Showing posts with label messes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label messes. Show all posts

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Chicago Blizzard 2011

We got twenty-two inches of snow two nights ago. That was on top of the snow we already had on the ground. The wind was brutal and caused drifts over four feet high, but the coolest part about this storm was the "thundersnow". In all my thirty-ten years, I've never seen thundersnow. It was wicked strange to see lightning and hear thunder in the midst of a snowstorm. I tried to get the lightning on tape, but missed it. I did get some decent footage of the snow blowing in the high winds, however.

(Just ignore the dialogue from Groundhog Day in the background. I was going to mute it, but when I viewed the video with the sound muted, it looked like I'd just sped up the film because the wind is blowing that hard. So I left the sound in so you could see that was the actual speed of the wind.)




We couldn't open our front door yesterday morning, so I trudged through waist high drifts to get to the front porch and started shoveling. After about 20 minutes, you could barely tell I'd done anything and I felt like I was in cardiac arrest. I remembered how cool the blizzard of '79 was I wondered what had happened to me in the last 32 years to make me think that snow was pure evil. For some reason, kids view snow through totally different eyes.

Kids also view snow days through different eyes than their parents. Now, to be fair, I honestly can't even remember the last snow day we had. We're used to snow here. It snows, we plow, and we go on. They don't close businesses or school for several inches of snow. Chicagoans aren't sissies. We're impervious to bad weather. But, when twenty-four inches dump on you in less than than twenty-four hours, well, even the most organized and prepared team of snow plows can't keep up with that.

So, the kids have been home the past couple days. I've dried six loads of coats, snowpants, mittens, etc. I've washed my slushy floors twice. I painted Brooklyn's nails. Then I painted Lex's nails. Then I painted Brooklyn's again because "I want them to look just like Lexi's". Then I listened to Lexi complain because she didn't want Brooklyn's nails to look just like hers. I picked up enough food to feed a small nation off the floor. I told the kids to put their dishes in the dishwasher at least 50,000 times. I cleaned up at least a dozen sticky hot chocolate messes. I watched several hours of fashion shows. And I did a little happy dance when the school called to say it will be in session tomorrow.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Damage Control

While I clean one room, the kids trash two others. This is what I do all day.

"Hey Mom! What is this?"

"Put it back!"

"But what is it?"

"It's packing material. Now PUT IT BACK!"

So, of course, when I checked a couple minutes later, it didn't surprise me one bit to see that Clay had notsomuch put it back, but had instead (with the help of his partner-in-crime, Brooklyn), put it here...



I have no idea what possessed them to fill the sink with styrofoam. I started to scoop it out when I realized that...




the sink was also filled with water.


"What were you thinking???" I asked the kids, knowing clear well that they weren't, in fact, thinking at all. I could hear Bill Cosby's wisdom echoing through my head, Kids have brain damage!


"We were washing them, Mom!"


Ugh. I wondered, I really, truly wondered, if anything I say ever gets through their heads. Today, that question was answered for me.


Clay and Brooklyn had some friends over to play. I heard both Clay and Brooklyn telling their friends things like, "You have to put that toy away if you're done playing with it," and "You have to stay in the kitchen with your snack". I honestly can't count how many times I heard my words come out of their mouths. On the one hand, I was proud, happy, nay, beaming that they remembered my instructions and even went so far as to impart their knowledge to their friends. On the other hand, I wondered how they could remember and tell their friends not to eat in the family room when I have to remind them EVERY SINGLE DAY OF THEIR LIVES NOT TO EAT IN THE FAMILY ROOM! How is this possible? Anyone know the answer to this burning question? Anyone? Anyone at all?

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

A Backyard Beach

Remember when I said my kids had been getting along and behaving really well? Yeah, um, about that...

A couple days ago, I was talking to a friend on the phone while cleaning my bathroom. I always talk on the phone while cleaning. By the time I finish my conversation and hang up, my house is clean and I don't even remember doing any of it! It's awesome! It's a great, virtually painless way to tackle yucky chores.

After my bathroom was all sparkly, I walked through the kitchen to hang up the phone. As I was saying goodbye to my friend, I stopped in my tracks as Clay and Brooklyn, dripping wet and wrapped in towels, came walking out of the other bathroom.

"Bye Jules. Talk to you la..what the??? What are you two doing?" I yelled in my friend's ear on the other end of the line. Of course, Clay and Brooklyn were up to no good. Duh. I should've known this from the start. They were quiet. The whole time I was cleaning the bathroom, I didn't suffer a single interruption from them. Obviously that meant they were doing something like trying to scale the garage, or removing the tires from my van, or lighting the yard on fire, or painting the windows with crayon and smooshed cheese. (In case you're wondering, it's especially hard to get smooshed American cheese off windows.)

Really it's a toss-up. You can have a quiet conversation while the kids destroy the house express their creativity, or you can have a conversation like this:

"So I was talking to my lawyer and he said hold on a minute. Get down from there right now! What are you thinking? Do you want to fall and crack your head open? I'm sorry, Julie, so I was talking to my lawyer and he said that no, I can't paint your nails right now. I know you want nail polish, but I'm on the phone. I'll paint them when I get off. Sorry, Julie. I swear this kid wants her nails painted every day. Every single day! She has so many layers of nail polish that her nails are like 2 1/2 inches thick! I have no idea what I was saying. Oh yeah! My lawyer told me that he'll set up a court date for Clayton, I told you to put on a jacket if you're going outside. It's cold out there! Yes, it is. Yes, it is. Yes, it is cold! Yes, it is! Fine, don't put on a jacket. Suit yourself. But then you have to stay inside. Sure, I'll put on a movie for you. Hang on, Julie. I'm sorry. OK, there we go. Now, they're all set with a movie. So, what's going on with the job situation? Oh, we were talking about the court date? Oh yeah! Well, I told him yes, I can get you some chocolate milk. Where's your cup? Sorry Julie. Hang on a sec."

OK, I know some of you are probably thinking that conversation is horribly rude and permeated with bad manners. And yes, if you're on the phone with the doctor's office, or a business call, or your mother, you don't want to have conversations like this. However, if you're on the phone with your girlfriend who is having an identical conversation with you because her boys are beating each other over the head with golf clubs and running out into the street as she's talking to you, then I say, go ahead! It's understood. It's mutually acceptable. It's what stay-at-home moms do. If we waited for an opportunity to talk in peace and quiet, we never talk to anyone! We'd sit at home all day with no outlet until we snapped and started having conversations with sock puppets named Argyle and Bobby.

Anyway, I digress. I wasn't having the aforementioned conversation so I should have been aware that my kids were up to no good. Back to the dripping wet kids emerging from the bathroom.

"What are you guys doing?"

"We just took a shower, Mom."

"I can see that. Why?"

We just felt like it."

"Uh huh," I said as I noticed the dirty footprints covering the floor, leading from the backdoor, through the kitchen, down the hallway, and into the bathroom. I followed the footprints. At the bathroom door, I stopped in my tracks. There at my feet was a mound of discarded clothing that was soaked in water and covered in sand.




Hmmm, this is a new one, I thought to myself. "What on earth did you two do?" I asked in wonder.

"We made a beach."

"A beach, huh? In the sand box?"

"Yeah, we filled it with water and went swimming like the ocean!" Clay beamed, proud of his clever idea.

I began thinking that perhaps those two watch a little too much Phineas and Ferb. Where was Candace when I needed her?

"That's just..." I floundered for words. "That's great," I said with tons of only a hint of sarcasm.

Every week, I find myself instituting rules I never thought I'd need. This week it was the No Swimming in the Sand Box rule. Now if only my kids' messes disappeared as easily as Phineas and Ferb's...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Monday, May 18, 2009

In My Washing Machine are Many Things

I would think the world was ending if I ever switched loads of laundry and I didn't find any rocks, twigs, Legos, Polly Pocket clothes, dollar bills, gum, notes, nails, screws, bolts, washers, Nintendo DS game cartridges, Magnetix, wrappers, pencils, lip gloss, student IDs, disposable diapers, baseball cards, coins, candy, or misc. garbage I've picked up off the floor intending to throw away.
This is what I found today...


Fruit snacks. No one had them in their pocket. I asked the kids and they all insisted it wasn't them. They just magically appeared. Funny how that works, huh?
I just hope I got them all before I put these clothes in the dryer or I'm going to have one nasty, sticky mess. I'm kind of afraid to look.

And on an unrelated note, I found these pictures on the internal memory of my camera. I'm not sure how old they are or which one of the kids decided to dress up Brooklyn like this...


Yep, I encourage the baby to look like a psycho killer, zombie, pirate wrapped in Ace bandages with bad hair.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Sunday Sound Out

From Chicago, where we have no problem spelling or pronouncing Des Plaines, it's Sunday Sound Out with Dawn Meehan! Tonight: answers to your questions and musical guests the Proclaimers! And now, the woman single handedly responsible for getting the Blackhawks to the Western Conference Finals, it's Dawn Meehan!

And now, it's time for viewer mail...


Just curious -- why would your parents, grandma and sister makes plans to get together that didn't include YOU?
I know right?! It's either A: they figured I'd be doing something with my family and didn't bother to ask. Or B: they didn't want me and my loony kids running all around their house. I'm going with "B".

Are you going to BlogHer??
Yes! Procrastination pays off again! I put off registering for BlogHer and missed out on tickets and was put on a 50 mile long waiting list. This weekend I was one of the lucky ones who was able to get a ticket though. Yipee!
Do you think this is where Austin learned all about procrastination? He put off his social studies project until the night before and managed to get an A on the thing! Ugh! How are we ever going to learn our lesson about procrastination when things keep working out for us?

I'm so craving a Chicago hotdog! I know Portillo's delivers via mail but it is too freaking expensive!
I was just thinking about Portillos earlier today because I wrote a post about fun hairdos from Suave and I mentioned celebrity stylist Luke O'Connor in the post. He was telling me how much he loves Portillos as he did my hair in Beverly Hills. LOL! You can stop by my review blog to enter the giveaway for a set of Suave haircare products HERE. And you have one more day to enter to win a case of V-8 V-Fusion HERE.

Any particular reason you changed the RSS settings so that the full text of the entry doesn't show up in feed readers?
Just to make you crazy. Oops sorry, that's the answer I reserve for my kids. Actually, it was an experiment to see if it affected traffic to my blog. I think it'll be changing back this week though so hang on a couple more days.

So what made your friends think any of this [amount of junk in my van] was hilarious? They obviously don't have kids.
Bingo! You hit the nail right on the head.

But since we are in the van as much as in the house, don't we need extra toys, food and clothes in there?
Yes! In fact, I say car manufacturers should take this into consideration and install toilets and fridges standard on all minivans.

Exactly how big is your car Dawn?
It's just your standard 43 passenger van. Why?

Wait, how many cars participated in that photo shoot? Wow, that's a lot of stuff! Aren't you glad it's not all on your living room floor?
Uh yeah, not on my living room floor, uh huh. Yeah, because that would be bad. Excuse me while I kick the piles of toys and junk under the couch.... ahem.

How ever do you fit the kids in the car?
I'm supposed to put them in there too???

Took more time to take photos and write this post than it would have to clean all that stuff up - at least with the car to trash can method.
Yeah, but taking pictures was more fun than cleaning it. Duh.

Out of curiosity, after the pics, did you ummm clean out any of the detrius?
Ummm yeah, sure, sure I did.

I just went to my library website and typed in "dawn meehan" to see if they have your book, and the search results came back with "Did you mean 'dawn elephant'?" That just cracked me up, so I had to share!
Have you seen the size of my butt? I completely understand why "elephant" came up while googling my name!

Do you know what books stores will carry it [Because I Said So]?
Family Christian book stores and some Barnes & Noble stores carry it. You can also get it online HERE or HERE. Or, if you'd like an autographed copy, you can get one HERE.

very cute of Brooklyn, so Dawn, did you get her that after she had spent so much time telling you what she wanted?
Ugh, you know what I got her? I got the kids some sidewalk chalk and a 6 pack of bubbles for them to play with at the older kids' sporting events. Know what Clay & Brooklyn did with the bubbles while I was on the phone? They poured 4 bottles out on my kitchen floor and then stripped down and lubed themselves up with Desitin and Vaseline and made a kind of indoor slip-n-slide. I had to video blog that one. Seriously, where do they come up with this stuff??? I never would have dreamed of doing something like that when I was a kid. Savannah never did crazy stuff like that. :::sigh::: It took me over an hour to clean the floor even with Clay's "help"!

I finally ordered your book today, from the Christian Book Distributor on line. Am I a fan, or what? How many of your males readers have said the same? (s.s.o.)
I think you're one of three male readers, Rick. You're an elite group. Congratulations!

*lol* -- I've seen worse, when it comes to dinner time, ;-)
So have I. Almost every single night, in fact. I really should've shot some more footage before that video blog was put together.

I see Mom sits at the head of the table ;0
Actually, no, Brooklyn sits there (which is somehow fitting). We just rearranged a bit to try and fit everyone in the shot.

And should I even ask what came flying [across the table during dinner]?
Probably not. I try not to ask. Sometimes the answer is just scary.


And put your hands together for our musical guests, The Proclaimers (just because they have fun Scottish accents.)

Monday, May 11, 2009

A Look Into the Depths

...of my van, that is.

Thursday night after my book signing, my friends helped me carry a heavy box of books and my video camera and tripod and such out to my car. As they put the things in the back, this is what they saw...

In all honesty, I didn't think twice about it. My van is actually fairly clean right now. These guys, however (or the ones who don't have kids anyway) thought it was hilarious that I had so much stuff in there. So, I decided to take pictures.

The view from the back - 2 baseball bags, a hockey bag, a case of water and a box of books...

022

Here's a close-up of a wad of chewed gum. What? Where else would you put nasty, old chewed-up gum?

020

Clay's bat bag, Jax's water bottle, and a bag with a little Video Now player (minus batteries) in it...

023

Jax's hockey bag...

024

Lexi's Nintendo DS. So THAT'S where it is!

025

a naked Strawberry Shortcake doll (for some reason, all the dolls in my house and car are naked. Should I be concerned?), Matchbox car, stuffed doll, and a lawn chair...

026

an Oreo cookie wrapper and a snow scraper... Yes, I'm aware it's May, but you just never know...

027

Water bottle, softball, and a used straw just because...

028

a naked mini Bratz doll with no feet Yes, I know my kids are probably disturbed. But check out that cool hairdo!

030

a couple of Brooklyn's glamorous jewels...

031

some of my reusable grocery bags and more jewelry...

032

a broken hockey stick, another doll, and a cloth bag full of toys under the seats...

033

a broken lid from a fast food soft drink cup...

034

a pile of garbage...

035

a pair of pants... I have no idea!

036

an elbow length glove and a doll hairbrush...

037

an empty bag from Disney World...

038

a swim vest still in my car from when we went to The Dells in January...

039

a pirate argh!

040

a year book, baseball cap, sweatshirt, and poncho...

041

Barbie keys...

042

straw wrapper, cookie wrapper, and smashed dandelion...

043

Brooklyn's sweatshirt, crumbs, and dandelion parts from the bouquet Brooklyn gave me the other day...

044

Belle and the tray from the stroller that broke last month...

045

another swim vest that's been in here since January...

046

Moto Moto who repeatedly says, "Grrrr, I'm every hippo's dream" until we're all shouting, "Shut up Moto Moto!"

047

a magnet that we made in Sunday school...

048

another Sunday school project. The kids in my class kept asking Austin to draw them sharks to add to their fish.

049

My area is fairly clean - 3 week old water bottle, coconut lip gloss, change and some misc. papers and CDs.

050

Sleeping Beauty...

051

a paper that Lexi drew on. It says, "I love you Mom!" Awww...

052

The only problem I see here is that there is a serious lack of fruit snacks, fries, and Goldfish crackers. What's up with that???

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Naked Mole Rats Escape!

First, I want to thank all of you who took the time to leave me a comment yesterday and today. You guys are the best! You made me cry. In a good way! THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!



This is what Clay and Brooklyn did this morning....they dragged out all their blankets, pillows, and bean bag chairs and piled them up by the front door. It was 11:00 in this picture. Yep, they're still in their jammies, just hanging out in a pile of "squishy stuff".

It's fine though. I didn't have any plans to leave today. They were playing nicely and getting along just fine and I was able to get some of my stuff done while they were burying themselves like Naked Mole Rats in their giant pile of blankets.

A couple minutes later, Brooklyn came and sat next to me on the couch. Within seconds, she fell asleep.

Looks comfy, no? I picked her up off the couch to lay her down in bed when I heard someone at the front door. "Oh great! I'm never going to be able to open the door with all that stuff in front of it." No one comes to our house for months and today, when I can't make my way to the door, someone shows up. I put Brooklyn down and waded through the sea of slumber things to the door. I managed to open it a crack and peeked outside. There stood Clay in his pajamas at the front door!

"How did you.... Where did you.... Wait, aren't you in these blankets? What the...???"

I swear, I had no idea how he got outside. I never heard the back door open. He couldn't have opened the front door. I was sitting right there next to Brooklyn and Clay had been in the blankets just a minute before...

I told Clay to walk around to the back door, but he couldn't get into the backyard because the gate was locked.

"Then how on earth did you get outside?" I began wondering if time travel was possible. Or maybe in all his "experimenting" with household items, he'd actually built a teleportation device with some Tupperware, a AA battery, a plastic shark, and a granola bar wrapper. That must be it! He'd beamed himself outside!

I saw him run to the window in my bedroom. The window which was open. The little stinkerbutt had opened the window, climbed outside and walked to the front door in a matter of 5 minutes. And I was RIGHT THERE! Ugh.

After I'd lectured him on the rule of NEVER opening the windows unless he had permission, I crawled into the pile of blankets and took a nap. What? It could happen!

OK, I didn't really take a nap. I took pictures, of course!

I haven't been reviewing products, but Angie's still working to find the latest and greatest from WAHMs. She's always got a giveaway running on Mamaslike. Check it out!
And you can read more about my trip to New Jersey here. I'll be posting about that for the next week or so.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

I Can Laugh...Now

I can laugh at these now because they happened a long time ago.


This is why you ALWAYS keep concentrated icing color under lock and key.


They seem pretty happy about their accomplishment, no?


The couch and floor covered in black


The chair and the table covered in black. Nice hand print on the chair, huh?


The wall surrounding the tub covered in black. Note the color of the water. See the black goo dripping from my daughter's nose.


After two baths, the black disappeared and the red pigment was left. For many, many, many, many, many days.

Monday, January 21, 2008

Green Goblin Strikes Again











Sure, you guys can paint! Do it in the garage though, so you don't make a mess all over the house.
Note to self: Do NOT sit down to check email, clean the bathroom, or make a phone call while kids are painting in the garage or you might not hear them come in to wash their hands.

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