oz have created such interesting and fun characters with such depth and unique qualities. We went on to talk about how Sesame Street is so enjoyable for both kids and adults.

"It's really like a big family, " says Ellen who told me that although the production crew isn't on staff, the same people come back to work season after season. "We've been together for thirty years. And the writers are amazing," said Ellen. They write on two levels so kids are entertained while learning and parents enjoy watching as well." That's true, isn't it? If I was forced to watch some of the shows that my kids like, I would have to claw out my eyes and stab my eardrums. Not Sesame Street. We not only like that fact that it's good, educational and fun for our children, but we parents remember watching the show back when we were kids too. Who could ever forget Mr. Hooper? Or, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5...6, 7, 8, 9, 10...11, 12? Or the ladybug picnic?

Speaking of all those great clips we remember from when we were kids, Sesame Street is launching a new website on August 11 that will feature over 3000 video clips of the show. I can't wait to fill my sister's inbox with clips accompanied by exclamations of, "Do you remember this one?" I got a chance to preview their new website and it's super child friendly, easy to use, and has some great parental controls to ensure online safety. I just know that SesameStreet.com is going to be Clay and Lexi's favorite new site come August 11th.

Me with Abby Cadabby

Puppeteer Leslie Carrara-Rudolph

I don't know who is cuter - Abby Cadabby or her bubbly puppeteer, Leslie Carrara-Rudolph.

Me with Grover

Come See my Vacation Slides!

I know, I sound like that annoying aunt and uncle with the reels and reels of vacation slides. "And here's Herb standing by a store. And here he is standing by a palm tree. Here I am standing next to Herb. Here we are standing next to, hmmm, I can't remember what that is. Herb, what were we standing next to?"
"That was our hotel."
"No, it wasn't. This picture was taken the day we drove to that one place."
"No, that's our hotel."
"That isn't our hotel, Herb. Well, I don't remember what we're standing in front of, but here's the next picture..."

I'll risk being the annoying relative here to show you my slideshow of San Francisco. I made it with Smilebox. The service is free, but you can upgrade to a premium membership for extra goodies if you like. This is my fun new toy! I want to make albums with each and every picture on my computer! Give it a try for kicks. It's super easy to customize with page layouts, colors, text, and music. Fun, fun, fun!

Make a Smilebox photobook

My Poor Camera

My camera broke. I LOVE my camera! It's a Sony CyberShot and it has an amazing zoom and it takes good pictures and it's broken. <--- to get the real effect, you have to read that last sentence while sobbing to the point that snot drips down your face. The little button you depress to take the picture has broken off. :( At least it lasted while I was in San Francisco, but no more pictures from me until I can figure out how to get it fixed. I think it may still be under warranty. :::crossing my fingers:::

Still, I don't know what I'll do if I have to be cameraless while it gets fixed. I was going to go to Millennium Park this week. Can I go someplace like that without a camera? I'm pretty sure there's a rule against it. I'm having a panic attack just thinking of being without a camera for weeks.

Coleman

I feel bad to admit that although I knew about Coleman's MRI this past Friday, it totally slipped my mind while I was in California. I just got caught up on his CarePages and was totally saddened to read that there were cancer cells in his spinal tap. :*( Please say some extra prayers for this sweet boy, his twin brother, his parents, family and friends, and all the people caring for him.

My Day in S.F.

I spent yesterday with my good friend from high school. She now lives 2 miles from The Westin St. Francis where I was staying. Heather and I took a cable car from the hotel to Fisherman's Wharf. I wanted Heather to take a picture of me holding a box of Rice-a-Roni and hanging off the car, but she didn't want to look like a stupid tourist. And I didn't have any Rice-a-Roni. And you can't take pictures while you're on a cable car. I really wanted to take some pictures, but I was afraid if I let go, I'd go rolling back and knock over a whole slew of people like so many bowling pins. Seriously, those streets are steep! You could totally get a workout from climbing up Nob (or Snob, as Heather calls it) Hill.

We also saw Lombard Street. I didn't get a picture of it, but click that link for a photo. Seriously, click it! Crazy, huh? People live on that street! Locals, of course, avoid it, but tourists line up to drive down the street so they can say they did it. We walked around Fisherman's Wharf and went to Ghirardelli Square. Mmmmm, chocolate. The smell of chocolate was a bit obscured by the smell of a burning building though. Seriously, a good dozen firefighters and a huge arsenal of firetrucks were rushing to the square as smoke billowed out from one of the buildings. As the firefighters marched through the square, I screamed, "Save the chocolate! Oh, for the love of God, save the chocolate!!!!!!!!!!!!!" What? You would've done the same.





Next, we had lunch at Boudin. Yummy sourdough. They have things like Caesar salad - in sourdough bread. Clam chowder - in sourdough bread. Crab cakes - in sourdough bread, a hamburger - in sourdough bread. A sourdough baguette - in sourdough bread. When you walk outside, you can watch through the windows as they bake bread. And there's an exhaust fan that blows the most delicious, fresh-baked bread aroma out onto the street.

After passing a cow and a dancing ice cream sundae, we walked on down to Pier 39. What a fun, touristy place. There were dozens and dozens of shops and restaurants there. You could book an ocean tour there, get a snack, do some shopping, people watch, and just hang out.

After doing some more walking around and shopping, we took a cab over to an Italian section of town where they have streets with really long names...

There, we sat outside, people watched, and sipped our fancy Italian coffees hot chocolate. The reason Heather ordered hot chocolate is because she didn't want too much caffeine. The reason I ordered hot chocolate is because I'm coffee-stupid. I have no clue what anything is and I'm afraid they'll look at me like I'm an idiot when I order a latte cappacino macchiato grande iced vanilla low-fat espresso chai steamed decaf.

When we were recharged and ready to do some more walking, we headed to China Town where there's shopping galore!!! We were in heaven! We decided that, had our husbands been with us, they would've ditched us and found a sports bar immediately. We had fun browsing in the stores and I spent a small fortune on souvenirs for the kiddos.


Everybody have fun tonight. Everybody...


And I got these totally cute earrings for myself! Score!


I totally rushed back to Union Square and my hotel so I could get my luggage from the bell station, repack some, freshen up a little, and catch a cab to the airport so I wouldn't miss my flight. Unfortunately my flight was delayed. I don't get this- it was supposed to be a 4 hour flight that left at 6:30 Pacific time. Because we were so delayed, the pilot said, "We're going to try to make up time. We should arrive in Chicago in 3 1/2 hours." OK, so if they can fly to Chicago in 3 1/2 hours, why don't they always go that fast? Why does it usually take 4 hours? Why???

It was actually a nice flight because I got an aisle seat and had an empty seat beside me! As the plane backed away from the gate, the plane made a loud clunking noise and I said sarcastically, jokingly, "Well, that sounds good." The guy by the window looked at me like I'd never set foot outside my house been on a plane before and said condescendingly, "It's supposed to sound like that." I decided to put on my headphones instead of trying to talk to Mr. No-Sense-Of-Humor.

As we neared Chicago, I noticed lightning out the window. We were flying above/around a storm and it was lightning like crazy. I glanced outside, then went back to my crocheting. Mr. I-Fly-All-The-Time-And-Have-No-Sense-Of-Humor looked out the window, freaked out, and plastered his face and hands up against the glass and commenced hyperventilating. I think he may have wet his pants. I laughed at him and said, "It's supposed to look like that." bit my tongue and continued crocheting. Well, maybe I smirked a little bit.

So after I landed and gathered my luggage, I got a cab. Now I always use American Taxi. They've always been on time. They've always known where they were going. Reliable, competent. Good, right? Well, last night, instead of calling for an American Taxi, I went out and let the ground transportation guy get me a cab. Big mistake. Big. Huge.

They grabbed a Checker Cab for me. First off, the driver hadn't bathed in at least 4 years. As I gagged and stuck my head out the window like a dog (literally, I did this), he asked me how to get out of the airport. Seriously? You're a cab driver and you don't know how to leave the airport? Perhaps you should find another line of work, Bud? Maybe something that includes soap, perhaps? So I seriously directed him the whole way to my house. He was clueless and didn't have GPS. When he dropped me off, I had to get my own luggage out of the trunk, then he asked me for directions back to the airport. Then, instead of charging me a reasonable flat rate like American Taxi, he charged me at a "meter and a half" rate! It was more than twice the amount of American! And he had the nerve to ask me to do the math and add it up for him because he couldn't figure it out! So, to all you suburbanites out there, I caution you against using Checker Cab! Yes, perhaps I just got a bad driver. Yes, I'm sure they're not all completely stupid directionally impaired. However, I called the company today to check on their policy of charging a meter and a half and sure enough, that is company protocol when taking passengers to the suburbs. Maybe Checker is better in the city, but for the suburbs, I highly recommend American Taxi.

I have a million more things to tell you about BlogHer and some bloggers I had the pleasure of meeting and some cool new products. I even met a celebrity! And I'm working on making a slide show with my awesome new toy. More on all this later...

Showering 101

So, I know I said I'd try to update from California, but I have been so busy and so amazingly overwhelmed at this conference that I just haven't had the chance.

Thank you everyone who emailed me to let me know that they were getting weird error messages on my blog. My blog loaded normally for me, so until you let me know, I had no idea. Apparently the person who did my blog design (who is no longer in business) did a horrendous job coding it and it took my awesome, wonderful, talented web designer and her team 3 hours to fix it.

I know, not everything is exactly the same, but it's readable now and considering she did all this work fixing something she hadn't even messed up in the first place (and on a Saturday too), I'm beyond thrilled! Thank you so much, Kelli and team!!! You rock! And she's in the process of developing my website and when it's up and running, my blog will be moved off of Blogger and over there. Make a note that it will be at BecauseISaidSo.com. You know, because you wouldn't want to miss one minute of my mediocre posts.

So, back to BlogHer...Wow is it insane! 1000 bloggers all packed into a room. I have had so much fun here! I've met tons of great people and I have a whole new slew of blogs to check out. I spoke on a panel called The Commercial Momosphere: Policies, Outreach, and Ethics (or something like that) and I didn't throw up or fall of the risers so all is good.

And I only flooded my hotel room a little bit. OK, maybe a little more than a little bit. Dork that I am, I didn't realize that the shower curtain wasn't tucked in when I took a shower tonight. I should have noticed the curtain was outside the tub because it wasn't sticking to my butt every time I turned around or bent over to shave my legs. But alas, I was unaware. Until I stepped out of the shower, that is. That's when I saw there was an inch of standing water covering the bathroom floor. Oops. I threw 4 towels down thinking that would sop it up. Nope. I rung the towels out and repeated. Again. And again. I just kept imagining the poor person on the 11th floor below me. I could see them just sitting there going to the bathroom, minding their own business when suddenly - drip. Drip. Drip. The ceiling started leaking, dripping on their head. And even worse than that was my paranoia that I was going to slip and fall on the wet bathroom floor and knock myself unconscious on the toilet seat and the maid would find me like that the next day.

I'm really excited to see my good friend from high school, Heather, tomorrow. She now lives a couple miles from my hotel and is going to spend the day with me doing the whole tourist thing! I think I may have to go buy some Rice-a-Roni and have her take a picture of me on a cable car.

More later....

California or Bust

I had a dentist appointment today and was going to write about it, but instead I think I'll make a video blog about it when I get back home.

After my appointment, I went shopping for a pair of shoes because I'd decided that I couldn't wear my Crocs to BlogHer. I went to 50 shoe stores! Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a pair of shoes that look cute and yet are super comfortable? I found dozens of cute pairs at every store. They were adorable! Unfortunately, I would break my neck if I ever tried to walk in them. Still, I tried a couple pairs on for kicks. Keep in mind, that at this point, my mouth was still completely numb. So here I am, stumbling around in these heels, my mouth drooping, probably drooling on myself and I couldn't stop thinking about that Seinfeld episode with Kramer and the shoes and the Novocaine!


So, I went to tuck my kids in tonight and I gave them extra hugs and kisses and told them I'd miss them. Brooklyn was ok. Clay was ok. Jackson was ok. Savannah was ok. Lexi cried and told me she'd miss me so much. It broke my heart. Then I tried to give Austin a hug. He jumped away from me and screamed, "Ewww, Mom germs! Quick! Stop, drop and roll!!!" as he fell to the floor and writhed around in apparent pain. I had to pull the guilt card, so I said, "That's nice. So when my plane crashes into the ocean, you can remember this moment for the rest of your life." At this point, he burst into laughter and pointed out the obvious, "There is no ocean between here and California duh!"

Let me tell ya, after the past couple weeks where I feel like all I do is scream at the kids because all they do is fight and make messes, I am so looking forward to this trip! I'm just sad I'm going to miss Austin's championship baseball game tomorrow night.

I'll be bringing my laptop and will try to update from the BlogHer conference. Have a great weekend everyone!

Countdown to BlogHer!

I leave for San Francisco for the BlogHer conference Thursday morning so technically, I should be in "freak-out" mode. I'm not there yet. I'm starting to get stuff done though. I got my hair done today. She covered the gray highlighted it. Whenever I get my hair dyed highlighted, my scalp itches like mad. Does this happen to anyone else? I look like I have serious dandruff issues as I claw my poor head like crazy for hours after getting my hair colored. Still, bloody scratches down my skull are better than gray unhighlighted hair.

I also got it cut. Until last summer, I've always had long hair as an adult. I think the reason I've kept my hair long is because I was traumatized as a kid. I spent my youth looking like a boy. Seriously, I have pictures of myself looking like this.

I don't know why, but my mom always insisted I have my hair cut short. Darn that Dorothy Hamill and her stupid haircut!

So I got brave and cut it short last summer. Well it was short for me anyway. Today I asked my hairdresser, who also happens to be a really good friend of mine, if she'd cut the back of my hair really short, but keep the front long.
My friend, Gin, said, "I cut it like that last month."
"No, I want it even shorter in back. I want to be able to kinda fluff it up in back if I want."
"You want it like John and Kate plus 8?"
"I have no clue what her hair looks like," I said. Then I pointed to a picture of a supermodel in her hair magazine and told her, "Make me look like that."
She looked at me like I was stupid and said something along the lines of, "Are you serious?! Her hair is MUCH shorter than yours. I can cut it short like that, but it won't be long in front then."
"I don't want you to touch the front. Just make the back short," I insisted.
"So basically you want 2 different haircuts?" she asked.
"Is there something wrong with that?"
At this point, she shook her head and told me she'd cut it the way I wanted, but I had to promise to tell everyone that I'd cut it myself.

Actually, she didn't cut the back as short as I wanted it so it ended up looking fine.

What we women go through to look prettiful. Like waxing. What sicko ever decided that smearing hot wax on sensitive body parts then ripping it off, was a good idea? Who proclaimed that smooth was good and Brillo pad hairy was bad?

And pedicures. I do love me a good pedicure, but I can't afford them very often and who has the time to just sit there and do nothing but relax? So, I got a PedEgg. Have you guys seen these? My kids told me I needed one after they saw a commercial for it on tv. So what - my heels have skin thicker than an elephant's. Does that really mean I need one? I got this PedEgg thing back when Mimi, Michelle and I saw Oprah. I've been using it since and I've got to say that I love this thing! You rub it on your heels and then open it up and dump out the contents of your dead heel skin which looks curiously like grated Parmesan cheese. Mmmm.

And I haven't started packing yet because I have no idea what to wear. Men don't do this. They pack whatever they find on the floor that passes the sniff test. Done. Why do we women agonize over what we'll wear? I think if I bring a steamer trunk, I can pack my entire closet. That way, I can try on 12 things every day that I'm in California and I won't have to decide what to pack.

Tomorrow I go to the dentist to get 2 teeth fixed. You know, because I'm old and thanks to 6 pregnancies, my teeth are falling out of my head. Pretty soon I'm going to look like I'm from Peoria. (Kidding. JUST KIDDING!) Because I just made fun of Peoria, my cheeks are going to swell up after my appointment and I'll look like a Puffer Fish at the BlogHer conference.

Sooo, who's going to BlogHer?