Monday, May 10, 2010

Happy Mother's Day (And Other Disasters)

I hope all the moms and mom-like people out there had a nice Mother's Day! I sure did! The kids planned the morning secretly and I honestly had no clue what they were up to. I went to church with Brooklyn, Lexington, and Jackson while the other three stayed home. Savannah had slipped Jackson some money before I left for church so Jackson could buy me a corsage. (My church always sells these for Mother's Day.)

He gave it to me and said, "I know you don't really like flowers, but here." Yes, yes, I admit that I don't really like flowers. It's not that I dislike them. I'm just not big on them. I'd rather that people not spend money on something that's going to die in a few days. And if you give me a plant, I'll just end up killing it within a month. Really. I kill air plants. They just need air! I kill them. Yeah.

But, even though I'm not overly fond of flowers, I love, love, LOVE the thought behind them and that's what counts. So I pinned on my corsage and wore it proudly.

When I got home, I walked in the door to see the table set with a pink tablecloth. Clay had set the table while Savannah made French toast, cheesy eggs, and crescent rolls. How sweet are they? Austin slept the whole time. Five out of six isn't bad, right?

We had breakfast and then I told the kids that for Mother's Day, I wanted them to cooperate and let me take some pictures of them. I loaded up the kids and drove them out to a little wooded area a few towns over where I snapped some pictures.

They were awesome and let me take over 200 photos! Yeah, I know; it's a sickness.

We ended the evening with grilled chicken I sort of, a little bit, burned and a Dairy Queen run to make up for the sort of, little bit, burned chicken and peppers. I went to sleep with a smile on my face because I'm so blessed to be called "Mom" by six awesome kids.

But alas, payback was just around the corner.

Today, Clayton and Brooklyn, my partners in crime mischief, made up for being so good yesterday. While I was talking on the phone and sifting through paperwork in my room, they were making themselves a snack.

"Mom, can Brooklyn and me have a waffle?"

"Sure. Do you need help?" Stupid question. Stupid. Yes, of course, they need help! You always go help them in the kitchen. Always. Those two are not to be trusted around any kind of small appliances. Or utensils. Or food. Or condiments. Or toiletries. Okay, basically, you just can't trust them and you are stupid if you choose to ignore that fact.

I was stupid.

I heard the water running full-blast in the kitchen sink.

"Turn off the water, guys! Hey! Clayton and Brooklyn! Turn off the water if you're done with it! Hello?! TURN IT OFF!"

I walked out to the kitchen to see the water running into the sink. No kids were in sight. I started heading in the direction of the giggles only to stop dead in my tracks.

Yeah, that's a waffle covered in half a pound of sugar. It's also a full cup of some nutritional supplement I've had in the fridge for years. I bought it to give Jackson some extra calories back when he was on medication that curbed his appetite big time. He thought it tasted like sewer water and so it sat in the fridge. Until today.

Not quite sure what prompted them to pour soapy water on the plate o' sugar.

I was too angry at this point, to take pictures of the floor. And besides, I could hear the bathtub faucet turn on, so I slammed down my camera and took off for the bathroom. Four kitchen towels were dripping wet in the bathroom sink. A pile of discarded clothes was on the floor. The two hooligans were climbing into the tub. I remained calm and collected as always as I gently asked, "WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU TWO DOING?!!! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?! DID YOU REALLY THINK IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO DUMP HALF A POUND OF POWDERED SUGAR ON THE TABLE AND FLOOR? WHAT'S WITH THE KITCHEN SINK OVERFLOWING? WHY THE WET TOWELS IN HERE? WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?????"

To which, I received my standard answer. "I dunno."

Deep breaths, Dawn, deep breaths. I threw my hands up and ran back to my computer where I pulled up these pictures from yesterday.

Clearly, this is why God makes little kids so darn cute. So we don't kill them.
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Gilsner said...

Kids, puppies and kittens... cuteness is a survival skill. Isn't evolution grand?!?

Laura said...

Would you like to check out my blog and my giveaway?

Anonymous said...

i'm glad you had a great mother's day. you deserve it! your kids are so beautiful and sweet.

i have a possible question for your next sso: since joe has withheld child support, have you had to go back to official employment?

Frau Mahlzahn said...

Look at it this way: it's _only_ cleaning up and done in a few minutes (if you aren't the superduper antibacterial type, ;-). Ever since I started to make that clear to myself (like a mantra: "it's only cleaning up, it's only cleaning up") I'm much calmer about my kids doing stuff in the kittchen... Actually, they've become quite good, too.

So long,

Keri Jackson said...

Adorable pictures :)

Coma Girl said...

What does it say about me that I am impressed you had 6 clean white shirts!

Tammy said...

Oh Dawn. Your last two sentences made me laugh until I cried. I feel that way often.

I'm glad you had a nice Mother's Day. You deserve more days like that!

Anonymous said...

I kill plants too!! I joke that I have a black thumb of death when it comes to plants.

Those pictures from Mother's Day came out great. Sorry they 'made up' for being good afterwords.

The Mommy said...

Yes, this is why God made kids so stinkin' cute (and yours are SO cute - even with the whole powdered sugar thing).

Today we are having our house appraised. I'm REALLY nervous. I'm convinced there will be projectile something or MY kiddos will find the powdered sugar...

Note to self: Hide the condiments!

Sandy in Illinois said...

Dawn, You can add another awesome talent to your list of talents. What great pictures. What great kids too.

Robin said...

Sounds like you had a wonderful Mother's Day! I'm deserve it. :)

And WOW - Clay & Brooklyn sure do know how to get themselves into trouble! LOL!!

Anonymous said...

Your kids are adorable and I can see why you didn't kill them. Check out those sweet!

Your Mother's Day sounds awesome! What great kids.

daisee579 said...

Congrats on a beautiful and wonderful mother's day - after this past year, you definitely deserved it. And I'm glad the kids figured it out on their own without dad around to remind them!

I can't believe how big they're all getting! Austin is a spitting image of Joe; Savannah, Jackson, and Lexi are mini yous!!

My friend told me recently (we both just had our first) that God made babies' smiles so danged cute so that it made up for the miserable waking up in the middle of the night and chronic tired state we moms walk around in all the time. I can't be mad at her for keeping me up when she grins that big toothless grin at me for feeding and changing her in the middle of the night :)

Happy Mother's Day!!

Jen@Scrapingirl said...

Heehee.... I get so excited when I see a new post from you. Your family cracks me up. This is why we blog. And, BTW, I alwaystell that to my kids. They are lucky they're cute, or they'd be on the front porch with the FREE sign on them. :)

Mamapajama said...

They are adorable, I'll give them that, but...what about consequences for their actions? I know they are pretty young, but I'm a firm believer that you are never to young to learn to pick up your own messes. It tends to lessen the amount of them in the future. My husband has learned the hard way, yelling at the kids does absolutely nothing, kids are impervious to it. Good luck my dear!

Christina said...

Oy what a weekend! Awesome photos!

Little-Bit said...

Happy Mother's Day! What a sweet bunch of kids you the pics :) I wish I could take such great pictures...what kind of camera are you using?

Much More Than Mommy said...

What a super sweet Mother's Day! And 200 pictures, with even 4 that turned out great enough to post? Impressive!

I don't read through all of your comments normally, but one kind of stuck out today. I wanted to ask you -- do you get a LOT of parenting critiques, er, advice in your comments? Do people really think that's helpful?

I've been in awe of you for a long time, and personally, I think that it comes through that you're doing the best that you can -- and that your best is better than a *lot* of moms with fewer kids, a husband, and who *aren't* writing books while they're at it.

Linda said...

Hillarious! I laughed so hard that my stomach hurts. :D:D:D

Beautiful children and very nice pictures!

Amanda said...

But they're so cute! ;-) Happy Mother's Day Dawn!

Jill in MA said...

You could make some extra $$$ on the side doing photography! Those pics are awesome!

Oh, and like Much More Than A Mommy..., I am also shocked that someone would critique your parenting skills. Especially since you didn't even mention the followup from the incident. I give you huge kudos for being able to handle all those kids on your own and keeping your cool in these situations!

Anonymous said...

You did such a great job of photographing your kids! Sounds like you had a wonderful Mother's deserve it! Now the two little hooligans....they're just being "creative".....Sharon

PamGram said...

Reminds me when I found my first Son sitting on the kitchen floor in a mucky mess of sugar,flour,all my spices and westershire sauce&crico oil.He looked up and said "look Mama I cooking"..UGH. I feel your pain/love after 5 kids in 3 decades,70's-80's-90's. You do take awesome photos.

mommeeof9 said...

At least the things they spilled were easy to clean up with water and soap? I came home Sunday noight to a hubby complaining that the load of wash coming out of the washer smelt weird. Upon futher investigation I noted that it smelled like paint or some kind of chemical. My dear sweet 3 yr old got mad at one of the big kids who told him not to do something and threw a gallon of oil based urethane hubby bought to refinish the swingset and the lid came off. My 10 yr old cleaned it up with several towels, my 18 yr old was not paying attention and just threw all the light clothes in the washer, there by spreading it all over the load of wash. I threw out 7 bath towels and a few smaller items. Now the washer drain line is not working, so I am draining the washer into my large mop bucket. Time to call the plumber, again...

Anonymous said...

LOVE your pictures - they are fabulous!! I live in the area and was wondering if you could tell me where that bridge is? I would be interested in taking some pics of my kids with that backdrop :)

Belinda said...

Funny, when my Kiddo does naughty things I say to myself. "You are not a lioness, you may not kill the kiddo." This was especially true the day I found my new $40 kiss proof/eat proof/ nuclear blast proof lipstick on her bedroom floor open. Good thing her floor was covered in toys. Heaps easier to toss a bear than clean a carpet.
*Big Hugs*
Be good
Belinda in Brisbane Australia.

Lyuda said...

Oh, that is so cute (the pics!). Love the black and white one. I'm glad you had a nice Mother's Day. And believe it or not, sometimes, I also refrain from going off on a child just because they are so damn cute! LOL. So I kiss them instead of yelling, and that really helps to dissipate my anger and frustration. :)

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

Happy Belated Mother's Day. I adore the pics of all your kids. Just beautiful!

MaBunny said...

yup, that mess would have made me a bit angry for sure. You are truly blessed with six adorable kids calling you mom:)
Glad you had a great mothers day

AD said...

Belated Happy Moms Day, Dawn! I think you are an awesome mom. I could never juggle so many children and also write a blog about it!! Hats off to you :-)

Anonymous said...

i love those photos, looks so cute :D

Magda said...

"Clearly, this is why God makes little kids so darn cute. So we don't kill them."


SO TRUE!!!!!

Mom Taxi Julie said...

Crazy kids!! The pictures turned out great though!

Anah said...

it is always nice to know I'm not the only mother in the world whose child does this usually on a daily basis lol... the pictures are beautiful

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