Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Jackson had a hockey game, Austin had a baseball game, and Savannah had a softball game last night. At the same time. At fields across town. This is why I have a strict "One Activity Per Child, Per Season" rule. Still, I'd pay big money for a cloning machine right about now. And I'd send one of my clones to the games until the weather warmed up and I no longer needed a down coat and a cup of coffee to keep warm.
I might send in a clone when my kids were pitching too because I find it very nerve-wracking watching them pitch. For some reason, all the pressure of the game seems to ride on the pitcher's shoulders. If the team wins, then hooray for the pitcher! If the teams loses, then it's all the pitcher's fault. Or so it seems.
Of course, I might have to send a clone when it gets really hot and humid too. I mean, I've seen players pass out from the heat in June and July. Yeah, that would be a really good time to send a clone, I think. And why stop there? While I'm at it, I think I could use a clone to do my laundry. Oooo, and I could use one to yell at the kids when they put their clean, folded clothes back in the hamper before they've even worn them simply because they're too lazy to put them away. I'm getting really tired of doing that. A clone to cook dinner would be nice. I think one to do the grocery shopping, one to clean the bathrooms, and one to run errands would be a good idea also.
That would leave me with plenty of time to play unending hours of dress-up, "restaurant", Hi-Ho Cherrio, and Rock Band with the kids. I would always have time to play one of Brooklyn's favorite games called "put on Polly Pocket's clothes, take off Polly Pocket's clothes, put on Polly Pocket's clothes, take off Polly Pocket's clothes, put on Polly Pocket's clothes, take off Polly Pocket's clothes". I'd also have all the time in the world to watch the kids play catch, or H-O-R-S-E in the backyard. I could watch Clay for hours when he says, "Hey Mom! Watch me!" as he skips off on one foot while flailing his arms in the air. "Did you see me, Mom? Were you watching? Can you do that, Mom?"
Yep, more of me is what I need. Well, actually I don't need more of me as in "I need to gain weight so there's more of me." I really need much less of me in that sense. But I could use a couple clones to help me out. That's what I want for Mother's Day. Are you listening, kids? Hint, hint.
Posted by Dawn at 6:00 PM