Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Crazy Googlers!

It's been a long time since I checked my stat counter to see the keywords people have googled that brought them to my blog. I took a look at it this week and this is what I found...

let's do lunch diet program
YES! Now, that's MY kind of diet program. Let's do lunch!

what to pack for kids when you go out of town
If you're going out of town, you should probably pack for yourself, not the kids. Remember pants!

teeth marks soap
You mean like this?

flour sack babies really a relevant way to teach children how to be parents
No, but you can make some delicious chocolate chip cookies with them.

212 year old not interested in potty training
Yeah, once you hit 212 years, I think it's perfectly acceptable to wear diapers again.

i have a wet pullup on any one wants to respond
I really want to respond, but alas I'm speechless.

jeff foxworthy anal seepage
Poor Jeff. Sounds like a personal problem.

perforated eardrum still hurts

suffocating dinosaur costume
Yes, this mom doesn't want to make any ordinary dinosaur costume for her son. She's looking up patterns for a "suffocating" dinosaur costume.

why would a cat attack a person holding a crying baby?
to get the baby to shut up?

hr huff n puff carton
OK, this person is probably referring to the warped old cartoon, H. R. Pufnstuf. Unless it's a new brand of cigarettes, perhaps? "I'll just take a carton of huff n puffs please."

stay at home mom gets nothing for mother's day, should i be angry
It depends. Is the stay-at-home-mom you?

if i got stung by a bee and i'm 6 months from having a baby
Yes? What's your question?

mom love girls old 3 and short com

love mom baby old 3 girls short com.
Ohhh, that's better. Wait, no it's not. Huh?

lego indiana jones tips how get thru the darkness
I don't really think you want THESE tips...

6 kids family large blog
I have 6 kids, but just an average sized blog.

dawn meehan i don't have an accent Sunday sound out because i said so \
Hey, I don't have an accent either!


what do you do when you find the blue thing after having dinner? indy
Ummm, just where exactly did you find this blue thing?

my three year old stuck clay up her nose
Hey, my three year old stuck a Tic Tac up her nose!

math riddles 100 smurfs purple hair midnight
Those of you who have read my blog for any amount of time, know I'm not mathy, but seriously, does this make any sense???

riddle midnight smurf hair purple
Uhhh, still not getting it.

jax parrow
It's the new creative spelling for Captain Jack.

can i pick my 11 year old friends
If you're 11, sure you can! If you're an adult, maybe you'd better find a little older friends.

hairball looking spider
I don't know, but I have seen a spider-looking hairball.

nephew forced to wear poodle petticoats
Poodles have petticoats?

how to make cheap light sabers from pool noodles
Step 1. Buy a pool noodle
Step 2. Give it to your kids
Step 3. Pay ER bill when your child is injured with pool noodle light saber
Step 4. Realize they aren't so cheap afterall

what is a good comeback for that is not what your mom said last night?
"Oh yeah, Reilly? Well, the jerk store called, and they're running out of you."


Lynn from For Love or Funny said...

Um, I had a dream about 100 smurfs who turned my hair purple, made my nephew wear poodle petticoats, and stuffed me in a suffocating dinosaur costume. Google led me here, for comforting.

I feel better now, so I'm going to pick some hippotomushrooms for dinner.

Susan Raihala said...

These are hysterical! I posted an essay titled "Bike Porn," a reference to how bicyclists like my hubby love looking at pictures of other people's bikes or cool new bikes in magazines and online. (My blog is PG, or sometimes PG-13 at the worst!) This resulted, as you can imagine, in some amazing google search hits that must have horribly disappointed the searchers.

MaBunny said...

omg , those are hilarious! sounds like some people just type stuff in to see if they will get to your blog!

Amber Narae said...

Thank you for sharing, Dawn. It made me cry I laughed so hard! At LEAST no one googled bat poop and butt paste this time!

April said...

"What's the difference? You're their all-time best seller!"

I love that episode!

TheQueen@TerrorsInTiaras said...

Seriously?! I hope most of those searchers are third graders. You really couldn't make this stuff up! Too funny.

Dayna said...

some people should not be allowed to google

Anonymous said...

I laughed really hard at a few of these. Thanks!

Susie said...

That was so funny! I couldnt stop laughing.

Kelsie said...

These made me laugh so darn hard... :D How do you find out what people have been googling? I have a blog too.

Jessica said...

This was hilarious! Thanks for sharing!

Michelle said...

I was laughing at all these silly people... until I got to the Playdough one and realized that I don't remember what I'm supposed to do if someone sticks something up a nose. Crap. I know there's a non-ER solution and now I forget what it is. But I'm SO not googling it after reading these!

Bonni said...

I actually sometimes "seed" my blog with unusual words just to try to frustrate and annoy people searching for questionable material. For example, recently I managed to get the words cute, chick, flash, and peeper all in the same post, and it was 100% clean. I was proud of that one...

Dana said...

"jax parrow
It's the new creative spelling for Captain Jack."

Perhaps they were looking for Captain Jack's parrot? Or a Jacksonville sparrow?

Becky said...

I always know I can count on a few good chuckles here, lol.

Jen said...

Dawn these posts always crack me up! I started checking my stat counter too, but they are never as funny as yours!

Sierra said...

This is hilarious. My blog is also basically g-rated, but this post gets an obscene amount of traffic, presumably from people who are not looking for a parenting blog:

Candi said...

Should I have my dr. repeat my Altzheimer's exam if some of these make sense to me?!
Turns out I'm just aging normally(seems the hinges of the steel trap have worn down some).

JennyF said...

I'm dying...truly, just about falling out of my chair laughing at these. Thanks for sharing! I can't remember how I stumbled across your blog the first time, but now I know I have it bookmarked and check it all the time! No weird "anal ants in pants to tell a 3yo" cryptic searches for me!

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