Friday, October 3, 2008

The Weirdos Who Happen Onto My Blog

It's been a while since I took a look at my Stat Counter to see the keywords that have brought you people to my blog. I looked today. I'm sorry I did.

Photos of smurf bedroom theme
Reasons why 4 year olds should never be allowed to redecorate

Woman that smell like feet
Are there guys out there looking for women who smell like feet? Perhaps someone is trying to find a cure for women who smell like feet? Are there women who smell like feet? Who are they and why do they smell like feet? And most importantly, why on earth did this lead them to my blog???

Why do my legs shake when I put my weight on the ball of my foot?
How much do you weigh?

I love to watch sky when it’s blue
Umm thanks for letting me know?

Sick of repeating myself
I’m sorry. What did you say?

When should my daughter shave her legs?
When she starts looking like this…

I have to run erons
Make sure to stop by Borders and pick up a dictionary while you're out.

Ripe blue barry’s
Maybe you can borrow that above guy's dictionary.

indiana buro of motor vehicles licens plates
Umm, yeah, that dictionary's going to get a lot of mileage.

Clear gelly substance in baby butt
First, get in line to borrow the dictionary. Then, make sure you change your baby's diaper before it explodes, leaving gel particles all over his butt.

Because butt paste tastes so awesome I said so

Brooklyn agrees.

Pictures of bat poop

My mother makes me wear girl clothes
Hmmm, well, are you a boy or girl?

Boys who like wearing their sisters panties and skirts
Well that answers that question.

Secret # 6; it?s every girls dream to have a guy call her at 3 in the morning just to say I love you
Oh yeah? Well, here’s secret #7 – If you call a mom at 3 in the morning she will 1. Freak out that something bad has happened and 2. Chew you out for cutting into her precious sleep time just to tell her something stupid like “I love you”.

How often do bats pee or poop

Again with the bat poop?

Smacking noises eating
Things that make me want to do bodily harm to Joe.

And if you left me a comment on a post over at my REVIEW BLOG, please check back to see if you won. I have a few unclaimed prizes.


Jen said...

Those are pretty funny! Lots of bat poop! he he

Lisa said...

I'm with you on the search terms. Sometimes I feel dirty just READING it..

Mom of 4 in Austin said...

Oh my gosh...every time I read these I cry laughing! I can't imagine anyone searching for anything such as "women that smell like feet" but I guess there's someone for everyone out there :) You should just post these monthly...they are too funny not to share! Love it!

Anonymous said...

OMG Dawn, those are too funny! I'm sorry I just couldn't help myself, I had to google "do bats pee or poop?" and the 3rd and 4th hits were "Because I said so!" Thank you so much for the best laugh I have had all week. I could tell you about my week, but for sure it wouldn't be as funny as yours. I just came back to your blog after somehow getting dropped from your email list and I reaized how much I had missed it. It was like coming home reading the last few day's worth. I always go away feeling uplifted by your wonderful sense of humor and delicious writing style. Keep up the great work!

Sudee in Florida said...

Mercy.... how you crack me up. I can hardly believe so many people can't spell correctly. But, it sure makes for funny on your blog. Had a problem with bat poop here lately?

Andi said...

Thank you for the laugh. I so needed it today. Have a great weekend.

Patois said...

Oh, good God! Those are great.

Colorado Mommy of 3 said...

Totally hilarious! said...

I can't believe THOSE keywords brought people to YOUR blog.

Are you the expert on bat poop?

Shiloah Baker said...

ROFLMBO! Thanks for the laugh today!!! That was funny!

Anonymous said...

Dawn, please make a point to post these monthly at least. They are soooo funny.

About the guy with the cross chest hairs... Am I the only one that can see this?? That is clearly a shadow. There must be a church just behind the photographer and the sun is shining just right to put the cross on his chest. And he is holding water skis, that is why he is not wearing a shirt.


Melissa said...

Just to give you the heads up, I think your link's broken :-/

Dave S. said...

I thought "butt paste" was something that you made up, and not a real product, Dawn. Is it some kind of a glue? I think I have to fix a crack. :)


Michelle said...

These so outstrip every one I've ever had... but you need to figure out what the fascination is with you and bat excretion. That one's a little worrisome. Ok, that and any mom who makes boys dress like girls, but that was a given, right?

I Play Outside The Box said...

Can't help but chuckle sometimes.

Anonymous said...

I guess it takes all kinds, but really? This brings to mind... "they walk among us." I had some creepy google searcher for "duct tape, babies time out." EEEEK! Somebody let me know there was a funny picture circling; maybe they were looking for that, but even so, still creeped me out. Some people's Parents, huh?? Blessings, Whitney

Amy W said...

Dawn, I started reading your blog after the ebay incident and have thoroughly enjoyed it. I am the mom of 4 boys and I love reading about your life. I have a question for the SSO: We do a lot of camping also. We camp in a trailer. Most of the campgrounds we have checked out (we live in CO) have a 6 person max policy. 1) Do you camp in a trailer? If so, can you tell us about it. 2) Do you have to get 2 campsites or do they allow all 8 of you on 1 campsite. Thanks!

Shelley said...

"Ripe blue barry’s"

This made me laugh. All I can think of is Ripe blue barry's what? What could Barry have that is ripe and blue...oh. ICK.

Joanne said...

My first time by...and by the laughter from this post, it won't be my last.

..and by the way, the toilet paper on your shoe at your high school reunion was SOOOO ME! We would have been friends in school for sure...

except that, the class of 86' rules!

HeathSaw said...

These are great! Thanks for sharing again. These are some of my favorite posts.

I did a search a long time ago for the clear "gelly" in baby's diapers. I remember how freaked out I became after finding them. Our problem- really cheap diapers. Never used those again.

bada*blingg said...

okay... I HAVE to know where you got that stat counter!!! I NEEEEDDDD it!

I love all the wierdo searches!!! HAHAHAHA!

Kristal said...

I'm just mindlessly wandering around Mormon Moms Who Blog. I wouldn't normally comment ona "random" blog, but that picture of Chewbaka (maybe I need the spell check?) was hilarious!

Thank you! Thank you for a much needed belly laugh!

I like your messy kids pics, too. If you've got time check out my "The Destruction Gene" post for pics of my mess-makers!

Ari said...

Ok, you're probably shaking your head at how many people ask this question, but how do you know what search words people use to find your blog?
BTW, love the new setup, but it took me a while to figure out that I had to scroll down if I clicked on a link in order to see it.

Tiff said...

I love when you do this. I just recently started my own blog, and I blatantly stole this idea, but I gave you credit! Hope you don't mind! I love your blog, you are a great mom.

Tracey said...

Please stop....I am peeing my pants from laughing so hard!
Where do these people come from?!

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