The Social Skills of a Chimpanzee

Thank you all for your prayers and well wishes. Clay's surgery went very well yesterday. The surgeon came out and told me, "He really needed this surgery. His adenoids and tonsils were just enormous." I'm looking forward to having a child who doesn't stop breathing in his sleep and who doesn't choke on his food. She removed the old set of ear tubes that had fallen out and were sitting in his ear canal. The one tube was surrounded by inflamed tissue, so she cleaned that out and put a patch over the little hole in his ear drum.

He's such a trooper. He ate two cups of Jello and drank some water at the hospital and took his pain meds without a fight so they actually let us go home yesterday evening. The nurse asked Clay, "Are you ready to leave?" He shook his head 'no'. "Don't you want to go home?" Again, he nodded his head from side to side.

Can you blame the kid? Here he was getting to watch t.v. IN BED! People brought him Jello, popsicles, soup, pop, juice, and water that he got to eat IN BED! It was quiet there. He had mom to himself and no siblings were bugging him. No kidding he didn't want to leave. I, on the other hand, did want to leave because I'm now sick and running a fever. I just pray I don't give it to Clay. That's just what he needs on top of recovering from surgery.

He's been pretty much laying around all day today which is good. Well, except for a brief moment this morning when he hopped into the kitchen. I told him, "No hopping Sweetie. You need to lie down and rest, " to which he asked, "Can I walk on my toes then?"

He's doing much better than I did when I had my tonsils removed at 19 years old. I whined to my Mom, at the time, that this was the worst pain EVER. Two days later, I got a kidney stone which promptly changed my mind. Throat pain? What throat pain?

There was nothing funny to write about in the hospital. Although this was the 8th surgery between my kids, it doesn't get easier. It's still nerve-wracking. But having this surgery in a big children's hospital, I saw so many really sick children. I thank God that mine are really healthy.

I've never seen my Spaz so calm as he's been the past couple days. This is the softest blanket on the planet! Seriously. It's a gift from Clay's Godmother, Denise on Long Island. Thank you, DeeDee! He's been carrying this monkey blanket around with him all day.

But since I told you I'd post a story, here's something I wrote a few days ago....

I recently read an article which stated that toddlers are smarter than chimpanzees. The article went on to cite studies that claim the social learning skills of a two year old child are superior to those of an ape. The person who conducted these studies has obviously never met my children.

Let’s talk a little about these five social skills that a toddler could be expected to demonstrate.

1. Saying “Please” and “Thank you” - Your toddler should always remember the magic words - please and thank you. My children are actually pretty good with their Ps and Qs. “Please, please, please can I have a piece of candy?” “Pleeeeease can I just have one more glass of water, goodnight kiss, or story?” “Thank you for letting me bring twenty-two worms in the house.” And finally, “Thank you for letting me wear my Batman mask to the grocery store.”
Yes, they’ve covered the ground on please and thank you.

2. Introductions - When introduced to an adult, your toddler should be able to say, “Nice to meet you.” My toddler hasn’t quite gotten to that point yet. I usually hear something more like “Hello. You look like Santa Claus”, or “Hello. Why is there hair coming out of your nose?”, or my personal favorite, “Hi. Are you going to have a baby soon?” Yep, that’s social finesse at its finest. Shaking hands during introductions or greetings is another opportunity to teach toddlers good manners. Greeters stand at the door as we walk into church, waiting to shake our hands. My toddler usually looks at his feet and tries to hide behind me. Sometimes he’ll be in an outgoing mood and perfectly willing to shake the other adult’s hand, but having seen him lick his palm, wipe at his nose and cough into his hand on the way into the building, I quickly usher him along before he can pass the grossness on to some unsuspecting person.
I think that covers introductions for toddlers.

3. Sharing - It’s important to teach your toddler to share. My children do an exceptional job when it comes to sharing. They are happy to share blame. To the question, “Who broke the picture frame?” all six will reply, “They did it!“ while simultaneously pointing to the sibling on their left. They’re also wonderful at sharing germs, bacteria and viruses. If one gets sick, they make sure they share until all six of them get sick.
More generous, giving children, you’ll never meet.

4. Table Manners - Right from the start, you must show your toddler how to behave at the dinner table. I never have to worry about my children’s table manners in public. Honestly. We simply never go out to eat. At home, well, let’s just say that not a meal goes by where we aren’t graced by some charming bodily function followed by hilarious laughter. Generally, enough food to feed a small village winds up on the floor and the phrase, “This is yucky” is uttered at least twice a week.
Perhaps they could use a little work in this department.

5. Saying you’re sorry - Teaching your toddler to own up to their mistakes and offer an apology when they’ve wronged someone is essential.
“I’m sorry I put my sister in the clothes dryer, I’m sorry I squished Play Doh in the couch cushions, and I’m sorry for using your expensive lipstick to color on the wall,” are all good examples of this lesson.
Yep, I’ve heard them all.

The researchers of this study go on to state that children could understand nonverbal communication, understand the intentions of others, and imitate other’s solutions to problems better than chimpanzees and orangutans. I’m inclined to agree with them.

1. …could understand nonverbal communication - They understand what that look means. You know, the‘Wait Until we get Home Mister’ look that we give our children when they’re misbehaving.

2. …could understand the intentions of others - They understand perfectly what their older brother’s intentions are. “Mom, I messed up Austin’s room and now he’s going to kill me!”

3. …could imitate other’s solutions to problem solving - “Well, he hit me first, so I hit him back.”

Actually I think it’s a toss up on who has better social skills, a chimpanzee or a two year old. But I’m pretty sure a chimp has never flushed a Barbie doll down the toilet, painted a television with chocolate pudding, or given their little sister a haircut with a pair of kitchen shears. Of course, I don’t know too many adults who walk around doing those things either, so I guess eventually, they can be taught the finer art of social graces and in the meantime, they sure provide us with plenty of fun.
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Oh yes, many of you commented that my kids sure like yogurt as a medium in their, um "artwork". I'd never really noticed that before, but you're right! And you know what? I cannot stand yogurt. You couldn't pay me to eat that nasty stuff!