Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Moving On

Now and then Joe texts me. I generally don't respond because I don't care to talk to him, his texts don't usually require an answer, and more often than not, they don't make sense. Believe me, it's easier to just ignore them.

Last week he texted me, telling me that he had a job and would be starting Monday. I didn't respond because what was I supposed to say? Congratulations? I'm so proud of you? Yay? He's had a job all along quite frankly, but he's gotten paid in cash under the table/free room and board/whatever and not passed along a penny of child support from that job, so why should this one be different? Would this be an actual job with W2s and everything? A job where the state could take out child support once again? Honestly, I doubted he even had a job anyway, so I just ignored the text.

Today, I went to pick up some medication for Austin. It wasn't covered by AllKids. It cost $271. I couldn't get it. For the past couple days, Savannah's been complaining of pain and popping sounds in the knee she had surgery on last May. Her orthopedic doctor doesn't accept AllKids. I haven't been able to make an appointment with him. So I broke down and texted Joe to ask him if this was a real job and if he was carrying insurance on the kids again. Apparently "the job fell through". Shocking.

I wrote out a check to pay my taxes today. It was an obscenely high amount. I mean, make you sick to your stomach high amount. On the bright side, I was prepared for this. Taxes hadn't been taken out of any of my income last year and I knew I'd be owing a lot. Thankfully, I had the exact amount I owe set aside for this purpose. That's the good news.

The bad news is that it leaves me with maybe three months' worth of money for living expenses. (And that is thanks to the enormous generosity of you guys!) I've been struggling with so many decisions regarding the future for me and my kids. Today I had to make the tough choice to put my house up for sale. But I can't count on my ex-husband for anything and based on my little income, we can't stay here. It sucks. I hate having to uproot my kids like this especially when they're still having issues with depression.

Taking a deep breath, dealing with the punches as they come, enjoying the little moments, doing what has to be done, and as always, trusting God to carry us through.


*****Please check out my new blog on Babble.com for some laughs! Click HERE!

34 comments:

noexcuses said...

Dawn,

I'm so sorry to hear about the house. Don't give up hope. I'm sure you will begin to feel the prayers coming in. If it wasn't illegal, I'd be happy to share my depression meds. God knows what's happening. He will bring you through it.

You've got my prayers!

Liz

The Big-Bellied Beauty said...

Dawn, I am so sorry you are going through this. You will overcome and you will have amazing kids to show off for all of the struggling you have done.

I only have a two bedroom townhouse, but you're more than welcome to come stay with me in Northeastern Ohio, LOL! I hope that lightened your day, thinking of your 7-person family mixed with my 3-person family in a 2-bedroom with 1.5 bath. Scary...

-Meghan
http://big-belliedbeautysguidetodisneyworld.blogspot.com/

Pam said...

Dawn, I have been down this bumpy road, and the bumps can rattle you to the core. God will carry you and the kids through it. Make the best decisions you can with the information you have and don't look back and second guess yourself. Right now many of us are flying by the seat of our pants, so to say. I will continue to include you and your sweet, funny and talented children in my prayers.

Six-Pack Momma said...

Sorry to hear that, Dawn. I hope you get what your house is worth and you find someplace more affordable. Kids are resilient and I know with you as their mom, they'll be OK. Best of luck, you are in my prayers.

P.S. I am happy to see you at Babble.com. Do you get paid simply if people read, or do I need to subscribe to you or something?

Rikki said...

It'll be okay Dawn. Even though you have to move out of your house, your kids still have you and THAT is what matters. I'll be praying for you guys.

amy said...

Hugs Dawn!
You should move to Oregon, all children here can get pretty good insurance if you qualify (which you probably would). Plus think how much closer you would be to the ocean. And it's really pretty! And last, but not least, the weather is wayyy nicer than Chicago!
Amanda

Mom Taxi Julie said...

I'm sorry you had to put your house up for sale :( Maybe eventually he'll get a job and you'll get a ton of back child support.

V1nce said...

We're here if you need us!

Kim Neyer said...

Oh that is tough, Dawn!! But maybe a move won't be that terrible? I mean, a change of scenery might prove to be a nice distraction and you can make some new memories there. I'll be praying for you guys and a smooth transition - hopefully your house sells quickly so you don't have to deal with the stress of showing the house for months on end. Btw, you are so awesome and funny! :D

Amy said...

I'm so sorry Dawn. I've been in your shoes (almost, I only had 5 kids) and I know how rough it can be. Keep going as you have been and trust in God. One day at a time - I found that was worked best for me.

I hope something comes thru for you soon!

The Gibson's said...

In everything you are all always so positive and something good will come out of this next step. I hope you find a new home in a place that will help you all heal from the struggles you and your children are going through. Thanks for being upbeat, it really helps me to face the crap I go through and I know I can because though my struggles are different it's still a hard trial for me to handle. I LOVE your blog!!!

Mama-in-Ausbildung said...

Sorry about your house =( and everything else you have to go through. I think you are a wonderful and tough mom! Praying for you.

Hugs

MiA

lmworley416 said...

The Lord understands your pain! Praying!
Isaiah 53:1-3: Who hath believed our report? and to whom is the arm of the LORD revealed? For he shall grow up before him as a tender plant, and as a root out of a dry ground: he hath no form nor comeliness; and when we shall see him, there is no beauty that we should desire him. He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not.
Prayer Bears
My email address

DarcsFalcon said...

Praying for you hon. I know how hard this time is. And even though moving seems like a terrible thing right now, it might be a way for you and the kids to let go of some painful memories too.

You're doing great! Your kids see you "rolling with the punches" and that's such a valuable lesson! Nothing stays the same in this life - learning out to roll is a great skill to have.

Heaps and heaps of blessings on you!

ManaSmith said...

I am truly sorry that you are wrestling the decision to sell your home. Feel free to ignore the suggestion as I understand you do not want to uproot your kids, especially the ones struggling with depression, but my 'grass is always greener' comment is that maybe they will embrace a change in scenery.

funnelwebkitten said...

Dear Dawn,

I know this seems like another blow on top of some almost insurmountable blows,but you have proved yourself to be stronger than you ever thought possible, and I am sure that you will face this one down and come through the other end.


Much love from Australia xoxoxo

Deciduous Heather said...

Goodness, It sounds like you are rolling with the punches as best you can. I hate it when the medicine is too much..that is crazy expensive. As a soon to be pharmacist (I graduate in May!) I wonder if there is a more cost-efficient alternative that would treat the same problem. There usually IS!!.....doctors sometimes just prescribe without thinking about things like insurance coverage and co-pays. It is worth asking. (((HUGS))) and good luck house selling vibes coming your way!

Katie Lee said...

I am so sorry you have to sell your home. Moving is always hard, but even more so under these circumstances. But, when one door closes, another one always opens. I will be keping your family in my heart.

Jen@Scrapingirl said...

I'm sorry you are going through all this crap. I am still praying for you guys. I hope you find a new house quickly.

Our Unique Family said...

We are praying for your family everyday! I hope this moves is a wonderful new start for your family!

Tammy said...

Wow. Sorry to hear that things are still piling up. But praise God you had the money saved up, and that you do have money for a couple months. Now is the time to think about that big move you'd considered in the past. You know, where you move to warmer weather close to the beach. Somewhere with lower cost of living and nice quiet schools. :0) I pray for you all the time that God would watch over you and your children. Keep swimming, keep swimming...

Dana from Alabama said...

Dawn, I am so sorry about what you've been going through, and I've been keeping you in my prayers. I don't want to sound callous, but have you thought about going back to work, at least part-time? Since Brooklyn's in school at least part of the day, I thought maybe you could find something to help you out. Maybe a bakery needs a good cake designer! Or Starbucks could be hiring to make fancy drinks. That would at least bring in a little extra income.

On the other hand, I don't know what it's like to raise 6 kids or write for multiple blogs or write books, so I probably don't know what I'm talking about. I just wanted to gently point out that there may be another source of income for you. LOVE your blog and let us know if there's anything we can do to help!

Mother & Wife said...

I know exactly what you are going through.. well maybe not exactly but I think its pretty close. My ex's don't pay their child support and I can barely make it on my own. But I did it! It takes hard work and a lot of dedication! You can do it! Don't worry about the ex! You are the mother of wonderful kids! You do whats best for you and everything else will fall into place! I promise! I was down and out when my daughters dad went to prison. My son at that time was 2 and my daughter was 8 months. He took my car got a dwi and I was stuck. No where to go and no money! I called on family and friends and they helped me get on the right path. As I was working my way into an apartment and making a better life for myself I met my hubby! He has helped so much! ... Don't you worry!! Everything will work out!! Keep your head up! I will be praying for you!!

Nicki said...

I'm sorry you are having to make these decisions. Kids will adapt and so long as they have you there, they will be okay in the long-run. I have to echo the advice to make the best decisions you can make with the information you have, and just go from there. It will all work out in the end.

As far as the medication goes, definitely speak with the doctor and see if there are any alternatives, or if there is a program for medication funding for those without insurance/finances, or even if they can give you samples. I have had family members who have had to rely on samples, when they could get them, as they did not have any insurance and their medication (antidepressants in this case) were fairly expensive.

I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

Lisa said...

Dawn, I am praying for you and your family. I wish I could do something to help out. Do you have any manuscripts that you could publish on Kindle? There are no guarantees, but it would be worth a shot, don't you think? Do you read J.A. Konrath's blog? Anyway, I sure wish I had a way to help. I will be in prayer that God will intervene for you.

Anon said...

Are you planning to move out of state to somewhere more affordable? Or are you selling the house and looking for something smaller/cheaper there in the Chicago area? Although you've told us your house is around 1000 sq feet, so can you go smaller with 7 people?

Colleen said...

OH Dawn...God bless you!!

Where has the donation box gone???? I still havent done mine and I'm thinking now is a darn good time!!

Jade said...

Dawn, I'm thinking of you. Can't have been an easy choice, hopefully it will sell quickly and you will find somewhere else reasonably hassle free. I really hope the kids dad comes to his senses and steps up to the plate with his responsibilities.

Heather said...

God bless you, amazing Dawn.

T.M. said...

That really stinks. We've been there, done that with having to put our house up for sale because we just can't afford to stay in that house any longer (has happened twice now - hopefully won't happen again). But, we're also now in Western NY - the economy is SO depressed out this way - lots of great houses for pretty cheap! :) *just in case you were looking for a good place to live inexpensively*

I hope your house sells for a decent cost and that you can find someplace that works for you and your kids.

hobofuzz said...

Hi Dawn, I'm very very sad and sorry to hear that you have to sell your house. I've been a quiet reader all this while, but I had to post and say to hang in there. I know it's not much, some random person saying a few words, and I really do wish I could do more. Unfortunately I'm still a student (yes, not just adults read this blog! ;P) and monetary contributions are a bit beyond me at the moment. But I believe in karma and that things will eventually work out.

All the best!

Felicia

Rachel said...

I don't know if this will help or not but as far as access to medication sometimes the manufacturer of the medication will give free or greatly reduced prices if you contact them. This has worked for me many times. You can always give them a call and see if they can help you just call the pharmacy and ask for the name of the company that makes your son's med. I will pray for you and your kids this is tough stuff but they have one thing going for them and that is a great mom! I love your babble blog too, great fun!

Chantelle said...

I know you have a million other comments saying the same thing, but I'm sorry that you have to go through this. This can't be easy for you and taking on the burden by yourself is even more difficult. I hope it comforts you to know that your friends in the blogosphere are always here for you.
Thinking positively will always prevail.

Anon said...

It seems like Savanna should be able to get in to see the doctor who did her surgery as a follow-up appointment. You shouldn't even have to pay for it. If I were the surgeon, I would want to see my patient that I did surgery on less than a year ago.

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