Let's Play Dolls

Brooklyn asked me to play dolls with her like she regularly does. I have to admit that I usually just kinda hold a doll, jump it around the house a little and get bored. I mean, I can play dolls with her for hours, but after the first five minutes, it's SO boring not entirely enjoyable. But today, I got into playing dolls. Perhaps a bit too much...


"It's Monday. The kids were home all weekend, so naturally, the house is destroyed. Time to clean. La la la la la, whistle while you work...I'm going to make the beds and straighten up the bedrooms because a clean room is a happy room."



"Time to clean the bathrooms. It's amazing how disgusting those bathtubs can get. How DO those bathtubs get so gross so fast?"



At this point, Brooklyn interrupted me to tell me I wasn't playing the right way. "Mooom, she doesn't clean the bathroom. She puts on makeup to get ready for her date."

"Wow, you really have a good imagination, Brooklyn!" I said, impressed. Then I went back to my way of playing.

"I need to pull the curtains down to wash them since someone didn't want their pasta and ended up flipping her plate against the window while throwing a fit because I dared to feed her something other than chocolate milk and peanut butter."



"Next, it's time to dust the entertainment center, scrub the marker off the TV, and vacuum up the weekend's popcorn extravaganza."



"Oh, I think I hear the kids coming home from school now! Hi guys! How was your day? Do you have any homework?



Great, well you do your homework while I get dinner started."



"Hey kids, dinner's almost.....



.....what on earth have you guys done to the family room?!?!?!"



"Seriously? Seriously??? You've been home for one hour! ONE! Who put the milk by the TV? Why are there cupcakes on the couch? A boogie board? Why in the world did you guys bring the boogie board in here?! Put the kitchen chair back and clean up this mess. NOW!"



"Oh yeah, I love bedtime. Ahhhh, I'd get another rum and Coke, but I'm too tired to get up."



Brooklyn stopped me again. "Moooom, that's NOT how you play dolls! You have to take the kids to Chuck E Cheese. You don't make them clean up. You're not playing right."

Clearly, my kids have better imaginations than I do because no matter how hard I try, I can't fathom putting on makeup, going on a date, and taking my kids to Chuck E Cheese.

But, on the bright side, I think I've gotten out of playing dolls with Brooklyn for a while.

Picky Eaters

Brooklyn walked by, talking on her play phone.

"Yes. Okay. We're putting the babies on the grill now. Uh huh. Sure. Buh-bye."

I waited until Brooklyn hung up and asked her, "Putting the babies on the grill???"

"Yeah, our boss told us to, so we could eat them."

"Your boss? Your boss told you to put babies on a grill? And more importantly, you listened to him?"

I wasn't sure what was more disturbing - the fact that a pretend person was telling my daughters to become cannibals, the fact that they were listening to this pretend person and thought it was perfectly acceptable to grill their dolls, or the fact that I was even questioning this line of thinking.

I walked over to "the grill" where Lexi and Brooklyn had their dolls all lined up, just roasting away.

Oh well, maybe they were on to something. I mean, I can't get Brooklyn to eat more than chocolate milk and peanut butter sandwiches. In fact, tonight, she informed me, "I'm not really into tacos, Mom. I'll just have ice cream."

"Okay, Brooklyn. Get me a bowl too." "I mean, ha ha ha ha ha, you're a funny girl. Now sit down and eat. The taco. Not the baby doll.

Damage Control

While I clean one room, the kids trash two others. This is what I do all day.

"Hey Mom! What is this?"

"Put it back!"

"But what is it?"

"It's packing material. Now PUT IT BACK!"

So, of course, when I checked a couple minutes later, it didn't surprise me one bit to see that Clay had notsomuch put it back, but had instead (with the help of his partner-in-crime, Brooklyn), put it here...



I have no idea what possessed them to fill the sink with styrofoam. I started to scoop it out when I realized that...




the sink was also filled with water.


"What were you thinking???" I asked the kids, knowing clear well that they weren't, in fact, thinking at all. I could hear Bill Cosby's wisdom echoing through my head, Kids have brain damage!


"We were washing them, Mom!"


Ugh. I wondered, I really, truly wondered, if anything I say ever gets through their heads. Today, that question was answered for me.


Clay and Brooklyn had some friends over to play. I heard both Clay and Brooklyn telling their friends things like, "You have to put that toy away if you're done playing with it," and "You have to stay in the kitchen with your snack". I honestly can't count how many times I heard my words come out of their mouths. On the one hand, I was proud, happy, nay, beaming that they remembered my instructions and even went so far as to impart their knowledge to their friends. On the other hand, I wondered how they could remember and tell their friends not to eat in the family room when I have to remind them EVERY SINGLE DAY OF THEIR LIVES NOT TO EAT IN THE FAMILY ROOM! How is this possible? Anyone know the answer to this burning question? Anyone? Anyone at all?

In My Washing Machine are Many Things

I would think the world was ending if I ever switched loads of laundry and I didn't find any rocks, twigs, Legos, Polly Pocket clothes, dollar bills, gum, notes, nails, screws, bolts, washers, Nintendo DS game cartridges, Magnetix, wrappers, pencils, lip gloss, student IDs, disposable diapers, baseball cards, coins, candy, or misc. garbage I've picked up off the floor intending to throw away.

This is what I found today...

Fruit snacks. No one had them in their pocket. I asked the kids and they all insisted it wasn't them. They just magically appeared. Funny how that works, huh?

I just hope I got them all before I put these clothes in the dryer or I'm going to have one nasty, sticky mess. I'm kind of afraid to look.

And on an unrelated note, I found these pictures on the internal memory of my camera. I'm not sure how old they are or which one of the kids decided to dress up Brooklyn like this...

Yep, I encourage the baby to look like a psycho killer, zombie, pirate wrapped in Ace bandages with bad hair.

Foreign Language Lessons

Out of nowhere, Brooklyn said to me tonight, "Mom, you need to go to the duck store."

"The duck store? What's the duck store?"

"The DUCK store!" she repeated like I was an idiot for not knowing what the duck store was.

"What do you get at the duck store, Sweetie?"

"DUCKS!" she said and rolled her eyes just enough to convey the idea that she thought I was completely simple-minded and she marveled at the fact that I'd made it to the ripe old age of 39.

"Well duh. Of course you get ducks at the duck store. What else would you get at the duck store?" I asked rhetorically.

"Crayons!" came her answer.

"Well, of course! Crayons! So, let me get this straight. I need to go to the duck store to buy you a duck and crayons?"

"No, you need to get me a present."

"What present?" I asked, getting more confused the longer we talked.

"A duck and crayons!"

I refrained from slapping myself in the head.

"Is this a real duck?" I inquired.

She looked at me like I was insane. Again. And said, "No, it's a duck that washes off crayons."

It finally hit me. She wants this...

We had one of these bathtub sets a looooong time ago. I can't believe she remembers this!

Foreign language interpreter: just another one of mom's jobs

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Make sure to stop by my review blog for a chance to win a $100 Lands' End gift card HERE

and a case of V-8 V-Fusion juice and an LLBean tote bag HERE!

Naked Mole Rats Escape!

First, I want to thank all of you who took the time to leave me a comment yesterday and today. You guys are the best! You made me cry. In a good way! THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is what Clay and Brooklyn did this morning....they dragged out all their blankets, pillows, and bean bag chairs and piled them up by the front door. It was 11:00 in this picture. Yep, they're still in their jammies, just hanging out in a pile of "squishy stuff".

It's fine though. I didn't have any plans to leave today. They were playing nicely and getting along just fine and I was able to get some of my stuff done while they were burying themselves like Naked Mole Rats in their giant pile of blankets.

A couple minutes later, Brooklyn came and sat next to me on the couch. Within seconds, she fell asleep.

Looks comfy, no? I picked her up off the couch to lay her down in bed when I heard someone at the front door. "Oh great! I'm never going to be able to open the door with all that stuff in front of it." No one comes to our house for months and today, when I can't make my way to the door, someone shows up. I put Brooklyn down and waded through the sea of slumber things to the door. I managed to open it a crack and peeked outside. There stood Clay in his pajamas at the front door!

"How did you.... Where did you.... Wait, aren't you in these blankets? What the...???"

I swear, I had no idea how he got outside. I never heard the back door open. He couldn't have opened the front door. I was sitting right there next to Brooklyn and Clay had been in the blankets just a minute before...

I told Clay to walk around to the back door, but he couldn't get into the backyard because the gate was locked.

"Then how on earth did you get outside?" I began wondering if time travel was possible. Or maybe in all his "experimenting" with household items, he'd actually built a teleportation device with some Tupperware, a AA battery, a plastic shark, and a granola bar wrapper. That must be it! He'd beamed himself outside!

I saw him run to the window in my bedroom. The window which was open. The little stinkerbutt had opened the window, climbed outside and walked to the front door in a matter of 5 minutes. And I was RIGHT THERE! Ugh.

After I'd lectured him on the rule of NEVER opening the windows unless he had permission, I crawled into the pile of blankets and took a nap. What? It could happen!

OK, I didn't really take a nap. I took pictures, of course!

I haven't been reviewing products, but Angie's still working to find the latest and greatest from WAHMs. She's always got a giveaway running on Mamaslike. Check it out!
And you can read more about my trip to New Jersey here. I'll be posting about that for the next week or so.

Only Three Weeks to a Healthier, Happier You (aka - a bunch of lies)

Why is it so hard to change bad habits? I know what I need to do. I know how to make healthy food choices. I know that exercise is important. I know these things. But do I DO them? Nope. Why is that? Why don't I make the changes I know I need to make in order to accomplish my goals? Why is it so darn difficult?

Tonight I had a meeting and I didn't get out of there until 7:30. I was planning on getting a salad for dinner. I was looking forward to eating a big salad. I really craved a salad. But when 7:30 rolled around and I started eyeing the tin of cat food that was sitting on a nearby desk, thinking that I was hungry enough to go for a little Fancy Feast (I mean, it's FANCY and it's a FEAST. How bad could it be?), I started rethinking my salad idea. By the time I got to the drive-thru, I was so hungry that I ordered a lard sandwich with extra butter and a side of gravy, an order of fries, and of course, the requisite Diet Coke. I mean, I was hungry, people! Who wants to take the time to chew on field greens when they're emaciated? I want a cow! (And I don't even like beef!)

Another time I eat garbage is when I'm overwhelmed. I work well under pressure. I like being busy. When my calendar is full of commitments, I buckle down, organize everything and get cracking. No problem, right? But I've found there's a fine line between busy and overwhelmed. When I start to cross that line, I shut down. I no longer prioritize and take care of business. I can no longer break projects into smaller chunks and get it done. I sit there like a deer caught in the headlights, not knowing what to do. So I do nothing at all. I don't know where to start, so I don't start at all. Instead, I reach for the pretzles, or chips, or ice cream, or nachos, or cookies. OK, fine - I reach for all of the above. Hey, I keep busy that way, right? Well, my mouth is busy anyway.

I read somewhere that it takes 3 weeks to break a habit. It does make sense, I suppose. It takes time to retrain our brains. If only we could replace a negative behavior with a more positive one for 3 weeks (only 21 days!), it might just become more natural to us. If we could just replace that half hour of TV in the evening with a brisk walk around the neighborhhood, maybe after 3 weeks, we'd start to look forward to our evening walk instead of Seinfeld reruns. Maybe if we could manage to reach for celery sticks instead of cookies every day for 3 weeks, we'd naturally gravitate toward the vegetables without thinking too much about the cookies. I'm not saying that it would become "easy" to make the healthy choices, but maybe it would become a little easiER. Perhaps?

Who's with me? Who wants to try to ditch a negative behavior and replace it with a healthier one for a mere 3 weeks? I'm going to give it a try. Starting tomorrow, of course. There's a piece of cheesecake calling my name right now.

Or I could just follow Brooklyn's diet...

For breakfast, I could eat a piece of string cheese left in my high chair from yesterday's lunch.


For lunch, I'll throw my chicken fingers on the floor, I'll push my corn off my plate, and I'll use my fry as a spoon to scoop up and eat 2 1/2 cups of ketchup.


Mmmm ketchup.


After I've had my fill of ketchup, I'll eat chocolate sauce until it drips from my face.

For an afternoon snack, I'll eat 2 M&Ms I found on the sidewalk.

Then, for dinner, I'll look at my plate and scream, "I don't wan' it!" repeatedly until someone takes it away from me.

And for dessert, I'll follow Joe around until he breaks down and gives me bites of his ice cream.

I Don't Wanna!

My kids would never dream of misbehaving. They are always polite and respectful. They wouldn't dare throw themselves down on the floor in an all-out tantrum. When I tell them it's time to go to bed, they cheerfully say, "OK Mommy!" Then they brush their teeth without being reminded, they lay out their clothes for the next day, and they say their prayers. They give me a kiss goodnight, thank me for making them eat broccoli at dinner, and tell me I'm the best mother ever. Even Brooklyn, who just turned two, is perfectly behaved and extremely agreeable as proven by this video.

Tickle Me Brooklyn

A Bunch of Random Stuff

First off, I want to thank Alicia at Raina's Designs for this totally cute dress that she made for my baby. These pictures don't do it justice! It's gorgeous! There's so much detail from the lace to the little flowers. This woman can sew and with an actual sewing machine too, not my "sewing" method of hot glue and duct tape. I would've taken a picture with my baby wearing it, but she has a cold and was crabby and not very compliant today (besides I wouldn't want her to get snot on it.)

I want to also thank Kim at Lillian Grace Boutique for making Lexi this adorable tutu and this T-shirt that says, "Move over Cinderella!" She wants to sleep in it every night! Talk about "fit for a princess". I'm not sure what she's doing in the picture. Posing? Shooting laser beams from her fingers? Doing a cute little wave?

And I want to thank Lindsay at My Family Meal Planner for sending me her family meal planner. This is a great cookbook with super easy recipes for busy folks. The really cool part of this cookbook is that she's got four meals planned every week and she includes a magnetic pad of paper with a grocery list for each week printed on each sheet. You can tear off a sheet, hand it to your husband, send him to the store, and as long as he sticks to the list, you'll have the ingredients for four nights of meals. Last night we had taco soup and it was simple to make and yummy to eat. Everyone liked it. Well, except Brooklyn who had fish.....

.....plastic fish

Gotta get those Omega-3s

Yes, that's my almost 40 year old child. Don't want to let the kids have all the fun now, do we? Between you and me - I don't think he was using it as a Pogo stick. I think he was fantasizing about using machinery i.e. a jackhammer.

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Oh yes - thank you to Sandy, a nice woman from my church who has been telling me that "I started reading your blog back before you became 'famous'." She sent me this email...

Dawn,
Just for your information. I found a city named Bob in Louisiana. So even though it would sound out of place in your list of names, it would continue your theme.
Sandy

I stand corrected. I guess you can have an Austin, Savannah, Jackson, Lexington, and Bob. LOL!

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Here is a link to my most recent interview in The Daily Herald.

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Again, I want to thank everyone who's taken the time to leave me a comment or email me. You don't know how much I appreciate it. I do read all of them. Seriously. I only answer a very few because I just don't have the time. I wish I could write you all a personal thank you, but until I figure out a way to add another ten hours to my day, I just can't.

Thank you so very much!

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My little boy is having his adenoids and tonsils removed and possibly a second set of tubes put in his ears tomorrow. I won't be around to update tomorrow night because I'll be staying with him in the hospital. But since you guys are so awesome, I'll take a notebook and some pens and write a funny story while I'm there so check back in Thursday night. ;)