Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Can You Hold This?

I thought I knew what I was getting into when I was pregnant with my first baby 16 years ago. I was going to be a mom. My job would include diapering, feeding, rocking, and caring for my baby. Simple, right? I was clueless I had it all figured out. I had no idea, however, that I would also turn into a chauffeur, a garbage can, a maid, a broken record, or a coat rack. Yep, I'm a coat rack. We went to Clay's Christmas program at school tonight. We got there a half hour early and were greeted to an overflowing cafeteria with standing room only. One by one, the kids peeled off their winter coats and thrust them at me. "Will you hold this?"

"Because there's something wrong with your arms and you can't?" I asked. They laughed and ran off with their friends.

"No, seriously!" I called in a futile attempt to get them to retrieve their outerwear.

I stood there, wobbling from the weight of 7 coats tossed haphazardly into my arms. I couldn't see around the mountain of Gore-tex. I turned this way and that, looking for a safe spot to put the coats, but since we were standing at the back of a crowded lunchroom, there was no place to set them. I was the official coat rack. Wait, scratch that. I was more than a coat rack because just then Lexi ran back to me and tried to hand me her Cyber Pocket video game. Of course, I didn't have a hand available to take the proffered game, so instead of holding it herself, Lexi precariously balanced it on top of the coats. This was about the time Brooklyn decided the purse she'd brought was too heavy to carry. You know, the purse I told her to leave in the car. The purse that was filled with a Barbie, lip gloss, 2 crayons, a half-eaten chocolate chip cookie, a snowflake cut from my last sheet of copy paper, a spare Christmas tree light bulb, a bracelet, a bottle of nail polish, a coupon for a can of Carnation evaporated milk, and a pair of socks. You know, because you just never know.

As the concert went on, my kids asked, "Mom, do you see Clayton? Mom? Mom? Where'd she go?" they questioned each other as they stared at the mound of coats on the floor where I'd once been standing. I wearily raised a hand from under a hot pink, size 3T jacket.

"I'm down here," came my muffled reply. "And we're moving to Florida where people don't even own winter coats," I added.

19 comments:

Eva said...

My daughter caries similar stuff in her purse... On top of all the Barbies, lip gloss, tissues and lego pieces, she also caries few coffee plates, few tiny cups, 2 spoons and at least 1 fork. And she's always ready to serve you a cup of tea!

Anonymous said...

Some people in FL DO wear winter coats AND mittens/gloves...usually when the temps dip below 65! Go figure!

Robin said...

:) You put a smile on my face!! Try to stay warm! I'm feeling your pain...we're a little further south, near Springfield, IL so I'm experiencing the same frigid temps you've got! What's with the temps from one extreme to the other?!?!

Stef and Bry said...

Wow! That is funny. I just discovered your blog. I have 5 kids...5 kids in 9 years. I feel your pain...I mean joy!

Sara said...

Ha! I love the list of Brooklyn's purse contents. It sounds like all the random junk my two-year-old collects and must be saved in MY pockets.

Teresa said...

And you can look forward to the day that they are the parents holding the coats, then blog about it, and you can say, "hmmm...I don't know where they get THAT from, you children NEVER did that as kids!"

Brian said...

OMG! That is so typical!! I got a good chuckle out of this post. I can just visualize each one of your kids giving your their coat and running off. :)

Meg said...

LMAO!!! Too funny!! But in Florida people do have winter coats because they get cold when it drops below 70.
I went to visit a BF's parents one fall/winter. It was 70 degrees out - nice I thought. Got in the 'rents car and they had the HEAT on. They were cold. :-P
Of course it would take you all a few years to adjust so there probably would be a few years sans coats. :-)

Susan said...

I knew there would come one day a reason why I would be glad I was only able to have one child. hmmm...coat rack, I'd hate to get HUNG UP being that. However, I was and continue to be a MONEY TREE. Good blog, Dawn.

Sarah said...

Sorry...but that made me smile and for that I thank you. I see worn-down/weighted-down moms like you @ church all the time...especially the 'big' bro's or sis's that want to be carried when the parent has the baby in the heavy carrier, the diaper bag, the purse, the Bible, the 'big' kid's bag, etc., etc., etc...I'm sure you've been there!

I hope that you at least (from the warmth of the pile!) enjoyed the program?

Just think...soon there will be no programs/activities/school and you'll have them ALL home for a couple weeks...lucky you?!?! ;-) Keep smiling! You are a blessing!!

Anonymous said...

I know that some of your readers said that people in Florida have winter coats and perhaps some do, but my kids don't. (I do, but only because in the late 90s I lived in Ohio). I just can't see spending money for big coats that we might use two or three times.

Cynedra

PS I had to run the air conditioner yesterday.

Michelle said...

Love it :) I refuse to be the garbage can -- which they have finally accepted -- but the coat rack? ummm yeah. Fortunately two coats isn't so bad. But I can only imagine with 7. I hope the Christmas program was wonderful!

Anonymous said...

I live in FL, and we own 0 winter coats, maybe a sweatshirt but thats it! :) and the a/c is on right now, btw i love your blog!

Carrie said...

Yeah, I had a hard time understanding your post until I realized that our version of "coats" in AZ are sweatshirts. ;) haha, just kidding. No but really, I don't own a real coat. Its wonderful, but you have to agree to survive the 115 degree summer without complaining TOO much. :)

Anonymous said...

So true, so true. I never knew before I had kids that being a mom also means you become the family pack mule. My husband evens gets in on the act and wants me to hold his keys. Really?

Sunnyworld said...

I had no idea Kraft had a YouTube site! Love it! I would also love to receive that basket!

Belinda said...

I deliberatley have a small handbag now. Otherwise I'm hubby's pack horse. Keys, wallet,(okay so that one could come in handy) front bit of the car cd player *security reasons apparently*, cell phone, you name it.
My monster, however, has learned the hard way that when I say 'don't bring it or you'll be carrying it', I mean it.
This includes the stupid free toys when we eat out.
Thank goodness the heaviest jacket needed here is a thin cardigan... and she can tie that around her waist.
Belinda
Brisbane Australia

Vanessa Rogers said...

You could move to Texas... we don't use coats here either :)

majikfaerie said...

Just wondering if you remember saying this and if it feels at all eerie standing at this end of perspective? LOL

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