Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Cash, Check, or Charge?

I had some errands to run yesterday so I after I picked up Clay from kindergarten, I headed to the store with Clayton and Brooklyn. We went to Michaels so I could get some meringue powder to make icing for gingerbread men. I put Brooklyn in the cart while we walked around the store, browsing the aisles. Clay calmly walked beside us bounced off the walls and hopped through the store like a kangaroo on crack. Why is it that some children (cough cough BOYS) just don't have the ability to walk? Or be quiet? Or control their impulse to loudly sing Jingle Bells with chicken clucks instead of words throughout the store?

So, we looked around a bit, grabbed a can of meringue powder and headed to check out. This is the time that Clay blasted off and actually went into orbit. He kept trying to swing the cart around, forcing me to play tug of war with him so he wouldn't push the cart into a display of ribbon. He couldn't stand still and ended up smacking the butt of the woman in line by us. "Oops, I'm SO sorry! Please excuse us," I gushed as I nearly dislocated Clay's elbow, yanking him back towards me. Of course we were in the longest line in the history of mankind and the customer a few people ahead of us was digging through her purse for change. "$1.82, $1.83, oh a nickel! Let's see, that makes $1.88, $1.89..."

I resisted the urge to shout, "Oh for the love of Pete! Here's a $5.00! Keep the change!" and instead concentrated on redirecting Clay before he got us kicked out of the store. "Let's play 'I Spy'," I suggested. Then, for good measure, I said, "I bet Brooklyn can guess it before you," just to ensure he'd have to play lest his little sister beat him.

I Spy worked for the next 3 1/2 hours as we inched our way forward in line. When it was finally our turn, I plunked my meringue powder on the counter and opened my wallet to fish out my debit card. It wasn't there. I searched the contents of my purse to make sure it hadn't fallen out. No dice. I looked in my wallet again and noticed that my driver's license was missing as well. "Oh no", I thought to myself. "Not again."

"Brooklyn! Did you take my driver's license and debit card again?"

Her big brown eyes widened for a minute, then she guiltily looked down. "Yes, Mama," she admitted.

"Ugh! Brooklyn!" I moaned.

"I sorry, Mama," she said tearing up.

"Brooklyn, you can't keep taking my license out of my purse. Where did you put it? The usual place?"

"It's in the bathroom," she informed me.

I cannot count how many times I've gone to pay for something at a store only to notice that my debit card is missing. She not only takes my cards, but she swipes Jackson's library card and Austin's school ID as well. And she always puts them in the same spot - between the bathtub and the sink. I have no idea why.

After my unproductive trip to the store, I came home and gave Austin a new job - making pretend credit cards, library cards, and a driver's license for Brooklyn out of laminated card stock so she'll stop stealing mine!

27 comments:

Anonymous said...

Kangaroo on crack--love it!!

Robin said...

I'm sorry to always laugh at your expense but gosh darn it....this stuff is funny!!! :)

My son smacked a man on the butt once while we were waiting in line. Yep, I know the embarassment that brings....

Tracy said...

Key cards from hotels are great pretend credit cards, too!

Lynn from For Love or Funny said...

Truthfully, I think I'd go ballistic if my kids took stuff out of my wallet!

Pam L. in Maryland said...

Try giving her all those fake credit cards that come in the junk mail! My youngest LOVED that!!

Andrea said...

My daughter likes to play with gift cards that have no value after we've used them. She uses these as her "credit" cards.

Cookie said...

Yikes! She learned early the value of plastic ;)

Beth said...

I would actually love to hear that version of Jingle Bells.

Winona said...

Ditto to the two above who recommended the fake cards from junk mail and used-up gift cards - my daughter loves 'em.

pmerry said...

OMG you poor woman! You should make sure he really does it up right and put a real picture on her "driver's license" then she will love it so much she won't need yours. That's a fun idea for any kid, really. Or give her empty gift cards that look like credit cards. I have an Amex one, that I would gladly mail you.
Hope it works!

Fooferoo said...

I hide my purse :)

miriamp said...

ooh, good solution! (Making her her own cards) Hope it works!

The day after that, I was doing my usual "supervise a bunch of 2-8 year olds for about 45 minutes between school dismissal and older sibling dismissal" (really it's 5-8, but I bring my 2 and 4 yr olds along) and there were about 5 boys in the group -- 4 of them (3 first graders and 1 K) were absolutely off the wall. They would not sit still for a moment, and kept running around, being too loud, running out of the room into the hall and towards the boys' bathroom (I actually threatened to go in after them if they went in as a group instead of 1 at a time and they came running right back) back into the room... I gave them some matchbox cars to play with and that worked for 3 minutes (2 minutes 30 seconds to each choose 2 cars, 30 seconds of playing nicely) before they were throwing the cars and being too noisy again. They were standing on chairs, crawling on the tables... good thing there was no chandelier to swing from!

So maybe it was something in the air and it took a day to get to the east coast from Chicago? I mean, these are little boys, to a certain extent they're always like that, but yesterday was really excessive.

Elleah said...

My 2-year-old daughter loves playing with the cards in my Mom's wallet, too. I don't let her near mine for those reasons! She's not tall enough to reach my purse on the counter. :)

Anonymous said...

If you go to walmart they can get the gift cards for free and you don't have to add the money to them. Now, of course my kids have got tons of them and I asked a few cashiers if they can have them and they said it iwas fine. You could let her pick out her own pictures on them too.

Laura said...

My husband actually taught my sons early on that you NEVER go in a woman's purse. Don't know what would have happened had we had girls, however...

Tmomma said...

Austin should be an expert at making fake id's by the time he's done making all the play cards ;)

Emma said...

I've just found this blog...
very interesting!

Anita said...

Fake id's... hmm... LOL!! Got to laugh at something.

I hope the new "cards" work. You will have to let us know! :)

Eva said...

I don't think pretend credit cards will work for long! haha but at least you'll have some break!

2 Toddlers and Me said...

Oh what a trip! I'll bet you'll remember it for a long while. I have an awful Costco trip with the kids singed into my brain from over a year ago. I don't know if I'll ever foget it!

Great thinking on the laminated cards. Very creative and hopefully that will be the solution to your missing cards.

Esther said...

I take the gift cards that have NOT been activated yet from Sams Club, Walmart, anywhere if they have a cute picture on them. They work like a charm, are free, and already made.

Anonymous said...

Michaels is one of my favorite stores. Happy Holidays!

~Kat~
Shop.com Ambassador

Belinda said...

My monster used to take coins, not the cards, which is just as annoying.
I told her next time she does it I'll march her to the police station, because what she's doing is stealing. >insert instant stress attack here<
What! She'll need something to tell her therapists when she's 35. May as well make them justifiable.

And nope, The monster also likes to dance/prance/ and do a kanagroo on crack impression every Thursday night (grocery night). It's not just a boy thing. She barks jingle bells, I won't be suggesting the chicken remix.

Thank goodness the only person she hits with the cart is her father. *evil giggle*

Amber Narae said...

Hmm. Is Brooklyn expecting to need your cards when the bathroom salesman comes by? Lol.

Oh, and Dawn, I think it's time to update the pic of you and the kids at the top of your blog... it's been at least a year since then. Probably more like two.

Michelle said...

At least she admits it... the wee ones aren't always quite so forthcoming -- nor are their memories as to where they put things so sharp sometimes.

And the bouncing off the walls? It isn't just boys. Little Miss is my "I can't stop moving for more than a nanosecond" child. If only I could send her to kindergarten this year ;)

Anonymous said...

HERE'S AN IDEA FOR YOU! We get pretend credit cards with offers in the mail. I make sure they are are samples with none of my personal info on them and give them to my little girl. She puts them in her 'wallet'. Perhaps you can try that with Brooklyn and she'll leave yours alone. Another thing you can do is to put them in your purse somewhere other than your wallet. I have a glasses case that is a perfect card keeper and is actually more handy than my wallet.

Sean M. Pearson said...

I love your idea of redirecting your son's energy to make decoys for your daughter's kleptomania. Using one problem to defuse the other, thereby downing two incipient jailbirds with one stone. Highly resourceful.

P.S. Boys just have faster energy throughput than girls. It's their job to burn as many calories as possible to develop those manly muscles. If he hasn't burned enough off at school, you can rely on a Tigger imitation (or variations thereof) as soon as he's let loose.

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